foreverwinter13 Posted October 27, 2022 Share Posted October 27, 2022 I am Bi but I prefer guys and also Diagnosed with Anxiety Disorder I'm seeing guys secretly. I envy people who is out to their friends and family and they can do whatever they want they can love whomever they want without being secretive. I have always dream of having a partner male partner, the freedom of just loving and doing what you want. But I am so scared of being judge, I dont think I cant handle the stress of people talking about me. What should I do? Should I just stay on the closet? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*-ChriZ-* Posted October 27, 2022 Share Posted October 27, 2022 First and foremost: U are the one who decides when u are ready. Theres no timeframe for that and u owe nobody an explanation for who u are. Also always consider that the only person ur living ur life for is urself. At the end of the day, u have to wake up for yourself and u have to live with urself. That being said, when u feel like its starting to get to u and impact u negatively (the hiding), then ur body is basically already telling u that coming out one step at a time might be a good idea, tho I dont know where ur from and what ur situation is. I know in certain places in the world, coming out is a much bigger and even dangerous thing. How old are u if I may ask? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bey Admired Posted October 27, 2022 Share Posted October 27, 2022 I’m bi too and I have always took the approach that if someone asks me about my sexuality, I’d tell them. But I’ve never once announced my sexuality to anyone. Not because I’m ashamed, but because I’ve never seen it as a big deal. Luckily, my family are mostly supportive and could not care less about my sexuality. But I understand that I am privileged in that respect because a lot of people do not have it so lucky. If you feel you’d be in danger if you came out, then I would suggest you don’t say anything. Continue to see who you want to see and be proud of who you are, but wait until you are out of imminent danger before announcing it. If you’re merely scared of judgement, then please understand that you have nothing to be ashamed of. Being bi is totally normal and natural. If someone is judging you (they’re probably not) then that is because they’re probably insecure about something within themselves. If you’re in no danger, then embrace who you are and free yourself of that internal judgement immediately. Don’t carry it around with you for one second longer. You are who you are and from this moment on you will accept that wholeheartedly and be your 100% authentic self. Think about it, there’s only one you. You deserve to give yourself the best possible chance of having the best life ever, and you won’t have that if you don’t live as your authentic self. You will always be running away from the truth. Don’t you dare put that burden on yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foreverwinter13 Posted October 27, 2022 Author Share Posted October 27, 2022 30 minutes ago, *-ChriZ-* said: First and foremost: U are the one who decides when u are ready. Theres no timeframe for that and u owe nobody an explanation for who u are. Also always consider that the only person ur living ur life for is urself. At the end of the day, u have to wake up for yourself and u have to live with urself. That being said, when u feel like its starting to get to u and impact u negatively (the hiding), then ur body is basically already telling u that coming out one step at a time might be a good idea, tho I dont know where ur from and what ur situation is. I know in certain places in the world, coming out is a much bigger and even dangerous thing. How old are u if I may ask? I'm now 25. My country is accepting abour being Gay but also still use the word Gay to insult someone so I dont know Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foreverwinter13 Posted October 27, 2022 Author Share Posted October 27, 2022 24 minutes ago, Bey Admired said: I’m bi too and I have always took the approach that if someone asks me about my sexuality, I’d tell them. But I’ve never once announced my sexuality to anyone. Not because I’m ashamed, but because I’ve never seen it as a big deal. Luckily, my family are mostly supportive and could not care less about my sexuality. But I understand that I am privileged in that respect because a lot of people do not have it so lucky. If you feel you’d be in danger if you came out, then I would suggest you don’t say anything. Continue to see who you want to see and be proud of who you are, but wait until you are out of imminent danger before announcing it. If you’re merely scared of judgement, then please understand that you have nothing to be ashamed of. Being bi is totally normal and natural. If someone is judging you (they’re probably not) then that is because they’re probably insecure about something within themselves. If you’re in no danger, then embrace who you are and free yourself of that internal judgement immediately. Don’t carry it around with you for one second longer. You are who you are and from this moment on you will accept that wholeheartedly and be your 100% authentic self. Think about it, there’s only one you. You deserve to give yourself the best possible chance of having the best life ever, and you won’t have that if you don’t live as your authentic self. You will always be running away from the truth. Don’t you dare put that burden on yourself. Thank you for these words it encourages me. I'm not physically in danger but being here in my country they still use the word Gay to insult someone. I guess my family and friends know it but we dont talk about it. But i will feel the need to tell them once I start being very serious about the one im seeing. Thank you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FightForTanas Posted October 27, 2022 Share Posted October 27, 2022 It depends on your situation. Your safety is the most important. If safety isnt an issue than it depends on how much its hurting your mental state. What I mean is are you getting a lot of anxiety by being in the closet? Sometimes its a lot easier just to come out than keep it all in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConceptD Posted October 27, 2022 Share Posted October 27, 2022 You probably will have to eventually, because I’m sure you’ll want to live a life that’s more than just a secret that you hide from people. But go at your own pace and never let anybody tell you when is the right time for you to come out and if you aren’t ready, don’t feel bad about it. It’s a big thing and I wish you well Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foreverwinter13 Posted October 27, 2022 Author Share Posted October 27, 2022 56 minutes ago, FightForTanas said: It depends on your situation. Your safety is the most important. If safety isnt an issue than it depends on how much its hurting your mental state. What I mean is are you getting a lot of anxiety by being in the closet? Sometimes its a lot easier just to come out than keep it all in. Not at all. It just sometimes I see a lovely couple on ig and wish I can do that too but I cant coz im still hiding Im just afraid of all the judgement that I will face coz people in my country is so judgemental Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foreverwinter13 Posted October 27, 2022 Author Share Posted October 27, 2022 8 minutes ago, ConceptD said: You probably will have to eventually, because I’m sure you’ll want to live a life that’s more than just a secret that you hide from people. But go at your own pace and never let anybody tell you when is the right time for you to come out and if you aren’t ready, don’t feel bad about it. It’s a big thing and I wish you well Thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FightForTanas Posted October 27, 2022 Share Posted October 27, 2022 5 minutes ago, foreverwinter13 said: Not at all. It just sometimes I see a lovely couple on ig and wish I can do that too but I cant coz im still hiding Im just afraid of all the judgement that I will face coz people in my country is so judgemental Okay so ill just say this, a lot of guys who are out dont really want to date people who are in the closet. Its uncomfortable for them so you might be missing a really good guy if they find out you are still in the closet. I would say at least come out to the people closest to you. Also it will make it a LOT less awkward if you ever introduce them to a guy if they already know you are gay. Thats just my opinion though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bloodflowers. Posted October 27, 2022 Share Posted October 27, 2022 You're as colorful as a rainbow You're as bright as the moon Everyone can see your halo Everybody but you Go and show 'em all your rainbow You'll feel better when you do Come on out when the rain goes 'Cause this world's gonna love you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foreverwinter13 Posted October 27, 2022 Author Share Posted October 27, 2022 Just now, FightForTanas said: Okay so ill just say this, a lot of guys who are out dont really want to date people who are in the closet. Its uncomfortable for them so you might be missing a really good guy if they find out you are still in the closet. I would say at least come out to the people closest to you. Also it will make it a LOT less awkward if you ever introduce them to a guy if they already know you are gay. Thats just my opinion though. Yeah that's what I want actually. Hope I will have the courage on the coming days. Thank you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foreverwinter13 Posted October 27, 2022 Author Share Posted October 27, 2022 1 minute ago, Bloodflowers. said: You're as colorful as a rainbow You're as bright as the moon Everyone can see your halo Everybody but you Go and show 'em all your rainbow You'll feel better when you do Come on out when the rain goes 'Cause this world's gonna love you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Slayne Posted October 27, 2022 Share Posted October 27, 2022 There's nothing better in the world than truly freeing yourself from the shackles of other people's opinions. Even if it might hurt and some people might drop you and reject you for who you are, it's all worth it in the end. Love yourself and stand in your truth. Life is short and our time on this planet is limited, don't waste it hiding in shame. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IBeMe Posted October 27, 2022 Share Posted October 27, 2022 (edited) If you think your life could be in danger than do not do it BUT if there is no legit threat to your life than do it if it gives you so much stress. Life is easier when you are out and about because there is no need to hide things anymore and hiding things can create so much anxiety and depression in the long run. Life is so short. That said there are also ppl who feel no need to come out ever. Like I have a gay friend who is very clearly gay, dates guys etc but he just does not think he needs to come out to his family because he says sexuality is private in his opinion. His family kind of know I think but they also do not ask from what he says and so they are in this weird middle ground. I personally came out a couple years ago and did not notice too much of a difference because I'm rather young and I still just mostly date short term and have a few hook ups here and there but once I want something more long term and serious I can totally see how not coming out would impede on that so I'm glad I did. My mom isn't really accepting and she tries to convince herself every few months that I did not come out but like...she has to get over it eventually LOL Edited October 27, 2022 by IBeMe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadonnasBoyfriend Posted October 27, 2022 Share Posted October 27, 2022 (edited) Bite the bullet. You'll feel better after. You are the ceo of your life you can hire fire promote demote whoever you want so if anyone gives you any **** about it demote and fire them as needed lol. They won't treat you as different as you think they will either. Let them judge you and you judge them based on their judgments of you Edited October 27, 2022 by MadonnasBoyfriend Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghiles Posted October 27, 2022 Share Posted October 27, 2022 You should probably get your anxiety under control first, that will make the coming out process less difficult, especially if the outcome is not positive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ichabe Posted October 27, 2022 Share Posted October 27, 2022 Anyway where are you come from? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BloodLuster Posted October 27, 2022 Share Posted October 27, 2022 do it performing a ME! + You Need To Calm Down medley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UnusualBoy Posted October 27, 2022 Share Posted October 27, 2022 You don't need to feel forced to come out, do your things, have a bf if you want and if they ask you then just say, I'm bi and that's it. People will always have something to say about everybody, you're too short, too tall, too fat, that don't dress doesn't fit you, that hair is awful, etc. You need to loosen up and life your life without caring about what others may say or think because if you live to please others and adjust to their standards, you will be anything but happy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theshigo Washidu Posted October 27, 2022 Share Posted October 27, 2022 How old are you? If you're grown and legal, you must muster up the courage to live your truth. Ideally, you don't have to come out to anyone except people close to you who you trust. If people around you won't accept you for who you are, cut them off. It will hurt, but you will be happier in the long run. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theshigo Washidu Posted October 27, 2022 Share Posted October 27, 2022 14 hours ago, Bey Admired said: I’m bi too and I have always took the approach that if someone asks me about my sexuality, I’d tell them. But I’ve never once announced my sexuality to anyone. Not because I’m ashamed, but because I’ve never seen it as a big deal. I'm the exact same tbh. We don't owe anyone an explanation or to seek approval for them for who we prefer to love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trent W Posted October 27, 2022 Share Posted October 27, 2022 I personally hate the idea of coming out and having to justify myself to society. Especially being bi when not even gays can understand. Do whatever you feel like and be yourself, you don’t have to explain anything to anyone. Most people don’t care and live in their own world worried about themselves. Even if you decide to come out people will be over it in a few min, is not something shocking now. Be safe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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