Saying goodbye to a beloved pet—how did you cope?

[mercurialworld]

Hello everyone,

 

I hope you're all having a happy new year/new years eve so far. I'm really struggling today because my family and I might have to make the hard decision to say goodbye to our cat, Peaches, soon. She has been a constant and joyous presence in our lives for the past 16 years, and it's hard to imagine a future without her. She was actually born inside our home, and barely being an adult myself, I don't remember much life before her.

 

Unfortunately, Peaches has been experiencing some health issues lately. She has lost a significant amount of weight, and our vet has diagnosed her with hyperthyroidism. She has also started hiding in places she never used to, which is out of character for her.

My mom and I were talking today, and she mentioned the possibility of putting Peaches to sleep once my brother returns from his trip abroad. I honestly left the room and started crying. I'm just not ready to let go of her yet.

 

I know that it's something we will eventually have to do, but I'm feeling lost and scared right now. I'm not sure how to prepare for this, and I'm hoping that someone here might be able to share their experiences and offer some advice or tips on how to handle this difficult situation.

 

If anyone has gone through something similar, I would really appreciate your thoughts and guidance. What did you do to help cushion the blow and cope with the loss of a beloved family pet?

 

Thank you for reading.

Edited December 31, 2022 by mercurialworld

[GentleEarthquake]

Sorry for your loss

 

When my yellow fish died i just cried until i had Ariana Grande lead single from Sweetener

[1000 forms of queer]

Remind yourself that it’s just a cycle of life.

People come and go

Pets come and go

 

You will build new memories with new pets (if you decide to have one). If not, life moves on and I’m sure your pet would want you to move on too 

[Sheep]

Aging completely destroys the body of every mammal. One thing that helped me was knowing that my pet wasn't being tortured by all of that anymore. The love and the memories, on the other hand, aren't going anywhere and will be with you forever. Trying to have a peaceful and loving transition for her also helped me in the moment a lot. 

[Beyonnaise]

I lost my dog early this year. It was really hard, but now that some time has passed I choose to remember all the good times and memories made with her. When I go on walks outside, I always think about how lucky I was to have her for so long and how much joy she brought my family. I find comfort in acknowledging that the chapter of our lives with her may have came to a close, but that she's no longer suffering and went back into nature like we all will someday.

 

Sending love to you  

Edited December 31, 2022 by Beyonnaise

[Nashe]

Once our beloved pass, their released energy stays around us forever and we can imagine them in the sky dancing between the clouds.

Their physical appearances laid in the ground to rest will slowly turn into all the beautiful flowers, grass and trees you see around.

Don't be sad that it's over, be happy that it happened and that you met. Celebrate her life and keep the good memories in your heart.

One day, somehow and somewhere, our souls will meet again. 🤍

[PoisonCandy]

It's like losing a family member. Our cat was hit by a car when I was about 16 and it was one of, if not the saddest day of my life. Seeing his body there on the side of the road, I was in disbelief. I've never forgotten about him. Just like a human family member, they'll always be with you, as corny as that sounds. What helped me a little was doing pretty much exactly what you're doing, reaching out to others who have had similar experiences. I joined a Facebook group for people who had recently lost their pets and I just got all of my feelings out. I found some comfort in that. It got easier overtime, but like I said, he'll never be forgotten.

[KillingYourCareer]

My childhood dog, Briscola (named after an Italian card game I'd always play with my grandparents), passed after 14 and a half years with us in the spring of 2019. It was awful. Many suggest getting a new pet right away to get over the loss, but my parents didn't feel it was right (my mom especially... she didn't want to compare the new dog to him). What we told ourselves is that Briscola lived a very good life, he always had food and love, and he even became a father--and he lived happily for as long as a dog could. Rejoice your memories together with Peaches!

[The Last of Us]

Sorry that you’re having to go through this. I had to have my cat put down in October 2021 and it was extremely difficult to do. All I can say is that time does heal. You won’t forget about them, but you’ll learn to live with the pain. One thing I had done that really helped was to have a cushion made with a photo of my cat on it and I keep it at the end of my bed, so it’s like he’s still there with me. It’ll be really weird at first as you learn to navigate a life without your pet, as I still find myself now looking to see if he’s outside waiting to come inside and this year I saw a Christmas box for cats and almost put it in my cart until I remember that I no longer have a cat, but it’s just part of the journey. Grief is a strange thing and there’s no right or wrong way to experience it. I can have days where I feel fine and then other days where I just can’t believe I’ll never get to hold or smell my cat again, but you just take everyday as it comes. 

Edited January 1, 2023 by The Last of Us

[Buffy]

1 hour ago, mercurialworld said:

Hello everyone,

 

I hope you're all having a happy new year/new years eve so far. I'm really struggling today because my family and I might have to make the hard decision to say goodbye to our cat, Peaches, soon. She has been a constant and joyous presence in our lives for the past 16 years, and it's hard to imagine a future without her. She was actually born inside our home, and barely being an adult myself, I don't remember much life before her.

 

Unfortunately, Peaches has been experiencing some health issues lately. She has lost a significant amount of weight, and our vet has diagnosed her with hyperthyroidism. She has also started hiding in places she never used to, which is out of character for her.

My mom and I were talking today, and she mentioned the possibility of putting Peaches to sleep once my brother returns from his trip abroad. I honestly left the room and started crying. I'm just not ready to let go of her yet.

 

I know that it's something we will eventually have to do, but I'm feeling lost and scared right now. I'm not sure how to prepare for this, and I'm hoping that someone here might be able to share their experiences and offer some advice or tips on how to handle this difficult situation.

 

If anyone has gone through something similar, I would really appreciate your thoughts and guidance. What did you do to help cushion the blow and cope with the loss of a beloved family pet?

 

Thank you for reading.

My cat has had hyperthyroidism for several years and he’s been on medication. Are you guys giving your cat any of the pills and changing its diet? That should help…

[mercurialworld]

19 minutes ago, Buffy said:

My cat has had hyperthyroidism for several years and he’s been on medication. Are you guys giving your cat any of the pills and changing its diet? That should help…

We were given a cream, but it’s so invasive to use. We’ve been trying to use it on her but it’s like she knows when it’s time for us to apply it and she hides  she knows what’s happening

 

Also, thank you guys so much for the kind and reassuring messages  I can’t believe I already broke down and she’s still here with me lol. I’ll post a picture of her once I’m back home in the new year 

[May]

a couple years ago i lost my best friend of 18 years , my poodle , and it was the most gut wrenching feeling ever

 

i dealt with it by getting monumentally drunk for 1 whole day and for that whole day i just let ALL my emotions out, i cried my heart out and looked through old pictures of us. after that, i still felt the pain but it was manageable because i gave myself that 1 day to just go completely crazy w the emotions and let it all out

[Enigmanotta]

Unfortunately, we also had to say goodbye to our 16 years old orange tabby cat, Pacha, on January 28th 2022, so I can only imagine all too well how you must be feeling right now... I, too, had grown up and spent the majority of my life with him beside me. We were very luck to find a veterinarian who performs at-home euthanasia. We booked her so that he could pass away peacefully in the comfort of his home, surrounded by the love of his family and fellow cat brother and sisters. If this is an option that's available to you, I can only recommend it to you. It was worth every dollar and I will never regret paying for it, one of the best decisions I've ever made.

 

In the days leading to his death, I slept beside him multiple times, telling him everything I had on my mind, kissing and petting him. I told him how grateful and thankful I was to have been given the chance to spend those 16 years with such an extraordinary cat. I will always remember him tearing up after telling him he could stop fighting and leave us if the pain was too much to bare. Those open heart moments truly helped me process my grief and approach his passing.

 

If you have any other animals, make sure to confide into them. Their presence and their love is the softest way to soothe and heal your wounds. If you don't have any other animals, although it may sound selfish right now, I strongly recommend you consider adopting a new one. All the love and affection you have to give won't disappear and will still be waiting to be spread.

 

I sadly don't have any other advice or suggestions to give you... Please give Peaches a big kiss for me. I hope everything will go as smoothly and peacefully as possible for her and your family. May she rest in peace when the time comes... 

Edited January 1, 2023 by Enigmanotta
typo

[Blue Monday]

I'm so sorry for your loss, my dog passed a few years ago; we had to put her down and she died in my arms. One of the saddest things I've ever been through, but in time a peace in knowing that you had so many good years together grows within you and it slowly becomes more okay with each day that passes. I miss my dog and it still hurts sometimes, but I wouldn't have wanted to keep her here if she was in pain. 

[Magdalene]

on December 1st my parents took my dog to the vet, she was 8 so not old but not too young, and found out she had 3 tumors on her spleen which had been growing since October and were inoperable. They said she could be normal for a week but on the 3rd I came home to spend time with her and she wagged her tail one more time, and then laid down and couldn’t get up. She was put down later that day, and I still don’t really know how to go on. She was so normal one day, and not even two days later gone. I don’t think I’ll ever have the bond with any other dog that I had with her. We kinda just got eachother. It hurts so much going home and seeing her favorite places empty, and I still can’t really wrap my head that I’ll never see her in person again, so I feel op so much.

 

 

happy 2023 and here’s to healing 

[aesthetic bih]

Sorry for your loss

 

I'd like to think they are in a better place now. 

[#Beautiful]

im so sorry youre going through this but please remember and always keep in mind: you mean the world to your pet and you being there for them during these difficult times is everything to them

[The Next Day]

All my childhood pets passed away in the span of 3 years except for my first dog. I lost my first dog when I was around 9, I was on vacation and couldn't say goodbye, that hurt still stays with me. But as a kid you're very intuitive with grief, it felt natural to go through the stages.

 

Now I'm in my 20s and losing these three pets was different each time. I haven't lived with them for years, but I frequently saw them when I visited home. The first cat was very sick for a long time and I just knew in the moment that I saw her for the last time. I wasn't there when she passed away, but it felt like closure to me, which is comforting. Same with my dog, she was sick and it went very quickly. I said goodbye to them when I felt it was time, even if they passed away weeks later.

 

The second cat was very different. I loved that cat like I loved my first dog I lost at nine. It was such an important link to my childhood. My cat had a stroke one night and was dead immediately. It was horrible, because I saw him before I went to sleep and hours later he was just gone. My mother was in tears and I was in total shock (this was a year after the first cat died, my mother had both cats for like 15 years). I was just speechless. Next morning I was alone, I was barely awake and I saw that my mother had taken away the cat's bowls. Something in me clicked, like it was at that moment I realized he was gone forever. I sat on the couch, my clothes for the day in one hand and cried for a good half an hour.

 

Wanting to cry is terrible, but crying is one of the best feelings in the world. If you really let yourself go and don't hold back a single tear, my god, it's like taking the first breath after being suffocated. So I guess my advice would be to take the time to grieve. Your pet is a family member, no one can tell you otherwise. You're going through the process, so you're deciding what you need in this time. If you want to cry, cry hard. If you're angry, find a safe outlet. But be gentle to yourself. If the moment comes when you feel like your head is a bit lighter again, embrace that and don't hold on to the hurt that's causing you to be angry or sad. There will be a moment where you will know that you can let go, you have to follow your intution and not be scared of it. A lot of people miss that timeframe, they refuse to let go when their body tells them to and that causes so much more hurt.

 

And finally, when my second dog died, she lived with my grandparents and they treated her like their baby. When she passed away I told my grandmom, you know, seeing your loved one everyday becomes a routine. Suddenly, they're gone and there's this huge gap in your heart, but also in the way you live. It's like moving to a new city: you have to start over. I moved three times in my life so far, and everytime it felt scary and lonely at first. You're losing your home and now you're somewhere new. It feels a bit alienated. But you get used to it, you fill your new home with memories and one day you get the warm feeling when you're coming "home".

I think grieving is similiar in some aspects. You need to take each day to live in the new reality and keep on living. Day by day, your brain will get used to the new routine. The new reality without your loved one will lose a lot of its scariness the longer you live in it. The gap will always be there, but one day you're strong enough to fill it with new life and leave a smaller part that contains the love you have for your loved one.

Edited January 1, 2023 by The Next Day

[Glamthony]

I lost my two dogs two years ago and im still in pain and even cry a little when i think of them, now i have 4 gorgeous dogs, and they fill me with love and joy, now i feel like i will be kinda ready to let them go when the time comes.

[MusicLoverDude]

When I was 19, we adopted two chocolate labrador puppies. I loved them and they were my best friends through the majority of my 20s. They were named Buster and Bailey. Buster lived to be 7, before a spindle cell tumor developed in his head and was pressing on his sinuses and brain. We had to put him down so that he wouldn't suffer anymore. I cried over him because he was always happy to see me when I came home from somewhere and loved going on walks and loved being with me. I was able to say goodbye to him thankfully

 

Bailey essentially took over what Buster did after he passed. She lived to be 9 before we put her down this year for similar reasons, this time a tumor on her side that was pressing on her lungs. I had to call out of work for a few hours to put her down at a place that took us last minute during the Thanksgiving holiday week. I cried in the car but I got to say goodbye and hug her and I told her I loved her. 

 

In both instances, while I was upset that they were gone, I was relieved that they were out of pain. I will always miss them and remember them, but my love for animals will still show up in other ways. I'm not at a place in my life where I can take care of another dog, but I've adopted a stray cat that I love. 

 

you will be ok but make sure you take the time to grieve and talk to anyone you trust if you need to.

[Buffy]

5 hours ago, mercurialworld said:

We were given a cream, but it’s so invasive to use. We’ve been trying to use it on her but it’s like she knows when it’s time for us to apply it and she hides  she knows what’s happening

 

Also, thank you guys so much for the kind and reassuring messages  I can’t believe I already broke down and she’s still here with me lol. I’ll post a picture of her once I’m back home in the new year 

Try switching to the pill! The prescription is called Methimazole (treats hyperthyroidism). It costs less than $40 for like 1-2 months worth. And it is easier to give to your cat because you can hide the tablets in the wet food.

[FOCK]

I’m very sorry for what you’re going through.
 

I work at a Vet Clinic & am faced with these emotionally charged & difficult situations all the time, including recently on Xmas eve & the final day of the year. Nothing that can be said can totally ease the pain and emotional turmoil of the experience of seeing a loved one wither away, but if it’s any consolation, the reassurance I always give is your pet was loved. 
 

16 years is an in impressive, long time for a cat to live & both you are so lucky to have been fated & provided each other company, love, respect & solace for that amount of time. Unfortunately, pets are angels on this Earth that are with us for a chapter they help write & eventually, need to be let go. Their memory, impact & our experiences shared live on, even though they’re no longer physically present. 
 

Euthanasia is a hard decision, but I assure you, from some of the situations I’ve seen, that it is the right and humane one, when a pet is suffering. Cats in particular as they age, can face several health complications that impact their quality of life & even something as simple as a common UTI can rapidly progress overnight & be incredibly painful & often aren’t noticed until too late & a situation like that can be really confronting to witness. You would be doing the right thing and honouring your kitty the way it deserves, by providing her the grace for a calm, peaceful & pain free eternal rest. 
 

Take the time you need & shower her with love. Go easy on yourself & the fact that you’re providing her with a pain-free final moment, surrounded by those who love her & not hiding away in any agony.

 

Its sometimes pricier & not always an option, but explore the option of euthanising at home via a vet visit, so it’s less stressful & also, look into beautiful ways to preserve her memory so she will always be near, like a pendant with her ashes or a clay paw imprint you can smile at every time. 
 

It sounds like you’ve given her her best possible life with you & that’s all that a kitty could ask for. Take pride in that fact, lovely. 

Edited January 1, 2023 by FOCK

[mercurialworld]

6 hours ago, FOCK said:

It sounds like you’ve given her her best possible life with you & that’s all that a kitty could ask for. Take pride in that fact, lovely. 

I think this is what it boils down to. Thank you everyone  as promised, here's a lil pic of her from 2019

[Kamil24]

Maybe it isn't time to put the cat down yet?

 

My cat is 15 and a half, a year ago something was wrong and had to make multiple vet emergency trips, and she was diagnosed with liver disease initially. Took some meds that made no difference - was then diagnosed with hyperthyroidism instead. So for almost a year now she's been taking meds for that (felimazole), and honestly seems to be doing fine. She's old so sleeps a lot more, can't jump up very high, and has lost her hearing. However she still eats normally, runs around sometimes, grooms herself (though can't reach all spots like she used to).

 

I don't know if there are other signs your cat is not doing well, but the diagnosis alone isn't a death sentence - they can live several years on treatment.

[A.R.L]

I would never ever want to put down my family pet in any circumstance, and would do my best to find alternative solutions until they cross the rainbow bridge peacefully as they wish.. I can't even imagine the situation.. Recently, I just spayed one of my dogs and was worried about every second of it until she woke up, let alone going through ur difficult experience, I feel for you 

 

My advice is try to get more than one pet if you can afford them, they can also look the same so that when one sadly crosses the rainbow bridge, you will share the pain with the rest even when one doesn't replace the other or make u forget the other as they each have their own personality, but I think the pain will be somehow less. 

 

 

Edited January 2, 2023 by A.R.L