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Golden Hit: Season 2 📀 R5: Reviews posted, results 7 EST 💤 R6: Mix N Match (pg. 50)


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Omg Jackson :weeps: thank you!

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Don't know much about trees but I'll roll with it

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17 minutes ago, Jackson said:

I don’t think this is really a song that fits Aria, or any of the girls, for that matter. It feels like an Achilles. song rather than an ex-BLACKGOLD song.


I kinda resent the suggestion that I tossed the challenge aside to write what I wanted and then just chose the one that fit best. :deadbanana: 

 

The 6 buzz words yall provided for your made up pop star:

•androgynous appearance: the song contains references to body image issues, suggesting that she changed or suppressed her identity to appeal to her partner, and that she feels more comfortable with herself following the breakup

•quiet, dark personality: there isn’t much of this in the song, but it does touch upon mental health issues, which are a common subject for “dark” personas

•discontent with the band: you cited the lyric, which was not remotely a forced reference. It was deliberately written with two intentions: (1) to suggest that her commitment to her career was a strain upon her relationship and (2) to throw shade at the band, which is tacky, but commonly done when a band parts ways on bad terms (and a debut solo single needs to generate those headlines!).

•thought-provoking concept: I’ll grant that the concept has been done to death, but that’s because it works. I did try to go a bit beyond the generic breakup song, particularly when the second verse begins questioning her perception of the relationship in hindsight (which sorta ties back into mental health issues)

•memorable one liners: you highlighted a few standout lines

•pop song, “dynamite debut” with commercial edge: in terms of meeting the challenge requirements, this is probably where I faltered the most simply because the song doesn’t have a repeated chorus. 
 

I said from the start that I wanted to write for Aria. I deliberately wrote a song for Aria. I suggested that a MUNA-esque song would suit her, and 8thPrince agreed. I legit wrote the song imagining Katie Gavin doing the vocals.

 

 

I do agree with your critique of my verbose writing. It’s something I meant to work on this season, and something I’ll continue trying to address. TBH, I probably didn’t do myself any favors imagining this as a MUNA song, since they can be the same. :deadbanana2:

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1 hour ago, Jackson said:

@worldwide angel – clarity control 

You’d have to confirm with fountain, but this read like the perfect Yin Yin song to me

This is fountain, and I am confirming

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Hey, Hitmakers! As promised last week, I've been able to provide more in-depth reviews this round. But first, we have a statement from Audrey Onyx:

 

“Dearest participants of Golden Hit, thank you so very much for taking the time to consider me as a muse for prospective partnership.

Although only two of you were wise enough to identify the potential only I naturally possess, I do not hold your limitations against you.

It is with my blessing that my dear friend and mentor, Aurora, review each and every one of your submissions with the utmost fairness.

Ultimately, when my solo debut studio album, 'Ophelia', drops this Fall, I believe the universe will know how to reward me and my talents.

As I always say, ‘When life gives you lemons, plant each and every seed you find, and you will in turn be giving lemons back to life.’ 🍋
(These are definitely not lyrics from my new lead single, "lemon tree paradox", releasing midnight September 9th, 2022, from 'Ophelia'...)

Go with happiness,

Audrey Ophelia Nixon”

 

Well, wasn't that enlightening! Thank you for those wise and kind words, Audrey. As Miss Onyx indicated, I have remained impartial in all reviews.


If there is anything in your review that you do not wish to have public (lyric excerpts, references to your material etc.) I will remove it upon request.

 

Aria Thurney

 

1. @hurricane326 - “Mortal Muse”
Wow, you really said, “Golden Hit Season 1 was fun and all, but Golden Hit Season 2 is MINE,” huh? This is such a stomp out of the gate. I think I may have enjoyed this even more than your last offering, which was also fantastic. This followed a more traditional song structure, which worked well for this challenge. I got strong pop rock vibes a la Olivia Rodrigo, which I think is a pretty good interpretation of Aria Thurney’s prompt. I was initially marginally concerned about the former love interest seemingly being a man in a gay relationship and how that might tie in with Aria’s point of view rather than your own, but you addressed it in the other information, and it plays into the whole androgynous ambiguity surrounding Aria nicely. It perhaps even provides a basis for why the relationship failed in the first place. The bridge is the only point of this song I wasn’t completely enamoured by, but I still enjoyed it and got the vibe you were going for with it.

4. @Hug - “Checkmate”
Miss Thurney is certainly already spoiled for choice because this is another scalp as far as I’m concerned. I never would have considered combining something as stereotypically “nerdy” as chess with themes of romance/dancing/unrequited love, yet you’ve made it feel like the most seamless pairing. I personally enjoyed the ambiguity of whether it was a song about romance using chess metaphors or a song about chess using romantic metaphors, which played into Aria’s character well, and the resolution of the chorus being a true checkmate as far as confirming it’s all about the game was extremely meta. It could even be interpreted as sapphic… the layers? Hug literally playing 4D chess out here. I thought it was clever, conceptual, interesting, and most importantly well-written and entertaining. Loving this new direction from you!

8. @Kylie Jenner - “Big Girl (Bang Bang)”
Naur, now why doesn’t the Soundcloud link work? :cries: I’m an Aliennia stan so it was hard for me not to hear this song in her style. You have a knack for rhyming and making large pop hooks and such which absolutely lends itself to commercial pop writing. As such, this feels more like a Diana Diamond offering than one for Aria Thurney, but that’s not a major concern. The verses are where this song shines the most I think, especially the second one. I’d have loved it if they were a little longer, though! Comparatively, the chorus takes up more real estate within the song, yet doesn’t say nearly as much. The bridge was a solid way to close out the song. Obviously stylistically very different from “Eve”, yet it still had that strong female presence.

11. @Augmented - “Rule The Game”
I disagree with your self-doubt that this piece may potentially have been a better fit for Diana, as there’s an element of rejecting fame and the price one has to pay to get there that fits Aria’s background a lot more than Diana’s. In that regard, heed your own advice: keep thinking forward to hide all your doubts! Admittedly, this song is a little on the surface-level side. Conceptually this works, but I think your rough experience writing this round definitely shows in the execution. It lacks any of those thought-provoking, standout one-liners Aria was specifically looking for. Were this an early concept demo I could definitely see Aria snapping it up for further revision, but as it currently stands it’s not your strongest effort, and I’d imagine you’d agree.

12. @Temporal - “In Spades”
The introductory lead-up… c’mon hype house! Not this song serving HAUS, “Haus of Cards” is shaking I fear! (Just kidding, she’s an acclaimed #1 bop. :fan:) This was cute and clever and I think was one of the best interpretations of Aria’s brief. Aria is a career-focused woman and has no time for love interests! It was a tad predictable at times, I was half expecting “Jack of all trades” to show up at some point as a rhyme for “in spades”. I’d consider this a well-rounded song; it’s not too lyrically advanced to teeter away from commercial pop appeal, it’s got a solid concept that you’ve adhered to throughout, and it satisfies the brief. Whether or not it has any real thought-provoking, standout lyrics is debatable, although I’d say you came pretty close with the second verse. All in all, this was another solid sophomore offering in your return to writing!

13. @Achilles. - “Good Enough for Me”

Firstly, can I say that I thought this was a genuinely excellent song. Really, really good. A lot of the material we see in these writing tournaments is either on the poetic side or very formulaic, and while both of these things can be great depending on the song, this just read so effortlessly like a song, it’s hard to describe. You either get the vibe or you don’t get the vibe. The couplet, “Cause we fell in love, and we fell apart / I guess I fell for it all, right from the start,” was just stellar. As far as fitting Aria’s brief, I don’t know if it’s an absolute perfect fit? It’s not a novel, thought-provoking statement piece as much as a really good pop power ballad (or at least that’s how it reads to me). The implied sacrifice of the “if I quit the band” lyric in particular seems to be the biggest flaw for me, given Aria’s public discontent with BLACKGOLD’s music, and the fact she’d already left the band at this point in time. It’s not the end of the world though as I still feel like this fits Aria more than the other girls.

Diana Diamond

 

3. @XO_Life - “Drink That Up”
This was serving late 2000’s/early 2010’s electropop and honestly I was bopping. :jamming: I personally love listening to this kind of music and would definitely give it several streams were it to be a full-fledged recorded song, but in the context of a writing tournament sometimes these types of songs can fall a little flat. Starting with the first verse in particular, it felt like you were working through a checklist of things to mention to satisfy the brief rather than integrating little references to Diana’s profile and solo ambitions throughout the whole song. The good news is, it’s clearly inspired by Diana in that regard! I liked little moments such as, “Bar-bar-tender,” that reinforced that stuttered hook idea acts like Lady Gaga or Kesha might feature in their earlier works. This is a good example of an interesting writing technique within the scope of this style of songwriting. I think you satisfied the challenge well, however the final product wasn’t necessarily a gold mine of lyrical excellence, which admittedly isn’t often easy to achieve with these types of songs.

9. @JoeAg - “Nightlife Empress”
Of all the ex-BLACKGOLD members you could have chosen, I honestly didn’t expect Diana Diamond from you! I implore the creative risk since I’d consider her brief to be somewhat of a polar opposite of the writing style we’ve come to be familiar with from you. Golden Hit is definitely all about taking risks, and this was a reasonably good opportunity to do so. That said, this fell somewhere in the awkward middle ground of “not quite commercial pop enough for Diana,” and “far too clichéd compared to Joe’s typical writing style,” for me unfortunately. The nocturnal serial killer line in particular stuck out as somewhat of a proverbial sore thumb—I sincerely hope that will never be okay! It wasn’t a bad attempt by any means, but I can’t say it nailed the brief, nor ranks among my favourite of your submissions.

15. @TruGemini - “Little White Lie”

This was certainly a unique concept! I think as far as Diana’s submissions go, this is perhaps my favourite of the bunch. I agree with you that Diana’s style was probably the most in line with your own, so she was a fitting choice for you. That said, I definitely still got a lot more TruGemini than Diana Diamond from this, as it was missing the bright hooks, colourful metaphors and imagery, and summer vibes outlined in Diana’s brief. Even down to the instrumental selection, it didn’t exactly scream summer pop radio hit, but more something an artist like Bella Poarch or someone of that nature would use. As always your rhyming is on point, but I think we’re starting to see a formula here. In the next challenge, I think it’d be a good experiment for you to try and write something without an instrumental or beat in mind, and just see where the lyrics take you, ensuring they are the forefront and the main focus.

Audrey Onyx

 

2. @Julia Fox - “vintage”

This is honestly your best song, in my humble opinion. :jonny: You were right on the mark with the early Sky/Halsey inspiration. I even got a bit of Room 93 vibes (underrated EP!) which was an unexpected surprise. The way this song is constructed is so perfectly Audrey, “smoked me like a mint cigarette on an after sex daylight scene,” was such a great lyrical moment for this type of song. The simplistic, understated nature of the shifting pre-chorus was fantastic. The incorporation of that mid-2010’s Tumblr aesthetic and the vinyl record player… genius. The bridge with the “red just like young blood” lyric was so perfectly Audrey, and the addition of explicit language into the final pre-chorus/outro to convey intensifying emotion was just wonderful.
 

Statement from Audrey: From the title “vintage” alone, I knew this was going to be perfect for my album Ophelia. You really listened to the vibe I was hoping to achieve with this album and wrote a magnificent song I’d love to record and include on my forthcoming debut record! I may even consider releasing it as a single.

 

5. @beatinglikeadrum - “Running away from the sun”

I’m glad you consider this better than your last submission, because I definitely have to agree! The longer line lengths and more intimate storytelling style of songwriting worked nicely for this piece, I think. The incorporation of natural imagery showed an understanding of what Audrey was looking for with her upcoming record. What I got from this song was that the “sun” in this context was the limelight of being in a girl group and the high expectations that followed, while the “water” was a return to Audrey’s more authentic and grounded self, which I think was a nice comparison. I definitely enjoyed this style of writing from you, and would encourage you to explore this further in future rounds!
 

Statement from Audrey: It’s a very interesting notion to associate “light” with the dark side of fame, but it’s one that I think I can make work. I could definitely make room on my album for this track, perhaps as a promotional single or fan-favourite album closing track.

Yin Yin

 

6. @Euterpe - “Five Stages”

This read like a perfectly crafted amalgamation of Yin Yin’s brief in all honesty. I love that you structured the song around the psychological concept of the five stages of grief as a nod to Yin Yin’s background in psychology. Yin Yin didn’t have a lot of personal details at your disposal and there was a strong emphasis on her feeling scorned by her time in the group, so I think writing about her experience in the group itself was a clever decision. The metaphors you’ve utilised such as denial regarding the tightness of a “perfect” ring in the first verse, to the constant questioning throughout really does carry both the psychological and narrative elements. All in all this was a very well-thought-out piece and I can only imagine Yin Yin would agree.

 

7. @Better Mistakes - “Me and The Girls”
Taking the torch from Sir Remmy I see? This was certainly one of the most unique submissions of the round. I’m honestly a bit lost for words as to what to say since there’s a lot to unpack here. Stating the obvious, I feel like this song is a little too… uh, revealing for the likes of someone as allegedly enigmatic and reserved as Yin Yin. Were there any sexual relations going on behind the scenes, I’d imagine she’d prefer to keep them there. Lyrically, there were a handful of choice moments: the Tiffany’s bra and pre-chorus made me chuckle a bit, and imagining Yin Yin singing, “BLACKGOLD in my ***** folds,” to the rhythm of “BLACKPINK in your area,” was an interesting image. I didn’t really understand some of the references, particular the inclusion of Jessie J and Nelson (was it because Yin Yin is canonically British?), and overall felt it wasn’t your strongest offering.

10. @worldwide angel - “clarity control”
This was an impressive growth from the last round—that’s not to say your last submission was in any way bad, but whatever potential it had was definitely realised in this piece. Structurally, the song instantly gave off Yin Yin energy, and the shorter line lengths only strengthened this. I picked up on the references to the dissolution of the girl group throughout, and found the second verse very clever in how it was crafted and its delivery. Like Euterpe, I feel this was a clever angle to take given the limited amount of personal details you were provided for Yin Yin, and enjoyed that you both found a distinct way to elevate it without overlapping ideas, yours taking stylistic inspiration from Yin Yin’s playlist. This was a strong offering and I’m eager to see what you have in store next.

14. @Legend E - “Spa Night”
Well, this was unexpectedly dark. In that regard, I think this is a fitting interpretation of Yin Yin’s brief. I’m not 100% sure if your theory is correct in regards to why Yin Yin needed a hiatus from the group, that would be up to fountain to confirm or deny, but I think you creating your own headcanon for the BLACKGOLD universe and running with that was a big creative risk in and of itself which is commendable. Lyrically, this is a very solid offering from you also—I like that the “fake diamonds” in the introductory lyric could be referring to gaudy performance jewellery, or detaching from her “fake” bandmates a la Diana Diamond. I think you handled this subject tastefully, while crafting and executing a strong narrative. It is a little on the revealing side for someone of Yin Yin’s enigmatic nature, but perhaps she would be willing to express this era of her life through her art.

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2 hours ago, Euterpe said:

Okay, but this is a genius idea?

It can be considered up for grabs, I suppose I wouldn’t mind reading somebody’s take on that if they felt bold enough :gaycattel:

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Btw, Round 2’s results will be taking place tomorrow, Sunday at 8pm eastern time!

 

Will make a proper post early tomorrow tagging everybody, after I’ve finished my few remaining reviews. But for anybody who sees this before then, that’s when it’ll be :bird:

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I've already submitted my scores as I will be working during results again, good luck all. :heart:

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1 hour ago, Jackson said:

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The rest of my reviews are below (and also added to my original reviews on page 22)

 

  Hide contents

 

 


@worldwide angel – clarity control 

You’d have to confirm with fountain, but this read like the perfect Yin Yin song to me. The entire thing has an air of mystique, with multiple layers that I could see Yin Yangs dissecting like Taylor Swift lyrics. Although I’ve only read a couple songs from you, I’m also getting a strong sense of your style. I appreciate the way you make the most of your lyrics. You typically stick to fairly short lines and sections, yet pack them full of interesting phrases and vivid imagery. Most of the time, you execute this perfectly. I love the opening line, “struck like a seismic shock”, and “strong mind engulfed by clouds/dull sword of wicked wonder” in the chorus. There were a couple lines that didn’t connect as much for me, like “fell from every angle” – how does something fall from multiple angles? Still, those moments were extremely uncommon. I loved the song as a whole. My only suggestion for next week would be to try something new structurally. I already love your writing style, but it couldn’t hurt to experiment and leave us guessing. Regardless, I look forward to what you write next.

 

@Augmented – Rule The Game 

Despite what you (and possibly Aria’s mentor) may think, I think this song fits Aria pretty well. The song, especially the chorus, feel very commercial, but the song also reflects her general feelings about the group and seems to say something beyond just being a commercial single. The chorus was quite catchy – I could see this being a real single, especially for an ex-girl group member. As you alluded in your description, there were times that the song felt a bit rushed. The first pre-chorus felt like filler to me, and many of the lyrics seemed more generic and less specific than usual for you. I think this came down to a lack of inspiration rather than a lack of ability, so I’ll just say that I hope you have the time to write something you feel more confident in next week and I look forward to reading it.

 

@Temporal – In Spades 

You did a lot of thing wells here. The song flowed well and provided a perspective I hadn’t seen from you before. Some of your lines were incredibly striking, most notably “a diamond dulled with cuts and shuffles” and “to write my rules, I played the game”. However, elsewhere I found that you turned to clichés and songwriting tropes to fill the lines. Similarly to what I highlighted in Hug’s entry, likening betrayal to a game is something that’s been explored in songwriting before. Having cards stacked against you, having a seat at the table, and being a queen in the sheets are all lines we’ve heard before, and I’m not sure you provided anything new to those lines to make them worth including. My assumption is that in entering uncharted songwriting territory, you fell back on familiar lines to fill the gaps between your own songwriting abilities. I’d love to continue seeing you experiment with new themes, but in ways that feel purposeful and provide ways for you to express your thought in new ways, rather than expressing thoughts that have been shared before. In terms of the challenge, I think this straddles the line between a few members. I think Aria’s brief was fairly broad, so it definitely fits there, but I see elements of pop songwriting that would have worked for Diana and enigmatic allusions to BLACKGOLD that could have worked for Yin Yin. I know natural imagery is your forte, so I look forward to seeing what ~tree~ you end up writing about this week.

 

@Achilles. – Good Enough for Me 

I don’t think this is really a song that fits Aria, or any of the girls, for that matter. It feels like an Achilles. song rather than an ex-BLACKGOLD song. Not that we want you to entirely lose your own personality in this challenge, but it feels like you wrote a song you wanted to write and then just chose the girl that you thought fit the challenge the best. That aside, I think this suffered from some thematic inconsistency. For the most part, this was a song about a relationship, but there were points where you specifically referenced the group (“If I quit the band, if I changed priorities”) that felt forced in to further meet the challenge. To be fair, this was a solid breakup song. Like last week, your opening lines caught my attention – “I think I lost my mind/somewhere between/the last kiss and the first goodbye” and “I think I lost a war/somewhere between/the packed bags and the closing door” were standout lines for the whole round. However, unlike last round, those lines were more concentrated towards the beginning of the song. For what felt like a pretty standard breakup song, there were some more verbose sections that could have been cut down and strengthened the effectiveness of the better lines. To end on a positive, I also have to state that I really enjoyed your closing lines as well – “If I sing louder ‘cause it makes me happy/I think that would be good enough for me” – perhaps you’re happy tossing the challenge aside a bit to write a song that makes you feel good, and if this was that, I commend you even more for it.

 

@Legend E – Spa Night 

OK I love some of the fan fiction going on in some of these songs. Speculating on why Yin Yin took a hiatus during tour? 10/10 world building. I think I was perhaps the only judge that didn’t love your last entry, so I’m ecstatic to say that this song was fairly flaw free. I think you nailed the challenge – revealing personal details about your artist in a way that feels brutally honest yet poetic enough to hide some of the messy details. Lyrically, you struck just the right balance of raw emotion and vivid imagery. There’s so many highlights here I’d love to quote, so I hope you’re willing to share at some point. The first line felt pointed yet guarded, and the chorus was just perfect. The “dirt” and “pieces” lines were extremely relatable yet so precise and emotive. I’ll just admit that this is my favorite song of the season so far. If I had to make one tiny nitpick, it would be that the rhyme in the second line felt a bit forced, but that’s literally my only note. Excellent work.

 

@TruGemini – Little White Lie 

I didn’t have any individual contestant in mind when I came up with Diana, but after her wiki page was fully formed I realized she’d be the perfect fit for you, so I’m glad you chose to write for her. You took an angle that I didn’t fully expect in that your theme wasn’t something I highlighted specifically in the challenge post, but I think you correctly concluded that this is still the perfect moody, catchy pop earworm that Diana would die for. I’ll also just leave a little note to the other contestants that I’m an absolute sucker for alliteration and internal rhyming, so I really appreciated the internal rhyming at the end of the first verse. It’s such a great way to make a lyric just a little more fun to read, which lends well to the pop feeling of it. I think you also did a great job of using repetition in your chorus without going overboard or distracting from the lyrics. I do think the format of the chorus, with multiple parenthetical parts, was a bit distracting, but that could have easily been fixed by just taking the second half of the lines out of the parentheses. There were definitely lines that were strong than others (“Face it, go ahead and face it, if I lose my bed at least I can say that I made it” was miles better than “Let me get her fragrance, fire up her playlist”), but I see where each lyric fits into the story, so I really don’t think anything needed to be added or deleted. Great job with the challenge and great song in all.
 

 

 

 

24 minutes ago, Aurora said:

Ribbon-Reviews-S2-Aurora.png

 

Hey, Hitmakers! As promised last week, I've been able to provide more in-depth reviews this round. But first, we have a statement from Audrey Onyx:

 

“Dearest participants of Golden Hit, thank you so very much for taking the time to consider me as a muse for prospective partnership.

Although only two of you were wise enough to identify the potential only I naturally possess, I do not hold your limitations against you.

It is with my blessing that my dear friend and mentor, Aurora, review each and every one of your submissions with the utmost fairness.

Ultimately, when my solo debut studio album, 'Ophelia', drops this Fall, I believe the universe will know how to reward me and my talents.

As I always say, ‘When life gives you lemons, plant each and every seed you find, and you will in turn be giving lemons back to life.’ 🍋
(These are definitely not lyrics from my new lead single, "lemon tree paradox", releasing midnight September 9th, 2022, from 'Ophelia'...)

Go with happiness,

Audrey Ophelia Nixon”

 

Well, wasn't that enlightening! Thank you for those wise and kind words, Audrey. As Miss Onyx indicated, I have remained impartial in all reviews.


If there is anything in your review that you do not wish to have public (lyric excerpts, references to your material etc.) I will remove it upon request.

 

Aria Thurney

  Reveal hidden contents

1. @hurricane326 - “Mortal Muse”
Wow, you really said, “Golden Hit Season 1 was fun and all, but Golden Hit Season 2 is MINE,” huh? This is such a stomp out of the gate. I think I may have enjoyed this even more than your last offering, which was also fantastic. This followed a more traditional song structure, which worked well for this challenge. I got strong pop rock vibes a la Olivia Rodrigo, which I think is a pretty good interpretation of Aria Thurney’s prompt. I was initially marginally concerned about the former love interest seemingly being a man in a gay relationship and how that might tie in with Aria’s point of view rather than your own, but you addressed it in the other information, and it plays into the whole androgynous ambiguity surrounding Aria nicely. It perhaps even provides a basis for why the relationship failed in the first place. The bridge is the only point of this song I wasn’t completely enamoured by, but I still enjoyed it and got the vibe you were going for with it.

4. @Hug - “Checkmate”
Miss Thurney is certainly already spoiled for choice because this is another scalp as far as I’m concerned. I never would have considered combining something as stereotypically “nerdy” as chess with themes of romance/dancing/unrequited love, yet you’ve made it feel like the most seamless pairing. I personally enjoyed the ambiguity of whether it was a song about romance using chess metaphors or a song about chess using romantic metaphors, which played into Aria’s character well, and the resolution of the chorus being a true checkmate as far as confirming it’s all about the game was extremely meta. It could even be interpreted as sapphic… the layers? Hug literally playing 4D chess out here. I thought it was clever, conceptual, interesting, and most importantly well-written and entertaining. Loving this new direction from you!

8. @Kylie Jenner - “Big Girl (Bang Bang)”
Naur, now why doesn’t the Soundcloud link work? :cries: I’m an Aliennia stan so it was hard for me not to hear this song in her style. You have a knack for rhyming and making large pop hooks and such which absolutely lends itself to commercial pop writing. As such, this feels more like a Diana Diamond offering than one for Aria Thurney, but that’s not a major concern. The verses are where this song shines the most I think, especially the second one. I’d have loved it if they were a little longer, though! Comparatively, the chorus takes up more real estate within the song, yet doesn’t say nearly as much. The bridge was a solid way to close out the song. Obviously stylistically very different from “Eve”, yet it still had that strong female presence.

11. @Augmented - “Rule The Game”
I disagree with your self-doubt that this piece may potentially have been a better fit for Diana, as there’s an element of rejecting fame and the price one has to pay to get there that fits Aria’s background a lot more than Diana’s. In that regard, heed your own advice: keep thinking forward to hide all your doubts! Admittedly, this song is a little on the surface-level side. Conceptually this works, but I think your rough experience writing this round definitely shows in the execution. It lacks any of those thought-provoking, standout one-liners Aria was specifically looking for. Were this an early concept demo I could definitely see Aria snapping it up for further revision, but as it currently stands it’s not your strongest effort, and I’d imagine you’d agree.

12. @Temporal - “In Spades”
The introductory lead-up… c’mon hype house! Not this song serving HAUS, “Haus of Cards” is shaking I fear! (Just kidding, she’s an acclaimed #1 bop. :fan:) This was cute and clever and I think was one of the best interpretations of Aria’s brief. Aria is a career-focused woman and has no time for love interests! It was a tad predictable at times, I was half expecting “Jack of all trades” to show up at some point as a rhyme for “in spades”. I’d consider this a well-rounded song; it’s not too lyrically advanced to teeter away from commercial pop appeal, it’s got a solid concept that you’ve adhered to throughout, and it satisfies the brief. Whether or not it has any real thought-provoking, standout lyrics is debatable, although I’d say you came pretty close with the second verse. All in all, this was another solid sophomore offering in your return to writing!

13. @Achilles. - “Good Enough for Me”

Firstly, can I say that I thought this was a genuinely excellent song. Really, really good. A lot of the material we see in these writing tournaments is either on the poetic side or very formulaic, and while both of these things can be great depending on the song, this just read so effortlessly like a song, it’s hard to describe. You either get the vibe or you don’t get the vibe. The couplet, “Cause we fell in love, and we fell apart / I guess I fell for it all, right from the start,” was just stellar. As far as fitting Aria’s brief, I don’t know if it’s an absolute perfect fit? It’s not a novel, thought-provoking statement piece as much as a really good pop power ballad (or at least that’s how it reads to me). The implied sacrifice of the “if I quit the band” lyric in particular seems to be the biggest flaw for me, given Aria’s public discontent with BLACKGOLD’s music, and the fact she’d already left the band at this point in time. It’s not the end of the world though as I still feel like this fits Aria more than the other girls.

Diana Diamond

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3. @XO_Life - “Drink That Up”
This was serving late 2000’s/early 2010’s electropop and honestly I was bopping. :jamming: I personally love listening to this kind of music and would definitely give it several streams were it to be a full-fledged recorded song, but in the context of a writing tournament sometimes these types of songs can fall a little flat. Starting with the first verse in particular, it felt like you were working through a checklist of things to mention to satisfy the brief rather than integrating little references to Diana’s profile and solo ambitions throughout the whole song. The good news is, it’s clearly inspired by Diana in that regard! I liked little moments such as, “Bar-bar-tender,” that reinforced that stuttered hook idea acts like Lady Gaga or Kesha might feature in their earlier works. This is a good example of an interesting writing technique within the scope of this style of songwriting. I think you satisfied the challenge well, however the final product wasn’t necessarily a gold mine of lyrical excellence, which admittedly isn’t often easy to achieve with these types of songs.

9. @JoeAg - “Nightlife Empress”
Of all the ex-BLACKGOLD members you could have chosen, I honestly didn’t expect Diana Diamond from you! I implore the creative risk since I’d consider her brief to be somewhat of a polar opposite of the writing style we’ve come to be familiar with from you. Golden Hit is definitely all about taking risks, and this was a reasonably good opportunity to do so. That said, this fell somewhere in the awkward middle ground of “not quite commercial pop enough for Diana,” and “far too clichéd compared to Joe’s typical writing style,” for me unfortunately. The nocturnal serial killer line in particular stuck out as somewhat of a proverbial sore thumb—I sincerely hope that will never be okay! It wasn’t a bad attempt by any means, but I can’t say it nailed the brief, nor ranks among my favourite of your submissions.

15. @TruGemini - “Little White Lie”

This was certainly a unique concept! I think as far as Diana’s submissions go, this is perhaps my favourite of the bunch. I agree with you that Diana’s style was probably the most in line with your own, so she was a fitting choice for you. That said, I definitely still got a lot more TruGemini than Diana Diamond from this, as it was missing the bright hooks, colourful metaphors and imagery, and summer vibes outlined in Diana’s brief. Even down to the instrumental selection, it didn’t exactly scream summer pop radio hit, but more something an artist like Bella Poarch or someone of that nature would use. As always your rhyming is on point, but I think we’re starting to see a formula here. In the next challenge, I think it’d be a good experiment for you to try and write something without an instrumental or beat in mind, and just see where the lyrics take you, ensuring they are the forefront and the main focus.

Audrey Onyx

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2. @Julia Fox - “vintage”

This is honestly your best song, in my humble opinion. :jonny: You were right on the mark with the early Sky/Halsey inspiration. I even got a bit of Room 93 vibes (underrated EP!) which was an unexpected surprise. The way this song is constructed is so perfectly Audrey, “smoked me like a mint cigarette on an after sex daylight scene,” was such a great lyrical moment for this type of song. The simplistic, understated nature of the shifting pre-chorus was fantastic. The incorporation of that mid-2010’s Tumblr aesthetic and the vinyl record player… genius. The bridge with the “red just like young blood” lyric was so perfectly Audrey, and the addition of explicit language into the final pre-chorus/outro to convey intensifying emotion was just wonderful.
 

Statement from Audrey: From the title “vintage” alone, I knew this was going to be perfect for my album Ophelia. You really listened to the vibe I was hoping to achieve with this album and wrote a magnificent song I’d love to record and include on my forthcoming debut record! I may even consider releasing it as a single.

 

5. @beatinglikeadrum - “Running away from the sun”

I’m glad you consider this better than your last submission, because I definitely have to agree! The longer line lengths and more intimate storytelling style of songwriting worked nicely for this piece, I think. The incorporation of natural imagery showed an understanding of what Audrey was looking for with her upcoming record. What I got from this song was that the “sun” in this context was the limelight of being in a girl group and the high expectations that followed, while the “water” was a return to Audrey’s more authentic and grounded self, which I think was a nice comparison. I definitely enjoyed this style of writing from you, and would encourage you to explore this further in future rounds!
 

Statement from Audrey: It’s a very interesting notion to associate “light” with the dark side of fame, but it’s one that I think I can make work. I could definitely make room on my album for this track, perhaps as a promotional single or fan-favourite album closing track.

Yin Yin

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6. @Euterpe - “Five Stages”

This read like a perfectly crafted amalgamation of Yin Yin’s brief in all honesty. I love that you structured the song around the psychological concept of the five stages of grief as a nod to Yin Yin’s background in psychology. Yin Yin didn’t have a lot of personal details at your disposal and there was a strong emphasis on her feeling scorned by her time in the group, so I think writing about her experience in the group itself was a clever decision. The metaphors you’ve utilised such as denial regarding the tightness of a “perfect” ring in the first verse, to the constant questioning throughout really does carry both the psychological and narrative elements. All in all this was a very well-thought-out piece and I can only imagine Yin Yin would agree.

 

7. @Better Mistakes - “Me and The Girls”
Taking the torch from Sir Remmy I see? This was certainly one of the most unique submissions of the round. I’m honestly a bit lost for words as to what to say since there’s a lot to unpack here. Stating the obvious, I feel like this song is a little too… uh, revealing for the likes of someone as allegedly enigmatic and reserved as Yin Yin. Were there any sexual relations going on behind the scenes, I’d imagine she’d prefer to keep them there. Lyrically, there were a handful of choice moments: the Tiffany’s bra and pre-chorus made me chuckle a bit, and imagining Yin Yin singing, “BLACKGOLD in my ***** folds,” to the rhythm of “BLACKPINK in your area,” was an interesting image. I didn’t really understand some of the references, particular the inclusion of Jessie J and Nelson (was it because Yin Yin is canonically British?), and overall felt it wasn’t your strongest offering.

10. @worldwide angel - “clarity control”
This was an impressive growth from the last round—that’s not to say your last submission was in any way bad, but whatever potential it had was definitely realised in this piece. Structurally, the song instantly gave off Yin Yin energy, and the shorter line lengths only strengthened this. I picked up on the references to the dissolution of the girl group throughout, and found the second verse very clever in how it was crafted and its delivery. Like Euterpe, I feel this was a clever angle to take given the limited amount of personal details you were provided for Yin Yin, and enjoyed that you both found a distinct way to elevate it without overlapping ideas, yours taking stylistic inspiration from Yin Yin’s playlist. This was a strong offering and I’m eager to see what you have in store next.

14. @Legend E - “Spa Night”
Well, this was unexpectedly dark. In that regard, I think this is a fitting interpretation of Yin Yin’s brief. I’m not 100% sure if your theory is correct in regards to why Yin Yin needed a hiatus from the group, that would be up to fountain to confirm or deny, but I think you creating your own headcanon for the BLACKGOLD universe and running with that was a big creative risk in and of itself which is commendable. Lyrically, this is a very solid offering from you also—I like that the “fake diamonds” in the introductory lyric could be referring to gaudy performance jewellery, or detaching from her “fake” bandmates a la Diana Diamond. I think you handled this subject tastefully, while crafting and executing a strong narrative. It is a little on the revealing side for someone of Yin Yin’s enigmatic nature, but perhaps she would be willing to express this era of her life through her art.

thank you so much :heart2: 

 

nnn i do agree i could have worded the ‘angle line’ better, it was the last verse i wrote surprisingly 

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41 minutes ago, Aurora said:

9. @JoeAg - “Nightlife Empress”
Of all the ex-BLACKGOLD members you could have chosen, I honestly didn’t expect Diana Diamond from you! I implore the creative risk since I’d consider her brief to be somewhat of a polar opposite of the writing style we’ve come to be familiar with from you. Golden Hit is definitely all about taking risks, and this was a reasonably good opportunity to do so. That said, this fell somewhere in the awkward middle ground of “not quite commercial pop enough for Diana,” and “far too clichéd compared to Joe’s typical writing style,” for me unfortunately. The nocturnal serial killer line in particular stuck out as somewhat of a proverbial sore thumb—I sincerely hope that will never be okay! It wasn’t a bad attempt by any means, but I can’t say it nailed the brief, nor ranks among my favourite of your submissions.

so the serial killer thing is totally symbolic of just the strangeness of nightlife and a space that one hasn't necessarily been to before, like somewhat creepy. I didn't mean literal serial killers

maybe i should've been a bit sharper with one concept instead of spreading into several different ones, but i wanted it to tell a story and i feel like it did. and it's for someone who wants to blossom as a popstar so that's why i was leaning towards just a few clichés

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Okay wrote up a draft! will do a few bits to it later! at least I got something to send in when deadline comes closer :heart:

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"Old Oak Tree"

 

A song about two lovers meeting on a late-summer night. They carved a heart with their initials into an old oak tree and sent love letters to meet up there. It kinda became their spot. The song has a twist tho. The chorus has slight changes to even further communicate the change that happens in autumn, nothing too noticeable tho.

 

Inspiration:

for a lot of people autumn marks the start of depression since the nights are getting longer. I took that vibe but changed it to the situation. The song is inspired by Taylors Red.

 

Visual inspiration: 

 

- The scene in blank space where taylor carved a heart into a tree

- Prof. Oak (song has nothing to do with pokemon) 

- The Oak tree right infornt of my apartment 

 

The song is sad, soft and focuses more on the verses. The chorus is simple. 

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@Aurora thank you! It would be an honor if Audrey decides “vintage” to be a single :WAP: it was a really easy write, I mean it was written in like 5 minutes and I was afraid because i find it too simple but glad it payed off tbh :heart: so happy 

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Hey everybody! The results show for Round 2 will be taking place tonight at 8pm eastern time with yours truly. This is about 9 hours from this post, and results themselves should last for roughly an hour.

 

Hope you can be there to see the scores and ranking for the round; which former BLACKGOLD member will end up having the most promising solo debut? Find out in a few hours! :heart:

 

Here's a countdown to when results will be starting, so you can see when it will be in your own time zone:

https://www.timeanddate.com/countdown/birthday?iso=20220904T20&p0=179&msg=Golden+Hit+S2+Round+2+Results&font=cursive

 

Looking forward to it! 

:bird:

 

@hurricane326 @Julia Fox @XO_Life @Hug @beatinglikeadrum @Euterpe @Better Mistakes @Kylie Jenner @JoeAg @worldwide angel @Augmented @Temporal @Achilles. @Legend E @TruGemini

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whew a bit nervous :dancehall: 

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My song for the tree round is titled: Professor Oak

 

4nbhp1.png

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"Love Under a Blue Tarp"

 

Those hollowed out homes
And the children's toys tangled

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Old Oak Tree

 

A little teaser:

 

"The old oak tree, once had feathers, colored in permanent green, or so I believed, green just like your eyes, I was staring into all night"

 

 

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"Coconut Tree"

 

seed me with your succulent juice 

let me taste the sun on my tooth 

cause baby I like when I put it hot

cause even if we are here in autumn

summer always arrive when we boom boom

 

 


 


 

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The multiple teasers not even 24 hours after the challenge was posted :deadbanana4:

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Ribbon-Reviews-S2-fountain.png

 

Round 2: The Girl Group Challenge, Part 3

flop edition #2 (Aria Thurney, Diana Diamond, Audrey Onyx)

 

@Kylie Jenner - Big Girl (Bang Bang)

Let me start with discussing the soundcloud link, omg truly a bop tbh! Porter Robinson who? Go off vocaloid. This was genuinely very fun to listen to and the song really is catchy, it’s catchiness is probably the most distinct feature I get from it so in that way I would probably say it feels somewhat more fitting for Diana Diamond to me, but that’s subjective I suppose. The bang bang a bang part really gives me kpop hook vibes, and I can’t say how long that’s going to be stuck in my head :rip:. Lyrically, I like that you went for a feminist theme, but it did feel quite juvenile (especially with the title “big girl”) and not as nuanced as it could have been, specifically with Aria Thurney as the chosen artist, so I think that was a bit of a miss. I think the ideas are there, and the sensibility for a catchy song is certainly there, but the lyrics could have been taken further. In comparison to your last entry the writing honestly wasn’t as strong, but I don’t think that was your aim in particular with this song, and you’ve already proven that you can serve good lyrical content from your last entry, so I don’t think it’s that big of a deal; since we’ve have two differing songs from you thus far i'm interested in seeing what way you go next, but my advice would be to just try and ensure that the writing is always top notch even if going for a more fun song, the lyricism can still be there and doesn’t have to be traded for catchiness. 

 

@JoeAg - Nightlife Empress

Stan Kesha! Instant 10 from me.

I don’t know if it’s because you mentioned her for your token request, but when reading this I tried to imagine her singing it, and I certainly could, so in that way I would definitely say you have succeeded in the challenge and written something fitting for a pop star like Diana Diamond. This song has a great, fun and playful nighttime vibe to it, with the singer having nice cheeky moments throughout the song which give it a good energy. I think this is an interesting take for you, because I definitely know you more for your more internal, thoughtful and nuanced lyrics. It’s nice to see your more fun and carefree side to it, and this shows some versatility as a writer - and of course it’s very fitting for the challenge - however I would say that on a personal level I resonate more with your more unique and personal style. Overall I think this is a good entry, there’s nothing really to fault it for and it’s a spot on interpretation of Diana Diamond, it’s nice to see this coy and irreverent side however it’s obviously not your most poignant song or the one that would show off your writing skills the best, and I’m sure you’d probably agree with that too; but, not every song has to be that.

 

@Augmented - Rule the Game

Honestly I would have to agree that this does feel a little cobbled together. I think it’s an interesting and fitting premise, but I don’t think it really goes far enough, both in its concept and its lyrical execution. Picking Aria gives you a good chance to write an interesting song about her discontent with the group, and I like that you chose this theme, but the overall concept of just using the metaphor of fame being like a game is quite standard and unoriginal, which isn’t necessarily bad itself if the song is written in an interesting way or with a unique twist, but similarly to the concept being quite middle ground I felt the writing was too. In the past we’ve seen some highly emotive and personal writing from you, and unfortunately this song just didn’t live up to the highs of those, throughout I don’t think there are any specific standout lyrics that are hard hitting or memorable which is why I agree with you saying it feels cobbled together, and this was one of the descriptors for what Aria was looking for so it’s a bit of a miss. Overall I think that the idea and the intention was there, it’s just that the execution didn’t work out, but it’s inevitable that this happens sometimes with any writer. Unfortunately this is not your strongest, but we already know you to be a great writer, so I can only assume that you’ll bounce back next round.

 

@Temporal - In Spades

In a bit of bad luck there ended up already being 2 other songs revolving around game metaphors for Aria, so by now the concept definitely feels beaten to death and not exactly original (which was part of what Aria wanted). Instead of just criticising the concept though, luckily I can say that it is the writing that sticks out to me more here. I think even though it’s an idea that we’ve seen multiple times now, your writing is still strong throughout the song, which makes this case more redeemable. I also think it’s quite fitting that you overall went for a more confident style in the lyrics, as I think this matches well with what I understand of Aria’s personality, and pairs well with the vision you had of this being a very statement piece single along the likes of songs like Look What You Made Me Do or Gimme More. I will say though, it does feel a little short - and maybe this was you trying to write to a pop song formula - but I felt it could’ve been taken further and that the concept could’ve been more developed; and if it had been perhaps it could’ve ended up appearing more unique by the end of it, if you could have explored different areas throughout the song. In particular I’m referring to the second verse and bridge which are both very short at only 4 lines each, and this was a similar case with your first entry. Personally I don’t really believe in the idea of “less is more”, for me more is more, and I’m always happy to see a longer song submitted where we can get more of an opportunity to explore ideas and be impressed by somebody’s write, as opposed to a song that feels cut short to fit a formula; so my advice to your for the future would be to try and submit something more fleshed out and longer, or perhaps we’ll have to bring the ATWTV10MVFTV challenge back again (writing a song over 500 words). Overall I think this is a good entry, while the concept isn’t super enticing your writing makes up for it somewhat, but it would be nice to see a bit more of it I think.

 

@Achilles. - Good Enough for Me

I think this is a fine song but it misses the mark in its interpretation of the challenge. I think the main aspiration for Aria Thurney’s music was that it was supposed to explore novel concepts, and an empowerment breakup song is obviously the exact opposite of novel. That said, I like the song. I think it’s a good exploration of what it feels like to lack control and to be losing something, and this is evident and discussed nicely through the alternate choruses. The story feels complete too, and comes together very nicely with the bridge and the final chorus, where she comes to the realisation that she should be more focused on making things good enough for her, and not for somebody else; quite commonly in this game I’ve noticed that people submit songs where the story doesn’t really go anywhere, it’s a look at a specific moment and a snapshot of somebody’s life, yet it never explores anything that happened before or afterwards so lacks context, to me when writing songs with a strong narrative it’s important to remember that stories are made up, importantly, of beginning, middle, and end, and if you’re writing a song that offers only one of these perspectives then, at least for me, it feels like I’m missing something, but in this case of this song I felt you helped make it quite well rounded with that final chorus and the bridge and illusions to the past throughout, and I guess this is just a pointer if you choose to write similar story focused songs in the future that this is something I appreciated and typically look for in these type of songs. Overall while I think you missed the mark challenge wise, this is a strong song in itself and another good entry from you.

 

@TruGemini - Little White Lie

When I think about it, Diana was the perfect choice for you, which I hadn’t even considered, since your writing is just so full of rhythm that it’s hard for it not to jump off the page, and I think this fits with what Diana’s aim was with very catchy, melodic music. It’s definitely a more thoughtful take on Diana as opposed to “lemme write a pop banger” which seemed to be as far as others went, and I definitely appreciate your effort in trying to make the song not be one note, and I would personally say you achieved the challenge well. Lyrically I think it’s good, I like that you tried to tell this cheating and blackmailing story but for me the narrative could’ve used expanding more, while the song explores how the person is feeling about this situation very well, it doesn’t actually explore the situation itself that much (by which I mean, we hear a lot about how this person is feeling in the aftermath of this, but we don’t actually hear about what happened between them all, if that makes sense, which I think would’ve made the song overall stronger if it had more of this context and set up for these feelings). Ultimately I think this is another good entry for you, fitting for the challenge and an interesting concept, but lyrically not the strongest that we’ve seen from you.

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and that's all my reviews done! see you in 5 hours for results :lakitu:

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