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Golden Hit: Season 2 📀 R5: Reviews posted, results 7 EST 💤 R6: Mix N Match (pg. 50)


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5 hours ago, Achilles. said:

It’s not a very festive song, just one that’s set at Christmastime. :cm: 

When you think about it AIWFC is about Mariah being thirsty for a man during Christmas time.

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Working on final charts and hit tokens from the BLACKGOLD event now! Don't worry, I haven't forgotten, I've just had a very busy week. :zzz:

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Rank Writer Song Title Score
1 @Legend E “Spa Night” 9.4
2 @hurricane326 “Mortal Muse” 8.645
3 @worldwide angel “clarity control” 8.438
4 @Euterpe “Five Stages” 8.25
5 @Julia Fox “vintage” 8.025
6 @Hug “Checkmate” 7.963
7 @JoeAg “Nightlife Empress” 7.525
8 @TruGemini “Little White Lie” 7.463
9 @Achilles. “Good Enough for Me” 7.4
10 @Temporal “In Spades” 7.3
11 @beatinglikeadrum “Running away from the sun” 7.213
12 @Augmented “Rule The Game” 6.838
13 @Kylie Jenner “Big Girl (Bang Bang)” 6.775
14 @XO_Life “Drink That Up” 5.463
15 @Better Mistakes “Me and The Girls” 4.85

 

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On 9/3/2022 at 3:33 AM, fountain said:

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Round 2: The Girl Group Challenge, Part 1 

(Future Grammy Award Winner Yin Yin edition)

 

@Euterpe - Five Stages

Ahh glad to see that you took advantage of the Spotify playlist!

It’s evident looking at your description of the song that a lot of thought went into this, and that you carefully consulted the persona that Yin Yin has been given and the details that have been written about her. Really, you have done a fantastic job of taking the information that was given and applying it to your song, because it is very, very fitting for her. Obviously Yin Yin is not a real person, but reading your song it is almost as if she could be, because you’ve taken the ideas that were presented and have created something out of it that really does represent her. There wasn’t any moment throughout the song that I thought, “this doesn’t sound like something Yin Yin could say”; and again, she’s not even a real person, so for me to feel that all of this could indeed be coming from her shows what a great job you’ve done. Lyrically your writing is as strong as ever, it is really balanced with everything that was described of her character and her wants; the song is personal but not overly, retaining the enigmatic sense to it while also accurately demonstrating her emotion and what occurred within the group in her own way, while also bringing in her psychology background, and it really feels incredibly well done. Ultimately I would say this is a perfect interpretation of the challenge for me, you’ve done an amazing job at writing for this made up persona, while also having a song that is strong and stands on its own regardless of the challenge at hand. Very good job!

 

@Better Mistakes - Me and the Girls

Okay, so. I will say it… this might be my favourite song from you yet? 

Were you expecting that? 

Is it the most fitting example of something for Yin Yin? Not really; but in a way you were smart to pick her, honestly, since with her enigmatic persona you truly could do anything with her, and this is at the very least a good example of that. It’s obviously not the expected route, but I appreciate it nonetheless. And, as I said, I think this might be my favourite song from you thus far. It’s very irreverent which we’ve seen you trend towards more, but it’s also a great example of an absurd and vulgar song that can still feel well written; there are many great references and puns thrown in and ultimately it’s a really fun read. For Yin Yin this might be unconventional, but for you I think this is strong. Good job!

A few specific lyrics worth singling out: “Black gold in my ***** folds”, “Jessie J and Nelson but hot”, “The only Xi Jinping I want is if my phone pings and it’s hot”.

 

@worldwide angel - clarity control

I love this. Your writing is straight up beautiful, this song is incredibly poetic and full of meaning and open to interpretation, and I think this is a wonderful and very fitting take on what Yin Yin was aiming for. You’ve hit exactly what she was going for with the song clearly being personal and emotional, yet also being still enigmatic and open to interpretation; the lyrics say so much, but leave the reader wanting to know more and still missing the exact details, yet it’s still incredibly satisfying to read and explore the possible meanings behind the clearly intentional words. I loved your song last round too, but I would say this already feels like a step up for you, the writing here is just so exquisite.  The imagery throughout is absolutely stunning and diverse, really evoking the reader in multiple vivid ways yet still all feeling purposeful and  relevant to the overall song and its story, which sometimes can be a very difficult balance to strike. I felt your last entry deserved better in terms of score and rankings, and I really hope this one gets the praise it definitely deserves, because I’m very impressed again from you! Perfect, really good job.

 

@Legend E - Spa Night

In terms of taking Yin Yin’s open personal life and creating a story, this is definitely the entry which has done this the best. You’ve taken the general ideas given and created this pretty heavy, developed backstory that is absolutely fitting for what could have happened to her and what she may have been going through. It does a really good job of both opening her up to her audience as she begins her solo endeavours, but also revealing what happened behind her infamous hiatus and walking off stage moment, and you’ve clearly done an excellent job of paying attention to the information given and using that to your advantage to create a song that is very fitting for her personal story. If I have any criticism, I would say that the song only slightly misses the mark in one way and that’s in taking on her more enigmatic persona; while this is a great personal song which is something that was aimed for in her songs, it’s also extremely revealing which in general is not a bad thing but if we are looking specifically at her character she is described as leaving things more open to interpretation and enigmatic, so I think if I had to have any criticism that would be the only thing - but this is a very minor thing and is only related to the challenge at hand, if we look at the song specifically by itself then this criticism is irrelevant. I want to in particular praise the outro of the song which I think has some really beautiful lyrics, specifically the final two lines of each section in the outro, which I thought were just wonderful. Overall I think this is a strong entry from you, it reminds me of White Flag in that it has some similar themes and I think it certainly is up there as one of your best and most emotionally resonant songs so far. Good job!

 

On 9/4/2022 at 7:42 AM, fountain said:

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Round 2: The Girl Group Challenge, Part 2 

flop edition #1 (Aria Thurney, Diana Diamond, Audrey Onyx)

 

@hurricane326 - Mortal Muse

This is fabulous. I think you’ve perfectly captured that intense essence that you were looking for in writing for Aria, however I would argue that this is equally - or perhaps even more so - fitting for Yin Yin since it is coming from such an emotionally scorned place, and that was one of the key features of Yin Yin’s background. When I imagined her story and experiences, I imagined - and hoped - a song like this could be written; that is to say that I absolutely love this, regardless of which name it was submitted under. Like every other song I have read from you, this is strong from top to bottom, and there is something completely effortless about how you create and paint different pictures with your wonderful lyricism, and that none have ever felt unneeded, or unnecessary, or lesser. It’s as though every part of your songs always plays part into the bigger picture of the overall piece, and the overall story; you always strike a perfect balance and this is something that has become evident to me after reading your writing from both seasons. It’s incredibly impressive, and there’s no doubt to the fact of how gifted and talented you are as a writer, and of course all this praise is accompanied by my main point which is that this song is no different. Another very great job. 

 

@Julia Fox - vintage

I think this is perfectly fitting for Audrey, it does have that very indie-pop, Tumblr-esque, personal diary essence that I can relate that to, but it also, as you aimed for, still feels very you, as opposed to a cosplay, I think you’ve still retained your individuality and style while also fitting the challenge. I think this is one of the strongest submissions you have had yet, this feels very refined and I think this has some of your best and most vivid lyricism yet; in some of your other songs some things have got a little muddled or confused at times, but this time everything is straight to the point and clear. Evidently, the Julia Fox songwriting growth is continual! The central premise of the song is really great too, comparing a relationship that was once full of love, which has now come to pass and turned sour, as feeling vintage is really clever. Overall I would definitely say this is up there as one of your best songs yet, you’re really bringing it this season and it’s clear what growth you have made as a writer through your participation which is absolutely something you should be proud of. Great job.

 

@XO_Life - Drink That Up

I do think that taking on a song like this was a risk. The positives are that it really is undeniably catchy, both from the voice memo you shared but also the lyrics themselves, they certainly sound like something that could’ve been a hit around 2012 or so. It’s also definitely fitting for Diana, since clearly she wanted to go down the pop route, and this certainly is that to the core. However, I do think there are some genuine criticisms to be made. You said this yourself but the song is very repetitive, you’re aware of this and sure it aids the catchiness and the “this song is stuck in my head and won’t get out” factor, but it means there is much less chance to impress us lyrically when entire sections of the song (eg. the bridge) is just a copy and paste of an earlier section (the chorus) which itself is already 4/7 lines of “I’m drinking that up”. Secondly, while the description for Diana was obviously aiming at a pop song which could be a smash (which this certainly is), it also stated she was looking for songs with colourful metaphors and imagery, of which this song is definitely lacking. I think the main point to make is that just because a song is pop, or is aiming to be a hit, doesn’t mean that it has to be basic; for as many hit songs as there are about drinking, there are even more that have an interesting premise and memorable, unique lyrics. Now, it’s hard to be too tough because this song obviously is a very valid interpretation of what Diana Diamond is looking for, and it was probably quite fun to write and envision too, but this is definitely some advice for the future that it is important to make sure that your songs are 1. unique to yourself as a writer, and 2. interesting to read, which unfortunately I would say this song was neither, and I’m sure that you can achieve these things, it is just that this song is not an example of it. Ultimately, it’s clear that your aim here was to write a fun, summer, carefree pop song, and in that I would agree you succeeded.

 

@Hug - Checkmate

I definitely would say this is fitting for Aria, a song that can be open to interpretation and takes a more unusual concept and execution, so you’ve succeeded in the challenge. Overall I enjoyed the song, but I do think I have a few criticisms. The description of what Aria was looking for also mentioned have hard hitting one liner lyrics, and I would say throughout the song there weren’t any specific lyrics that jumped out to me or made me say “that was a really great/interesting idea”, which is odd because I’d say that’s something you usually are pretty good at, I felt rather that the lyrics while remaining to the central theme and always relevant to the song, didn’t really stick out in any certain way either (neither bad or good). And while I do think that the song is an interesting read, I don’t really agree with you where you said it is more a song about chess with romantic metaphors as opposed to a song about romance with chess metaphors. Overall the song is very comparable to Shadow by f(x) I think (the concept of each song is pretty much the same but rather with a different metaphor used instead) and I think the main thing that makes that song walk the line and be very interesting and playful with it’s lyrics is that it doesn’t use any gendered pronoun language. With that, it’s very easy for the song to walk that line and read in both ways as a song about a shadow, but also a romantic song. Whereas here, with the heavy use of gendered pronouns throughout your song (they are in every section of the song apart from the first verse, with which I would argue the first verse is the strongest and excels at your aim the best) it’s hard to detach from the image of the counterpart to the song being a “he”, with which the picture that is assumed in your mind is that of a man, rather than a chess piece, because if you’re a referring to a chess piece you are more likely to use language such a it/they, which I think would’ve made your song stronger overall and more fitting with the concept. Hopefully I explained that properly and it makes sense, but I guess the tldr is that when you constantly refer to a “he” throughout your song you ultimately end up making the read imagine a man, as opposed to a chess piece, through which I felt the song didn’t appear more as a song about chess as opposed to a song about a romantic relationship, and didn’t have the balance and ambiguity of something like Shadow by f(x). All that said, the song itself is still strong, there were just some missed opportunities I feel, but the overall idea and the execution is good, it just perhaps could have been taken further and pushed more into its originality and concept. 

 

@beatinglikeadrum - Running Away From the Sun

Yup no doubt at all that this is better than last round!

I think you’ve done the challenge well and that this is fitting for Audrey, it’s got that confessional and personal “I wrote this in my bedroom” vibe that she is going for, but I also find it to be quite suited for Yin Yin too with how it looks at the darker side of the success, and wanting to escape it (which was one of Yin Yin’s main themes). That said, it doesn’t matter who you submitted it for, as it’s a good interpretation of the challenge regardless. Lyrically I think this is strong too, there’s lots of really lovely imagery, and I enjoy the overall environmental and natural feel to the song, from the mentions of waterfalls, the Milky Way, water, the ocean, wind, the sky, and of course the sun; overall this was all very nice and I think worked well with your song and also the story being told and the central theme. Altogether, I think this is a good entry and certainly shows your skills as a writer much better than last round, of course it’s a disservice to compare this to your submission last round because that was obviously more of an irreverent entry, but it’s evident that you clicked with this challenge easier and I’m glad you did, and hopefully it’s the same for the future rounds! As a final note, I’d love to see you go even further and push yourself to write a more poetic song; I felt a few poetic hints here and I think it would be interesting to see you really channel your poetic side and see how deep you can take it, that is if you wish to.

 

On 9/5/2022 at 5:04 AM, fountain said:

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Round 2: The Girl Group Challenge, Part 3

flop edition #2 (Aria Thurney, Diana Diamond, Audrey Onyx)

 

@Kylie Jenner - Big Girl (Bang Bang)

Let me start with discussing the soundcloud link, omg truly a bop tbh! Porter Robinson who? Go off vocaloid. This was genuinely very fun to listen to and the song really is catchy, it’s catchiness is probably the most distinct feature I get from it so in that way I would probably say it feels somewhat more fitting for Diana Diamond to me, but that’s subjective I suppose. The bang bang a bang part really gives me kpop hook vibes, and I can’t say how long that’s going to be stuck in my head :rip:. Lyrically, I like that you went for a feminist theme, but it did feel quite juvenile (especially with the title “big girl”) and not as nuanced as it could have been, specifically with Aria Thurney as the chosen artist, so I think that was a bit of a miss. I think the ideas are there, and the sensibility for a catchy song is certainly there, but the lyrics could have been taken further. In comparison to your last entry the writing honestly wasn’t as strong, but I don’t think that was your aim in particular with this song, and you’ve already proven that you can serve good lyrical content from your last entry, so I don’t think it’s that big of a deal; since we’ve have two differing songs from you thus far i'm interested in seeing what way you go next, but my advice would be to just try and ensure that the writing is always top notch even if going for a more fun song, the lyricism can still be there and doesn’t have to be traded for catchiness. 

 

@JoeAg - Nightlife Empress

Stan Kesha! Instant 10 from me.

I don’t know if it’s because you mentioned her for your token request, but when reading this I tried to imagine her singing it, and I certainly could, so in that way I would definitely say you have succeeded in the challenge and written something fitting for a pop star like Diana Diamond. This song has a great, fun and playful nighttime vibe to it, with the singer having nice cheeky moments throughout the song which give it a good energy. I think this is an interesting take for you, because I definitely know you more for your more internal, thoughtful and nuanced lyrics. It’s nice to see your more fun and carefree side to it, and this shows some versatility as a writer - and of course it’s very fitting for the challenge - however I would say that on a personal level I resonate more with your more unique and personal style. Overall I think this is a good entry, there’s nothing really to fault it for and it’s a spot on interpretation of Diana Diamond, it’s nice to see this coy and irreverent side however it’s obviously not your most poignant song or the one that would show off your writing skills the best, and I’m sure you’d probably agree with that too; but, not every song has to be that.

 

@Augmented - Rule the Game

Honestly I would have to agree that this does feel a little cobbled together. I think it’s an interesting and fitting premise, but I don’t think it really goes far enough, both in its concept and its lyrical execution. Picking Aria gives you a good chance to write an interesting song about her discontent with the group, and I like that you chose this theme, but the overall concept of just using the metaphor of fame being like a game is quite standard and unoriginal, which isn’t necessarily bad itself if the song is written in an interesting way or with a unique twist, but similarly to the concept being quite middle ground I felt the writing was too. In the past we’ve seen some highly emotive and personal writing from you, and unfortunately this song just didn’t live up to the highs of those, throughout I don’t think there are any specific standout lyrics that are hard hitting or memorable which is why I agree with you saying it feels cobbled together, and this was one of the descriptors for what Aria was looking for so it’s a bit of a miss. Overall I think that the idea and the intention was there, it’s just that the execution didn’t work out, but it’s inevitable that this happens sometimes with any writer. Unfortunately this is not your strongest, but we already know you to be a great writer, so I can only assume that you’ll bounce back next round.

 

@Temporal - In Spades

In a bit of bad luck there ended up already being 2 other songs revolving around game metaphors for Aria, so by now the concept definitely feels beaten to death and not exactly original (which was part of what Aria wanted). Instead of just criticising the concept though, luckily I can say that it is the writing that sticks out to me more here. I think even though it’s an idea that we’ve seen multiple times now, your writing is still strong throughout the song, which makes this case more redeemable. I also think it’s quite fitting that you overall went for a more confident style in the lyrics, as I think this matches well with what I understand of Aria’s personality, and pairs well with the vision you had of this being a very statement piece single along the likes of songs like Look What You Made Me Do or Gimme More. I will say though, it does feel a little short - and maybe this was you trying to write to a pop song formula - but I felt it could’ve been taken further and that the concept could’ve been more developed; and if it had been perhaps it could’ve ended up appearing more unique by the end of it, if you could have explored different areas throughout the song. In particular I’m referring to the second verse and bridge which are both very short at only 4 lines each, and this was a similar case with your first entry. Personally I don’t really believe in the idea of “less is more”, for me more is more, and I’m always happy to see a longer song submitted where we can get more of an opportunity to explore ideas and be impressed by somebody’s write, as opposed to a song that feels cut short to fit a formula; so my advice to your for the future would be to try and submit something more fleshed out and longer, or perhaps we’ll have to bring the ATWTV10MVFTV challenge back again (writing a song over 500 words). Overall I think this is a good entry, while the concept isn’t super enticing your writing makes up for it somewhat, but it would be nice to see a bit more of it I think.

 

@Achilles. - Good Enough for Me

I think this is a fine song but it misses the mark in its interpretation of the challenge. I think the main aspiration for Aria Thurney’s music was that it was supposed to explore novel concepts, and an empowerment breakup song is obviously the exact opposite of novel. That said, I like the song. I think it’s a good exploration of what it feels like to lack control and to be losing something, and this is evident and discussed nicely through the alternate choruses. The story feels complete too, and comes together very nicely with the bridge and the final chorus, where she comes to the realisation that she should be more focused on making things good enough for her, and not for somebody else; quite commonly in this game I’ve noticed that people submit songs where the story doesn’t really go anywhere, it’s a look at a specific moment and a snapshot of somebody’s life, yet it never explores anything that happened before or afterwards so lacks context, to me when writing songs with a strong narrative it’s important to remember that stories are made up, importantly, of beginning, middle, and end, and if you’re writing a song that offers only one of these perspectives then, at least for me, it feels like I’m missing something, but in this case of this song I felt you helped make it quite well rounded with that final chorus and the bridge and illusions to the past throughout, and I guess this is just a pointer if you choose to write similar story focused songs in the future that this is something I appreciated and typically look for in these type of songs. Overall while I think you missed the mark challenge wise, this is a strong song in itself and another good entry from you.

 

@TruGemini - Little White Lie

When I think about it, Diana was the perfect choice for you, which I hadn’t even considered, since your writing is just so full of rhythm that it’s hard for it not to jump off the page, and I think this fits with what Diana’s aim was with very catchy, melodic music. It’s definitely a more thoughtful take on Diana as opposed to “lemme write a pop banger” which seemed to be as far as others went, and I definitely appreciate your effort in trying to make the song not be one note, and I would personally say you achieved the challenge well. Lyrically I think it’s good, I like that you tried to tell this cheating and blackmailing story but for me the narrative could’ve used expanding more, while the song explores how the person is feeling about this situation very well, it doesn’t actually explore the situation itself that much (by which I mean, we hear a lot about how this person is feeling in the aftermath of this, but we don’t actually hear about what happened between them all, if that makes sense, which I think would’ve made the song overall stronger if it had more of this context and set up for these feelings). Ultimately I think this is another good entry for you, fitting for the challenge and an interesting concept, but lyrically not the strongest that we’ve seen from you.

Compiling all of @fountain's R2 reviews for the Golden Links post. :psych:

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Hey, Hitmakers! Round 3's Deciduous challenge has shed its last leaves, and your judges are reviewing your organic smash hits, naturally!

While fountain is preparing to launch Round 4 of Golden Hit, we still have the matter of awarding Hit Tokens for Round 2's BLɅϽKGO⅃D event.
Remember, if you've only just discovered Golden Hit or didn't wish to participate in prior rounds, fear not: sign-ups are still open—just submit!


With that, it's time to present the top three of last round's Girl Group challenge with their bonus prizes: the Hit Tokens!

I've reviewed the requests from our trio of top writers for the week, and done my best to grant them for embossment.

 

:matty:

 

Celebrating a third place triumph with “clarity control” and its clarifying 8.438 score:

Avatar-BronzeCoin-S2-R2-worldwideangel.png

Here is your Bronze Hit Token embossed with your ATRL username and Janet Jackson. :3rdplace:

Congratulations on your first Hit Token in your Golden Hit debut!

 

 

Celebrating a second place success with “Mortal Muse” and its amusing 8.645 score:

Avatar-SilverCoin-S2-R2-hurricane326.png

Here is your Silver Hit Token embossed with your requested name and a hurricane. :2ndplace:

Congratulations! Please let us know if you would like a different graphic on any prospective future tokens.

 

 

Celebrating a first place finish with “Spa Night” and its rejuvenating 9.4 score:

Avatar-GoldCoin-S2-R2-LegendE.png

Here is your Golden Hit Token embossed with your ATRL username and Jessie Ware (What's Your Pleasure? era). :1stplace:

Congratulations on your first #1 Golden Hit! You've come so far since "White Flag", and never surrendered.

 

I hope you all enjoy your Hit Tokens as much as I did making them! Feel free to use them as a forum avatar if you wish, or just let them be a reminder of your time in Golden Hit—ultimately the choice is yours, and if for whatever reason you are dissatisfied with your token or simply wish to change the embossed graphic/text please contact me and I can arrange a remake. Remember, the top writers of each round will earn their own Hit Token just like the three above, so make sure to submit each week for the best chance to claim one of these bonus prizes. :lee:

 

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Whew we stan a collection. Both beautiful, thank you, Aurora :weeps: 

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6 minutes ago, Legend E said:

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Whew we stan a collection. Both beautiful, thank you, Aurora :weeps: 

The way they're almost facing one another... iconic honestly. Now you just need to place second and select a photo that is staring straight ahead to complete the trinity! :matty:

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Just now, Aurora said:

The way they're almost facing one another... iconic honestly. Now you just need to place second and select a photo that is staring straight ahead to complete the trinity! :matty:

ffvsdzvd; a concept!

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Just now, Legend E said:

ffvsdzvd; a concept!

Already serving with your golden hit token avatar I see! I must say you look good in gold. :clap3:

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Just now, Aurora said:

Already serving with your golden hit token avatar I see! I must say you look good in gold. :clap3:

thank you :weeps: 

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And with that, Round 2 is officially tied up, and the Golden Links in the second post of this thread has been updated with all current important links. Hopefully in the distant future when Golden Hit is in its 33rd season and we're borrowing challenges from the past decades, this will be helpful! :keir:

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3 hours ago, Aurora said:

 

 

Compiling all of @fountain's R2 reviews for the Golden Links post. :psych:

Oop sorry I forgot to do this. If you want I can edit them all into one 

 

2 hours ago, Aurora said:

Emblem-Banner-S2.png

 

Hey, Hitmakers! Round 3's Deciduous challenge has shed its last leaves, and your judges are reviewing your organic smash hits, naturally!

While fountain is preparing to launch Round 4 of Golden Hit, we still have the matter of awarding Hit Tokens for Round 2's BLɅϽKGO⅃D event.
Remember, if you've only just discovered Golden Hit or didn't wish to participate in prior rounds, fear not: sign-ups are still open—just submit!


With that, it's time to present the top three of last round's Girl Group challenge with their bonus prizes: the Hit Tokens!

I've reviewed the requests from our trio of top writers for the week, and done my best to grant them for embossment.

 

:matty:

 

Celebrating a third place triumph with “clarity control” and its clarifying 8.438 score:

Avatar-BronzeCoin-S2-R2-worldwideangel.png

Here is your Bronze Hit Token embossed with your ATRL username and Janet Jackson. :3rdplace:

Congratulations on your first Hit Token in your Golden Hit debut!

 

 

Celebrating a second place success with “Mortal Muse” and its amusing 8.645 score:

Avatar-SilverCoin-S2-R2-hurricane326.png

Here is your Silver Hit Token embossed with your requested name and a hurricane. :2ndplace:

Congratulations! Please let us know if you would like a different graphic on any prospective future tokens.

 

 

Celebrating a first place finish with “Spa Night” and its rejuvenating 9.4 score:

Avatar-GoldCoin-S2-R2-LegendE.png

Here is your Golden Hit Token embossed with your ATRL username and Jessie Ware (What's Your Pleasure? era). :1stplace:

Congratulations on your first #1 Golden Hit! You've come so far since "White Flag", and never surrendered.

 

I hope you all enjoy your Hit Tokens as much as I did making them! Feel free to use them as a forum avatar if you wish, or just let them be a reminder of your time in Golden Hit—ultimately the choice is yours, and if for whatever reason you are dissatisfied with your token or simply wish to change the embossed graphic/text please contact me and I can arrange a remake. Remember, the top writers of each round will earn their own Hit Token just like the three above, so make sure to submit each week for the best chance to claim one of these bonus prizes. :lee:

 

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Looking great everybody, congrats again :clap3:

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5 hours ago, fountain said:

Oop sorry I forgot to do this. If you want I can edit them all into one 

 

Looking great everybody, congrats again :clap3:

Entirely up to you! I think the quote post works okay though. :heart:

 

Speaking of reviews, I've just finished mine for Round 3's Deciduous challenge and sent off my scores as I will be working all day tomorrow. Expect them to be posted in the thread within the next 15 minutes or so! It was a pretty strong round, my highest average scored yet in fact. :cupid:

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Hey, Hitmakers! Reading your Deciduous submissions for Round 3 was such a fantastic way to end my week after the busy work schedule I've had. 🌳

It's been wonderful seeing you bloom and flourish throughout the tournament, and this week was no exception. Hopefully these reviews help you grow!

If there is anything in your review that you do not wish to have public (lyric excerpts, references to your material etc.) I will remove it upon request.

 

 

1. @hurricane326 - “Love Under a Blue Tarp”

Wow, you really said, “Golden Hit Season 1 was fun and all, but Golden Hit Season 2 is MINE,” huh? (2) This was such a moving piece—I didn’t anticipate anything so personal from this challenge but evidently this song just came to you almost instantaneously, and I’m so glad it did and you were willing to share it. I’ve enjoyed seeing your diversity this season, you’ve proven you have a strong mastery of both commercial formulaic writing and more poetic, story-first lyricism such as this. The differing imagery of the oaks reaching down and around, being felled, and serving as a backdrop to a temporary home were all done so wonderfully, making them the perfect centrepiece for this song. The titular lyric ties everything up so well, and usage of words such as “uprooted” and “branched out” throughout didn’t come across as inserted just to reinforce the tree theme, but natural inclusions within the context of the story being told also. This honestly puts my 2017 song “Katrina” to shame. Being about a hurricane at that, this felt like somewhat of a personal magnum opus, which is difficult to say given your discography this season has already been so strong. I think you’ve done it again, and I think this tournament is all but yours to lose at this point.


Judge’s note: I read your first submission prior to reading your revised entry, and honestly I enjoyed it as it was more. That’s not to say I didn’t enjoy the additional verses, but comparatively the tree references felt marginally more forced, and the explicitly stated personal details made it marginally less accessible. That said, it’s not going to impact your score as I enjoyed the original version so much.

2. @Hug - “Welcome to the Club”
The font choice, chile... lucky I just got new glasses yesterday. This was a touching narrative, and I can definitely see evidence of refinement and attention to detail throughout. This might sound like an odd critique, but my favourite part about this song isn’t actually the narrative or lyrics themselves, but the writing techniques displayed. I like how the choruses differed, but mirrored each other in key ways, such as the use of the four emotions in the sixth lines of the first two choruses. I also really enjoyed the bridge—which was my favourite part of the song—and its unconventional ABC CBA DD rhyme scheme. Your use of “oblivious/obvious” in the second verse was also appreciated. Conceptually, it’s a tangential albeit perfectly reasonably fit for the challenge, so nothing to worry about there. My main piece of constructive criticism is related to the narrative itself; it doesn’t offer much originality, and reads like a very familiar tale of childhood friends growing apart, unrequited love, and regret following loss. Despite the refinement, some lyrics did still read like inclusions to fit the rhyme and fill the story rather than saying anything in their own right, such as, “I ran until sweat was dripping down my face,” or, “I liked you so much that my thoughts became a mess.” Your technical proficiency is sound, and I’d love to see that skill applied to a more remarkable concept.

3. @XO_Life - “Old Oak Tree”
Your “Sad Girl Autumn” era is here, I see! This is 100% my favourite submission from you in Golden Hit thus far. I definitely got the Red era vibes, but let’s be honest, who hasn’t been at least a little inspired by Ms. Swift at one point or another. I’m glad you were inspired by this era and not the more obvious folklore or evermore, as it’s my favourite of hers! The strongest moments here are your use of imagery, such as the lonely fireflies guiding with their gleaming light, or the carving of initials in a heart into the oak. Utilising the deciduous nature of the tree to help convey the narrative was exactly what I had in mind for this challenge, and you’ve done it well. Your chorus is simple yet effective. The second verse escalates a little quickly for me, I would have liked to see the narrative spread out over two additional verses rather than trying to pack so much into the one, including a five year time jump. I loved the usage of “camouflage clothes”, it was a perfectly understated way of conveying someone leaving for war/the army, however the following “ice cold bullets” lyric could have benefited from this understated imagery while conveying the same narrative conclusion. All in all, this piece displayed tremendous growth from you and I look forward to your submissions in the coming rounds!

4. @Julia Fox - “Coconut Tree”
I am glad you decided to submit something, despite not being inspired this week. “vintage” felt like a real turning point for you as a writer, a culmination of everything you’ve displayed during your time writing for Golden Hit thus far combined with your knowledge of the specific artists’ styles, and you wrote a fantastic song as a result. Unfortunately, I can’t say this song has many of those qualities. There are glimmers of greatness here though: “crystalline blue deep caribbean sea / you are my favorite spot to be in” would be a stellar lyric in a romantic love song expressing one’s devotion, honestly. The usage of “palm” was also fittingly clever in this context. The “coconut, coconut, oh” hook would probably be really catchy, but on paper it fails to impress. It’s not my favourite offering from you, but it’s decently crafted for a song of this style, and will no doubt serve your season average better than a non-submission.

5. @Euterpe - “God-given”
I’ve really enjoyed getting to see your writing style develop and flourish throughout your time submitting for Golden Hit. You have this natural, grounded, earthly vibe to your writing which is very interesting and refreshing, and almost always comes from a place of realism and being literal. As such, it really comes as no surprise your song is narrated from the perspective of the personification of a tree. :laugh: This was beautifully written as always, and really did convey the similarities between humans and trees in a thought-provoking manner. The bridge was my favourite part of this piece, and was a perfect callback to that deciduous nature the challenge was hoping to highlight. I do take issue with the modified final chorus, only because, “I do not think I do,” isn’t a suitable answer to the question, “Would I be happier as you?” and reads as if you’ve broken syntax just to land on a rhyme. It’s a minor qualm though, and would be easily corrected. I enjoyed your unique approach to this challenge utilising what is becoming your style, and I am glad you didn’t disappoint.

6. @Allday - “Red”
Ms. Swift’s Red era continues not to disappoint! In all honesty I have no idea if this was inspired by Red, but that’s okay. I definitely enjoyed this offering more than “Animal For You”, and I think your selection of maple trees was a solid one since they have such a distinct and well-known leaf shape that instantly springs to mind. I’ll be honest, I don’t really know how “polonaise” fits in here, some clarification there would be great. The commitment to the red imagery was important for this song, and I’m glad you did just that, such as in the second verse… switching it up with “auburn thoughts” was nice, too! I love a good rap feature, and while the idea of its addition excited me, it didn’t read as much of a rap in all honesty, which calls for a different style of writing such as close-knit rhyming, rap metaphors, double entendres, clever references etc. (was “wearwear” a typo, by chance?) I don’t mean to discourage you from including rap verses in your songs if you wish, quite the opposite! Overall this was definitely stronger than your prior submission in my opinion, and I look forward to what you have to share next.

7. @worldwide angel - “Sweet Revival”
Yet another conceptually intriguing entry from you! You’re becoming somewhat of a breakout star of the season, I fear. This took the deciduous prompt the challenge highlighted and equated it to a beautiful metaphor of life beyond death. It’s simplistic, but simplicity done well. Even down to the addition of “slow September” in the opening verse, taking inspiration from the current month and its seasonal characteristics was a wonderful addition. I too have had those late night moments of panicked reluctance to accept that everything will eventually come to an end, but ultimately as we often see in nature, sometimes an end can mean a new beginning, and I think this is just the beginning for you as a writer. Lovely submission, probably my favourite of yours thus far. Looking forward to seeing what else you have in store for us!

8. @beatinglikeadrum - “The King”
Not you predicting certain current events with this title... your mind. :eek: Not the deciduous challenge shaping up to be the most acclaimed so far (from me, anyway), I had a feeling the trees would rise above! This was another refreshingly unique take on the challenge, I never anticipated the medieval vibes and references to King Arthur. The inclusion of references to druids and Celtic winds really shaped this song’s narrative from early on, which was a fantastic way to establish and set the scene. I do wish you had elaborated a little in the other information section, as there are a few things that I wouldn’t have minded being unpacked a bit, but you committed to the vibe of this piece throughout and I think it would make for a really interesting Celtic fusion folk-type song. It’s certainly one of the most unique interpretations of the challenge, and I enjoyed it for that!

9. @Legend E - “Sycamore”
Hmm... well okay. That’s probably not the idyllic beginning to any review, but I will clarify by saying I did enjoy this song. I do have many little constructive criticisms though: firstly, the length. Your “other information” is *much* longer than your actual song! That’s a bit of a red flag. The concept of the song was so common that connecting it to a specific film seemed rather unnecessary to mention, and also the interpolation of Adam and Eve, after not one but TWO songs relating to this were already written in R1... it’s all just a tad bizarre. As for the song itself, it’s a lovely little piece of writing. Beautiful, stunning, graduations, weddings, funerals etc. but I would like to see MORE. This is perhaps where your film inspiration may have actually held you back, since it seems you worked within the synopsis of the film with your own spin, rather than creating a narrative entirely of your own and being able to craft it around the song rather than the song around it. Just some food for thought! I did like what you have, and I will score it as such. Moving forward, I would enjoy seeing more investment into the lyrics as opposed to describing them.

10. @Gavin. - “Roots Keep Me Here”
Conceptually, I think you have something really interesting here, and something I can relate to personally a lot. Having read so many songs about trees already, there’s a lot of overlap here with some of the other submissions: highlighting oak trees in particular, carving names into bark, the falling autumn leaves etc. We’ve seen some pretty adventurous concepts and I don’t want to critique you too harshly for essentially doing the challenge right and well, but I suppose the point I am trying to make is that if there are so many details of your song overlapping with others’ submissions/concepts, perhaps we’ve wandered a little too far into the cliché territory of adhering to the brief. Your chorus was by far and away the highlight of your song for me, as it should be, and I would have loved to see you fully focus on this feeling of being trapped in one place with no escape, perhaps admitting jealousy of the leaves as the wind blows them far from sight, or lake/a river as it flows away to a better place. The specific lyric “winters heat froze the lake” also didn’t land for me. You definitely have talent, and I can’t wait to see it fully realised, as I’m sure we will.

 

11. @Augmented - “Nature’s Law”

This definitely was a rebound from last round in my opinion, as usual you stay being your own worst critic! This was a lovely song exploring a deciduous tree’s natural cycle with lovely language choices and well phrased rhymes. While that’s definitely a positive thing, that’s realistically about all that I can say. You’ve taken the brief and done just that, nothing more, nothing less, and crafted a well-written song with it. I’m loath to use the term “bare minimum” because that often has negative connotations, but I’m struggling to find a better label. There’s lots of pretty imagery and the narrative follows the path of least resistance. It’s a good song that could be made into a great one with a more original angle, perhaps utilising this “nature’s law” as a metaphor for something deeper. This one lands somewhere between your first two offerings for me. We know you’re a fantastic writer, so I sincerely hope the inspiration strikes you heading into the next round!

 

12. @JoeAg - “Conifers Smile On”

Not you already having written a song titled “Deciduous”, what are the odds? I love that you were able to make a sister song of sorts to your pre-existing material. This was another very unique interpretation of the challenge, and it’s been so wonderful to see that in what many might consider a somewhat limiting brief, so much creativity has been bred. Speaking of... I definitely didn’t foresee this angle. For me, it works because of the details that have been carefully incorporated into the song, such as the pine needles beneath your feet later being rendered insignificant due to, well, let’s say your other senses being heightened. The idea of the conifers providing protection from sight and (somewhat) the elements, assisting in your public consummation, was definitely one of the most original of the round. Your writing style is unapologetic and fearless, and I’ve really grown to appreciate that from you, which is perhaps why your last entry didn’t land as well for me. This is definitely trending more toward “Tyto Alba” territory though. Well done on another great submission!

 

13. @Achilles. - “All Around the Christmas Tree”
Add “Christmas” to the list of original concepts I did not anticipate seeing this round! Honestly, y’all have done so well to avoid too many overlaps this round. In some ways this reminds me of a song I wrote many Christmases ago, “Alone at Christmastime” (which went #1 on the Holiday 100 :fan:) in that it’s definitely not your traditional, joyous Christmas carol and addresses themes of loneliness and how our perception of Christmas can evolve and change as we grow up and grow apart from family. I think you’ve conveyed this concept well—the changing reasoning for being unable to fall asleep was a nice touch, as well as the following adjective describing Christmas eve. “And I no longer even believe / In god or family or love or myself” was the lyric that hit me the hardest. That said, I also really like how you didn’t end the song on an entirely pessimistic note, yet not a completely positive one either. You brought back some of the sweet into bittersweet that you originally subverted in the third verse, as if holding onto a sliver of hope. You’ve written a song with an original angle within the scope of the challenge, conveyed a relatable narrative, and continued to demonstrate your strong songwriting ability while doing so.

14. @Remmy - “Family Tree”
Here I was expecting some kind of FamilyDick/Next Door Taboo inspired bop from the title... the way you keep us on our toes. :alexz3: Yup, this is another “Paper Airplane Crashes” moment for you. I wasn’t anticipating many personal entries this round but it’s been so nice to have this round begin and close out with two of the most personal offerings of the season. I actually really liked the inclusion of the little pop flavour’d “call me up, call me up” section... it wasn’t just random adlibs, it served an important purpose within the context of the song. The image of cutting down the family tree was really powerful. Although you didn’t market it as one, verse two was honestly giving me rap verse vibes, and I’m here for it! The bridge possibly didn’t need the initial quatrain which was repeated directly afterwards anyway, but the lyric “6 years apart, different stages of existence / Now time's not our only form of distance” was spectacular. The outro too was a little slice of pop perfection, and a strong way to close out this song. A surprising and strong offering from you yet again, I sincerely wish you weren’t only going for a “Bronze Hit” run this season, as at this point you’d be in contention for the top, I fear!

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15 minutes ago, Aurora said:

 

12. @JoeAg - “Conifers Smile On”

Not you already having written a song titled “Deciduous”, what are the odds? I love that you were able to make a sister song of sorts to your pre-existing material. This was another very unique interpretation of the challenge, and it’s been so wonderful to see that in what many might consider a somewhat limiting brief, so much creativity has been bred. Speaking of... I definitely didn’t foresee this angle. For me, it works because of the details that have been carefully incorporated into the song, such as the pine needles beneath your feet later being rendered insignificant due to, well, let’s say your other senses being heightened. The idea of the conifers providing protection from sight and (somewhat) the elements, assisting in your public consummation, was definitely one of the most original of the round. Your writing style is unapologetic and fearless, and I’ve really grown to appreciate that from you, which is perhaps why your last entry didn’t land as well for me. This is definitely trending more toward “Tyto Alba” territory though. Well done on another great submission!

thank you so much :heart: I'm glad you appreciated the details and how they fluctuate in the context of what the characters are feeling at that specific moment

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21 minutes ago, JoeAg said:

thank you so much :heart: I'm glad you appreciated the details and how they fluctuate in the context of what the characters are feeling at that specific moment

Absolutely! Joe Ag's album > Diana Diamond's :sorry:

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Thank you @Aurora

 

definitely agree about the tree cliche lines :lmao:, a case of me waiting till last minute (specifically verse 2) and trying to fulfill the brief a little too well/on the nose :laugh:

 

but I’m really glad you love the chorus! I love it as well  and your advice about the leaves is really smart! I’ll have to rework it and try to add something with that 

Edited by Gavin.
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3 minutes ago, Gavin. said:

Thank you @Aurora

 

definitely agree about the tree cliche lines :lmao:, a case of me waiting till last minute (specifically verse 2) and trying to fulfill the brief a little too well/on the nose :laugh:

 

but I’m really glad you love the chorus! I love it as well  and your advice about the leaves is really smart! I’ll have to rework it and try to add something with that 

I would absolutely prefer and advise a last minute entry over a non-submission, and at any rate it didn't really come across as rushed/last minute. It definitely satisfied the brief and was a nice song, we just have so many creative individuals competing this season of Golden Hit that it can take a lot to stand out! I still gave your song a nice score, but hope this motivates you—and everyone—to really push themselves conceptually in the coming rounds! The bar has been set high. :clap3:

 

I'd love to see a reworked version of the song, if and whenever you're ready to share it.

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Although I reluctantly missed this week's #MondayMotivation (and last week's, come to think of it...), I wanted to share some songs!

Since I've already published my reviews and sent off my scores, I've decided to share some songs I've written inspired by trees. 🌳

In fact, it turns out I've written at least one song inspired by trees (albeit tangentially, in some of these cases) per project/album:

 

"Yggdrasil" (2015)

Album: Platinum Heart | Tournament: Platinum Hit 6 | Score: 7 | Peak: #3 | Tree of Inspiration: Yggdrasil

 

first verse
I once was a mortal, afraid of my sin
My life passing by while my heart had grown thin
Midgard as my home, I felt so alone
A terrific journey, about to begin
Commenced my ascension among Bifrost’s gold
The stairway to Åsgard - or so I was told
My eyes now aglow, the serpent below
Reluctant to fall, maintained my steadfast hold

 

first pre-chorus
Oh when, oh when, will I reach the summit?
I fear if I let go that I’ll surely plummet
Desires conflicting, now clouding my vision
So fearful that I will make the wrong decision

 

chorus (a)
Of all these nine lands, I only dream of one to call my home
But there is no hand to help me, I must do this on my own
Betraying the thoughts my conscience tries to place inside my mind
Instead I will choose to search for mercies of another kind

 

bridge (a)
Echoes of a past life deafen me
A martyr for my internal insanity
Overcame the weight that hangs below
A martinet making the rules up as I go

 

second verse
I pray that Heimdall will see the good in me
My hunger for change, my desire to be
For I cannot know, what awaits below
Far worse than the torment of a dragon’s teeth
I’m granted my freedom, but free it is not
The sins of my past will not soon be forgot
But I couldn’t care, as now I’m aware
That galvanised glory’s achieved roaring hot

 

second pre-chorus
Oh please, oh please, do not let me burn
I’ve put in my time and this lesson I’ll learn
The monsters I’ve battled will not be in vain
I promise that I shall never sin again

 

chorus (a)
Of all these nine lands, I only dream of one to call my home
But there is no hand to help me, I must do this on my own
Betraying the thoughts my conscience tries to place inside my mind
Instead I will choose to search for mercies of another kind

 

chorus (b)
Of all these nine lands, I only dream of one to call my home
I once was a broken man, now I begin to claim my throne
A ruler of absolution, I feel the power inside
This climb to the highest peak has been a self-fulfilling ride

 

bridge (b)
Sin is now a distant memory
A fractured fossil of what I used to be
Now I’m high above the highest cloud
Here among the Gods I tell my story proud

 

chorus (b)
Of all these nine lands, I only dream of one to call my home
I once was a broken man, now I begin to claim my throne
A ruler of absolution, I feel the power inside
This climb to the highest peak has been a self-fulfilling ride

 

outro
Oh Yggdrasil, Yggdrasil, standing so tall
I gave you my life and you cushioned my fall
Now one of your leaves, I sway in the breeze
An evergreen tale, to share as you please

"Frightening Nights and Lightning Strikes" (2015)

Album: Silhouettes | Tournament: Platinum Hit 7 | Score: 8.325 | Peak: #5 | Tree of Inspiration: Oak

 

first verse
You and I are brighter than a solar flare
Yet calmer than a tranquil ocean shore
The waves caress our faces until sundown
I’d drown within your arms
I’d drown within your arms
We’ll chase eternal summers till our feet ache
And rest among the fallen autumn leaves
If we could only be two little sparrows
I’d fly away with you
I’d fly away with you

 

first pre-chorus
Months will pass by, you’ll still be here
Right by my side, everything’s clear
We’re evergreen now
And I just know, somehow…

 

chorus
We are the morning sun
Burning our love into the sky
We are the tallest oak
Etching our story over time
We are the icy river
Shades of our beauty yet unseen
We are the strongest gale
Sweeping each other off our feet

 

second verse
I’ll freeze our memories into the snowflakes
Our synergy commands the northern lights
We’ll capture blazing shadows by the fireplace
I’m lost within your eyes
I’m lost within your eyes
Let’s melt until the cherry trees have blossomed
The breeze like butterflies beneath our skin
I’ll paint a scene of us against the skyline
Our canvas calls the spring
Our canvas calls the spring

 

second pre-chorus
Came with the flood, stayed with the drought
Still in my blood, I can’t live without
You’re all I’m about
And I just know, somehow…

 

chorus
We are the morning sun
Burning our love into the sky
We are the tallest oak
Etching our story over time
We are the icy river
Shades of our beauty yet unseen
We are the strongest gale
Sweeping each other off our feet

 

bridge
Whatever nature throws our way
We’ll always be prepared
Through frightening nights and lightning strikes
With you I’m never scared
Whatever nature throws our way
We’ll always be prepared
Through frightening nights and lightning strikes
With you I’m never scared

 

chorus
We are the morning sun
Burning our love into the sky
We are the tallest oak
Etching our story over time
We are the icy river
Shades of our beauty yet unseen
We are the strongest gale
Sweeping each other off our feet

"Mountain" (2017)

Album: Diamond Mountain | Tournament: Diamond Hit (Platinum Hit 10) | Score: 8.75 | Peak: #2 | Tree of Inspiration: Kapok

 

first verse

Deep within the rainforest, among the hanging vines
A mountain waits in isolation from the world outside
But every river leads away, sustaining sheltered life
Nestled in the shadows cast by palms raised to the sun
The mountain craves discovery, that soon a day will come
When footprints in the lush surroundings don’t appear to run

 

chorus (a)
An eagle hunting through the trees
Can soar above the canopy
Explore beyond the evergreens
In search of something more
The mountain’s limitations
Both its lifeblood and erosion
A fortress of emotions
Hide beneath the forest floor

 

second verse
Deep within the rainforest, the seasons rarely change
And even in the driest months the dewy mountain stays
A constant humid aura leaves an essence of decay
Vacant from another year of caverns unexplored
The mountain grows impatient of the cycle it endures
A natural phenomenon now actively reborn

 

chorus (a)
An eagle hunting through the trees
Can soar above the canopy
Explore beyond the evergreens
In search of something more
The mountain’s limitations
Both its lifeblood and erosion
A fortress of emotions
Hide beneath the forest floor

 

bridge
Once a subtle echo
Now a deafening eruption
The mountainside will crumble
As the earth begins to crack
The magnitude of magma flow
Defies all expectation
A new volcanic freedom
Signalled by a cloud of ash

 

chorus (b)
An eagle fleeing from the scene
Can soar above the lava streams
Explore beyond the tempest seas
In search of something more
The mountain’s limitations
Both its lifeblood and erosion
A fortress of emotions
Decorate the forest floor

"Pink Oasis" (2017)

Album: Mine | Tournament: Platinum Hit 11 | Score: 7.75 | Peak: #2 | Tree of Inspiration: Fruit

 

red verse
The midday sun may set alight the trees
A wildfire listens to the whispers in the breeze
And paints the earth with blackened autumn leaves

 

orange verse
The orchard might be taken by the blaze
A lava stream of tangerines and peaches now decayed
And yet the fragrant scent will still remain

 

yellow verse
The golden rays could soon ignite the field
Children following a maze as maize provides a shield
But from their light there’ll grow a daffodil

 

green verse
The meadow slumbers through its last full day
A lilypad that’s drifting slowly towards a poison fate
Without a loss our world won’t stay sustained

 

blue verse
The river flows between the land and sea
A wave perhaps identifies an ocean or the heat
A swim against the current for the weak

 

indigo verse
The evening sky brings peace within the dark
A shadow blankets tragedy and faith returns the stars
Until the moon can heal a damaged heart

 

purple verse
The midnight mind escapes the pain we know
A bruise upon the body never infiltrates the soul
And hooks the veins on memories and hope

 

pink verse
The silence helps the deepest thoughts come out
A dawning new horizon and a vibrant truth aloud
This pink oasis where I dive and drown

"Chameleon" (2019)

Album: Scrapbook: Recycled | Tournament: Song of the Season 1 | Score: 6 (est.) | Peak: #15 | Tree of Inspiration: Ficus

 

first verse
Leaving you is torture, trying to escape your claws
Cutting through the flora from the forest to the shore
Reckless how I run from your wandering, wild eyes
Catapult your tongue laced with love laments and lies 

pre-chorus (a)
I don’t know what to do now
Everything reminds me of you somehow
Like you can adapt into my surrounds
Radiating rapture without a sound 

chorus (a)
Are you human or chameleon?
Climbing to your height leads to delirium
Try to keep on rising like I'm helium
Falling but I kind of like the feelin’
Are you chameleon or human?
Say my name with every subtle movement
Paint my brain with colorful confusion
Play this game of love for your amusement 

second verse (rap-sung)
Feel it in my bloodstream, hotter than a sunbeam
Lightning when I speak, throwing shade like a palm tree
Stacking up blue faces, lavender Mercedes
Need you off my brain, feels like nothing can replace us
Ain’t so silver linin’
Pouring rosé wine on wounds you’ll never find in my mind calms the cryin’
Lighting trees; no arson, warning signs I'm passin’
Going under the horizon, now my blood is cold as ice and… 

pre-chorus (a)
I don’t know what to do now
Everything reminds me of you somehow
Like you can adapt into my surrounds
Radiating rapture without a sound 

chorus (a)
Are you human or chameleon?
Climbing to your height leads to delirium
Try to keep on rising like I'm helium
Falling but I kind of like the feelin’
Are you chameleon or human?
Say my name with every subtle movement
Paint my brain with colorful confusion
Play this game of love for your amusement 

bridge
Caught in your kaleidoscope, trippin’ on your tales
Holding onto frail hope, shifting like your scales
Blinded by your need to boast, saw your true intentions
Left to drown but learned to float, far from your reflection 

pre-chorus (b)
So I know what to do now
Everything reminds you of me somehow
Like I can adapt into your surrounds
Radiating rapture without a sound 

chorus (b)
Am I human or chameleon?
Climbing to my height leads to delirium
Try to keep on rising like you’re helium
Falling but you kind of like the feelin’
Am I chameleon or human?
Say your name with every subtle movement
Paint your brain with colorful confusion
Play this game of love for my amusement

"Riverbed (Aspen’s Lullaby)" (2021)

Album: Aurenaissance | Tournament: Song of the Season 4 | Score: 7.25 (est.) | Peak: #6 | Tree of Inspiration: Aspen

 

first verse
Aspen was a youngling from the far side of a mountain
Their early years were stunted from the shadow of its might
But as young Aspen burgeoned with their broadening horizons
The mountain’s river rapidly was flowing into sight
Aspen then grew old enough to branch out to the river
Surrounded by extended family and friends alike
Its mystery cascaded into waterfalls of wonder
Another silhouette bathed in the warm refracted light

 

first chorus
If Aspen could command the earth into eternal sundown
They’d sacrifice the brightest stars that beg the sun to set
Not even could a twinkling twilight sky entice their interest
Since all they’d ever dreamed of lay within the riverbed

 

second verse
Summertime was kind and let the duo play together
Running from the undertow and dancing on the breeze
Fields of green became a scene of vibrant technicolor
Gold-plated glory days spent falling with the leaves
Snow would also fall providing Aspen with a blanket
Quaking quickly while the river soon began to freeze
Aspen’s vulnerability brought bravery to blossom
Embracing all the butterflies with understated ease

 

second chorus
If Aspen never heard another sound besides the water
They’d tremble to its treble medley even in its ebb
Not likely would a wildfire’s warning wane their worship
When all they’d ever dreamed of lay within the riverbed

 

bridge
Aspen’s admiration only strengthened through the years
But time wasn’t as kindly to the river where they fell
Summer’s eve saw Aspen plead for rain to save their tears
As settlers upstream diverged the water for themselves
Not a year went by before the settlers found Aspen
Not a month went by before their family was felled
Not a day goes by that Aspen doesn’t miss the riverbed
Now the eldest soul left in an old plantation hell

 

final chorus
If Aspen used their power to communicate with others
They wouldn’t warn the younglings of the turbulence ahead
But stories of tranquility would flow through generations
As all they’d ever dreamed of lay within the riverbed

Some of these songs performed reasonably well, while others did not (looking at you, "Chameleon" :cupid:) so don't take this as any kind of indicator of what I/the others were looking for, just sharing art for the sake of sharing, and if it helps anyone, that's great too! :cm:

 

Good luck with the forthcoming challenge, looking forward to seeing some amazing submissions! :duca:

Emblem-Crest-S2.png

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Alas, I've said before that I gave up trying to be original. You won't be getting anything you haven't seen anywhere a billion times before out of me.

 

It's a shame, but I don't have an original thought in my head so there's not much I can do about that.

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Thanks, Aurora! I actually don't really feel that I tried to restrict myself to the movie, it was mostly the source of inspiration for the chosen tree, my plot is way different imo.

 

I will keep in mind the comment about the description. Thanks a lot :heart:

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1 hour ago, Hug said:

Alas, I've said before that I gave up trying to be original. You won't be getting anything you haven't seen anywhere a billion times before out of me.

 

It's a shame, but I don't have an original thought in my head so there's not much I can do about that.

This is actually factually, contractually, and prehistorically false. :tsk: You've proven time and again you're capable of innovative concepts; "Maid of Windemere", "Lilith" (the specific angle), and "Checkmate" imho from GH alone, let alone dozens of your PH/SotS material.

 

That said, if you don't want to write innovative concepts, that's a completely different thing and also completely your right not to do so. Just know that realistically there's probably going to be a plateau when it comes to scoring if that's even a concern of yours, as a technically proficient song with an outstanding original concept will typically fare better a technically proficient song with a more pedestrian one.

 

You're doing very well this season, on track to do even better than GH1, where you finished seventh overall with an average score of 8.375. That doesn't happen without having an original thought in your head, hun.

 

37 minutes ago, Legend E said:

Thanks, Aurora! I actually don't really feel that I tried to restrict myself to the movie, it was mostly the source of inspiration for the chosen tree, my plot is way different imo.

 

I will keep in mind the comment about the description. Thanks a lot :heart:

I'm glad to hear you didn't feel restricted. At any rate, while I think taking inspiration from films can be a strong source of inspiration (throwback to the Multimedia challenge from S1!), I don't think it benefited you in this particular instance, but perhaps I'm alone with that line of thinking! That's the beauty of having a diverse, four-judge panel. :alexz3:

 

In all honesty, my main "issue" regarding the length wasn't that the description was too long (I tend to babble on in my song descriptions), but that comparatively it felt like there wasn't enough lyrical content to convey the narrative you were going for to its absolute fullest potential. You know, like when you hear a really good album interlude that you wish they'd made into a full song? That kind of thing.

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49 minutes ago, Aurora said:

This is actually factually, contractually, and prehistorically false. :tsk: You've proven time and again you're capable of innovative concepts; "Maid of Windemere", "Lilith" (the specific angle), and "Checkmate" imho from GH alone, let alone dozens of your PH/SotS material.

 

That said, if you don't want to write innovative concepts, that's a completely different thing and also completely your right not to do so. Just know that realistically there's probably going to be a plateau when it comes to scoring if that's even a concern of yours, as a technically proficient song with an outstanding original concept will typically fare better a technically proficient song with a more pedestrian one.

 

You're doing very well this season, on track to do even better than GH1, where you finished seventh overall with an average score of 8.375. That doesn't happen without having an original thought in your head, hun.

 

I'm glad to hear you didn't feel restricted. At any rate, while I think taking inspiration from films can be a strong source of inspiration (throwback to the Multimedia challenge from S1!), I don't think it benefited you in this particular instance, but perhaps I'm alone with that line of thinking! That's the beauty of having a diverse, four-judge panel. :alexz3:

 

In all honesty, my main "issue" regarding the length wasn't that the description was too long (I tend to babble on in my song descriptions), but that comparatively it felt like there wasn't enough lyrical content to convey the narrative you were going for to its absolute fullest potential. You know, like when you hear a really good album interlude that you wish they'd made into a full song? That kind of thing.

Yeah, maybe I also rushed the entry a bit, which is why it seems so. Idk. But yeah I understand what you mean, to me the song was more of an intimate one-night description which turned into romance along the way.

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