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Golden Hit: Season 2 📀 R5: Reviews posted, results 7 EST 💤 R6: Mix N Match (pg. 50)


Aurora
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24 minutes ago, Aurora said:

Audrey flopping... her statement will be coming later today. As for me, her loyal friend and trusted mentor, all I can say is that while I am disappointed, this won't be the last you hear from Miss Onyx. We will review the two submitted tracks and still have high hopes for her debut album, Ophelia, coming later in the year.

 

I know unlike the other girls, Audrey is capable of writing and producing her own songs without the assistance of co-writers and Audrey was simply interested in new perspectives to see if anyone's creative energy aligned with her own. We might even have a few co-writes of our own up our sleeve. Stay tuned for more details.

Can’t wait for the critics! I know her debut album will be the best of the debuts of the girls besides flopping :clap3: 

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5 hours ago, fountain said:

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Round 2: The Girl Group Challenge, Part 1 

(Future Grammy Award Winner Yin Yin edition)

 

 

@worldwide angel - clarity control

I love this. Your writing is straight up beautiful, this song is incredibly poetic and full of meaning and open to interpretation, and I think this is a wonderful and very fitting take on what Yin Yin was aiming for. You’ve hit exactly what she was going for with the song clearly being personal and emotional, yet also being still enigmatic and open to interpretation; the lyrics say so much, but leave the reader wanting to know more and still missing the exact details, yet it’s still incredibly satisfying to read and explore the possible meanings behind the clearly intentional words. I loved your song last round too, but I would say this already feels like a step up for you, the writing here is just so exquisite.  The imagery throughout is absolutely stunning and diverse, really evoking the reader in multiple vivid ways yet still all feeling purposeful and  relevant to the overall song and its story, which sometimes can be a very difficult balance to strike. I felt your last entry deserved better in terms of score and rankings, and I really hope this one gets the praise it definitely deserves, because I’m very impressed again from you! Perfect, really good job.

 

 

thank you so much :heart2: the advice from round I really helped 

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Third challenge coming tomorrow from @Aurora!! 
 

This should be an ~easier~ challenge focusing on a specific theme, definitely a lot of potential with this one and looking forward to seeing how people incorporate and interpret it! Luckily I don’t think we have had any songs dedicated to it at this point (haven’t read all the Round 2 songs yet though, so there could be). 

:celestial3:

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it's taking me forever to write reviews, but i'll post what i have done in the next hour or two before i head out for the day. the rest will probably come tomorrow 

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41 minutes ago, Jackson said:

it's taking me forever to write reviews, but i'll post what i have done in the next hour or two before i head out for the day. the rest will probably come tomorrow 

dedication :hughard:

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This is my song “vintage” that I wrote for Audrey if u are interested btw :heart:

Spoiler

you took a picture of us and I died for it 

felt everything when you touched my skin

wrapped your hands around me like I was a gift 

smoked me like a mint cigarette on an after sex daylight scene

kissed me like if it was the last thing your mouth will feel

 

everything was sincere

till it wasn’t

 

and now everything’s feel so vintage, haunting me

echoes of the past crashing over my conscience

they said that everything’s has an end

they knew it all of this too well

guess I have to pay the consequences

of loving you to death 

 

hallucinations on your cold bedroom’s floor 

laughing while spinning a record vinyl player on and on

taking showers for two at midnight after drinking wine from Bordeaux

dreaming of you while being next to you after making out love

sucking all of my nights like you were a black hole 

 

everything was so intense 

till it wasn’t

 

and now everything’s feel so vintage, haunting me

echoes of the past crashing over my conscience

they said that everything’s has an end

they knew it all of this too well

guess I have to pay the consequences

of loving you to death 

 

put me in your tongue

when they ask you about first love

enlighten all my thorns 

like the rose you said I was born

red just like the young blood

of our hearts bombing when we made out 

 

everything was so sincere 

everything was so intense

everything was so perfect 

till it ******* wasn’t 

 

and now everything’s feel so vintage, haunting me

echoes of the past crashing over my conscience

they said that everything’s has an end

they knew it all of this too well

guess I have to pay the consequences

of loving you to death 

 

everything was so sincere 

everything was so intense

everything was so perfect 

till it ******* wasn’t 


 

 

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13 minutes ago, Julia Fox said:

This is my song “vintage” that I wrote for Audrey if u are interested btw :heart:

  Reveal hidden contents

you took a picture of us and I died for it 

felt everything when you touched my skin

wrapped your hands around me like I was a gift 

smoked me like a mint cigarette on an after sex daylight scene

kissed me like if it was the last thing your mouth will feel

 

everything was sincere

till it wasn’t

 

and now everything’s feel so vintage, haunting me

echoes of the past crashing over my conscience

they said that everything’s has an end

they knew it all of this too well

guess I have to pay the consequences

of loving you to death 

 

hallucinations on your cold bedroom’s floor 

laughing while spinning a record vinyl player on and on

taking showers for two at midnight after drinking wine from Bordeaux

dreaming of you while being next to you after making out love

sucking all of my nights like you were a black hole 

 

everything was so intense 

till it wasn’t

 

and now everything’s feel so vintage, haunting me

echoes of the past crashing over my conscience

they said that everything’s has an end

they knew it all of this too well

guess I have to pay the consequences

of loving you to death 

 

put me in your tongue

when they ask you about first love

enlighten all my thorns 

like the rose you said I was born

red just like the young blood

of our hearts bombing when we made out 

 

everything was so sincere 

everything was so intense

everything was so perfect 

till it ******* wasn’t 

 

and now everything’s feel so vintage, haunting me

echoes of the past crashing over my conscience

they said that everything’s has an end

they knew it all of this too well

guess I have to pay the consequences

of loving you to death 

 

everything was so sincere 

everything was so intense

everything was so perfect 

till it ******* wasn’t 


 

 

I really like this. It’s haunting. Pop girl ready for her Halloween debut!!

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Great job this week! I want to just state that I try to include highlights and constructive feedback in every review, regardless of how I scored the entry, so just because I say something critical doesn't mean I don't absolutely adore your song. I haven't had time to review my reviews, either, so I apologize in advance for the probable prevalence of spelling mistakes here. 

 

 

 


hurricane326 – Mortal Muse

This was an interesting perspective. It took me a few reads through to fully grasp that this was about a man that left Aria for another man. You’re correct in that there are a lot of lines here that stand on their own, but I find that they still work better together in cohesion. I particularly like “May his hand you hold for comfort/turn to withered skin and fragile bone/we built the house you dare to call his home”. This is an example of a catchy line that serves its intended purpose in the overall story while also drawing attention on its own. I also like these lines because I immediately know what that you’re writing about a former lover when I read them. However, this wasn’t always the case. The lines “the walls I painted pastel soothes/moan your backstabbing laughs” isn’t as catchy and sounds a bit more awkward in its phrasing. Overall, I also found that the song didn’t quite have the pop edge I think was requisite for an Aria song. There are ways to write about a darker subject matter and still have it sound poppy – by keeping to a tight meter and rhyme scheme. While I enjoyed the looser structure here, it made the song read more like a simmering album track than an explosive lead single. I do think the bridge met that level of angsty pop, though – I especially loved “He’s just like me!”. It felt poppy, vengeful, and felt like a “peak” of sorts to the song. While I enjoyed last week’s entry a bit more, I still felt this was a solid second entry from you in its originality and memorable lines.

 

Julia Fox – vintage

I’m happy to see you chose Audrey, because I feel like she’s a great fit for the moody, alt-pop lyrics you’ve become known for. You’ve already mastered this style, and it shows here. Lines like “smoked me like a mint cigarette on an after sex daylight scene” are so uniquely specific and descriptive in a way that’s reminiscent of a Lana or Sky lyric. Even the central “vintage” theme calls back to that 2012 polaroid photograph, vignette Instagram pseudo-vintage era where this genre was born. I want to highlight the way you sprinkle in specific details to paint a picture, because I think you do it really well. When you mention the region the wine your characters drink come, it makes the story much more believable and personal. If anything, I would appreciate even more of these moments in your song. I think there were a few lines here that could have been made more purposeful. While the first couplet of the chorus was quite strong, the second two seemed to say the same thing in different ways when you could have provided additional color to the relationship. Overall, I enjoyed this quite a bit, even more than your first entry.

 

XO_Life – Drink That Up

You really delivered on Diana’s style here. I like that you were able to incorporate something of your own style (the chorus that you’d written years before) and fit it perfectly to the challenge. I liked the personal flair you added that made the song fit the exact artist, adding references to her name and former group. Little touches like that can take a generic pop song and add a lot of personality. I do wish those finishes would have been more prevalent throughout the song. While the verses were filled with personality, the chorus was fairly faceless. It works really well as a pop song – the meter was tight, the rhyme scheme flowed well, and the entire thing was fun and carefree, but isn’t as lyrically strong as it could have been. Still, you nailed the challenge and added a lot of personality while retaining a sense of your own writing style.

 

Hug – Checkmate

I kinda alluded to this in the thread this past week, but I really don’t think your pursuit of writing about something unique was needed – although I understand wanting to push yourself. Last week, I felt that you took a well-worn concept and turned it on its head. I loved that you were able to carve out your own unique space in a story that’s been told over and over. This week, I felt like you took a unique concept and layered in a more ordinary storyline. I don’t think the romantic allusions were totally necessary. The concept of love being a game has been well documented in pop music, whereas I can’t think of many songs written solely about simply playing chess. In that way, I’m glad the romantic elements were the side story. Reading your song exclusively as a game about chess made it a lot more compelling to me. Lyrically, I loved the descriptive poetry of the verses and the way you followed up “waltz and sway” with “twirl and swerve”. There were definitely pop components to the song in the repetition, line length, and meter, but I also appreciated the progression of the storyline through the bridge. The chorus worked well in the song, but didn’t stand out from the rest of the lyrics. Some additional variation in rhyme scheme and structure could have helped this section pop in relation to the verses. I actually found this song to be less memorable than last week’s entry, but you proved yet again that you have complete control over your meter, rhyme scheme, and imagery. BTW – I loved your Diana song and she will be stealing the demo for her debut.

 

beatinglikeadrum – Running away from the sun

In terms of imagery, this song is definitely a huge step up from last week. The colors you paint are so much more vibrant than last week’s song, but it almost feels as though you’re painting them just to see bright colors on a canvas. There’s a lot of imagery here that seems untethered from the overall story, and while I appreciate the detail, I think you could have tied it into the story better. Is there a reason the carpets are made of stones or the stars are green and gold? What about her eyes make them indistinct? There are some instances where you do this  well – “she takes a deep breath and decides to dive” illustrates a very vivid picture while adding to the emotion of the story. There are times when songs read more like poetry, and I think yours even steps towards the edge of poetry and into the realm of pure storytelling. While I think this could be a dangerous choice in other rounds, I think it fit’s Audrey Onyx’s style. I liked the progression of the storyline, although if I had one nitpick, typically a bridge is used as a transition point in a song’s storyline, and here you decided to use the second verse as a transition while simply continuing the second verse in the third/bridge. I think you could have either delayed that transition to the bridge or provided another turning point there, perhaps having the character step back out of the shadows now that she’s built her confidence. Still, this was a very compelling story and an exciting evolution of your songwriting ability.

 

Euterpe – Five Stages

This was a really breezy read. The flow of the song worked really well, but it also had a bit of a lilt to it that felt carefree and almost oceanic. This flow met up with the tone of the song by the end, where Ms Yin had accepted her identity and created her own dream. I had to read through the song a couple times to fully immerse myself in the lyrics, because the actual flow of the song for me was stronger than the lyrical content. Some lines felt more guided by your rhyme scheme than the natural storyline of the song, and there weren’t enough specific details or descriptive imagery to leave a lasting impression of any specific line. Using the five stages of grief as a structural component was a really smart choice, and something that tied into the challenge in a way no one else would likely think of. I think the actual meter, rhyme scheme, and structure did most of the heavy lifting here. Although already a solid entry, I think a few descriptive details would have done a lot to match the level of care that was put into the rest of the song.

 

Better Mistakes – Me and The Girls

This reads more as a BLACKGOLD fan fic than a Yin Yin song to me, but since you seem just as immersed in the BLACKGOLD universe as we are, so perhaps you know more about the girls than I do. I typically try to avoid reading other judges’ reviews before I post mine, but I took a quick look at fountain’s to see if he thought your song was a match for Yin Yin, because it’s very different from what I perceived her to be artistically. That aside, there were elements of the shock factor that worked, and those that didn’t. “When they’d **** me deep in my *****” is kinda a cheap line, but “Diana left me in a crash in the back of her car/ I wore her diamonds on my titties like a Tiffany’s bra” is shocking, a bit offensive, and absolutely brilliant. Shock is one of the easiest emotions to manufacture, but there were some lines here that were genuinely original. While I could have done without the graphic tour of female genitilia, the bop it section was humorous and original. The Xi Jinping line failed to quite land, but the Jesy Nelson shade was practically perfect. This was a pretty uneven song thematically and lyrically, with cringey moments interspersed between lyrical genius, but it was one of the most fun reads of the round regardless.

 

Kylie Jenner – Big Girl (Bang Bang)

Your soundcloud link isn’t working for me L. I’d love to hear what you prepared if you’re still willing to share. This song fit my interpretation of Aria pretty well. It feels very commercial – it reminds me a lot of a mid-2000’s pop song, like something from Kelly Clarkson or Fergie. While the chorus isn’t the most interesting lyrically, the repetition makes it feel quite poppy, and the titular line works well with the overall tone of the song. The third wave feminist vibe works dually as an effective theme for a pop song and something that fits Aria’s wish list.  I also want to highlight the way the prechorus reads – it has an interesting, unusual flow that works really well despite having nonstandard line lengths and rhyming. The song could have benefited from some additional personal details or more descriptive language beyond the fairly simple gun metaphors, and the chorus could have been strengthened with a standout couplet similar to the brilliant bridge, but otherwise there isn’t much specifically to criticize here. You didn’t do anything I could call out as wrong, but I would have appreciated more in terms of detail.

 

JoeAg – Nightlife Empress

You were my #1 song last week, so I was excited to see that you wrote for Diana. I think you nailed exactly what I was looking for. The song was super commercial and had a strong pop edge, but the lyrics were still strong by themselves apart from the challenge brief. You did a fantastic job of including personal details that made the story much more believable. You were also able to inject a lot of personality in lines like “my hips are the garden in front of the labyrinth” and the little Beyoncé-Renaissance-era esque “that’s my fine ass!” interjection. Not every line fit the song perfectly – “I’m stellar, complicate me if you’d like” seemed a bit nonsensical, but most lines felt purposeful and effective in building this nightlife world. The feeling of lust set against the backdrop of a dark nightclub worked really well, and lines like “and the mess in the corner can come dance with us too” added additional dimension that moved the song beyond simply being about a dirty night out. Well done!

 

worldwide angel – clarity control

 

You’d have to confirm with fountain, but this read like the perfect Yin Yin song to me. The entire thing has an air of mystique, with multiple layers that I could see Yin Yangs dissecting like Taylor Swift lyrics. Although I’ve only read a couple songs from you, I’m also getting a strong sense of your style. I appreciate the way you make the most of your lyrics. You typically stick to fairly short lines and sections, yet pack them full of interesting phrases and vivid imagery. Most of the time, you execute this perfectly. I love the opening line, “struck like a seismic shock”, and “strong mind engulfed by clouds/dull sword of wicked wonder” in the chorus. There were a couple lines that didn’t connect as much for me, like “fell from every angle” – how does something fall from multiple angles? Still, those moments were extremely uncommon. I loved the song as a whole. My only suggestion for next week would be to try something new structurally. I already love your writing style, but it couldn’t hurt to experiment and leave us guessing. Regardless, I look forward to what you write next.

 

Augmented – Rule The Game

 

Despite what you (and possibly Aria’s mentor) may think, I think this song fits Aria pretty well. The song, especially the chorus, feel very commercial, but the song also reflects her general feelings about the group and seem to say something beyond just being a commercial single. The chorus was quite catchy – I could see this being a real single, especially for an ex-girl group member. As you alluded in your description, there were times that the song felt a bit rushed. The first pre-chorus felt like filler to me, and many of the lyrics seemed more generic and less specific than usual for you. I think this came down to a lack of inspiration rather than a lack of ability, so I’ll just say that I hope you have the time to write something you feel more confident in next week and I look forward to reading it.

 

Temporal – In Spades 

 

You did a lot of thing wells here. The song flowed well and provided a perspective I hadn’t seen from you before. Some of your lines were incredibly striking, most notably “a diamond dulled with cuts and shuffles” and “to write my rules, I played the game”. However, elsewhere I found that you turned to clichés and songwriting tropes to fill the lines. Similarly to what I highlighted in Hug’s entry, likening betrayal to a game is something that’s been explored in songwriting before. Having cards stacked against you, having a seat at the table, and being a queen in the sheets are all lines we’ve heard before, and I’m not sure you provided anything new to those lines to make them worth including. My assumption is that in entering uncharted songwriting territory, you fell back on familiar lines to fill the gaps between your own songwriting abilities. I’d love to continue seeing you experiment with new themes, but in ways that feel purposeful and provide ways for you to express your thought in new ways, rather than expressing thoughts that have been shared before. In terms of the challenge, I think this straddles the line between a few members. I think Aria’s brief was fairly broad, so it definitely fits there, but I see elements of pop songwriting that would have worked for Diana and enigmatic allusions to BLACKGOLD that could have worked for Yin Yin. I know natural imagery is your forte, so I look forward to seeing what ~tree~ you end up writing about this week.

 

Achilles. – Good Enough for Me 

 

I don’t think this is really a song that fits Aria, or any of the girls, for that matter. It feels like an Achilles. song rather than an ex-BLACKGOLD song. Not that we want you to entirely lose your own personality in this challenge, but it feels like you wrote a song you wanted to write and then just chose the girl that you thought fit the challenge the best. That aside, I think this suffered from some thematic inconsistency. For the most part, this was a song about a relationship, but there were points where you specifically referenced the group (“If I quit the band, if I changed priorities”) that felt forced in to further meet the challenge. To be fair, this was a solid breakup song. Like last week, your opening lines caught my attention – “I think I lost my mind/somewhere between/the last kiss and the first goodbye” and “I think I lost a war/somewhere between/the packed bags and the closing door” were standout lines for the whole round. However, unlike last round, those lines were more concentrated towards the beginning of the song. For what felt like a pretty standard breakup song, there were some more verbose sections that could have been cut down and strengthened the effectiveness of the better lines. To end on a positive, I also have to state that I really enjoyed your closing lines as well – “If I sing louder ‘cause it makes me happy/I think that would be good enough for me” – perhaps you’re happy tossing the challenge aside a bit to write a song that makes you feel good, and if this was that, I commend you even more for it.

 

Legend E – Spa Night 

 

OK I love some of the fan fiction going on in some of these songs. Speculating on why Yin Yin took a hiatus during tour? 10/10 world building. I think I was perhaps the only judge that didn’t love your last entry, so I’m ecstatic to say that this song was fairly flaw free. I think you nailed the challenge – revealing personal details about your artist in a way that feels brutally honest yet poetic enough to hide some of the messy details. Lyrically, you struck just the right balance of raw emotion and vivid imagery. There’s so many highlights here I’d love to quote, so I hope you’re willing to share at some point. The first line felt pointed yet guarded, and the chorus was just perfect. The “dirt” and “pieces” lines were extremely relatable yet so precise and emotive. I’ll just admit that this is my favorite song of the season so far. If I had to make one tiny nitpick, it would be that the rhyme in the second line felt a bit forced, but that’s literally my only note. Excellent work.

 

TruGemini – Little White Lie 

 

I didn’t have any individual contestant in mind when I came up with Diana, but after her wiki page was fully formed I realized she’d be the perfect fit for you, so I’m glad you chose to write for her. You took an angle that I didn’t fully expect in that your theme wasn’t something I highlighted specifically in the challenge post, but I think you correctly concluded that this is still the perfect moody, catchy pop earworm that Diana would die for. I’ll also just leave a little note to the other contestants that I’m an absolute sucker for alliteration and internal rhyming, so I really appreciated the internal rhyming at the end of the first verse. It’s such a great way to make a lyric just a little more fun to read, which lends well to the pop feeling of it. I think you also did a great job of using repetition in your chorus without going overboard or distracting from the lyrics. I do think the format of the chorus, with multiple parenthetical parts, was a bit distracting, but that could have easily been fixed by just taking the second half of the lines out of the parentheses. There were definitely lines that were strong than others (“Face it, go ahead and face it, if I lose my bed at least I can say that I made it” was miles better than “Let me get her fragrance, fire up her playlist”), but I see where each lyric fits into the story, so I really don’t think anything needed to be added or deleted. Great job with the challenge and great song in all.

 

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1 hour ago, Jackson said:

I typically try to avoid reading other judges’ reviews before I post mine, but I took a quick look at fountain’s to see if he thought your song was a match for Yin Yin

It’s really not, but I think that was the point, in a very reverse-Warhorlian expedition way. Take from that what you can. :gaycattel:

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@Jackson carpets made of stones = sacrifice to be famous, walking a painthful path 

stars = famous people

green and gold = money and jewelry

 

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Oops sorry, didn’t realise the link didn’t work. Let me get that now

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Round 2: The Girl Group Challenge, Part 2 

flop edition #1 (Aria Thurney, Diana Diamond, Audrey Onyx)

 

@hurricane326 - Mortal Muse

This is fabulous. I think you’ve perfectly captured that intense essence that you were looking for in writing for Aria, however I would argue that this is equally - or perhaps even more so - fitting for Yin Yin since it is coming from such an emotionally scorned place, and that was one of the key features of Yin Yin’s background. When I imagined her story and experiences, I imagined - and hoped - a song like this could be written; that is to say that I absolutely love this, regardless of which name it was submitted under. Like every other song I have read from you, this is strong from top to bottom, and there is something completely effortless about how you create and paint different pictures with your wonderful lyricism, and that none have ever felt unneeded, or unnecessary, or lesser. It’s as though every part of your songs always plays part into the bigger picture of the overall piece, and the overall story; you always strike a perfect balance and this is something that has become evident to me after reading your writing from both seasons. It’s incredibly impressive, and there’s no doubt to the fact of how gifted and talented you are as a writer, and of course all this praise is accompanied by my main point which is that this song is no different. Another very great job. 

 

@Julia Fox - vintage

I think this is perfectly fitting for Audrey, it does have that very indie-pop, Tumblr-esque, personal diary essence that I can relate that to, but it also, as you aimed for, still feels very you, as opposed to a cosplay, I think you’ve still retained your individuality and style while also fitting the challenge. I think this is one of the strongest submissions you have had yet, this feels very refined and I think this has some of your best and most vivid lyricism yet; in some of your other songs some things have got a little muddled or confused at times, but this time everything is straight to the point and clear. Evidently, the Julia Fox songwriting growth is continual! The central premise of the song is really great too, comparing a relationship that was once full of love, which has now come to pass and turned sour, as feeling vintage is really clever. Overall I would definitely say this is up there as one of your best songs yet, you’re really bringing it this season and it’s clear what growth you have made as a writer through your participation which is absolutely something you should be proud of. Great job.

 

@XO_Life - Drink That Up

I do think that taking on a song like this was a risk. The positives are that it really is undeniably catchy, both from the voice memo you shared but also the lyrics themselves, they certainly sound like something that could’ve been a hit around 2012 or so. It’s also definitely fitting for Diana, since clearly she wanted to go down the pop route, and this certainly is that to the core. However, I do think there are some genuine criticisms to be made. You said this yourself but the song is very repetitive, you’re aware of this and sure it aids the catchiness and the “this song is stuck in my head and won’t get out” factor, but it means there is much less chance to impress us lyrically when entire sections of the song (eg. the bridge) is just a copy and paste of an earlier section (the chorus) which itself is already 4/7 lines of “I’m drinking that up”. Secondly, while the description for Diana was obviously aiming at a pop song which could be a smash (which this certainly is), it also stated she was looking for songs with colourful metaphors and imagery, of which this song is definitely lacking. I think the main point to make is that just because a song is pop, or is aiming to be a hit, doesn’t mean that it has to be basic; for as many hit songs as there are about drinking, there are even more that have an interesting premise and memorable, unique lyrics. Now, it’s hard to be too tough because this song obviously is a very valid interpretation of what Diana Diamond is looking for, and it was probably quite fun to write and envision too, but this is definitely some advice for the future that it is important to make sure that your songs are 1. unique to yourself as a writer, and 2. interesting to read, which unfortunately I would say this song was neither, and I’m sure that you can achieve these things, it is just that this song is not an example of it. Ultimately, it’s clear that your aim here was to write a fun, summer, carefree pop song, and in that I would agree you succeeded.

 

@Hug - Checkmate

I definitely would say this is fitting for Aria, a song that can be open to interpretation and takes a more unusual concept and execution, so you’ve succeeded in the challenge. Overall I enjoyed the song, but I do think I have a few criticisms. The description of what Aria was looking for also mentioned have hard hitting one liner lyrics, and I would say throughout the song there weren’t any specific lyrics that jumped out to me or made me say “that was a really great/interesting idea”, which is odd because I’d say that’s something you usually are pretty good at, I felt rather that the lyrics while remaining to the central theme and always relevant to the song, didn’t really stick out in any certain way either (neither bad or good). And while I do think that the song is an interesting read, I don’t really agree with you where you said it is more a song about chess with romantic metaphors as opposed to a song about romance with chess metaphors. Overall the song is very comparable to Shadow by f(x) I think (the concept of each song is pretty much the same but rather with a different metaphor used instead) and I think the main thing that makes that song walk the line and be very interesting and playful with it’s lyrics is that it doesn’t use any gendered pronoun language. With that, it’s very easy for the song to walk that line and read in both ways as a song about a shadow, but also a romantic song. Whereas here, with the heavy use of gendered pronouns throughout your song (they are in every section of the song apart from the first verse, with which I would argue the first verse is the strongest and excels at your aim the best) it’s hard to detach from the image of the counterpart to the song being a “he”, with which the picture that is assumed in your mind is that of a man, rather than a chess piece, because if you’re a referring to a chess piece you are more likely to use language such a it/they, which I think would’ve made your song stronger overall and more fitting with the concept. Hopefully I explained that properly and it makes sense, but I guess the tldr is that when you constantly refer to a “he” throughout your song you ultimately end up making the read imagine a man, as opposed to a chess piece, through which I felt the song didn’t appear more as a song about chess as opposed to a song about a romantic relationship, and didn’t have the balance and ambiguity of something like Shadow by f(x). All that said, the song itself is still strong, there were just some missed opportunities I feel, but the overall idea and the execution is good, it just perhaps could have been taken further and pushed more into its originality and concept. 

 

@beatinglikeadrum - Running Away From the Sun

Yup no doubt at all that this is better than last round!

I think you’ve done the challenge well and that this is fitting for Audrey, it’s got that confessional and personal “I wrote this in my bedroom” vibe that she is going for, but I also find it to be quite suited for Yin Yin too with how it looks at the darker side of the success, and wanting to escape it (which was one of Yin Yin’s main themes). That said, it doesn’t matter who you submitted it for, as it’s a good interpretation of the challenge regardless. Lyrically I think this is strong too, there’s lots of really lovely imagery, and I enjoy the overall environmental and natural feel to the song, from the mentions of waterfalls, the Milky Way, water, the ocean, wind, the sky, and of course the sun; overall this was all very nice and I think worked well with your song and also the story being told and the central theme. Altogether, I think this is a good entry and certainly shows your skills as a writer much better than last round, of course it’s a disservice to compare this to your submission last round because that was obviously more of an irreverent entry, but it’s evident that you clicked with this challenge easier and I’m glad you did, and hopefully it’s the same for the future rounds! As a final note, I’d love to see you go even further and push yourself to write a more poetic song; I felt a few poetic hints here and I think it would be interesting to see you really channel your poetic side and see how deep you can take it, that is if you wish to.

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4 hours ago, beatinglikeadrum said:

@Jackson carpets made of stones = sacrifice to be famous, walking a painthful path 

stars = famous people

green and gold = money and jewelry

 

thanks for the clarification :heart2:

3 hours ago, Kylie Jenner said:

Nevermind soundcloud is down :rip: 

oop i didn't even notice :skull: 

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A few more reviews for the girls x my last few will come by early tomorrow

 

If it looks weird or the text is ****** it’s because I posted from mobile. If there are typos, no there aren’t. 
 

Also I believe the third challenge is coming any moment now…

:celestial3:

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 Emblem-Banner-S2.png

 

Welcome, writers! This past week you've all been busily crafting demos for ex-members of the global girl group BLɅϽKGO⅃D.

Your efforts are being carefully scrutinised by label heads and the girls' mentors (us judges), and maybe the girls if they're lucky.

However, the show must go on! Aria Thurney, Diana Diamond, Audrey Onyx, and Yin Yin aren't your sole focus, so let's move along.

 

Without further ado, let me introduce you all to the third round of Season 2...

Ribbon-Challenge-S2-R3.png

 

Another Golden Hit original challenge! It's now September, which means for most hitmakers it's the beginning of the Fall/Autumn season (or Spring for us in the southern hemisphere). One of the most well-known and appreciated characteristics of these seasons is the noticeably beautiful changes deciduous trees undergo when transitioning between Summer and Winter, so we've decided to appreciate them before they're gone for a few months. :celestial3:

 

In short, this challenge will focus on songs inspired by trees, and the important characteristics associated with them. Take deciduous trees for example, perhaps you may choose to write a song inspired by their impermanence. Despite its name (which sounded better on paper than "Tree challenge"), this challenge is open to other sources of inspiration derived from trees, such as an evergreen tree's eternal promise, or the use of a tree as a central element in a narrative-driven storytelling style song. Ensure you are using your tree(s) of choice as the source of inspiration for your song, rather than slotting it into a verse as an afterthought. As always, you can be as literal or metaphorical as you desire.

 

Judge's Tips

📀 Where to start? Here is a list of 101 Different Types of Trees. Something here may pique your interest, so you're not barking up the wrong tree. :eli:
📀 While name-dropping your tree of choice in the title or lyrics of your song is fine, try making us connect to its characteristics, rather than reading it!
📀 There are plenty of hit songs inspired by trees, however we're not looking for 15 rewrites of Taylor Swift's "willow"! Originality is important.

 

Songs due via Google Form submission by Thu. Sep 8, 11:59PM EST

 

fountain and I were personally very excited about this challenge, so we hope it has the same impact on you all. Nature can be very inspiring! The top three submissions will earn their writers a Hit Token, so make sure to submit for your chance at one of those. If you have not yet signed up for Golden Hit: Season 2, that's fine! Just submit an entry and we'll add you to the sign-ups list.

 

Emblem-Crest-S2.png

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Love this challenge :jonnycat:

 

there are so many ways this can be interpreted and taken. really looking forward to seeing your trees grow!

 

:celestial3::celestial3::celestial3:

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Oh no, Ley Lines behavior.

 

Time to bring this back:

 

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17 minutes ago, Aurora said:

 Emblem-Banner-S2.png

 

Welcome, writers! This past week you've all been busily crafting demos for ex-members of the global girl group BLɅϽKGO⅃D.

Your efforts are being carefully scrutinised by label heads and the girls' mentors (us judges), and maybe the girls if they're lucky.

However, the show must go on! Aria Thurney, Diana Diamond, Audrey Onyx, and Yin Yin aren't your sole focus, so let's move along.

 

Without further ado, let me introduce you all to the third round of Season 2...

Ribbon-Challenge-S2-R3.png

 

Another Golden Hit original challenge! It's now September, which means for most hitmakers it's the beginning of the Fall/Autumn season (or Spring for us in the southern hemisphere). One of the most well-known and appreciated characteristics of these seasons is the noticeably beautiful changes deciduous trees undergo when transitioning between Summer and Winter, so we've decided to appreciate them before they're gone for a few months. :celestial3:

 

In short, this challenge will focus on songs inspired by trees, and the important characteristics associated with them. Take deciduous trees for example, perhaps you may choose to write a song inspired by their impermanence. Despite its name (which sounded better on paper than "Tree challenge"), this challenge is open to other sources of inspiration derived from trees, such as an evergreen tree's eternal promise, or the use of a tree as a central element in a narrative-driven storytelling style song. Ensure you are using your tree(s) of choice as the source of inspiration for your song, rather than slotting it into a verse as an afterthought. As always, you can be as literal or metaphorical as you desire.

 

Judge's Tips

📀 Where to start? Here is a list of 101 Different Types of Trees. Something here may pique your interest, so you're not barking up the wrong tree. :eli:
📀 While name-dropping your tree of choice in the title or lyrics of your song is fine, try making us connect to its characteristics, rather than reading it!
📀 There are plenty of hit songs inspired by trees, however we're not looking for 15 rewrites of Taylor Swift's "willow"! Originality is important.

 

Songs due via Google Form submission by Thu. Sep 8, 11:59PM EST

 

fountain and I were personally very excited about this challenge, so we hope it has the same impact on you all. Nature can be very inspiring! The top three submissions will earn their writers a Hit Token, so make sure to submit for your chance at one of those. If you have not yet signed up for Golden Hit: Season 2, that's fine! Just submit an entry and we'll add you to the sign-ups list.

 

Emblem-Crest-S2.png

It has come to my attention that, much like a deciduous tree's fallen leaves, some names fell off the tag list between rounds. This has been fixed! Re-tagging just in case this broke any mentions. :celestial3:
 

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Not gonna lie I hate this challenge because I don’t know that much about trees but I think I have an idea but don’t know how it will go lol 

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Can we expect a "Roots Grow Deeper" follow-up @Achilles.? :jonny5:

5 minutes ago, Julia Fox said:

Not gonna lie I hate this challenge because I don’t know that much about trees but I think I have an idea but don’t know how it will go lol 

That's the beauty of Golden Hit, we're all about experimentation! If you provide a similar conceptual unique perspective as you did with "Crying Birds", I'll absolutely be excited to see what you come up with. :duca:

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