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Am I mentally ill?


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Posted

A friend of me made a very interesting comment about my behaviour yesterday.

 

I always have obsessions in my life or sudden 'passions' I want to accomplish ASAP or know everything about.

For example, a few years ago when I went to college I studied journalism. All of a sudden it was my dream to become one of the greatest journalists in my country. I told everyone that I finally found my goal in life and spent many hours writing articles. But while I was writing articles, I asked myself the question 'Is this my life? Is this it?'. After a month, the 'love' for journalism was over and I wanted to become a teacher (which I am today). I quickly deleted everything related to journalism and then dedicated an entire room in my apartment towards my goal to become the greatest teacher ever.

 

Then, while I was studying, I wanted a Nintendo Switch. I bought one within three days and bought more than 10 games with it, spending A LOT of money. I told my friends and roommates that it was the best purchase I ever made.

A month later I didn't touch my Nintendo switch anymore, and I still haven't. It now lays somewhere in a closet covered in dust.

 

I was living in my dormroom at the time, and was very happy. But, after a few months, I started asking questions like 'is this my life now?' 'is this it?' ... This was after I studied to become an elementary school teacher. I graduated and then decided to study again, but now to become a secondary school teacher for English. I was telling everyone that I was the happiest I'd ever been. All of a sudden I decorated my entire apartment in a British theme. Even my bedsheet was the UK flag. After 3 months, I dropped out and removed everything related to Britain. I also left my dormroom, even though I had been calling it my 'real home' and the place where I was the happiest I could be. My life truly is a whirlwind with sudden drastic changes or 'changes in my course of life', because I always ask myself the question 'Is this it? Is this all?'.

 

Without thinking much, after I dropped out of college, I then decided to work fulltime in a restaurant. I declared that it was my dream to work in the restaurant for more than 10 years and to become the 'heart and soul' of that restaurant. I even searched for apartments close to the restaurant and was seriously considering to move there. But again, after working there for five months fulltime, I asked the question 'is this my life now?'. I eventually quit that job and decided to look for something else again. 

 

And this is the cycle of my life. I could go on for a few more hours, but that's boring.

Is this normal behaviour? Why do I always want to 'switch' roads in my life all of a sudden? Why do I keep having new obsessions? Why is everything so intense in my head when I like something? I can never just 'like' something, it immediately becomes my ultimate passion in life.

 

What do y'all think?

Posted

First off I want to say that if you have any doubts about your mental state you should always look for professional help. A therapist would be able to answer your questions and give you a proper diagnosis.

 

That being said... that's actually a very common symptom of ADHD in adults: when your brain finds something stimulating that makes you feel good they tend to hyperfocus on it and suddenly it becomes an obsession but for a very short period of time.  :celestial5:

 

But as I said, looking for a diagnosis online isn't always the best option so if you can you should talk to a therapist :heart:

Posted

I mean I don’t want to diagnose you over ATRL, but I think you might have some issues with impulsiveness, or possibly bipolar depression with manic episodes. Or you could just be someone who changes direction a lot. I’d talk to a professional though. 

Posted

You are just Professor Calamitous from Jimmy Neutron

Posted

Yes

Posted

your on atrl, do you really have to ask? 

Posted

Your days of stanning Gaga is numbered it seems. :giraffe:

 

All joke asides, I think you may have ADHD. Your impulsiveness can be due to your unbalanced dopamine. 

Posted

I am very similar. I have done like 282732937 different types of jobs :rip: I also have a lot degrees and cerrtifications in different fields but never feel fulfilled 

Posted

not reading all of that, but you’re on atrl so the answer is yes :heart:

Posted

Sounds like untreated ADHD. And you don't need treatment if you don't want it, but some of us need to even out the rollercoaster in order to function in life.

Posted

Sounds like OCD but I’m not a doctor :cm:

Posted

Sounds like Bi polar. 

Posted

This kinda reminds me of what grace jones said about gaga, a woman just trying things on but had no personality. It sounds like you want to be loved and you have big inflated delusions about who you are, but you actually have no sense of self. You're treating all of these jobs as a means to end of being loved... Saying that you will be the "heart&soul" of a restaurant that you've barely worked out is very bizarre, that you would be the greatest teacher alive etc.. It's all before you've been humbled by the actual work required. I think you need to find true meaning in your life, starting with your relationship with yourself. You have a purpose, but you need to detach yourself from the extreme expectations you have in regards to things you're not passionate or skilled in.

Posted

Gurl, you got ADHD! I do too! Symptoms vary a bit from person to person, but this is textbook “hyper focus to loss of interest” cycling. If you can go to therapy, start. Look for a therapist who specializes in ADHD. If you don’t have access to therapy, look for some online CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) for ADHD resources. 

Posted (edited)
36 minutes ago, Kh-Loud said:

Your days of stanning Gaga are numbered it seems. :giraffe:

:deadbanana2:
 

but yeah, I’ve read about adhd as well and it might be your case; go with a professional for an accurate diagnosis. :lakitu:

Edited by Zeferino
Posted

Sounds like schizophrenia.

Posted

LADY GAGA - KIM PETRAS - PABLLO VITTAR - BLACKPINK

 

You are, I fear :dancehall:

Posted

Could just be an amateur polymath, with required guidance/push to break through the next level of each of these interests? 

Posted

Everyone feels unfulfilled at some point. Everyone day dreams of a career change when work sucks. And tons of people make impulse purchases for a new hobby or interest that they drop soon after.  
 

How often you act out on all that seems like a reason to see a psychiatrist though. Especially if it negatively impacts your life, and, honestly, the money that goes into all that seems like enough reason to address it in some way. 

Posted
Quote

I asked myself the question 'Is this my life? Is this it?'. 

Maybe you need to stop doing that.

Posted

your first mistake was posting this on ATRL 

Posted

LADY GAGA - KIM PETRAS - PABLLO VITTAR - BLACKPINK

 

You are, I fear :dancehall:

Posted

You are not mentally ill, I have ADHD and I recognize a lot of what you are saying. I’d recommend you look into ADHD and how it manifests and if you recognize it in your own daily life. 
 

You are not weird or ill, your brain just might work differently. Don’t let them get you down sis :heart:

Posted

You clearly don't know what you want and you're seeking out things or having some temporary obsession to help fulfil some sort of void. You should speak to a proffesional about it.

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