Tropez Posted November 15, 2022 Posted November 15, 2022 The idea that your sexual orientation is fluid seems to be something so many gay men can’t agree with. Why is that? No one is hardly strictly gay, and you can change your orientation.
The Next Day Posted November 15, 2022 Posted November 15, 2022 (edited) I'm not too educated about that subject, but I don't have a problem with exploring your own identity. It's not set in stone, that's fine. I don't like the misconception that people can "switch" between identities by choice (at least I haven't heard of that happening), unfortunately a lot of times that's what's being promoted in certain circles of the public. As a gay man I would feel offended if somebody would say "If sexuality is fluid then just change to being straight". I think a lot of people fear that a misconception like this could be used against LGBTQ+ people, but that's a problem of educating everyone better, not the topic fluidity itself. Edited November 15, 2022 by The Next Day
Subzero Posted November 15, 2022 Posted November 15, 2022 (edited) Idk, could be the last line of what you wrote is exactly why... just maybe you can change your orientation Homophobes have been saying this forever and this is why conversion therapy even exists, because of anyone who thinks this believes we can just change our bodies and minds natural sexual response. It's just a repackaged form of "you haven't met the right girl yet". Being gay is frowned upon and deemed 'unnatural' by many people, so I don't see why we'd 'choose' a life of hatred and abuse over easy and hetero a.k.a the acceptable if we could. Saying everyone's sexuality is fluid promotes the idea we can just switch it off. Besides, I find it highly offensive to think we can all just turn it on or off or even move within a "spectrum" considering so many of us have tried so hard to and wind up committing suicide because of it. Kinda spitting in the faces of all those gay people who took their lives if you ask me. You and others sexuality might be fluid and that's awesome, kudos to you guys, that should 100% be celebrated. But mine is not, no matter how much it's constantly mantrad in my ear that it is. I don't see why it's so difficult to respect that and realize not everyones experience is the same. You know, appreciate and celebrate everyone's differences like we're supposed to do. We should be lifting each other up via our differences and unique experiences instead of the "you're not valid but I am" mentality but it seems to be a very difficult task for many of the "we're all sexually fluid" crowd in the "all loving and accepting lgbt+ community" Edited November 15, 2022 by Subzero
Khal Posted November 15, 2022 Posted November 15, 2022 50 minutes ago, Tropez said: No one is hardly strictly gay Source to back up this claim?
Tropez Posted November 15, 2022 Author Posted November 15, 2022 17 minutes ago, Khal said: Source to back up this claim? Yes. In fact there’s many. One of the most notable is the Kinsey Scale. Here are further sources for reading https://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/features/psp-pspp0000077.pdf https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-021-94479-9.pdf https://psych.utah.edu/_resources/documents/people/diamond/Sexual Fluidity in Males and Females.pdf It was noted that gay and straight men were more likely to repress their arousal to genders against their sexual attraction. Women are much more open with sexual attraction less so with lesbians however.
Khal Posted November 15, 2022 Posted November 15, 2022 6 minutes ago, Tropez said: Yes. In fact there’s many. One of the most notable is the Kinsey Scale. Here are further sources for reading https://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/features/psp-pspp0000077.pdf https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-021-94479-9.pdf https://psych.utah.edu/_resources/documents/people/diamond/Sexual Fluidity in Males and Females.pdf It was noted that gay and straight men were more likely to repress their arousal to genders against their sexual attraction. Women are much more open with sexual attraction less so with lesbians however. The existence of a 1 & 6 on the Kinsey scale which you mention already debunks your claim that "no one is strictly gay" though? Otherwise how did Kinsey arrive at exclusively heterosexual/homosexual on his scale? The Kinsey scale shows that sexuality can be fluid to differing levels, including people who swing exclusively one way or another and people who are in between, it does not deny the existence of the former? And sure those people might be outnumbered by people in between, it doesn't mean no one is strictly gay as you say. Quote https://psych.utah.edu/_resources/documents/people/diamond/Sexual Fluidity in Males and Females.pdf One table in this article literally shows exclusive same sex attraction and the other table shows in men, less than 50% of reported changes to this behaviour. I'm not arguing that people can't be fluid, I'm picking on the "no one" is strictly gay part, which doesn't seem to be true.
Tropez Posted November 15, 2022 Author Posted November 15, 2022 22 minutes ago, Khal said: The existence of a 1 & 6 on the Kinsey scale which you mention already debunks your claim that "no one is strictly gay" though? Otherwise how did Kinsey arrive at exclusively heterosexual/homosexual on his scale? The Kinsey scale shows that sexuality can be fluid to differing levels, including people who swing exclusively one way or another and people who are in between, it does not deny the existence of the former? And sure those people might be outnumbered by people in between, it doesn't mean no one is strictly gay as you say. One table in this article literally shows exclusive same sex attraction and the other table shows in men, less than 50% of reported changes to this behaviour. I'm not arguing that people can't be fluid, I'm picking on the "no one" is strictly gay part, which doesn't seem to be true. I think the correct term is less common or more rare. I shouldn’t have used an absolute. Mistake on my end. Point being that being strictly gay or straight is not as common. Humans are far more complex than that to demote their sexuality to black and white. As the studies do show, regardless of gender and sexuality people have a tendency to deviate from what they consider themselves to be.
Bosque Posted November 15, 2022 Posted November 15, 2022 They have obtained some level of societal acceptance by prescribing to heternormative standards, and they don't wanna give that up by deviating from that norm.
JoeAg Posted November 15, 2022 Posted November 15, 2022 cause honestly? gays can be just as close-minded as any straight people. they don't understand it, so they think it's f*cking cute and reasonable to shame it anyway, as a bisexual who has an element of sexual fluidity lemme just say to gays who don't understand it: butt the f*ck out, thanks!
Pop Life Posted November 16, 2022 Posted November 16, 2022 (edited) Because for some, homosexuality was such a seismic shift for them that they just barely come around to their own gayness. They don't have the mental bandwidth to wrap their heads around sexuality as a fluid spectrum, or the idea that other people experience it differently. Edited November 16, 2022 by Pop Life
RunUpDoneUp Posted November 16, 2022 Posted November 16, 2022 What I've seen is less anti-sexual fluidity and more anti-highbrow snobbery. As in, people acting like sensuality is closer to air than it is to actual real life examples. No one is going through your "I'm not this" when all you've dated is "girls" or "boys." The impressions I see is people not caring for fluff when the shorthand gets the blow. Tldr; gay/bi/straight/queer for where you're at over any lengthy explanation.
zasderfght Posted November 16, 2022 Posted November 16, 2022 19 hours ago, Dephira said: They have obtained some level of societal acceptance by prescribing to heternormative standards, and they don't wanna give that up by deviating from that norm. Bingo. This is why.
Mitsouko Posted November 16, 2022 Posted November 16, 2022 Gay people are strictly gay. Straight people are strictly straight. Bisexual people are strictly bisexual. That is…what those words mean.
Cheers Posted November 19, 2022 Posted November 19, 2022 you can change your orientation This is why. Our community has fought for years to defend that this isn't just a "lifestyle choice" that this is who we are. And now people want to say you can change your sexuality? Please .
Bloodflowers. Posted November 20, 2022 Posted November 20, 2022 This is what gays tell themselves in hopes a straight man would want to be open enough to have sex with them
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