discussion At what age is it wierd to date a 18 Year Old?

[Romantica]

What even

I'd say 30+

[305]

By like 21

If you're over that and still wanting to seriously date an 18 year old it's already unbalanced

if you're 25+ it's concerning

and if you're over 30 you're a borderline pedophile

[305]

On 12/11/2022 at 7:01 PM, Armani? said:

22 & 18 is wierd?

yes.

[Thinking Of You]

On 12/15/2022 at 1:43 PM, Distantconstellation said:

A lot of you are stuck in the 90s way of thinking. A lot of 20-something don't have a career these day, hell most 30-somethings don't either so as usual atrl is wrong. Atrl thinks everyone goes to college and has a six figure paying job by 30 years old. Ya'll are delusional af.

The projection in this post is very loud. 

[Miss Show Business]

2 hours ago, 305 said:

By like 21

If you're over that and still wanting to seriously date an 18 year old it's already unbalanced

if you're 25+ it's concerning

and if you're over 30 you're a borderline pedophile

I'm sorry, I cannot with the ridiculousness here 

 

Why can't y'all just tend to your OWN affairs? If an older person wants to date an 18 year old and has NO form of power of influence over them that would make it inappropriate, then who TF cares?

 

I could never imagine what it's like to constantly try and morally police what two consenting ADULTS do. It's WEIRD. 

Edited December 18, 2022 by Miss Show Business

[brooklyndaddy]

Some of y’all have trauma to unpack. Anything above 22 dating 18 gets the side eye from me. The difference in maturity is major. Leave it to gay men to have the worst opinions on this ? we need to stop normalizing predatory relationship structures in our community. 

[Johnny Jacobs]

Older than 22 i guess. 

[rebeltwat]

22

[brooklyndaddy]

2 hours ago, Miss Show Business said:

I'm sorry, I cannot with the ridiculousness here 

 

Why can't y'all just tend to your OWN affairs? If an older person wants to date an 18 year old and has NO form of power of influence over them that would make it inappropriate, then who TF cares?

 

I could never imagine what it's like to constantly try and morally police what two consenting ADULTS do. It's WEIRD. 

Just a thought for you to consider: maybe some of us care about the long term healthy mental development of barely legal people in our community? I’m sorry but there is something wrong with anybody at a big age like 25+ desiring to date an 18 year old. 

[Into The Void]

On 12/12/2022 at 3:39 PM, John Slayne said:

it depends on the situation but generally over 22 is potentially unsafe for the teenager. 18yo really are children in many ways but most importantly they are inexperienced, still not make their own money and have less access to resources and support. 

 

think of this way - an 18 year old has just finished high school, they've had like 1 serious relationship at most if even that, they're probably broke and/or going to uni

 

a person in their mid-20s is probably out of school, have started their career, and are in general more confident in who they are and more established. plus they can probably navigate dating life a lot better because they have years of experience

 

the levels of maturity are simply not the same, and that creates a potentially toxic power imbalance in the relationship. as a teenager i was always into older men but never dated one even though i wanted to, but looking back i'm glad i didn't. i thought i was sooo mature but in retrospect i know i wasn't ready to date, especially not grown men.

I don't know about you but this isn't all that true. At 25 I was still lost in life

 

[Miss Show Business]

1 hour ago, brooklyndaddy said:

Just a thought for you to consider: maybe some of us care about the long term healthy mental development of barely legal people in our community? I’m sorry but there is something wrong with anybody at a big age like 25+ desiring to date an 18 year old. 

Then all you should care about is that it's consensual. Please tell me what exactly would impact someone's development by dating someone older than them? If they are both adults and both consenting to it, and the older person is not an authority figure or person with power that they can use to manipulate the younger person, then what harm is it doing? And why can't a healthy person be just as harmed by someone their own age range? I'm failing to see the logic in this. Age alone is not going to impact someone's mental health or development... Having healthy relationships will. Just because there is an age gap in a relationship doesn't automatically make it unhealthy. Plenty of adults in relationships have age gaps and are just fine. Like I said, as long as both parties consent and are equals in terms of power, money, influence, etc, then why does it matter at all? I for one do not spend my time preoccupied by what consenting adults do. None of my business!

[iconicyayo]

why are americans so obsessive / weird about age  

 

i started university at age 21. most of my peers / friends are 18-20 now while im now 22 and there’s not even an inclination of difference since we are all on the same

 boat, on the same level. i’m not dating any of them and have no desire to, but if i did, and they happened to be 18/19, that would be predatory according to some?  lord  

[iconicyayo]

On 12/15/2022 at 6:43 PM, Distantconstellation said:

A lot of you are stuck in the 90s way of thinking. A lot of 20-something don't have a career these day, hell most 30-somethings don't either so as usual atrl is wrong. Atrl thinks everyone goes to college and has a six figure paying job by 30 years old. Ya'll are delusional af.

this. the difference between late teens and 20’s is getting smaller and smaller. especially since people are chronically online. people need to get a grip  

[Hitchhiker]

Anything after 21-22 is pushing it 

[La Reina]

Anyone 18+ is legally an adult. The only "weird" part about it is that people are in different stages in life. I fail to see how two legal adults dating is predatory unless they're being taken advantage of financially or coerced into doing things that they don't want to.

[Communion]

On 12/11/2022 at 8:34 PM, Rotunda said:

Generally speaking I think dating in your college cohort is fair game, but seniors who have a habit of going after freshmen should be viewed with suspicion. 

I think this is largely correct and offers the reasoning for why that I think a lot of discourse ends up missing out on (and thus how it sometimes walks itself into a corner of people calling 18 year olds who date people one year younger pedophiles because they see how the language is used but don't actually get the purpose of the words and end up just making it up along the way).

 

Much of the sociological and psychological issues with age dynamics are not some mathematic formula. Most are simply just easily observable due to being at odds with how society is structured. A relationship between two people of ages who won't societally be cohorts will draw eyes while those who have reasons to interact won't. 

 

It also explains power dynamics outside of age work. A boss dating an employee under them is questionable because a boss and their rank and file employee are not natural cohorts or peers. There is an imbalanced power dynamic. 

[Distantconstellation]

2 hours ago, brooklyndaddy said:

Just a thought for you to consider: maybe some of us care about the long term healthy mental development of barely legal people in our community? I’m sorry but there is something wrong with anybody at a big age like 25+ desiring to date an 18 year old. 

at 25 I was making lots of money from social media but was still lost in life, so again don't speak for everyone. There is no such thing as barely legal, you either are legal or not. 

[JoshSpears1805]

its always allowed

 

the age of consent is 16 , therefore anything above this is fine 

 

16 and 25 , 18 and 25 , 16 and 60 , 18 and 60 , its all LEGAL and fine 

 

age is just a number 

 

I am 24 and my dating range is 17-23 

Edited December 18, 2022 by JoshSpears1805

[#Beautiful]

On 12/15/2022 at 2:36 PM, coolblue said:

honestly fuvk the looney liberals and their propaganda... An 18 yr old is a legal age so anyone from 18 to 100 can date an 18 yr old. 

this comment coming from the same people screaming murder when churches ******* minors are involved ladies and gentlemen 

[#Beautiful]

8 hours ago, brooklyndaddy said:

Some of y’all have trauma to unpack. Anything above 22 dating 18 gets the side eye from me. The difference in maturity is major. Leave it to gay men to have the worst opinions on this ? we need to stop normalizing predatory relationship structures in our community. 

makes you think about the things they're trying to justify in their head doesn't it

[DemDam92]

I would say 30 and above lol

I feel like in Europe 18 & 29 is nothing unusual, in US it’s probably a bigger topic.

[John Slayne]

9 hours ago, Insanity said:

I don't know about you but this isn't all that true. At 25 I was still lost in life

 

that's why I said in general 

 

i never said it applies to every individual, but many people do have degrees, careers, and some even start having children at that age. not at all comparable to teenagers, completely different levels of experience and stages in life in my opinion

[ConceptD]

Outside of the age thing because some 18-20 year olds are maturer than others and if you’re in your 20s then I don’t see how that is pedophilia at all and I feel like it’s gross to even claim that because it downplays the seriousness of that atrocity, but these are entirely different age ranges for mental awareness. I’ve tried age gap relationships myself in the past and they don’t work at all either way because life is not the same for an 18 year old as it is for a 29 year old. I was usually the younger person in the relationships and the dynamics were off for whatever reason. 
 

I really would recommend dating within like a 5 year age difference (unless you’re like 20 and they’re 15 because that’s a child/adult situation) because then you will be a bit more in tune with one another and at the same general point in life - someone who is 20 dating someone who is 30 isn’t exactly wrong but you’re gonna have issues in most cases because a lot of 20 year olds aren’t grown up enough and anyone who is 30 and still hanging around with 20 year olds is obviously stunted emotionally. 

[hallucinate]

21.

[ConceptD]

10 hours ago, La Reina said:

Anyone 18+ is legally an adult. The only "weird" part about it is that people are in different stages in life. I fail to see how two legal adults dating is predatory unless they're being taken advantage of financially or coerced into doing things that they don't want to.

Yeah this is how I view it. It’s more than likely not going to work emotionally, but I don’t know how people can do mental gymnastics and call it pedophilia when there are actual pedophiles out there grooming actual children.