celeb news Kelly Clarkson says she's not above spanking her kids and finds nothing wrong with it

[Proseductice]

Spanking is wrong, period. It instills fear in children and breaks the trusting relationship between a parent and their child. When I was spanked, it only made me a sneaky child, not an "obedient" one. As I study this, the goal in parenting should be to aim for an authoritative approach. People mistake permissive for authoritative. There is a middle ground between permissive and authoritarian, which is all most believe to be. Permissive is letting the child do as they wish without consequence, avoiding conflict in the relationship with the child and setting no boundaries.  Authoritarian is strict and parent driven with little though to the child's developmental stages emotionally and physically. 

 

If you're authoritative with your child, you can communicate with them openly and set boundaries together. It should not be a child vs an adult. Parents hold power over their children, but need to respect that they are not adults and need proper guidance. Spanking only teaches fear. You can still set boundaries without physical punishment. "You can do this, or this...these are your choices. You cannot do X, it is not safe, etc. If you continue to do X, we will have to stop doing the activity." If they continue to do it, you stop the activity and explain why they can no longer do it. Redirect them to something better after the discussion. It works even as young as 18 months if you're consistent. Since people are asking about alternatives. 

[Redstreak]

28 minutes ago, X~MoviePoP said:

All yall saying u don't agree but yet haven't offered any alternatives to really bad and misbehaving children???

 

If ur from a ethnic household, ur most likely getting spanked. And usually u get spanked if u dont listen the first few times ur parents told u to stop wutever ur doing thats bad.

Exactly. 99% of the time of our kid misbehaves he gets either a talking to or a few minutes of time-out. The only time he gets a small pop on the behind is when he does something he was just told not to but he’s testing to see what he can get away with  like he would watch us to see if we were watching him do the thing he was just told no about

[AMIT]

this thread and the people condoning her behavior as something to be cheered on 

 

6 hours ago, pavi said:

These kind of reactions, damn, just an enumeration of fallacies

 

1. 'It gets to the point where people won't be firm with their kids verbally because of emotional abuse': cool opinion, doesn't have anything to do with what's being discussed here. You're using a 'slippery slope' argument, which is actually taking away the attention from what's being discussed here: spanking. Leave it behind and start a new thread if you wanted to discuss that.

2. Same goes for the part after that. Claiming kids don't get punished anymore and implicitly linking that to kids not being spanked anymore.. that's just werid. There are still other ways to punish children, you know. It's fine you have that opinion, but it has nothing to do with whether spanking is an okay punishment or not.

3. You're using some lingual gymnastics to make a difference between abuse and 'a negative physical touch'. I've never heard of 'negative physical touch', neither could I find anything about it. The only reason I could think of physical touch being negative to someone is because it's either unwanted or in some way painful/unpleasant. If that is what you meant, you perfectly described a way of touching that is not as bad as hitting or kicking and seriously injuring a child, but is still bad in some way. It's been shown time after time those kind of touches (whether a bit painful, very painful or in some other way unpleasant) have negative effects on children's "social-emotional development, self-regulation, and cognitive development." That's extra interesting, cause while you're trying to argue children think they can get away with anyting these days, studies actually shows children that got hit/spanked actually lack self-regulation

 

@ Kelly: Just cause some people turned out fine being spanked, that doesn't mean it's a good way of teaching kids how to behave. Overthrowing years worth of research just because of experience.. well. Guess we need to teach parents better ways to raise their children, cause I honestly think all of this stems from not knowing how to parent differently. If teachers can get children to behave and teach them self-regulation without spanking (or 'negative physical touch' ), then so can parents. With the right 'replacement' method, this will actually lead to children who do right because they know what's right, instead of fear.

 thanks for educating us, but I'm afraid some single brain cell individuals in here will scream "EsSAy!!1!!" "sNowFLakE!!11  " because they can't handle reading a post with over 140 characters and their ego can't bear being told that their perspective on this matter is WRONG. 

[Sugar-Rush]

Y'all really had to dig up something from 2018 to drag her for?  

[Johnny Jacobs]

Depends on the level of spanking tbh.. 

 

A small spank is acceptable.. Lord knows there are kids that deserve it 

[thismoment]

Sounds like lazy parenting to me. There are better ways to discipline your kids and that should be that last resort. 

[Kamil24]

Wow, good for her  

[MadonnasBoyfriend]

7 hours ago, Schami66 said:

I hope her kids spank her when she's old. 

It's just an act of love

The kids will be like we spank back 

 

Anyways she should stop. Shame on her. Will be deleting love so soft from my phone and my tablet later today

Edited October 11, 2022 by MadonnasBoyfriend

[Jay L]

Well, she’s right

[Kamil24]

8 hours ago, ChapelHooker said:

so you think that believing hitting your kids is never okay in any circumstance is... being oversensitive?

 

you are glad your parents hit you?

Yes it is very oversensitive. 

[Kamil24]

The comments calling it abuse  If anything grounding a child for days/weeks at a time is the real abuse. 

[Luckitty]

it's so funny how people who don't have children have so much to say about another person's parenting 

[karron0624]

1 hour ago, AMIT said:

this thread and the people condoning her behavior as something to be cheered on 

 

 thanks for educating us, but I'm afraid some single brain cell individuals in here will scream "EsSAy!!1!!" "sNowFLakE!!11  " because they can't handle reading a post with over 140 characters and their ego can't bear being told that their perspective on this matter is WRONG. 

Its probably worse for a bunch of people with no kids and probably never intending to have kids to say objectively what is good parenting and bad parenting having never actually parented or trade any concepts in the books, articles, shows that they have watched and/or read. Just like it is important to listen to expert psychologists, etc., it’s also important to listen to THE EXPERTS (i.e actual parents), especially those who have successfully raised at least one child from age 1 to 18 and still have a successful relationship with that child (i.e can still communicate effectively with their child and their child is living a good respectful life).

 

I was spanked as a kid 7 times and i can tell you what each one was for. For example, i was playing in the street as a four year and my mom kept telling me to stop and physically getting me out of the street. The last time she gave me a tap on my butt and said “Did that hurt. If you keep running in the street, a car will hit you, it will hurt a lot more.” All 7 spankings I received were for instances where i could have died, but as a child, had no concept of what death meant (i.e trying to stick a fork in the power socket after i pulled off the child protections, i was that kid ?.) However, similarly i was playing with an iron a different day and my mom told me multiple times you’re going to burn yourself. Sure enough, i burned my arm so bad i still have the scar twenty years later. She told me when i was 15 “why would i spank you for that, i told you you would burn yourself. You ****** around and you found out. ?”

 

There is literal nuance to everything. I most likely wont spank my kids if i have any, but type of punishments are determined per kid, and there isn’t a one size fits all approach. I.e, time outs were effective for my sister, but ineffective for me because i would create imaginary friends and we would just talk. Just saying “spanking your kids makes you horrible parents” is not true because spanking does not equal abuse and can be effective given the context and severity. In the same vein, spanking children just to spank children because it is what you know is also not effective parenting because you have not designed a program targeted for your specific child. Every parenting style must be curated to fit your specific child or children in order to be an effective parent, and black and white style, especially from arm-chair parents, are never effective.

 

OT: This is an old topic. She hanst spoken on this in forever.

[Scandalous]

queen is correct  when i grew up the rotten/spoiled kids were always the ones whose parents didn’t spank them

[Uncatena]

1 hour ago, Kamil24 said:

Yes it is very oversensitive. 

Hope you never have children x

[charot]

Is this even an issue? lol Genzers/wokies are so oversensitive. 

[anastasha]

10 hours ago, gloamingtheplain said:

A spank is not physical violence. That’s the difference. It’s a physical sign. 

 

I mean, it gets to the point where people won’t be firm with their kids verbally because of “emotional abuse”. 

 

But these kids are literally crying about mental health every 5 seconds because they oversensitive way of discipline these days are NOT preparing kids for the real world because they don’t understand why they can’t do what they want anymore and get actual punishment. 

 

There’s a difference between a soft tap on the bum vs actually being violent with your child. 

 

It's an act of violence, and as I said, it just teaches children that physical retaliation is the way forward rather than verbal communication.

 

This is how you get emotionally un/under-developed children who can't talk or understand their own feelings and lash out well into adulthood.

[Kamil24]

1 hour ago, ChapelHooker said:

Hope you never have children x

I will, and I will spank them  

[RihRihGirrrl]

I mean I wouldn't take spanking off the table but I hope (when I have kids) to be able to give my kids a look and tell them 1 time and not have them test me. My cousin has really mastered that lol That being said....there's no one size fits all to disciplining your kids....and some kids need more of it than others. 

[LatinFreak]

[Uncatena]

10 minutes ago, Kamil24 said:

I will, and I will spank them  

highkey weirdo behaviour. I can smell the desperation to be edgy from here.
 

going against the scientific consensus that spanking harms children (if not physically, emotionally) puts you in the same boat as anti-vaxxers and flat earthers which is quite frankly more embarrassing than this post. 

[Uncatena]

1 hour ago, charot said:

Is this even an issue? lol Genzers/wokies are so oversensitive. 

I’m so tired of y’all saying that caring for human decency is being over sensitive. Gives me the same vibe of those people who say “buzzwords!!” when someone says the word “feminist”. Like, are we adults here? 
 

The American Academy Of Pediatrics On Spanking Children: Don't Do It, Ever.

Edited October 11, 2022 by ChapelHooker

[NausAllien]

 

I mean, she IS from the South so... 

[Blue Rose]

This is trash. And her kids will grow up to resent her even if they have a good relationship. The scars will just never leave them 

[Ab1818]

14 minutes ago, Blue Rose said:

This is trash. And her kids will grow up to resent her even if they have a good relationship. The scars will just never leave them 

Doubt it.