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Golden Hit: Season 2 📀 R5: Reviews posted, results 7 EST 💤 R6: Mix N Match (pg. 50)


Aurora
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some reviews coming in about an hour. i have 7 done and will post whatever i've completed by then so i don't leave everyone waiting until tomorrow :beatfreak:

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Yas I am within the first 7 :beatfreak:

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thank god I am not within the first 7 :beatfreak:

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19 minutes ago, Legend E said:

thank god I am not within the first 7 :beatfreak:

oop just got to your song :beatfreak:

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Just now, Jackson said:

oop just got to your song :beatfreak:

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Round 5 challenge post coming in ~20 minutes! :duca:

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Any theories for what the new challenge might be? I'm excited to see what ideas y'all might dream up...

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2 minutes ago, Jackson said:

not Aurora stealing my review ratings :angry:

You have 15 minutes, then the floor is MINE. :fan:

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8 minutes ago, Aurora said:

Round 5 challenge post coming in ~20 minutes! :duca:

 

7 minutes ago, Jackson said:

not Aurora stealing my review ratings :angry:

 

4 minutes ago, Aurora said:

You have 15 minutes, then the floor is MINE. :fan:

Let’s put this feud to rest 💤💤💤💤💤

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12 minutes ago, Aurora said:

Any theories for what the new challenge might be? I'm excited to see what ideas y'all might dream up...

It’s not psychology. :gaycat5:

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@hurricane326 – Autumn
As usual, this is a good song. You hit all the marks – everything sounds pretty, there’s an emotional element, the lyrics flow well. Beyond that, this song feels pretty formulaic. Doing a song called “Autumn” right after a round where everyone wrote autumn themed songs may be part of it, but this also feels like exactly what I would expect a hurricane326 song titled “Autumn” to be. There isn’t anything inherently wrong with resting on your signature style, but doing so in a spoken word challenge meant to test song composition strategy feels like the wrong choice to me. Here, I’m not entirely sure what your spoken word section is meant to be. I would assume it’s the longer, last section, but there isn’t really any division of tone or structure other than the length of the verse that would point me towards that conclusion. This certainly isn’t to say that there weren’t a lot of great, standout lyrics here. “I’m more comfortable still in my polo and cargo shorts” was an excellent personal touch that conveyed a lot of meaning without needing to explicitly state your emotions. I also really appreciated “Crying not over who I an, but where I’ve been” (spelling mistake aside). Conversely, there were some rare forced rhymes from you here (“And my brother now thinking of hiring”). There’s no denying that you’re one of the most skilled songwriters here, so I’d love to see you experiment a bit more next week and provide us something of your typical quality. 

 

@XO_Life – Only Ones Who Know
I kinda screamed at your description – a 1930s Lana song if she was gay and happier, but I’d say it’s pretty spot on. In addition, I should just start by saying this is my favorite song of yours so far this season. “No judgment from the stars, they shine their light no matter who we are” is a 10/10 line – it’s hard to write something empowering without it being cheesy, and I think you pulled it off here. I also loved “Dead roses on the floor, when you touched me all of them re-bloomed… into a time, where it will be okay to call you mine”. This was a great balance between the elevated 1930s society theme and the Lana/gay vibes. Your spoken word bridge being an entire paragraph was something I honestly didn’t expect this round, but it was the perfect way to convey a lot of artfully written information in a dense form. I can’t think of any other round where you could make “wettelsbach-graf eyes” work. There were a few times when the Lana schtick went a bit overboard – “The sound society would make, if they ever found out what we were doing last night on the beach” wasn’t the tidiest way to portray that image. I also found “butter” in the bridge to stick out considering the refined, elegant feel of the rest of the song (maybe you could have gone with olive oil?). Still, I love that you tried a new style this round and fully embraced the spoken word element to add a new dimension to your song.

 

@Allday – Leaving the City
I like the way you reinforced the idea of leaving someone with an image of literally escaping a city – it gives your song both a literal and metaphorical aspect that works well to double the emotion in the lyrics. You used a similar mechanism in your last song of using a tree as both a literal setting and a metaphor, and I have to say I quite enjoy it. You also hint at a brighter future in alluding to another shiny city in the distance. Referring to this in the setting without referencing it in the story is a smart way to give the reader an idea of the song’s conclusion without explicitly stating it. Lyrically, this song is quite commercial, like a lot of your songs. The chorus and verses are catchy, but don’t necessarily lend themselves to a lyric-writing competition where you don’t give yourself a lot of room to expand your storyline beyond the basics. In addition, I’m not sure which section of your song is meant to be spoken-word, as everything sounds pretty poetic and poppy. The bridge was the highlight of the song for me – I’d love to see you experiment with the longer line lengths and more personal details in your bridge in future songs.

 

@Julia Fox – I will know
Not you admitting to writing this song a month ago. I don’t really care as long as it’s not a song that’s been submitted for another round/season (looking at Remmy). I appreciate how vulnerable this song was. The spoken word portions felt like My Little Love by Adele – just little voice notes sprinkled in for additional flavor. Because of how raw and personal it is, there were parts that fell a bit flat. The first couplet wasn’t written in the prettiest way, and that made the ice cream-eating image feel awkward. I felt the same way about the “while listening to songs that are so relatable” line in the second verse. Still, I like the way you approached the narrative of the song. Scathing breakup songs are the norm, so writing something so forgiving of the other party was refreshing, and felt real (I imagine because it is). This felt like an unpolished gem – there’s a lot that could have been cut or polished to make it a more pleasant read, but there’s a lot of value in what’s here. 

 

@Kylie Jenner – this is war
Ooh that soundcloud audio was fun. I listened after reading through the lyrics once and the vibe really fit what I imagined. Lyrically, the song was quite similar to your round two song, but I think this one worked better because of the added spoken word parts. Your writing is typically pretty brief and commercial in nature, so the longer, more expressive spoken word parts were a nice pairing. The intro and outro were definitely my favorite parts of the song. The additional space allowed your thoughts to flow more freely, and the form was extremely pleasant to read. My favorite bit was the stanza ending in “because it is a place of hope, for new words can be written”. In comparison, your sung parts were catchy and made the lyrics feel like a real pop song, but lyrically didn’t offer much. The concept of love being war is well documented in songwriting, and while I felt your spoken parts provided a new, unique angle, the sung parts ventured more into the realm of clichés. I’d be interested to see you try to incorporate some of the detail in your spoken word sections into the poppy format we’ve come to love from you – I think you’d be quite successful if you pulled it off.

 

@Hug – [C:\DIGITAL-DYSTOPIA] (feat. Alluring Name)
Your DEEPFAKE serve (jk, they’re actually not that similar beyond google doc formatting and general tech theme). I think you’ve finally found a novel concept in songwriting, although it’s essentially just San Junipero from Black Mirror. I get that mostly from the spoken word intro, though, since the sung lyrics have a lot more personality to them. The spoken word part really did just feel like an additional information section, and while I agree that your friend’s voice acting was superb, I would have loved to see that part feel more intentional rather than just a way to convey otherwise confusing information. Otherwise, I thought the sung parts were brilliant. Revolving everything around the concept of life being a binary and relating it to a digital afterlife created through binary code was pretty genius. Your chorus was the perfect mix of catchy and expressive – “You crafted a Tower of Babel out of code” is a line I wish I was smart enough to write. The song also contains a deeper conversation about what makes life real, which is more than my brain can handle right now, but the way it’s just casually nestled in there just shows your mastery at balancing multiple concepts and pulling them all off.  I appreciate how you made all the most important sections of your song count (intro excluded) – your chorus left an indelible impression, and the outro of “I am Alpha, Omega, and I’ll generate Genesis” was full of so much personality and left me with a smile after reading. Another stellar entry from you.

 

@Better Mistakes – Cruel World
 I’m really intrigued with the subject you chose to write about. It seems there’s a lot of nuance to the relationship of the two men historically, and many people wonder exactly what the nature of their relationship was. I think it would have been interesting to include more of that nuance in your lyrics. There are a lot of really interesting lines and sections in your song, most notably the spoken word verses, but some of the verses relied on war clichés and general allusions to a gay relationship without exploring some of the more unique aspects of the story. Your second verse and chorus were quite short – they would have been great places to include some of the additional detail. The bridge and outro, by comparison, were exactly what I would have loved to see in the rest of the song. I loved “give me life and live honestly/just don’t let them alter me”. This was a pretty solid song. Had the rest of the verses lived up to those spoken word portions, it would have been even stronger.

 

@beatinglikeadrum – xxx (forbidden prayer)
Much like last week, I really like your concept. Interestingly considering the challenge, I found this to be one of your most song-y songs this season. Your line lengths were much shorter and your language was more accessible, which helped me be able to imagine the rhythm and melody to your lyrics. Also similarly to last week, there were quite a few small spelling or grammatical errors that broke the flow of the song. If possible, it would help to have someone read over the lyrics to spot those errors. If not, paste the lyrics into something like Grammarly to weed out some of the more obvious ones. I tested this myself and it seemed to catch the majority of these small errors. Regardless, there were a lot of lines that I loved here. “You created a beautiful world full of stunning lies” was very strong. I also loved the rawness of “Being naked, drinking honey, being drunk/It all sounds better than the Jesus’ crown”. The standout this week was “Angels are happy when we copulate/As long as we’re doing it under the Jahwe’s name” – this was an effective way to point out the double standard religion forces upon us. Your third verse was also a great slice of pop writing. It was catchy, had great rhythm, and thought provoking lyrics. You’ve improved quite a bit this season. I always look forward to reading your songs, because you have a unique way of writing extremely descriptive, original songs. Once you’re able to streamline them a bit more, you’ll be writing #1 hits. 

 

@Remmy – Flowerbloom (S2 Version) [Live from the Memorial Civic Center in Canton, Ohio]
I’m glad you submitted something this week, but to be honest, I’m not sure I can condone re-submitting a song from a prior season. Regardless of the strength of the song, I’ll be scoring based on that fact. I know I read this song last season, but I wasn’t a judge at the time, so I’m kinda looking at it with new eyes. I’m not sure exactly which lines are new, but “I am a he/him hoe with a they/them coochie” is still a standout. The “sloppy toppy”/”soggy bottom” lines are also unpleasantly satisfying. It was nice to read this again, and I hope you’re able to submit something next round 

 

@Augmented – The Battle
It feels like a lot of thought went into this. The intro set up the lyrics nicely, and Section A balanced interesting concepts with compelling wordplay, which continued into section B. I’m glad that you played with your structure so much this round, and I think it was a smart choice, but had you opted for a traditional song structure, section C was catchy and memorable enough to work as a chorus. I appreciate that since the song was on the shorter side, you didn’t repeat any sections, which made the song feel complete yet succinct despite its length. There was some ambiguity as to what the song is specifically addressing, but I feel like it could be commentary on your songwriting journey this season. I like the image of being trapped inside a cage made by your own mind, and finding ways to escape a fictitious prison you’ve created for yourself. Perhaps the meaning of the song could have been less shielded, but it’s also part of the appeal. This is definitely one of, if not the best song you’ve submitted so far this season. Great work.

 

@Legend E – Interviewing Myself 
I never realized how many ways there would be to incorporate spoken word elements into a song, but the creativity is really flowing this round. Interpolating elements of a radio interview into a song was a really creative choice. This is a very relatable topic for a lot of people, and one that has been explored extensively in songwriting, but you still did a great job of putting your own spin on it. The old school radio parts mixed with all the garden/nature imagery makes me think of like a 1950s American Dream setting with a white picket fence and unhappy characters behind a perfectly coiffed façade. That may be entirely my own imagination, but it shows how well you create imagery in your lyrics. On the other hand, you resorted to clichés a few times where it wasn’t necessary (particularly in the second verse), and similarly to last week, sometimes your references are well thought out but easy to miss. For example, I would have never associated the order of daffodils with narcissism. I’d suggest trying to find a slightly more overt way of implying this so I’m not left to rely on the other information section. Still, this was another solid entry from you and one that should do pretty well on the charts. I appreciate the thought and backstory you put into each of your entries and wish I could post some of the standout lines you consistently serve each week.

 

@Euterpe – Wasteland
I’m happy to see you choosing to do an entirely spoken word entry. A few writers were able to cast aside their typical styles this week without the constraints of a melody, and I think you’ve used it to your advantage here. This is the kind of song I’ve been wanting from you. You’ve always done a good job of conveying a message in your songs, but this week you were able to do it in a slightly more dressed up way. From the first line, I loved the “barren wasteland” theme. In addition to being a strong metaphor, the use of “barren” in a song about forced pregnancies is quite clever. “Fertile flaw” was a masterful way to flip a cliché and give it infinitely more meaning, and following it up with “Death is no longer a choice/It’s the only right I have” made it hit that much harder. This is a sensitive subject, and you addressed it quite directly, but it still felt tasteful. If I had to find one small thing to criticize, “dying” and “left to die” in the same line was redundant, but otherwise this was near perfect. Some of the other judges have been Euterpe stans for quite a few rounds now, but I felt like you still had more to give in prior rounds. I think this song is what I’ve been waiting for.

 

@TruGemini – Long Road
I love this change of style for you this round. In addition to the explicitly spoken word part at the end of the song, I really got that contemporary R&B/rap sing-talking feel throughout the song, like something Drake would release. This mixed with the conversational style make lyrics feel very confessional. I can see the first section being quite catchy and hooky. In a lyric writing competition, they don’t add much, but I see how they fit into the song. I thought your sung verses were nice – I especially loved “time is such a cancer/I’ll race it for an answer”. That line was pretty insightful, but still felt at home among the casual, conversational verse it sat inside. I also enjoyed your spoken section. It felt rambling at times, but also unfiltered and raw. I enjoyed the personal story about riding an Amtrak train, complete with all the accompanying sensory images. You could have cut out the last paragraph and replaced with a different ending sentence. You broke the fourth wall here, and I don’t think it was necessary or added much to the song. Still, this was one of your stronger entries this season and one I quite enjoyed, especially for its uniqueness among the other entries.

 

@JoeAg – It’s Your Shade of Blue Now
As much as I love a storytelling song, there’s a lot of power held in a singular moment. When you’re going to write a song like this, it’s best to approach it from multiple senses, painting a complete picture of the scene. I think you handled this well. I could taste the sourness of the drinks, smell the lilac, and see the well-adorned ballroom. I also like how you focused on light, mentioning it multiple times throughout the song, from the shades of blue pouring in through stained glass to the image of two men stepping into the figurative light. If anything, I think this concept could have been explored more. You may have just been referring to the color of the glass or ceramic, but mentioning a golden vase shattering seems inconsistent to me, when a vase made of gold would just bend or dent. It could have been more interesting or thematically consistent to mention how the light plays off the golden reflective surfaces of the vase, or use a material more consistent with shattering. In addition to the vase, there were a few other lines that were a bit jarring, including “we’re queer while they’re mindless” – I’m not sure mindless and queer are the best comparative adjectives. I also found it interesting that you used “mote” for a second time this season. I quite enjoyed this song – it was yet another strong entry from you, albeit slightly less polished than my favorites from you this season.

 

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Welcome, writers! This past week you've pushed the envelope and integrated the art form of Spoken Word into your songs.

We simply loved what you had to say, and now it's time for us judges to share what we have to say regarding your entries. 🗣

However, the show must go on! Prepare to leave the art of spoken word behind, as we drift into a new state of consciousness...

 

Without further ado, let me introduce you all to the fifth round of Season 2...

Ribbon-Challenge-S2-R5.png

 

Another Golden Hit original challenge! This challenge is one fountain and I conceptualised during Season 1. While we already had a schedule we were both very excited by, the prospect of a challenge focused on dreams, nightmares, and altered states of consciousness was one we couldn't wait to bring to fruition. :zzz:

 

In short, this challenge will focus on songs inspired by sleep-related altered states of consciousness (e.g. sleep, dreams, nightmares, insomnia, sleepwalking, night terrors, blackouts, comas, lucid dreaming, REM/non-REM sleep cycles, sleep paralysis etc.) The possibilities are quite honestly limitless, so I wanted to list a wide range of examples you could drift toward for this challenge beyond "writing a song about a dream" (which is also still a valid angle!) We think this is going to make for some of the most intriguing conceptual masterpieces yet, so please don't sleep on this challenge. :sleep: As always, you can be as literal or metaphorical as you desire.

 

Judge's Tips

📀 Try to recall some dreams you've had recently. Consider if they could be used as a basis for your song's narrative, or if the act of dreaming itself could be!
📀 While writing about one of the suggested sleep states is viable, originality and creativity will always be appreciated. Try combining two or more states?
📀 There are plenty of hit songs inspired by dreams, nightmares, and other sleep states. Try listening to some for inspiration, as well as the dream pop genre.

 

Songs due via Google Form submission by Thu. Sep 22, 11:59PM EST

 

fountain and I were personally very excited about this challenge, so we hope it has the same impact on you all. Dreams can be very inspiring! The top three submissions will earn their writers a Hit Token, so make sure to submit for your chance at one of those. If you have not yet signed up for Golden Hit: Season 2, that's fine! Just submit an entry and we'll add you to the sign-ups list.

 

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I've been really looking forward to this challenge... I'm very interested in it personally because I struggle with sleep problems quite a bit, and have for a majority of my life (night terrors/sleep walking, insomnia, sleep paralysis etc.) so if anybody else has any experiences in this too I'm definitely intrigued to hear about it.

 

Knowing this challenge was coming up I decided I would share one of my personal songs as an example of how this topic can be incorporated into your writing. This (very free form, like a lot of my writing) song touches on my issues with sleep, among a myriad of other topics, if anybody in interested in taking a look...

 

Spoiler

Still

 

The springs came through on my bed, and I didn’t care

Made no complaints, just kept laying there

Still do, thing is the more I think about it

This is the closest anything has wanted to be, to me

And I can understand that, in a way I appreciate it

Of the things that I’m still figuring out, the words lacking in my mouth

Innards that play on back and forths,

Like a soul bouncing across batting courts

I’ll land somewhere, I suppose, if cement or in dirt

And try to make some sense of it, without questioning my worth

But if I’m honest, I don’t think I want to land in ground that’s worn

I already have metal for that, on my mattress torn

As it digs in me, still

 

Truthfully, I am really struggling with sleep

And I don’t want to put any blame on that

They always say, is it not better to be more an optimist

I can pretend that when I lay, its some primordial acupuncture 

I read that in Japan, they sometimes sleep on the floor

I could probably try that, but it might be too bitter

It’s so cold in England, and I always think about that

Why I was born in a place like this,

When there’s plenty of others that also exist

Just a subject of circumstance, of some sort

What even goes into something like that

But I’m not all mad, sometimes the cold seems weirdly like a hug

I like to keep my window open, and feel it come upon me

But I know that it’s not something special, it’s just down to the globe

And our location, geographically, on a sphere we adorn

I’m just prone to overthink, from an active frontal lobe

I can’t see it changing, still

 

And in those moments when I can’t sleep,

I act on this a lot

The mind runs rapidly,

Wandering around as if it is lost

There’s a few things that always seem to come up

Of the people that I’ve known, all throughout life

So if I’m honest, I miss my childhood best friend, a lot

Side by side throughout primary school,

What a nostalgic time

I think about how different we were,

Yet how much we got along, despite that

How he liked football, and I never cared

But how he defended me, like a goalkeeper paired,

To be with me, regardless

There’s something so pure about that

Thinking about how I cried, and he stood up for me

I was sensitive like that,

But it was understood, and protected

How we always did all of our work together

To the degree that I didn’t realise, until after we left primary school

That you are supposed to do your school work on your own

It was just so natural for us to share 

As if one, and whatever meaning is found there 

But that’s the thing, we couldn’t then,

Because we went to different high schools

So I cried again, wanting to go to the same place as him

But my parents wouldn’t let me

I would’ve been 10, and it wouldn’t be long after that I’d last see him

But I know that he went on to do stunning things,

He joined the army,

I saw the pictures, 

And it’s so funny to think of how different we are

Back then, and even more so now

But that we were the best of friends

How authentic and wholesome that truly is

So honestly, I miss this

Life in parallel then victim to drift 

Wish it could have been different, somehow

Because that was something special lost

So I wonder what we’d talk about today, if we did

And all of the things that would have been different

If he was still my best friend

But most of all, I really just hope

That he’s a good person, still

 

I feel sorry, at most, for my old Geography teacher

I failed the class, and never got to go back

But she still hugged me, on the very last day

I had a lack of words, not acting on the things that I should say

And she still inspires me, for the person she was

And the things she went through, or still, I don’t know

She had cancer, before, but I forgot what kind

If you looked for the most positive person in the world,

It would be her that you would find

It’s been a few years, since then, and if by misfortunate she’d be gone

Then the truth is, she wouldn’t be the only one

I had a friend in high school, and I’ve always had issue with writing this

Not knowing if it was exploitative, or how I could go about it

But, she was only 8 days younger than me

When we were just 19, she died in her sleep

Not even a month from her birthday, a teenager forever

So I left university, and came back home

I had to buy new clothes, because it was my first funeral

And she was buried within those 8 days,

Between my birthday and hers

I didn’t celebrate that year

And it still feels weird

A group of us stood up at the podium,

And a speech was read out, with hands on back in support

That’s what a group of friends looks like

From the beginning, to the end

Til we may see you again

Now sometimes at night, I think about how close

The land I’m on, and the hill she’s buried

Are connected, there could be vines from one to another

It means a lot

But I’ve never revisited since that day

It feels like a place I shouldn’t be

Because, well, she shouldn’t be there either

But I should go, I really should...

I wanted to hug her mother so much, but didn’t know what to say

She looked at me, but I just didn’t know what to do

Unsure if she knew me, or remembered me,

The last time she would have encountered me

Was when I was drunk at her house,

For her daughter’s birthday

And not one of us had any ideas,

Of what we’d be doing in only a few years

I remember that day so vividly, still

 

I wanted to kill myself, 

Or nearly did,

Only a month before that happened,

Before the text I found out

That’s probably a bit blunt to say,

But, what better way?

And so when I was there,

I realised, this could have been my own funeral

That sticks with me a lot

And I don’t know if it’s wrong to say that,

If I’m just making things all about me

If anything I say is coming across eloquently,

Ever,

But what more am I meant to do

While I would really like to sleep

And I know that it won’t come

Because if it was going to, then it already would have done

So I’ll just pass the time, thinking of these things

Laying here, subject of broke springs,

Still

 

Maybe I could have a conversation with each of you

One day,

Maybe we could have a conversation together

I don’t know what we would say,

Or how it would work out

But at the very least

I would want to make it clear

That I think about you, 

All, 

Still.

 

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Thanks, Jackson! I understand how the hyacinth one might not be obvious, but I didn't want to refer to daffodils as "narcissus" in the song as I feel that would've been too...literal? Idk

 

But regardless thanks for the positive feedback <3

 

 

Cute round!

 

 

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17 minutes ago, Euterpe said:

Serving

:jonny5:

Throwback to Candlelight… should’ve won the studio session challenge imo!! 

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2 minutes ago, fountain said:

Throwback to Candlelight… should’ve won the studio session challenge imo!! 

Aw, thank you! Probably a song I’ll never top!

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14 minutes ago, fountain said:

I've been really looking forward to this challenge... I'm very interested in it personally because I struggle with sleep problems quite a bit, and have for a majority of my life (night terrors/sleep walking, insomnia, sleep paralysis etc.) so if anybody else has any experiences in this too I'm definitely intrigued to hear about it.

 

Knowing this challenge was coming up I decided I would share one of my personal songs as an example of how this topic can be incorporated into your writing. This (very free form, like a lot of my writing) song touches on my issues with sleep, among a myriad of other topics, if anybody in interested in taking a look...

 

  Reveal hidden contents

Still

 

The springs came through on my bed, and I didn’t care

Made no complaints, just kept laying there

Still do, thing is the more I think about it

This is the closest anything has wanted to be, to me

And I can understand that, in a way I appreciate it

Of the things that I’m still figuring out, the words lacking in my mouth

Innards that play on back and forths,

Like a soul bouncing across batting courts

I’ll land somewhere, I suppose, if cement or in dirt

And try to make some sense of it, without questioning my worth

But if I’m honest, I don’t think I want to land in ground that’s worn

I already have metal for that, on my mattress torn

As it digs in me, still

 

Truthfully, I am really struggling with sleep

And I don’t want to put any blame on that

They always say, is it not better to be more an optimist

I can pretend that when I lay, its some primordial acupuncture 

I read that in Japan, they sometimes sleep on the floor

I could probably try that, but it might be too bitter

It’s so cold in England, and I always think about that

Why I was born in a place like this,

When there’s plenty of others that also exist

Just a subject of circumstance, of some sort

What even goes into something like that

But I’m not all mad, sometimes the cold seems weirdly like a hug

I like to keep my window open, and feel it come upon me

But I know that it’s not something special, it’s just down to the globe

And our location, geographically, on a sphere we adorn

I’m just prone to overthink, from an active frontal lobe

I can’t see it changing, still

 

And in those moments when I can’t sleep,

I act on this a lot

The mind runs rapidly,

Wandering around as if it is lost

There’s a few things that always seem to come up

Of the people that I’ve known, all throughout life

So if I’m honest, I miss my childhood best friend, a lot

Side by side throughout primary school,

What a nostalgic time

I think about how different we were,

Yet how much we got along, despite that

How he liked football, and I never cared

But how he defended me, like a goalkeeper paired,

To be with me, regardless

There’s something so pure about that

Thinking about how I cried, and he stood up for me

I was sensitive like that,

But it was understood, and protected

How we always did all of our work together

To the degree that I didn’t realise, until after we left primary school

That you are supposed to do your school work on your own

It was just so natural for us to share 

As if one, and whatever meaning is found there 

But that’s the thing, we couldn’t then,

Because we went to different high schools

So I cried again, wanting to go to the same place as him

But my parents wouldn’t let me

I would’ve been 10, and it wouldn’t be long after that I’d last see him

But I know that he went on to do stunning things,

He joined the army,

I saw the pictures, 

And it’s so funny to think of how different we are

Back then, and even more so now

But that we were the best of friends

How authentic and wholesome that truly is

So honestly, I miss this

Life in parallel then victim to drift 

Wish it could have been different, somehow

Because that was something special lost

So I wonder what we’d talk about today, if we did

And all of the things that would have been different

If he was still my best friend

But most of all, I really just hope

That he’s a good person, still

 

I feel sorry, at most, for my old Geography teacher

I failed the class, and never got to go back

But she still hugged me, on the very last day

I had a lack of words, not acting on the things that I should say

And she still inspires me, for the person she was

And the things she went through, or still, I don’t know

She had cancer, before, but I forgot what kind

If you looked for the most positive person in the world,

It would be her that you would find

It’s been a few years, since then, and if by misfortunate she’d be gone

Then the truth is, she wouldn’t be the only one

I had a friend in high school, and I’ve always had issue with writing this

Not knowing if it was exploitative, or how I could go about it

But, she was only 8 days younger than me

When we were just 19, she died in her sleep

Not even a month from her birthday, a teenager forever

So I left university, and came back home

I had to buy new clothes, because it was my first funeral

And she was buried within those 8 days,

Between my birthday and hers

I didn’t celebrate that year

And it still feels weird

A group of us stood up at the podium,

And a speech was read out, with hands on back in support

That’s what a group of friends looks like

From the beginning, to the end

Til we may see you again

Now sometimes at night, I think about how close

The land I’m on, and the hill she’s buried

Are connected, there could be vines from one to another

It means a lot

But I’ve never revisited since that day

It feels like a place I shouldn’t be

Because, well, she shouldn’t be there either

But I should go, I really should...

I wanted to hug her mother so much, but didn’t know what to say

She looked at me, but I just didn’t know what to do

Unsure if she knew me, or remembered me,

The last time she would have encountered me

Was when I was drunk at her house,

For her daughter’s birthday

And not one of us had any ideas,

Of what we’d be doing in only a few years

I remember that day so vividly, still

 

I wanted to kill myself, 

Or nearly did,

Only a month before that happened,

Before the text I found out

That’s probably a bit blunt to say,

But, what better way?

And so when I was there,

I realised, this could have been my own funeral

That sticks with me a lot

And I don’t know if it’s wrong to say that,

If I’m just making things all about me

If anything I say is coming across eloquently,

Ever,

But what more am I meant to do

While I would really like to sleep

And I know that it won’t come

Because if it was going to, then it already would have done

So I’ll just pass the time, thinking of these things

Laying here, subject of broke springs,

Still

 

Maybe I could have a conversation with each of you

One day,

Maybe we could have a conversation together

I don’t know what we would say,

Or how it would work out

But at the very least

I would want to make it clear

That I think about you, 

All, 

Still.

 

:heart2:

 

Lemme share something later today if I have time since I still need to pack for my trip. :skull: I have a few dream-related songs, I think? I can think of at least one.

 

1 minute ago, fountain said:

Throwback to Candlelight… should’ve won the studio session challenge imo!! 

Took the words right out of my mouth... I was going to say "Candlelight, Pt. II" on the horizon? :duca:

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4 minutes ago, Aurora said:

:heart2:

Took the words right out of my mouth... I was going to say "Candlelight, Pt. II" on the horizon? :duca:

Oh my, don’t everyone get their hopes up. :dies:

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I'm willing to bet my entry will be this season's most unique and by far the most disturbing yet through-provoking

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Just kidding, the real Round 5 is for everyone to write their verse to the future smash hit "Period Ahh, Period Uhh" by none other than Britt Barbie.

 

 

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