LCTV Posted January 9, 2023 Posted January 9, 2023 HOW do you deal with a roommate in this situation. I'm the newest one to enter the apartment but I've been here since October. There's ALOT of clutter all around the house and I have the urge to go through things and have a ' keep this or throw it ' type moment. It seems like throughout the literal YEARS people have left things upon leaving and she has this thing about saying ' well we can use it ' Any time I want to even organize an area I'm met with constant push back and it's like ' Cool you're gonna put the plants outside when it warms up but can we keep them on the actual table instead of on the benches we're supposed to sit on '
LCTV Posted January 9, 2023 Author Posted January 9, 2023 I'm never gonna feel " at home " or " a sense of welcome community " if I literally can't try to move INTO THE SPACE.
dman4life Posted January 9, 2023 Posted January 9, 2023 I just wouldn't even worry about it atp and focus on keeping my areas clean and organized while saving for my own place.
May Posted January 9, 2023 Posted January 9, 2023 lemme give u some honest advice … give up . move out as soon as u can . those ppl do NOT change and you being the latest person to move in really doesn’t do you any justice bc you’ll always be seen as the rude person who came in and started moving everyone’s things about and changing what people are accustomed to . if you carry on i guarantee you will become hated , and being hated by your housemates is 10x worse than clutter (as annoying as clutter is) stick to ur space , keep ur space clean , get out asap and don’t rock the boat
LCTV Posted January 9, 2023 Author Posted January 9, 2023 (edited) 9 minutes ago, dman4life said: I just wouldn't even worry about it atp and focus on keeping my areas clean and organized while saving for my own place. pretty much the plan. 4 minutes ago, May said: lemme give u some honest advice … give up . move out as soon as u can . those ppl do NOT change and you being the latest person to move in really doesn’t do you any justice bc you’ll always be seen as the rude person who came in and started moving everyone’s things about and changing what people are accustomed to . if you carry on i guarantee you will become hated , and being hated by your housemates is 10x worse than clutter (as annoying as clutter is) stick to ur space , keep ur space clean , get out asap and don’t rock the boat yeah my room is on lock so that's really all I care about. although it'd be nice to feel like i can have somewhere to put groceries atleast. I've tried to become more welcoming to maybe being friends with the people so it's really just my intentions trying to help but I'm not gonna fight it. Edited January 9, 2023 by LCTV
Champagne Posted January 9, 2023 Posted January 9, 2023 19 minutes ago, May said: lemme give u some honest advice … give up . move out as soon as u can . those ppl do NOT change and you being the latest person to move in really doesn’t do you any justice bc you’ll always be seen as the rude person who came in and started moving everyone’s things about and changing what people are accustomed to . if you carry on i guarantee you will become hated , and being hated by your housemates is 10x worse than clutter (as annoying as clutter is) stick to ur space , keep ur space clean , get out asap and don’t rock the boat This is great advice. I agree with this from my experience as well. There is nothing better than walking into your own place after work/long day. Try to save (easier said than done, I know) and get out ASAP.
moonlitdick Posted January 9, 2023 Posted January 9, 2023 When does your lease end? I’d move out asap
Richmond Posted January 9, 2023 Posted January 9, 2023 Move out sis. Roommates just don’t work for us queens. Live pay cheque to pay cheque if you have to live on your own with peace of mind. That over roommates and saving a couple of coins ANYDAY >>>>>>>
shinyshimmery Posted January 9, 2023 Posted January 9, 2023 Living alone >>>>> From personal experience, things will never change. You can't fix people's bad habits. But also, you are paying for that place too... you SHOULD be able to move around things that are in your way. I personally don't understand why some people get so bothered with a home being clean and organized... I would LOVE to have help like that around, and not have to be the only one doing the chores around the house. I'm borderline OCD and need my living space to be CLEAN and neat at all times.... otherwise it affects my mentality in a negative way. Anyhow, I hope you're able to move out on your own soon <3 there's nothing better than to own your own things and be able to do as you please with your own place.
Last Boy on Earth Posted January 9, 2023 Posted January 9, 2023 (edited) It doesn’t matter. Even if you comment something they’ll apologise and do it again in 1 day. Some people just seem like they were grown in a jungle without any common sense or manners. I live with a dirty French and the solution was hiring a cleaning lady because this 30 year old person just is unable to learn basic daily life stuff and I was having daily nervous breakdowns just by looking at the mess. Edited January 9, 2023 by Last Boy on Earth
zasderfght Posted January 9, 2023 Posted January 9, 2023 As someone who is currently living with a friend from high school, let me tell you, the above posters are correct: people will not change their bad behavior unless they value cleanliness and working on bad behavior. If people are slobs and don't care about keeping a place clean/orderly, they will not change. I tried a chore list with my roommate, suggesting her and I have clean days, talking to her directly about doing dishes the moment we dirty something, and my roommate will still leave the place looking like a pigsty. I'm in a good spot because my boyfriend's lease ends a few months after mine, and him and I are likely moving in together (we discussed this already). If you're going to live with another roommate, my advice: -Find someone whose lifestyle matches yours. If you're clean, don't live with a slob. If you're financially responsible, don't live with a person who spends every check they earn. There is a HUGE difference between spending time with your friend on your off time and actually living/sharing a space with someone.
CottageHore Posted January 10, 2023 Posted January 10, 2023 For lots of people- holding onto things is a trauma response or deeply rooted in their upbringing and being raised on a scarcity mindset. You can politely address the issue but it likely won’t change. It’s their space too and they will likely think they should be able to keep what they want. Obviously, they need to be courteous of everyone living there though, so maybe y’all can set some rules together. If not, keep clean what you can and accept that this is who the people you are living with are.
Nano Posted January 10, 2023 Posted January 10, 2023 (edited) My current apartment is an absolute trainwreck. A few weeks ago one of my roommates just left a sliced lemon to rot on the kitchen counter. There were maggots. Took a while for anyone to bother cleaning that up (it wasn't me). Honestly? I consider this an improvement over living with clean freaks. I don't give a damn about anything outside my room, who cares about the rest of the house. Kinda liberating living with people who feel the same way. Moving outta here as soon as my year ends, though. Edited January 10, 2023 by Nano
Theshigo Washidu Posted January 13, 2023 Posted January 13, 2023 You're just going to have to mind your own business and guard your own space unfortunately. Living with roommates is a gambling situation and you never know who or what type of person you will come across.
FOCK Posted January 13, 2023 Posted January 13, 2023 I can’t imagine ever living with a roommate/flatmate again. All I hear are horror stories & I’m way too particular about my living space & cleanliness. I’m sorry that you’re going through that, it must be really frustrating. If you’ve already tried to reason with them to address the matter & have had no luck, just dip, or ask them to leave, based on whatever the arrangement is. If they’re allergic, get a cat.
Kamil24 Posted January 13, 2023 Posted January 13, 2023 On 1/9/2023 at 9:57 PM, Nano said: My current apartment is an absolute trainwreck. A few weeks ago one of my roommates just left a sliced lemon to rot on the kitchen counter. There were maggots. Took a while for anyone to bother cleaning that up (it wasn't me). Honestly? I consider this an improvement over living with clean freaks. I don't give a damn about anything outside my room, who cares about the rest of the house. Kinda liberating living with people who feel the same way. Moving outta here as soon as my year ends, though. That sounds horrible, I would rather live with clean freaks. Even if my room was clean, I could not sleep in the same house knowing the rest of it was filthy.
zasderfght Posted January 13, 2023 Posted January 13, 2023 Not sure why us clean freaks get a bad rap. When you keep things clean, you're putting in extra effort/work in the beginning, but then it creates less work when you go to cook something, it's easier to find your clothes and cook/bakeware, and you can easily discard/throw things out because the trash isn't pilling up. Also, you avoid insects/critters and dust bunnies when you're clean.
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