naval23 Posted October 27, 2022 Share Posted October 27, 2022 I have a friend who is amazing - I can laugh with them for hours and have really deep conversations. I90% of the friendship is good vibes and 10% is brutally honest comments that can be unintentionally rude that make me feel some type of way but I do brush it off because it happens so rarely. No one is perfect and everyone's personality is different, but interested if other people have similar experiences (or are the friend who's brutally honest lol) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applestar Posted October 27, 2022 Share Posted October 27, 2022 I've dealt with honest people who have given harsh comments to me before, so I feel like I can put my two cents here. I'm not sure what the brutally honest comments you've received are, but if it were me, I'd make sure that the comments are: helpful coming from a good place (it isn't just them secretly ranting about their own life and pushing it out on you to make you feel bad, person isn't jealous, resentful, etc.) This doesn't mean the comments have to sound sweet or anything like that; just that whatever harsh-sounding criticism you get is from a place of love and respect. Otherwise, that person is less of a friend and more of a critic (which isn't bad all the time, but it sounds like you want an actual friend) I'd also make sure that it's a two way street, like if they can give harsh criticism to me, I can do it right back to them and they won't get upset. (Also, I feel like this is a good test to see if the "brutal honesty" is coming from a good place) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Venice B Posted October 27, 2022 Share Posted October 27, 2022 I mean, how old are you guys? When I was younger I used to be that friend who would give a truly brutally honest opinion even if people didn't ask, but as time went by I learned to not be that honest unless people ask for my opinion. And since my family and most of my close friends know that about me they come to me when they really want to hear a honest opinion, even if it's something they don't really want to hear. But yeah, going around giving your unwanted opinion and being rude it's not nice and if that's bothering you you should def talk to them, there's always room to grow and learn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mitsouko Posted October 27, 2022 Share Posted October 27, 2022 Everyone needs a someone to make them laugh like that and someone to be honest with them. I think you're lucky you have that in the same person. You definitely need to tell them when your feelings are hurt though. As you said it may be unintentional but it should never be rude, they can work on their delivery. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Into The Void Posted October 27, 2022 Share Posted October 27, 2022 I would tell them to f off Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alldeezy Posted October 27, 2022 Share Posted October 27, 2022 sounds like my old friend, but found out she wasn't I mean she blocked me because I wouldn't drive her lazy ass around. but used to be say it how it is and ended up being arguments! my latest ex (we are better as just mates) is a little honest but his not a c*nt about it but I rather know what they thinking then them going behind my back and talking s*it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FightForTanas Posted October 27, 2022 Share Posted October 27, 2022 Disown them. I need my friends to lie to me and make me feel better. We need to be able to ignore our own problems and make fun of OTHER people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raphy23 Posted October 27, 2022 Share Posted October 27, 2022 Sounds like the best type of friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GentleEarthquake Posted October 27, 2022 Share Posted October 27, 2022 A friend who will lie to you and make you believe things that simply are not true it's much worse Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pierreleswiftie Posted October 27, 2022 Share Posted October 27, 2022 Just get a sense of their flaws and cracks. Once you get a full picture of him and see that they are not perfect, you realise that they are harmless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
#Beautiful Posted October 27, 2022 Share Posted October 27, 2022 "brutally honest people" are emotionally immature and you should find a better friend, you deserve it. no amount of % good percentage can justify the trash behavior. respect yourself. its not worth stepping on your own self worth over a FRIENDSHIP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 27, 2022 Share Posted October 27, 2022 2 hours ago, applestar said: I've dealt with honest people who have given harsh comments to me before, so I feel like I can put my two cents here. I'm not sure what the brutally honest comments you've received are, but if it were me, I'd make sure that the comments are: helpful coming from a good place (it isn't just them secretly ranting about their own life and pushing it out on you to make you feel bad, person isn't jealous, resentful, etc.) This doesn't mean the comments have to sound sweet or anything like that; just that whatever harsh-sounding criticism you get is from a place of love and respect. Otherwise, that person is less of a friend and more of a critic (which isn't bad all the time, but it sounds like you want an actual friend) I'd also make sure that it's a two way street, like if they can give harsh criticism to me, I can do it right back to them and they won't get upset. (Also, I feel like this is a good test to see if the "brutal honesty" is coming from a good place) Nailed it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oxy Posted October 27, 2022 Share Posted October 27, 2022 I throw it right back at them, I always say “don’t start non, won’t be non”. If I didn’t ask for your opinion, if you aren’t holding my mom hostage, if you aren’t the one giving me my salary etc then you ain’t sht. Just have fun and don’t *** my vibe.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonginBey Posted October 27, 2022 Share Posted October 27, 2022 2 hours ago, FightForTanas said: Disown them. I need my friends to lie to me and make me feel better. We need to be able to ignore our own problems and make fun of OTHER people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pacify Him Posted October 27, 2022 Share Posted October 27, 2022 I'm a brutally honest person. I don't get the point of filtering my words for whatever reason. It's just words. It's not like I'm completely insulting them. Some people do deserved to be humbled down tho and I aim to be the person who would help them towards it. Like, I should even be thanked I'm helping them become the better version of themselves. Why won't they ever listen? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConceptD Posted October 27, 2022 Share Posted October 27, 2022 I’d love a friend that is brutally honest. I used to be best friends with someone that was and it was great because I always knew what was actually happening, but life happened and we drifted apart and now I’m surrounded by ass lickers who say everything I do is great. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bad guy Posted October 27, 2022 Share Posted October 27, 2022 5 hours ago, applestar said: I've dealt with honest people who have given harsh comments to me before, so I feel like I can put my two cents here. I'm not sure what the brutally honest comments you've received are, but if it were me, I'd make sure that the comments are: helpful coming from a good place (it isn't just them secretly ranting about their own life and pushing it out on you to make you feel bad, person isn't jealous, resentful, etc.) This doesn't mean the comments have to sound sweet or anything like that; just that whatever harsh-sounding criticism you get is from a place of love and respect. Otherwise, that person is less of a friend and more of a critic (which isn't bad all the time, but it sounds like you want an actual friend) I'd also make sure that it's a two way street, like if they can give harsh criticism to me, I can do it right back to them and they won't get upset. (Also, I feel like this is a good test to see if the "brutal honesty" is coming from a good place) Yeah. If you can’t be brutally honest with your friends then they’re not real friends. If my friends aren’t honest with me then they don’t care about me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
terrorblade Posted October 27, 2022 Share Posted October 27, 2022 I'd love to have a friend like that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Posted October 29, 2022 Share Posted October 29, 2022 i just steer clear of them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lipgloss Posted October 29, 2022 Share Posted October 29, 2022 Kill them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cockatoo Posted October 29, 2022 Share Posted October 29, 2022 I find a lot of brutally honest people are just a bit stupid Like it takes a very low level of emotional intelligence to just say whatever is on your mind without considering for a second how other people will react to it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadonnasBoyfriend Posted October 29, 2022 Share Posted October 29, 2022 I just stop responding if they have over stepped Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A.R.L Posted October 29, 2022 Share Posted October 29, 2022 (edited) There should always be a respectful way to criticize others without sounding like a jerk, unless they see you making a very stupid mistake and they won't care to be rude until they save you, it's rare to find such a kinda friend. Making you laugh a lot isn't what makes them a good friend, they actually should prove themselves in some difficult situations as possible as they can, to be on that level, otherwise, they should at least maintain a respectful friendship. Most importantly, no matter what rude things they say and no matter how you deal with it, this should be in private. Edited October 29, 2022 by A.R.L Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
naval23 Posted October 30, 2022 Author Share Posted October 30, 2022 20 hours ago, MadonnasBoyfriend said: I just stop responding if they have over stepped I did this but the only awkward thing was we were carpooling together Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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