tournament Golden Hit: Season 2 📀 Congratulations Hug! 🏆

[JoeAg]

submitted, that took a bit longer than expected but i'm actually pretty proud of it for being something that i cranked out in like 30 minutes

32 minutes ago, fountain said:

Sis it wouldn’t be a JoeAg entry if it wasn’t written an hour after the deadline  

tea  i'm the most disorganized person i've EVER met

[Better Mistakes]

9 hours ago, Better Mistakes said:

Cruel World

 

 

Full lyrics below. Drag me. 

 

 

  Reveal hidden contents

(Verse 1)
Never fought with time 
Only those across borders
Never looked in your eyes 
On fields with others

(Pre Chorus)
All of the weeping crosses in blushing reds won’t retell what we knew
All of the weeping crosses won’t raise me from the ground 

(Chorus)
Goodbye to this cruel world
Goodbye to this cruel world
It’s the end, it’s the end of our world 
Goodbye to this cruel world
Goodbye to this cruel world
‘Til we meet in the light 

(Verse 2)
Never lost the fight 
Only lost the power 
Never gave up on life 
In our secret hours 
 
(Pre Chorus)

(Chorus)

(Bridge: spoken)
I’ve fallen down, Lord help me up
As Death comes in to take my hand 
Your voice still rings and sings 
Like the first time you unlocked what it meant to love
When I complained that life isn’t fair
To love in secret but not out there 
It shouldn’t be a secret 
But Lord, I’ll take them with me 
As the world crumbles around me 
I know you’re fighting for glory, King and country
As I lose you and everything is ripped from me
I pray that some history remembers me
Give me life and live honestly
Just don’t let them alter me 

(Chorus)

(Outro: spoken)
All of the weeping crosses in blushing reds won’t retell what we knew
All of the weeping crosses won’t raise me from the ground 
Goodbye to this world, I’ve fallen forever now
Goodbye to this world, it’s ending now
You have fixed my Life – however short.
You did not light me: I was always a mad comet; but you have fixed me.
I spun round you a satellite for a month,
But I shall swing out soon, a dark star in the orbit where you will blaze.
It is some consolation to know that Jupiter himself sometimes swims out of Ken!

 

 

 

Bonus photo of daddy Wilfred Owen

 

Spiralling and having a folklore moment. I’ve got stories to tell, both real and imaginary; connections to be made across songs that link them together. Let’s see where this goes 

[fountain]

24 minutes ago, JoeAg said:

tea  i'm the most disorganized person i've EVER met

I can relate  I’m generally quite laid back and so time can pass me quite easily sometimes

 

15 minutes ago, Better Mistakes said:

Spiralling and having a folklore moment. I’ve got stories to tell, both real and imaginary; connections to be made across songs that link them together. Let’s see where this goes 

Hopefully the next challenge can fit into this!

[Hug]

NOT soundcloud down when it's actually important to me for it to be working this week ????

[fountain]

The songs of Round 4, The Spoken Word Challenge:

(minus any late entries)

 

@hurricane326 - Autumn

@XO_Life - Only Ones Who Know

@Allday - Leaving The City

@Julia Fox - I will know

@Kylie Jenner - This Is War

@Hug - [C:\DIGITAL-DYSTOPIA] (feat. Alluring Name)

@Better Mistakes - Cruel World

@beatinglikeadrum - xxx (forbidden prayer)

@Remmy - Flowerbloom (S2 Version) [Live from the Memorial Civil Center in Canton, Ohio)

@Augmented - The Battle

@Legend E - Interviewing Myself

@Euterpe - Wasteland

@TruGemini - Long Road

@JoeAg - It’s Your Shade of Blue Now

Edited September 17, 2022 by fountain

[fountain]

really living for these titles, the creativity   I think we are in for another great round if I do say so myself 

[Legend E]

Remmy  

[Jackson]

can’t wait to read the entries as soon as @Aurora gives me access  

[fountain]

55 minutes ago, Jackson said:

can’t wait to read the entries as soon as @Aurora gives me access  

If you insist, I guess I’ll add you to it … 

[worldwide angel]

17 hours ago, fountain said:

Can we expect any late entries, hopefully?  @worldwide angel @Gavin.

i’m sorry, this week was hectic irl , i will be back for r5

[fountain]

1 minute ago, worldwide angel said:

i’m sorry, this week was hectic irl , i will be back for r5

Aw a shame, life always comes first though. I’m glad you’ll be back for round 5!! 

[Galah]

8 hours ago, fountain said:

The songs of Round 4, The Spoken Word Challenge:

(minus any late entries)

 

@hurricane326 - Autumn

@XO_Life - Only Ones Who Know

@Allday - Leaving The City

@Julia Fox - I will know

@Kylie Jenner - This Is War

@Hug - [C:\DIGITAL-DYSTOPIA] (feat. Alluring Name)

@Better Mistakes - Cruel World

@beatinglikeadrum - xxx (forbidden prayer)

@Remmy - Flowerbloom (S2 Version) [Live from the Memorial Civil Center in Canton, Ohio)

@Augmented - The Battle

@Legend E - Interviewing Myself

@Euterpe - Wastleland

@TruGemini - Long Road

@JoeAg - It’s Your Shade of Blue Now

Another wonderful turnout, it's fantastic to see Golden Hit rounds average higher submission rates than their respective counterparts in a traditional Platinum Hit season. The non-elimination format definitely appears to be working!

 

While seeing a few names missing from the list is sad, it's great to see the likes of Kylie Jenner, Better Mistakes, and TruGemini return.

 

I don't want to spoil too much, but for anyone who wasn't around for the Golden Hit: Season 1 finale, you might want to participate in these last two challenges if you have only participated in one or two thus far. You never know what you might be Hit with!

[Galah]

With that said, it's now time...

 

 

Good luck y'all! I hope your songs speak to me...

[Galah]

My reviews are serving novella this week... apologies in advance (or you're welcome?) Definitely some scalps this week. Hopefully will be able to wrap these up in a few hours!

[Legend E]

[Alldeezy]

[Galah]

 

Hey, Hitmakers! Your songs really spoke to me this week... and I'm not just saying that to make a pun on Round 4's Spoken Word challenge, they did! 🗣

I'm heading out of the state this coming week following the Round 5 challenge announcement tomorrow, so enjoy my reviews now while I finalise scores.

If there is anything in your review that you do not wish to have public (lyric excerpts, references to your material etc.) I will remove it upon request.

 

 

1. @hurricane326 - “Autumn”

First cab off the rank again! (That’s Australian slang for being the first to seize an opportunity, if you didn’t know ) I’ve come to anticipate your entries, as they always provide a strong start to a reviewing session. In some ways I feel like this challenge was tailor-made for you, given I’d say your typical writing style already trends more on the poetic side. What you’ve submitted definitely gives off strong spoken word poetry vibes, although the little “Autumn has come” refrain does bring it back into spoken word song territory. Thematically, this feels almost like a continuation of “Love Under a Blue Tarp”, or more accurately as if they belong to the same concept album (i.e. a “cardigan”/“august”/“betty” from folklore tea). While part of me loves the idea of this, having another song with vivid seasonal/tree imagery directly following the deciduous tree challenge potentially feels a tad uninspired. Conceptually, I think writing about seasonal affective disorder is solid, and the logic of connecting it with seasonal imagery is sound, if not a bit predictable. What can’t be faulted is your knack for crafting captivating one-liners, and it’s evident that care has been placed into even the simplest imagery of falling leaves and your preferred attire. While I can’t say this is my favourite submission of yours, I still enjoyed it and consider it another solid addition to your repertoire.

2. @XO_Life - “Only Ones Who Know”
Let me start off this review by saying... WHERE 👏 WAS 👏 THIS 👏 DURING 👏 THE 👏 BLACKGOLD 👏 CHALLENGE? This song is serving textbook Audrey Onyx and I honestly stan this so hard. You mentioned you were aiming for “Lana Del Rey going pop” and I think you succeeded in that 100%. I’m not sure if they were intentional references or not, but I loved all the Lana nods throughout, such as the “boat at sea” (NFR! cover art), “late night drive” (“Ride”), “West Coast” (obvious reference), the beach setting (“High By The Beach”) etc. Nothing felt forced or shoehorned in either. Beginning the verses with the year was a good technique. “Forbidden twin flames on the run, heading towards the night sun” was a standout lyric, although I think “midnight sun” might have flowed a bit better. The spoken bridge was a complete collapse, it was giving strong Lana monologue vibes, and this probably has some of your best imagery we’ve seen throughout this tournament: “liquid diamonds”, “wettelsbach-graf eyes”, and “purest crystal heart” fit the dramatised context of this section so immaculately. This section alone was a 10. Needless to say, I think you crushed this challenge, you had a strong vision and concept and saw it to fruition, and I think this is absolutely your best work thus far. Please let me know if Audrey can add this as a digital bonus track for her forthcoming album, Ophelia.

3. @Allday - “Leaving The City”
Before I start my review, I just wanted to ask if you were saving your songs somewhere else? I noticed you were using the same submission doc link for all of your entries and just replacing the contents. I hope you have a copy of your original songs since I’d definitely recommend keeping them! With that said, I think your submissions are definitely showing strength from round to round, and there is consistent growth here. Much like fountain, I wholeheartedly disagree with “Red” scoring lower than “Animal For You”, despite its higher rank. I liked the image of the shiny city lights fading into the distance from the view of the train window. Your spoken word elements were definitely minimal, but they were present and obviously notated. Some suggestions for this song that would get you into the next score bracket for me would be to really hone in on that imagery. Like I mentioned earlier, the visual you conjured with “the shiny distance” was a highlight of this piece. Playing with ideas such as, “The Big Apple seems so small now,” as a metaphor for leaving New York City, for example. Another suggestion would be to utilise more poetic/lyrical language: certain words like “stuff” just don’t have a very appealing melodic tendency, and this lyric could have been improved on, potentially, “They say lies like, ‘oh you’re fine’,” which would also include an imperfect internal rhyme of “lies”/“fine”.

4. @Julia Fox - “I will know”
Not you admitting to submitting an older song... I don’t know how I feel about that. While this was undoubtedly an improvement over “Coconut Tree”, this definitely did give me Golden Hit: Season 1 Julia Fox vibes rather than the new-and-improved Golden Hit: Season 2 “vintage” chanteuse we’ve come to know and love. Your first two entries this season demonstrated terrific growth, and I want you to get back to that place so we can see more of that. “The Last Time I Saw You (Ivan’s song)” was such a fitting closing chapter to the Ivan saga, too. As for the spoken word element of the challenge... it honestly did feel as if you just took an old song and italicised some sections and called it a day. This was particularly evident in lyrics that were only intended to be spoken mid-sentence, which could come across as extremely unnatural in an actual song without the proper setup. I feel like perhaps this song was a good fit for what you are going through personally right now, and not necessarily the challenge at hand. But if Golden Hit helps you process your feelings through art, that’s reason enough to create without being worried about a high rank/score. Moving forward, I’d love to see you freshly reinspired for Round 5, and write a new song from the ground up!

5. @Kylie Jenner - “This Is War”
The return of Ms. Jenner. And we have a working Soundcloud link, spoil us! I thought it was instrumental-only at first, so I was shook when the backing vocals came in... gorgeous. Conceptually, I think your selection of a more serious subject such as war was definitely a clever decision for this challenge, as it lends itself to that dramatic monologue intro and outro format that you’ve opted for (and would be easily trimmed for a radio release/added to a short film music video). Lyrically, I think you’ve stuck rather closely to a common story of soldiers at war fighting for their loved ones, knowing full well that they might not make it home. “And walk the line like you don’t know your fate” was my favourite lyric from the pre-chorus section, as it really reinforced this. The lyrical body of the song felt as if it was prioritising the melodic delivery and general narrative over the individual lyrics. Everything does sound good together, but I can’t really isolate any specific lyrics and say, “Wow, ‘One more day’ was a powerful moment.” I think your most powerful was probably the outro and use of extended rhyme scheme there. As for the spoken word elements, these were by far and away the highlight of your song for me, especially the latter one. The section about the space between the lines of a book’s final page was beautiful, and I almost wish the whole song had been centred around this metaphor instead. All in all, your technique is solid, and I definitely consider this a step up over “Big Girl (Bang Bang)”.

6. @Hug - “[C:\DIGITAL-DYSTOPIA]” (feat. Alluring Name)
The other information... giving Legend E a run for their money! Back-to-back Soundcloud links, we are being spoiled this week. My review for you this week is going to be a little different, because I think you’ve expressed a lot of public uncertainty regarding your originality, or alleged lack thereof, and I think following this song it’s important to address this: WAY 👏 TO 👏 PROVE 👏 THAT 👏 NOTION 👏 WRONG. This was quite simply one of the most unique package deals we’ve seen in Golden Hit, period, and possibly in any writing tournament? The way you COMMITTED to this concept through and through, from the cover art, to the document’s formatting, to the recording... genius. Combining technology with religion, two conceptual ideas that are typically mutually exclusive, in such a perfect and harmonious way alone is impressive, but the extra care you’ve put into every aspect of this song just sells the concept so well, even down to the little binary code easter egg on the doc (which yes, I did have fun translating). I’m glad you added in the intro monologue, not because I think the song wouldn’t have satisfied the brief otherwise (it would have), but because it’s so great, and your friend did an AMAZING job voice acting in this part. Like seriously, wtf? This is not something they ******* made, this is some professional like, and this... this is in different areas wtf, this ain’t no homemade ****. Are those your vocals as “God”, too? You are literally playing God, the serve. I haven’t even addressed the lyrical content yet, which is absolutely fantastic, and doesn’t feel as if it’s playing second fiddle to your concept or other information. I like that it could be either sung or spoken honestly, it retains that strong melodic presence, preventing it from just reading like a partially rhyming story. I can’t even isolate specific one-liners I loved because there’s too many and this review is already serving novella. In short, I think you hacked the mainframe of Golden Hit and gave yourself a 10 this week, and I have absolutely no objections to that.

 

7. @Better Mistakes - “Cruel World”
The first thing I’d like to address is the other information section: while I did just what you suggested, others may not have due to the rather dismissive nature of the request. Which would be a shame, because knowing the background of the relationship described in the song really does frame the song and add layers not necessarily evident from the lyrics alone. This is easily my favourite submission of yours from either of the Golden Hit tournaments thus far. You’ve selected a really interesting source of inspiration and—like I said in my review of Kylie Jenner’s song—the more serious war subject was definitely a clever decision for this challenge. The spoken word bridge is my favourite section of this piece, and the final lyric of this section has the powerful effect I imagine you designed it to have. The outro is similarly strong, and the comet lyric was lovely, even if the celestial imagery toward the end of the song did feel a touch out of place, but I kind of got Kesha's “Spaceship” vibes so I enjoyed it anyway. The prechorus was another strong moment. In the verses and chorus—the verses especially—I would have liked to see some more details being clearly referential to Wilfred Owen and Siegfried Sassoon’s relationship and lived experience, particularly their mutual anti-war stance. Overall, I thought this was clever, challenging, and creative, and I would LOVE to see more material from you in this vein in the future.

8. @beatinglikeadrum - “xxx (forbidden prayer)”
Shall we just rename this season ‘Golden Hit: Lilith Reloaded – The Eve-Up’? I know every now and then we see trends, but to have four (4) different songs across three (3) separate rounds reference Lilith without a single round devoted to her or any kind of religious/biblical theme is a little bit more than odd. On paper I think this would have been a clever approach to the challenge; the spoken prayer intro, the biblical setting, the “twist” framing sin as desirable and following Jesus’ word as undesirable etc. and had we not already received three other submissions more or less promoting the same idea, I think this would have hit a lot harder. Still, I don’t feel it is entirely fair to essentially penalise you for not paying attention to what others are submitting, so I won’t be too harsh when taking this into account for scoring. Delving into your song, I found the intro idea being framed as a prayer genius, but it didn’t actually read like a prayer in execution, more like a reprimand? Your prechorus was really solid, and I think “All I know I dont want heaven's cold perfection, I prefer hell's cozy flames” was a strong way to close out your chorus, and pretty much summarised your intentions behind the song. Despite my less-than-favourable review, this definitely wasn’t a bad song by any means, and while I acknowledge it as somewhat a victim of circumstance, it didn’t reach the highs of “Running away from the sun” or “The King” for me regardless.

9. @Remmy - “Flowerbloom (S2 Version) [Live from the Memorial Civic Center in Canton, Ohio]”
Not you literally re-submitting “Flowerbloom”, I actually went back to the Golden Hit: Season 1 submission form to find your original song to compare the two and realised you just used the same link and updated the formatting a bit and made some minor changes. I’ve already expressed my thoughts on this song back in Season 1, and while my score technically won’t have changed, I don’t know if it’s really fair to give you the same score since it’s obviously not an entirely new song you’ve written for this challenge? I will have to deliberate with my fellow judges. I think this will serve you better than a non-submission, so good thinking at any rate.

10. @Augmented - “The Battle”

I have two words for you: YOU’RE BACK! You’ve been very vocal about your lack of inspiration lately and it feels like being honest about this and facing this issue head on has definitely helped you work through whatever writer’s block you’ve been experiencing these past few weeks. The interesting thing about all of this is, it validates that you really do put yourself into your work, because when you’re struggling we can see it in your music, and when you’re bringing it... you most certainly bring it. In some ways, I feel like this song is very symbolic, and that it literally is as if this is the battle between you and your inspiration, and you’ve most certainly been victorious on this occasion. I loved the A section and how each closing object became the subject of the following line, wrapping its way back to the beginning. Your spoken sections were also strong, in fact I don’t really consider any of the specific verses to be weaker than the others. This is definitely leaning toward spoken word poetry more than song, but I think the outro is the perfect balance and brings it back in. Definitely flying high up with the likes of “Night owl”, let’s hope you stay up on that perch.

 

11. @Legend E - “Interviewing Myself”

First impression: love this title and concept. I feel like we need to have a Psychology round or something because I just know it would spawn some really interesting songs, such as this and Euterpe’s “Five Stages” from the Girl Group challenge *pencils in notebook for Golden Hit: Season 3*. While I’ll be honest, I did find the execution of this particular piece a little confusing at times, it was kind of endearingly so, and almost added to the mystery of the song and made you second guess what was really being said between the lines? The idea of the crackling radio frequency foley effect being incorporated in this song was super fun also, and not just for random flair, but sort of like representative of drifting in and out of reality. In some ways this song reminded me of “Talk of the Town” in that it was very conceptual and had specific meanings associated with the plants that weren’t necessarily the most obvious, but I think this was very much an improvement over that entry and I don’t think you got as caught up in the metaphors this time, but instead controlled the narrative and made a much more engaging piece overall. Another exceptionally unique offering from you, I’m eager for your next!

 

12. @Euterpe - “Wasteland”

This was definitely a moment. My review is going to be on the shorter side in comparison to some of the other reviews, but I don’t want you to take that as an indication of my opinion on the song, I just don’t think it’s necessarily my place to comment on many of the issues you’ve addressed in this piece being a cisgender man. This definitely stands apart from your typical mystical, earthy style in a bold and brave way. This composition absolutely reads like a spoken word poetry performance piece rather than a song with spoken word elements, but that technicality aside, this is enthralling. The final couplet was such a powerful way to end this piece. Despite not reading like a song in a traditional sense, this is still one of my favourite examples of your writing that you’ve submitted in either Golden Hit tournament, and I commend you on writing such a moving piece.

 

13. @TruGemini - “Long Road”
Glad to see you back after taking the week off last week! You have a distinct style that definitely is unique and appreciated in this tournament. I want to get this out of the way, the first two sections were nice but most of my prior criticisms about writing to track rather than writing for the lyrics first apply as you’ve essentially just taken up eleven bars to say the same thing. Even though it might sound catchy and have a nice vibe, there’s definitely a lot more you could have done lyrically with these opening sections. That said, as soon as you get into the longer verse—which I definitely read as a rap—this is some of your best work since “Sweet Release”, honestly. You’ve definitely got bars and flow. I found the spoken section rather interesting and endearing, even if it was almost serving “rambling to meet the word count” a tad. I completely understood what you were going for though, that sort of post-song interlude while the beat’s still going that you might hear on a mixtape. All in all, the good far outweighed the bad here, and I enjoyed seeing how you interpreted the challenge and tackled it in a way that suited your style, and you’ve done a pretty good job at that.

14. @JoeAg - “It’s Your Shade of Blue Now”

First impression: love this title! I’m definitely getting Golden Hit: Season 1 JoeAg vibes from this one because there were more than a few parts I wondered if I was misinterpreting. I didn’t sense too much of a tonal shift between the spoken and sung sections, nor between your typical writing style, but honestly a lot of your writing does have that naturally poetic aptitude to it anyway so it’s not hard to believe a majority of this piece is spoken rather than sung. Is this piece addressing same-sex marriage? I feel like it is with the references to a union, judgemental “friends”, being queer, and kings plural, but I wasn’t sure if there was something else I was missing? If so, what is the shared shade of blue referring to? Is it the way the light is filtered through the stained glass, meaning the home is his now? As you can see, I have a lot of questions, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing: I WANT to know more because I found your song interesting. I feel out of everyone, your songs could benefit the most from the other information section, and I’m usually left wanting more. Regardless, this was another lovely offering from you, and another strong addition to your Golden Hit catalogue.

[Hug]

1 hour ago, Aurora said:

6. @Hug - “[C:\DIGITAL-DYSTOPIA]” (feat. Alluring Name)

Omg acclaim ???

 

Quote

The way you COMMITTED to this concept through and through, from the cover art, to the document’s formatting, to the recording... genius.

So one part I don't think I even mentioned is that the base picture I used for the cover art was made using Craiyon (formerly DALL-E) which I thought was a cute nod to the concept of "technology going too far" that I had in my song, because people are worried these AI programs will be able to replace real artists, just like this online utopia could potentially replace Heaven! It's meta-commentary yeah.

 

1 hour ago, Aurora said:

your friend did an AMAZING job voice acting in this part. Like seriously, wtf? This is not something they ******* made, this is some professional like, and this... this is in different areas wtf, this ain’t no homemade ****.

I'M ******* SAYING. Imagine me sitting there listening to them perform that over Discord in real time. My jaw was on the ******* floor. There was no way I couldn't give them their due credit after hearing that, after WITNESSING that. She told me afterwards she was having a whole existential crisis afterwards because she hated her performance like wtf???? Imagine doing something phenomenal like that and going into a self-hate spiral afterwards. Ugh she's amazing and in my honest opinion added a flavor this piece really needed.

 

Quote

Are those your vocals as “God”, too? You are literally playing God, the serve.

Yeah  ofc I pitched my vocals way down and added vocoder and I'm not even audible for most the song, but HEY I tried. I think it's better than the judgeth hearing me lithp all through the thong.

 

1 hour ago, Aurora said:

it retains that strong melodic presence, preventing it from just reading like a partially rhyming story.

See that was a problem I figured a spoken word entry could have (side-eyes "mm" from Season 1) so keeping some melodic presence was something I felt was important, though toeing the line between that and just "you didn't even do the challenge" was one of my biggest concerns (as I said in the submission form). Happy to see you at least thought it would've been fine either way!

 

Thank you for your honestly very encouraging review dfskjfds I was so close to phoning the rest of this season in out of pure demotivation but I was glad I put the effort I did into this, it felt worth it!

[beatinglikeadrum]

I sent this song bcuz I had to send something. It is literally last hour job

[Legend E]

The way I was so scared to include the flower line

 

But glad it's not a total flop. Thanks, Aurora

[Euterpe]

Thank you @Aurora! I’m glad my song came across as it did, because it was as intended. 

[Remmy]

 

Yeah this was just a silly droplet idea, it's okay if it gets panned  But I did think about the fact that this would be better than getting no points at all  All I did was add maybe 4 new lyrics & were replace some lines that didn't get a lot of love originally, and I made it "live" as a reference to the Grammys when people can get nominated for live versions of songs. 

[fountain]

1 hour ago, Remmy said:

 

Yeah this was just a silly droplet idea, it's okay if it gets panned  But I did think about the fact that this would be better than getting no points at all  All I did was add maybe 4 new lyrics & were replace some lines that didn't get a lot of love originally, and I made it "live" as a reference to the Grammys when people can get nominated for live versions of songs. 

Not your bending the rules to get a Grammy nomination era  kinda here for it

[fountain]

Working on my reviews, hoping to have them posted tonight!

 

Also, @Aurora will be posting the new challenge in the next few hours, I’m quite looking forward to this topic, and I hope nobody finds it too… tiresome 

Edited September 17, 2022 by fountain

[Jackson]

some reviews coming in about an hour. i have 7 done and will post whatever i've completed by then so i don't leave everyone waiting until tomorrow