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Golden Hit: Season 2 📀 R5: Reviews posted, results 7 EST 💤 R6: Mix N Match (pg. 50)


Aurora
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oh cute, expected worse :heart: 

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18 minutes ago, Aurora said:

Ribbon-Reviews-S2-Aurora.png

 

Hey, Hitmakers! Thank you all for supporting and submitting for Round 1 of Golden Hit: Season 2! It was a pleasure reading all of your songs again. :heart2:

Due to time constraints on my end, my reviews for R1 are going to be on the shorter side. Fortunately, I should be able to delve in a little deeper for R2!

If there is anything in your review that you do not wish to have public (lyric excerpts, references to your material etc.) I will remove it upon request.

 

  Hide contents

1. @Kylie Jenner - “Eve”
I enjoyed this a lot. Your animal of choice was clever, and complemented the well known tale of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden very naturally. The lyrics and images that referred to the snake, such as spitting words like venom, “cold blooded love”, and the latter part of the bridge were definitely highlights. Thank you for a strong start to Golden Hit: Season 2!

2. @Julia Fox - “Crying Birds”
This was a hauntingly beautiful sentiment. It’s very true that the common folk’s understanding of avian communication is rather rudimentary, and what we may interpret as happy, carefree singing could be something else entirely. I also interpreted this piece as sort of a pessimist’s worldview; everything has been so sad since that special someone left, that even happy birds are interpreted as a negative. Thought-provoking!

3. @DatChickDoe - “Bite”
I definitely wasn’t expecting this animal inspiration, but I’m pleasantly surprised. You could have gone down the water imagery angle, and while you did a little in the second verse, I like how you’ve committed to a dance club setting. The image of someone circling the dance floor like a shark circling its prey definitely worked! I’m glad you had fun, because I had fun reading it, and it was nice to see something like this from you this season.

4. @Hug - “Lilith”
I certainly didn’t anticipate many overlapping animals this round, let alone the specific snake from the garden of Eden. Curious! This was an interesting offering from you, and I enjoyed the risk of some of the more archaic syntax. It was a definitely stylistic choice that I believe aided this piece. We love an equality anthem, and as far as they go, this was definitely a strong one.

5. @worldwide angel - “Eternal”
Welcome to the tournament! This was a nice first offering from you, I didn’t pick up on your animal inspiration at first but upon a re-read, lyrics such as the first journey and “sturdy shield” made a lot more sense. You have a strong sense of rhythm and, I imagine, melody. Lyrically, I think there was definitely more room for opportunity to expand on some of those comparisons between daydreaming in the shower and a turtle in a waterfall, and creating some interesting, deep metaphors while retaining all of that lovely imagery. Well done!

6. @Allday - “Animal For You”
I will update this review once your song is accessible. :matty:

7. @Better Mistakes - “Don't Leave My Life”
I didn’t pick up on the animal inspiration until I read your other information section, which in reality just means your song could be interpreted in a number of different ways. I think for this specific challenge, it would have been strengthened by a handful of lyrics that made it clear it was from a pet’s perspective amongst the more ambiguous and all-applicable lyricism. The bridge could have been that perfect “a-ha” moment where any misconceptions that the song is from the point of view of a person rather than an animal are cleared up.

8. @hurricane326 - “I Walk Alone”
This was fantastic! Being an uncultured Australian, I hadn’t actually heard of the Jersey Devil, so that was certainly an eye-opening read. After a quick education from the University of Wikipedia, I can say you’ve done a wonderful effort to integrate so many details into this piece, yet when reading it unaware of these details, it still translates as an epic, almost Nordic folk type song. Your unique style and poetic aptitude served you well here, and this was a strong debut for you this season.

9. @EpicSongFan - “Sweet Escape”
Birds and wolves are definitely solid choices for inspiration, especially in a contrasting manner such as this. The second verse is great, combining the nightclub setting with the animal inspiration in a wonderfully metaphorical manner. At times, I felt as if there were too many contrasting images or ideas that didn’t seem to fit these core themes (nightclub, birds/wolves) such as the crown of thorns, and seeking treasure. Honing in on your main ideas and making everything work together would have elevated this even more.

10. @XO_Life - “Body Make-Up”
I’d like to preface this review by saying I don’t know a lot about this situation, and don’t wish or intend to cause any offence. The connection to your animal inspiration was very, very loose, and that’s being generous. The “snake” in question is referring to the definition of a treacherous or deceitful person rather than the animal itself. That aside, this had an opportunity to be a statement piece, but I don’t think it packed enough of an emotional punch, for want of a better term. You definitely have potential and I look forward to your next song!


11. @beatinglikeadrum - “Cock-a-doodle-do”

Oh wow, trying to upstage Remmy’s iconic “Flowerbloom”, are we?! This was really something. I honestly really liked your verses, you integrated the bird references very well, and there were some genuinely funny lines. “You're acting like a peacock but you're lacking the feathers,” was great, and I legitimately screamed at, “I'll only think about you while reading a horoscope for the chinese zodiac signs.” I get the chorus, but I would have liked to see something more lyrically engaging, and I know you’re capable of that! The “Cola” reference tho, on point.

 

12. @camfuckingrockwell - “Bluebird”

This was a little on the shorter side. To me, this reads like a fantastic starting point for a song! You have two verses, a chorus, and maybe a bridge or outro section. Your animal of choice was a good fit for the style of song you have gone for. With some expansion and rearrangement, this definitely has potential.

 

13. @TruGemini - “Whisked Away”
I honestly don’t know if this is chaos or genius. Chaotic genius, perhaps? Writing a song that can be interpreted from the perspective of a humble fish or an arrested human was certainly not what I expected going into reading this entry, yet somehow you made it work. Part of me still thinks it’s a bit of a reach, but hey, it’s your art! Thank you for the creative concept.

14. @Jack! - “Teddy Bear”
Similarly to TruGemini’s review, I don’t know if this is chaos or genius? Objectively speaking this was quite a fun read, even if I didn’t really “click” what the song was about until maybe halfway through since I’m definitely not so inclined. I’m here to judge entries however, not people, and this was a well-constructed, well-written, and highly inventive song. The animal inspiration was loose, but I can see the trail of thought clearly. Nice work!

15. @Augmented - “Night owl”
Lack of inspiration, who? Or should I say hoot? :eli: I love owls! This was such a wonderfully constructed song from the way it seemed as if it was setting up to depict the owl and boy as unlikely friends/allies in the dead of night, to the revelation of the true meaning of the song. Being a night owl myself, as well as one who has snuck out after dark to experience similar rendezvous, I felt very connected to this piece. Just wonderful!

16. @Gavin. - “Stung”
Ooh, another rather unique choice of animal, albeit a clever one. Scorpions definitely lend themselves to lyrical interpretation, I think! The prechorus was really wonderful here. I’d have liked to see longer verses that expanded on the metaphor more, the bridge was a great balance of metaphor and true meaning. Overall I think this was a really solid approach to the challenge. A good debut!

17. @Legend E - “Moving With The Speed of Light”
I’m enjoying seeing all of these different animal inspirations and their clever lyrical interpretations. The cheetah/cheater angle was done well, reinforced by the fast life aspect also. While I can’t relate a lot to this piece, I consider it to be a well formulated and cleverly written work. The floor stained red by ignored feelings was a powerful image. An exciting start to this season for you!

18. @Achilles. - “Hibernate”
I knew you were worried about nothing! This was another strong offering from you. The usage of “bear” in the non-animal sense throughout the verses was clever, and didn’t feel thrown in haphazardly. The chorus was simple, sweet, and effective. We’ve all wanted that before. I’m not sure if you were making a political statement in the second verse, but it definitely could be interpreted as a reference to deforestation and global warming alike, which is fantastic. A stellar outing from you this season.

19. @Euterpe - “Small Beginnings”
This was very nice, perhaps almost too nice? Baby sea turtles have one of the most notoriously difficult journeys from sand to sea upon hatching, as even outlined in the video you linked. It almost feels remiss not to represent this? That said, this was a well-written piece from a more literal interpretation of the challenge and, for the lucky few who do make it, it is a nice ode to them.

20. @Temporal - “Halcyon’s Wings”
Welcome back to the fold! I haven’t had the pleasure of reading any of your material in a long while, and I have to say it has been worth the wait. Your inspiration was beautiful, and the selection of the Halcyon birds complemented the word’s adjective meaning in a clever manner. The uncaged bird imagery in the second verse was another great moment for these two intersecting concepts. The closing couplet in the chorus really was just lovely. Thank you for submitting!

21. @Remmy - “THE ZOO”

Oh wow, I definitely did not expect this angle from you!! /s In all seriousness, I think the break between seasons was kind to you, this was definitely your strongest sex bop since “Flowerbloom”. Like the aforementioned, it satisfied the challenge in an interesting way without compromising on quality, standout lyrics. Admittedly, not everything is sensational, but the Barrier Reef section sent me, and—I won’t lie—I ugly cry-laughed at, “Suckin' out my milk while I let out a moo”.

 

952fd9f49eba7f77f6766ed0d498342b63035896


22. @JoeAg - “Tyto Alba”

I really love owls. This was quite simply immaculate. Definitely my favourite song you’ve submitted for a Golden Hit tournament thus far, it resonated with me so intensely. It satisfied the challenge in a way that felt so effortless and natural and I almost got lost in the beauty and honesty of this song. I don’t really have much more to say other than thank you for writing this and sharing it with us.

Repost for the new page! :celestial5:

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19 minutes ago, Aurora said:

Ribbon-Reviews-S2-Aurora.png

 

Hey, Hitmakers! Thank you all for supporting and submitting for Round 1 of Golden Hit: Season 2! It was a pleasure reading all of your songs again. :heart2:

Due to time constraints on my end, my reviews for R1 are going to be on the shorter side. Fortunately, I should be able to delve in a little deeper for R2!

If there is anything in your review that you do not wish to have public (lyric excerpts, references to your material etc.) I will remove it upon request.

 

  Reveal hidden contents

1. @Kylie Jenner - “Eve”
I enjoyed this a lot. Your animal of choice was clever, and complemented the well known tale of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden very naturally. The lyrics and images that referred to the snake, such as spitting words like venom, “cold blooded love”, and the latter part of the bridge were definitely highlights. Thank you for a strong start to Golden Hit: Season 2!

2. @Julia Fox - “Crying Birds”
This was a hauntingly beautiful sentiment. It’s very true that the common folk’s understanding of avian communication is rather rudimentary, and what we may interpret as happy, carefree singing could be something else entirely. I also interpreted this piece as sort of a pessimist’s worldview; everything has been so sad since that special someone left, that even happy birds are interpreted as a negative. Thought-provoking!

3. @DatChickDoe - “Bite”
I definitely wasn’t expecting this animal inspiration, but I’m pleasantly surprised. You could have gone down the water imagery angle, and while you did a little in the second verse, I like how you’ve committed to a dance club setting. The image of someone circling the dance floor like a shark circling its prey definitely worked! I’m glad you had fun, because I had fun reading it, and it was nice to see something like this from you this season.

4. @Hug - “Lilith”
I certainly didn’t anticipate many overlapping animals this round, let alone the specific snake from the garden of Eden. Curious! This was an interesting offering from you, and I enjoyed the risk of some of the more archaic syntax. It was a definitely stylistic choice that I believe aided this piece. We love an equality anthem, and as far as they go, this was definitely a strong one.

5. @worldwide angel - “Eternal”
Welcome to the tournament! This was a nice first offering from you, I didn’t pick up on your animal inspiration at first but upon a re-read, lyrics such as the first journey and “sturdy shield” made a lot more sense. You have a strong sense of rhythm and, I imagine, melody. Lyrically, I think there was definitely more room for opportunity to expand on some of those comparisons between daydreaming in the shower and a turtle in a waterfall, and creating some interesting, deep metaphors while retaining all of that lovely imagery. Well done!

6. @Allday - “Animal For You”
I will update this review once your song is accessible. :matty:

7. @Better Mistakes - “Don't Leave My Life”
I didn’t pick up on the animal inspiration until I read your other information section, which in reality just means your song could be interpreted in a number of different ways. I think for this specific challenge, it would have been strengthened by a handful of lyrics that made it clear it was from a pet’s perspective amongst the more ambiguous and all-applicable lyricism. The bridge could have been that perfect “a-ha” moment where any misconceptions that the song is from the point of view of a person rather than an animal are cleared up.

8. @hurricane326 - “I Walk Alone”
This was fantastic! Being an uncultured Australian, I hadn’t actually heard of the Jersey Devil, so that was certainly an eye-opening read. After a quick education from the University of Wikipedia, I can say you’ve done a wonderful effort to integrate so many details into this piece, yet when reading it unaware of these details, it still translates as an epic, almost Nordic folk type song. Your unique style and poetic aptitude served you well here, and this was a strong debut for you this season.

9. @EpicSongFan - “Sweet Escape”
Birds and wolves are definitely solid choices for inspiration, especially in a contrasting manner such as this. The second verse is great, combining the nightclub setting with the animal inspiration in a wonderfully metaphorical manner. At times, I felt as if there were too many contrasting images or ideas that didn’t seem to fit these core themes (nightclub, birds/wolves) such as the crown of thorns, and seeking treasure. Honing in on your main ideas and making everything work together would have elevated this even more.

10. @XO_Life - “Body Make-Up”
I’d like to preface this review by saying I don’t know a lot about this situation, and don’t wish or intend to cause any offence. The connection to your animal inspiration was very, very loose, and that’s being generous. The “snake” in question is referring to the definition of a treacherous or deceitful person rather than the animal itself. That aside, this had an opportunity to be a statement piece, but I don’t think it packed enough of an emotional punch, for want of a better term. You definitely have potential and I look forward to your next song!


11. @beatinglikeadrum - “Cock-a-doodle-do”

Oh wow, trying to upstage Remmy’s iconic “Flowerbloom”, are we?! This was really something. I honestly really liked your verses, you integrated the bird references very well, and there were some genuinely funny lines. “You're acting like a peacock but you're lacking the feathers,” was great, and I legitimately screamed at, “I'll only think about you while reading a horoscope for the chinese zodiac signs.” I get the chorus, but I would have liked to see something more lyrically engaging, and I know you’re capable of that! The “Cola” reference tho, on point.

 

12. @camfuckingrockwell - “Bluebird”

This was a little on the shorter side. To me, this reads like a fantastic starting point for a song! You have two verses, a chorus, and maybe a bridge or outro section. Your animal of choice was a good fit for the style of song you have gone for. With some expansion and rearrangement, this definitely has potential.

 

13. @TruGemini - “Whisked Away”
I honestly don’t know if this is chaos or genius. Chaotic genius, perhaps? Writing a song that can be interpreted from the perspective of a humble fish or an arrested human was certainly not what I expected going into reading this entry, yet somehow you made it work. Part of me still thinks it’s a bit of a reach, but hey, it’s your art! Thank you for the creative concept.

14. @Jack! - “Teddy Bear”
Similarly to TruGemini’s review, I don’t know if this is chaos or genius? Objectively speaking this was quite a fun read, even if I didn’t really “click” what the song was about until maybe halfway through since I’m definitely not so inclined. I’m here to judge entries however, not people, and this was a well-constructed, well-written, and highly inventive song. The animal inspiration was loose, but I can see the trail of thought clearly. Nice work!

15. @Augmented - “Night owl”
Lack of inspiration, who? Or should I say hoot? :eli: I love owls! This was such a wonderfully constructed song from the way it seemed as if it was setting up to depict the owl and boy as unlikely friends/allies in the dead of night, to the revelation of the true meaning of the song. Being a night owl myself, as well as one who has snuck out after dark to experience similar rendezvous, I felt very connected to this piece. Just wonderful!

16. @Gavin. - “Stung”
Ooh, another rather unique choice of animal, albeit a clever one. Scorpions definitely lend themselves to lyrical interpretation, I think! The prechorus was really wonderful here. I’d have liked to see longer verses that expanded on the metaphor more, the bridge was a great balance of metaphor and true meaning. Overall I think this was a really solid approach to the challenge. A good debut!

17. @Legend E - “Moving With The Speed of Light”
I’m enjoying seeing all of these different animal inspirations and their clever lyrical interpretations. The cheetah/cheater angle was done well, reinforced by the fast life aspect also. While I can’t relate a lot to this piece, I consider it to be a well formulated and cleverly written work. The floor stained red by ignored feelings was a powerful image. An exciting start to this season for you!

18. @Achilles. - “Hibernate”
I knew you were worried about nothing! This was another strong offering from you. The usage of “bear” in the non-animal sense throughout the verses was clever, and didn’t feel thrown in haphazardly. The chorus was simple, sweet, and effective. We’ve all wanted that before. I’m not sure if you were making a political statement in the second verse, but it definitely could be interpreted as a reference to deforestation and global warming alike, which is fantastic. A stellar outing from you this season.

19. @Euterpe - “Small Beginnings”
This was very nice, perhaps almost too nice? Baby sea turtles have one of the most notoriously difficult journeys from sand to sea upon hatching, as even outlined in the video you linked. It almost feels remiss not to represent this? That said, this was a well-written piece from a more literal interpretation of the challenge and, for the lucky few who do make it, it is a nice ode to them.

20. @Temporal - “Halcyon’s Wings”
Welcome back to the fold! I haven’t had the pleasure of reading any of your material in a long while, and I have to say it has been worth the wait. Your inspiration was beautiful, and the selection of the Halcyon birds complemented the word’s adjective meaning in a clever manner. The uncaged bird imagery in the second verse was another great moment for these two intersecting concepts. The closing couplet in the chorus really was just lovely. Thank you for submitting!

21. @Remmy - “THE ZOO”

Oh wow, I definitely did not expect this angle from you!! /s In all seriousness, I think the break between seasons was kind to you, this was definitely your strongest sex bop since “Flowerbloom”. Like the aforementioned, it satisfied the challenge in an interesting way without compromising on quality, standout lyrics. Admittedly, not everything is sensational, but the Barrier Reef section sent me, and—I won’t lie—I ugly cry-laughed at, “Suckin' out my milk while I let out a moo”.

 

952fd9f49eba7f77f6766ed0d498342b63035896


22. @JoeAg - “Tyto Alba”

I really love owls. This was quite simply immaculate. Definitely my favourite song you’ve submitted for a Golden Hit tournament thus far, it resonated with me so intensely. It satisfied the challenge in a way that felt so effortless and natural and I almost got lost in the beauty and honesty of this song. I don’t really have much more to say other than thank you for writing this and sharing it with us.

Just to clarify if I’m not that way inclined of what my lyrics were getting at either. :skull: I maybe didn’t explain as well as I should have in the comments section of the submission page but a lot of my writing is character based. Writing from a fake perspective or creating false narratives to find inspiration. It’s all in good fun even if it’s with a darker tone.

Edited by Jack!
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Ayyy period :sats: The prompt basically invited me to do it like this so I had to! Plus I might as well get a sex bop out of the way since I won't be participating in every round, and it's how I started S1. :gaycat2: I was slightly uninspired + rushing myself so I can understand that every line didn't hit :fan: "I ugly cry-laughed at, “Suckin' out my milk while I let out a moo”." :oh::oh:

 

 

also here's my song if anyone wants to read :hippo:

 

"THE ZOO"


[verse 1/intro]
Freedom in the fields
That's all that I want
Can't stand this captivity
When will someone rescue me?


Free just like a cheetah
Running under the sun
I guess this is the moment
Where I just come undone...


[beat switches up]

[verse 2]
Uncaged, rip my chastity belt off
This little piggy want 5 fingers down my hole
I'm like a bird, b*tch I just left the nest
So many big beasts around me, I'm losing all control


Oh wow, oh my, good God, good grief
Bed end up wetter than the Barrier Reef
And the smell's fishy too, like tuna mixed with glue
I know you want this tasty cod, all inside of you


Oh my, oh wow, good grief, good God
He can be my little s*xy arthropod
Legs are shakin' and my d*ck's all throbbed
And I got a back that's begging to be clawed


[chorus]
Come to my bedroom, get a ticket to the zoo
Don't be alarmed if there's a long queue
P*ssy pink, red meat, it takes some time to chew
But you gnaw on the beef like rent's past due


Come to my bedroom, get a ticket to the zoo
Suckin' out my milk while I let out a moo
Fat free and organic, yeah you already knew
I don't care who sees, I bet they'll love the view


[verse 3]
I'm the freakiest b*tch in my genus
You'll understand once you see this p*nis
Thick and wide, curved at an angle
It bent a little bit after getting strangled


I look over, I can tell the rabbits are jealous
And they wish their gooch could be this hairless
Got a full audience, but we're not embarrassed
Life expectancy's low, so my time is precious


Gonna make so many kids (so we'll never be endangered)
You'll be the perfect dad ('cause you're so good-natured)
This juice that I have (is best when it's savored)
The monkeys gave me a c*ndom... banana flavored!


[chorus]
Come to my bedroom, get a ticket to the zoo
Don't be alarmed if there's a long queue
P*ssy pink, red meat, it takes some time to chew
But you gnaw on the beef like rent's past due


Come to my bedroom, get a ticket to the zoo
Suckin' out my milk while I let out a moo
Fat free and organic, yeah you already knew
I don't care who sees, I bet they'll love the view


[outro]
This c*ck like a rooster, wake you up in the mornin'
Open your eyes, then we get the c*m pourin'
Ain't got no rabies but you keep my mouth foamin'
F*ck 50 times a week, check the CCTV recordin'

 

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5 minutes ago, Remmy said:

Ayyy period :sats: The prompt basically invited me to do it like this so I had to! Plus I might as well get a sex bop out of the way since I won't be participating in every round, and it's how I started S1. :gaycat2: I was slightly uninspired + rushing myself so I can understand that every line didn't hit :fan: "I ugly cry-laughed at, “Suckin' out my milk while I let out a moo”." :oh::oh:

 

 

also here's my song if anyone wants to read :hippo:

 

  Hide contents

 


[verse 1/intro]
Freedom in the fields
That's all that I want
Can't stand this captivity
When will someone rescue me?


 

Free just like a cheetah
Running under the sun
I guess this is the moment
Where I just come undone...


 

[beat switches up]

 

[verse 2]
Uncaged, rip my chastity belt off
This little piggy want 5 fingers down my hole
I'm like a bird, b*tch I just left the nest
So many big beasts around me, I'm losing all control


 

Oh wow, oh my, good God, good grief
Bed end up wetter than the Barrier Reef
And the smell's fishy too, like tuna mixed with glue
I know you want this tasty cod, all inside of you


 

Oh my, oh wow, good grief, good God
He can be my little s*xy arthropod
Legs are shakin' and my d*ck's all throbbed
And I got a back that's begging to be clawed


 

[chorus]
Come to my bedroom, get a ticket to the zoo
Don't be alarmed if there's a long queue
P*ssy pink, red meat, it takes some time to chew
But you gnaw on the beef like rent's past due


 

Come to my bedroom, get a ticket to the zoo
Suckin' out my milk while I let out a moo
Fat free and organic, yeah you already knew
I don't care who sees, I bet they'll love the view


 

[verse 3]
I'm the freakiest b*tch in my genus
You'll understand once you see this p*nis
Thick and wide, curved at an angle
It bent a little bit after getting strangled


 

I look over, I can tell the rabbits are jealous
And they wish their gooch could be this hairless
Got a full audience, but we're not embarrassed
Life expectancy's low, so my time is precious


 

Gonna make so many kids (so we'll never be endangered)
You'll be the perfect dad ('cause you're so good-natured)
This juice that I have (is best when it's savored)
The monkeys gave me a c*ndom... banana flavored!


 

[chorus]
Come to my bedroom, get a ticket to the zoo
Don't be alarmed if there's a long queue
P*ssy pink, red meat, it takes some time to chew
But you gnaw on the beef like rent's past due


 

Come to my bedroom, get a ticket to the zoo
Suckin' out my milk while I let out a moo
Fat free and organic, yeah you already knew
I don't care who sees, I bet they'll love the view


 

[outro]
This c*ck like a rooster, wake you up in the mornin'
Open your eyes, then we get the c*m pourin'
Ain't got no rabies but you keep my mouth foamin'
F*ck 50 times a week, check the CCTV recordin'

 

Cupcakke is SHAKIN :WAP: WHAT A BOWP

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53 minutes ago, Aurora said:

 

  Hide contents


16. @Gavin. - “Stung”
Ooh, another rather unique choice of animal, albeit a clever one. Scorpions definitely lend themselves to lyrical interpretation, I think! The prechorus was really wonderful here. I’d have liked to see longer verses that expanded on the metaphor more, the bridge was a great balance of metaphor and true meaning. Overall I think this was a really solid approach to the challenge. A good debut!

 

Thank you so much! Yeah I will definitely agree about the verses needing to be a biT longer and have more going on.  

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Thank you @Aurora

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@Aurora Thanks for the review! I was definitely going for the little turtle who could and Ariel the Little Mermaid type angles. I’m also trying to do some lighter songs this time around in general. And not gonna lie, I didn’t even consider I could do a metaphorical song for the challenge. I thought it had to be literal, so oops. :rip:

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24 minutes ago, Remmy said:

Ayyy period :sats: The prompt basically invited me to do it like this so I had to! Plus I might as well get a sex bop out of the way since I won't be participating in every round, and it's how I started S1. :gaycat2: I was slightly uninspired + rushing myself so I can understand that every line didn't hit :fan: "I ugly cry-laughed at, “Suckin' out my milk while I let out a moo”." :oh::oh:

 

 

also here's my song if anyone wants to read :hippo:

  Reveal hidden contents

"THE ZOO"


[verse 1/intro]
Freedom in the fields
That's all that I want
Can't stand this captivity
When will someone rescue me?


Free just like a cheetah
Running under the sun
I guess this is the moment
Where I just come undone...


[beat switches up]

[verse 2]
Uncaged, rip my chastity belt off
This little piggy want 5 fingers down my hole
I'm like a bird, b*tch I just left the nest
So many big beasts around me, I'm losing all control


Oh wow, oh my, good God, good grief
Bed end up wetter than the Barrier Reef
And the smell's fishy too, like tuna mixed with glue
I know you want this tasty cod, all inside of you


Oh my, oh wow, good grief, good God
He can be my little s*xy arthropod
Legs are shakin' and my d*ck's all throbbed
And I got a back that's begging to be clawed


[chorus]
Come to my bedroom, get a ticket to the zoo
Don't be alarmed if there's a long queue
P*ssy pink, red meat, it takes some time to chew
But you gnaw on the beef like rent's past due


Come to my bedroom, get a ticket to the zoo
Suckin' out my milk while I let out a moo
Fat free and organic, yeah you already knew
I don't care who sees, I bet they'll love the view


[verse 3]
I'm the freakiest b*tch in my genus
You'll understand once you see this p*nis
Thick and wide, curved at an angle
It bent a little bit after getting strangled


I look over, I can tell the rabbits are jealous
And they wish their gooch could be this hairless
Got a full audience, but we're not embarrassed
Life expectancy's low, so my time is precious


Gonna make so many kids (so we'll never be endangered)
You'll be the perfect dad ('cause you're so good-natured)
This juice that I have (is best when it's savored)
The monkeys gave me a c*ndom... banana flavored!


[chorus]
Come to my bedroom, get a ticket to the zoo
Don't be alarmed if there's a long queue
P*ssy pink, red meat, it takes some time to chew
But you gnaw on the beef like rent's past due


Come to my bedroom, get a ticket to the zoo
Suckin' out my milk while I let out a moo
Fat free and organic, yeah you already knew
I don't care who sees, I bet they'll love the view


[outro]
This c*ck like a rooster, wake you up in the mornin'
Open your eyes, then we get the c*m pourin'
Ain't got no rabies but you keep my mouth foamin'
F*ck 50 times a week, check the CCTV recordin'

 

Screaming 

 

Now lemme go bop in my head all day to:

Come to my bedroom, get a ticket to the zoo
Suckin’ out my milk while I let out a moo 

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Here’s my song if you are interested btw :heart:

 

Spoiler

CRYING BIRDS

 

angels really pass when all its silent

but silence has been making its absence

and the trees’ leaves have been falling emulating a slow dance 

so they are just getting undressed 

but autumn haven’t arrived yet 

it’s the end, they said

 

and the only melody that can be heard here 

the only talk that we have known since you left 

the only sign of life that keep us here alive 

are the birds singing their songs everyday, everytime 

 

but what if the birds aren’t singing? 

what if they are screaming for help?

what if they are crying for a reason?

what if they are feeling pain?

they haven’t flew in a while 

and everything since the day you left this land

it’s been so sad 

 

on the ramifications of the big old trees

the babies haven’t been fed 

brown feathers getting painted by ray of lights so fainted

it’s a second of hope from their souls

they emulate sounds that for us sounds like heaven 

but who knows, maybe it’s hell for them

 

i see one and he see me with their dark hazy eyes 

singing statue, paralyzed, petrified 

i thought he was pretty, i thought he was you

maybe i’m insane just like maybe he is

 

cause what if the birds aren’t singing?

what if they are screaming for help?

what if they are crying for a reason?

what if they are feeling pain?

they haven’t flew in a while 

and everything since the day you left this land 

it’s been so sad 

 

since then their wings have been chained 

they haven’t left their trees for a month

at nights I can say they are praying 

they want to feel alive again

but it seems their religion is lost

i wonder what they are waiting for

maybe for someone 

maybe for him

maybe for you

maybe even me

or maybe for none

cause nobody could make them back at feeling hope 

 

so what if the birds aren’t singing? 

what if they are screaming for help?

what if they are crying for a reason?

what if they are feeling pain?

they haven’t flew in a while 

and everything since the day you left this land 

it’s been so sad 

 

what if they know something we don’t?

what if they try to warn about the cold? 

what if they just announce the end of our love?

their sing will be the last thing we heard on this world

because everything since the day you left this land 

god, it’s been so sad 

 

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I have about half a dozen song left - reviews hopefully coming in the next couple hours 

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2 hours ago, Aurora said:

22. @JoeAg - “Tyto Alba”

I really love owls. This was quite simply immaculate. Definitely my favourite song you’ve submitted for a Golden Hit tournament thus far, it resonated with me so intensely. It satisfied the challenge in a way that felt so effortless and natural and I almost got lost in the beauty and honesty of this song. I don’t really have much more to say other than thank you for writing this and sharing it with us.

thank you so much :heart:🥺 owls are my favorite animals ever and i already have two owl tattoos, and i plan to get a ton all over my body, all in different styles. to me they’ve always represented intelligence and freedom, i kinda took both of those angles with this song, along with bravery! i’m glad you felt the honesty, this one felt very cathartic, even if i haven’t gone through an actual breakup in awhile

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here’s my paean of the barn owls, for those interested in checking it out!

Spoiler

Fly away, my dear

Cascaded as we caressed, wings wrapped so sweetly

But it is time for you to fly, you need my warmth no longer

 

You held me close in all your splendor

I was the first you ever needed near

I take your blessings as offerings

Your simulacrum sparks into my mind at random

So fly away, my love

Cascaded like droplets, like mote adorning the air

But it is time for you to fly, you need my warmth no longer

 

You were my rock for so long

You held me in your talons, told me to never fear

Sung my praises to your friends and family

 

And now as I grow old and weary, waiting to be reborn

You shine like the coral I wanted to kiss

I was drowning until you scooped me

 

And what if I wanted to drown? What if I was ashamed of being alive?

But you were never meant to last, and I was just another venture in your path

I have grown and realized that I am meant to last, however, and I carry your beauty with me wherever I go

 

You were my rock for so long, my dear

Cascaded like droplets, like mote adorning the air

But it is time for you to fly, you need my warmth no longer

 

Oh, and part of me still craves your warmth

The selfish part, that which would never be quashed while you were here

I crave, I grasp, white knuckles and hardened lungs

Peace of mind is so far to reach, but you seemed to be a prodigy

You could take anyone and they would love you as you were

 

Sitting in barns, eyes incredibly piercing

Fierce as a hawk, yet gentler and soft like satin

Beautiful, white and brown and gold

Talons which grasp, the handsomest beak

My barn owl, the one in my heart

 

So fly away now, my love

We cascaded and we caressed, your wings wrapped around me so sweetly

But it is time for you to fly, and I will never forget you

 

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3 hours ago, Julia Fox said:

Cupcakke is SHAKIN :WAP: WHAT A BOWP

2 hours ago, Gavin. said:

Screaming 

 

Now lemme go bop in my head all day to:

Come to my bedroom, get a ticket to the zoo
Suckin’ out my milk while I let out a moo 

milk-and-mocha-bear-couple.gifmilk-and-mocha-bear-couple.gifmilk-and-mocha-bear-couple.gif

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Ribbon-Reviews-S2-Jackson.png

 

Wow, what a strong first round! I haven't judged an ATRL songwriting competition in a few years, and I can say definitively that the writing is much stronger now than it was then. Feel free to let me know if you have any questions on your reviews or feedback on my feedback, or if you'd like me to remove any specific references to lines from your lyrics. 

 

 

 


@Kylie Jenner – Eve
This is an interesting angle – I love a religious themed song, but I’ve never seen Eve’s relationship with the snake presented this way. It’s ambiguous whether she’s in love with the snake or just enamored by his words, but I kinda love that. Specifically, I really enjoyed the second prechorus and the couplet “your tongue has tortured me/how can I sleep when all I do is dream?” – I felt like the imagery of a serpentine tongue really strengthened that line. The second half of the bridge was also excellent, especially the line “But you have no leg to stand on, no bones and no skin”. At times, I felt like certain lines were written just to maintain the rhyme scheme (pearl and gleam come to mind), but overall, this was a really solid first offering and I can’t wait to see where you go next.

 

@Julia Fox – Crying Birds
I loved your concept. The way you took something as mundane as chirping birds and twisted it into something more sinister is really interesting. The image of trees getting undressed in preparation for fall was lovely too. There were a couple little grammatical errors that stood out on first read (“when all its silence”, “sign of life that keep us here”) that won’t affect my score, but I just wanted to make you aware of them. I found it interesting that you hinted at a connection between the crying birds and a lost lover. You could have expanded upon that idea to provide some variety. As is, I did appreciate the ambiguity – it was almost as if your character was trying to forget the person existed, but a different perspective or mood could have helped deepen that feeling.

 

@DatChickDoe – Bite
This was giving me early 2010s Kesha. The lyrics exuded confidence, almost cockiness in a way that tied in well with the animal motif. Choosing a general animal theme instead of a specific animal was a bold choice, and one that didn’t always play in your favor. Referring to a shark bite in one line and swapping paws in another broke the illusion a bit. I’m also not entirely sure what the bridge means – I would love to hear what you were thinking. I think overall, your imagery was strong and effective, and there were some lovely lines, such as “Lips laced with razors/villain masquerades as a savior/nipping at the nectar within”. Your lyrical worldbuilding is quite strong. I think if you kept a little more thematic consistency, it would be even stronger.

 

@Hug – Lilith
I had never heard of Lilith before or her role in the Garden of Eden, so this was actually quite fresh for me. I did a little Wikipedia-ing to learn more. It’s so interesting how something as ubiquitous as the creation story can have different translations and storylines. Thus, I appreciated your own modern spin you put on the story, turning the story into one of feminism instead of good vs evil. You toy with the idea that submission is the true evil, and the way you removed the binary present in the original story was interesting. The snake is often depicted as a purely evil force, and you added some ambiguity to that. Lyrically, your sense of rhythm made the song very easy to read. Even the phrasing of some of the lines seemed biblical (“The trees, there are many, with fruit plenty bear/you should have your choice, this, only fair”). My one nitpick would be that the phrasing of “I tasted that of knowledge” instead of “I tasted of that knowledge” seems a little off, even in this format, but that’s really the only criticism I can think of, and this was one of my favorites this week. Great job!

 

@worldwide angel – Eternal
Don’t we all wish we were a turtle swimming in a waterfall? Perhaps you were really immersed in the perspective of the turtle, but had you not mentioned what animal you chose in your description, I wouldn’t have known you were writing from the perspective of an animal at all. Lyrically, I felt like you really embodied the joyful serenity associated with a leisurely swim. The only word I can use to describe the prechorus is “adorable”. “I do a little dance” 🥺  OMG. The image of “shards of salt/lay against my sturdy shield” was specifically quite strong. Stylistically, you could have just pressed enter instead of using so many slashes, which I found a little distracting. I also didn’t think the word “masochist” fit into the song, which otherwise was quite effectively simple in language. It was also a fairly dark word that weighed down the otherwise light bridge. Overall, this was a pretty solid first offering. Despite the lyrics being fairly simple, you used them to paint an extremely vivid picture and I felt fully immersed in your lyrical waterfall.

 

@Allday – Animal For You
This song has a lot of personality to it. It feels really punk rock/punk pop, which I know you’re a fan of, so I love that I was able to feel a sense of you in the lyrics despite the darker theme. Like a couple other writers this round, you took a general zoological approach to the challenge rather than picking a specific animal, and like the others, it worked a bit to your detriment. There wasn’t anything here that I hadn’t seen before, especially in the genres I highlighted above. While it was an effective way to portray musical style, it did little to make the lyrics stand out. I did enjoy your chorus – the repeated body parts added to the mood of the song and made clichés like “under your skin” take on a new, darker meaning. Had that sense of detail been present in the verses, along with a clearer, more specific animal theme, the entire song could have been elevated to the level of the chorus. I look forward to seeing what you write next week!

 

@Better Mistakes – Don’t Leave My Life
You missed a chance to say “but it’s still RUFF!” – jk, please don’t actually. This song felt very poppy and catchy, but that didn't always translate to lyrical success. I really liked your chosen concept and I did feel the emotion you were trying to convey, but I would have loved to see you go deeper lyrically. There were a couple throwaway lines (“I knew that time was coming with a plaster” – what does this mean?) that could have been replaced with something to strengthen the story. Specifically, I would have loved to see you delve deeper into the pet and owner’s bond before the new romantic relationship, which would have heightened the emotion even more when the new relationship entered the storyline. 

 

@hurricane326 – I Walk Alone
I had never heard of the Jersey Devil, so I had to do a lil research first. I love this variety of song that serves as both a song and a comprehensive story. Your subject matter and songwriting style here reminded me a lot of Citrus, who went on to win a season a few years ago. Even after reading more about the Jersey Devil, I felt like your song was actually a fairly solid backstory on its own. Specifically, I loved the second stanza where you comprehensively portray the creature. I was a bit confused at the line “Oh Lord please protect me/for my lips are now sewn”, but perhaps this is just a bit of the lore that I missed? The next stanza, starting “His eyes shine red with contempt for freedom” was incredibly strong. I feel like this section specifically sold the story. I think it could have helped to have included a bit more background on the main character and why he was searching out this dangerous creature, but I did appreciate that you focused more on the beast itself. 

 

@EpicSongFan – Sweet Escape
I definitely feel the relationship between your chosen instrumental and lyrics. I could see this as a girl group type song, or a song where the bird and wolf perspectives are represented by different voices. I think that would almost be necessary, because I felt like the bird and wolf sections weren’t as distinct as they could be, which sometimes made the lyrics confusing (I initially thought, why does a bird have bloodshot red eyes hunting for a treasure?). I also felt as though the song couldn’t fully commit to being either metaphorical (“roaming the nightclubs, hiding within the crowd”) or literal. Had you chosen committed more fully to one concept instead of going for two, I think the song would have been a bit stronger. Still, I think you get pop lyric writing, and I look forward to seeing what you come up with next week.

 

@beatinglikeadrum – Cock-a-doodle-do
I kinda screamed when I saw your title. I’ll start with my favorite line: “You’re acting like a peacock but you’re lacking the feathers” – I LOVED this. You also really portrayed a sense of cocky sexiness, which worked well with the theme. You didn’t fully commit to one animal, which in some senses worked, but also gave the feel of like a farmhouse orgy and I’m not sure how I feel about that. I think your song could have benefitted a lot from some editing. There were some nonsensical lines, like “Cause I won’t even look at you unless you have 9”, and a few lines that just needed a bit of cleanup. I wouldn’t fully agree with your characterization of your “flopping” – I see real potential in your one-liners and imagery, and I look forward to seeing what you bring next week.

 

@camfuckingrockwell – Bluebird
The shortness of this made it feel more like poetry than lyrics. I think there’s so much overlap between the two that this could work really well as an intro or an interlude on an album. This reminds me a lot of the Miranda Lambert song by the same name. Since this framing of this topic is fairly common, I would have loved to see a different twist on the theme or a deeper dive into the bluebird’s longing to be uncaged. I think the length of the lines and the song overall “caged” you into the metaphor and didn’t allow it to fully “sing” or “fly free”. Some of your lines also felt forced in to fit the rhyme scheme, which is something you can’t afford quite as much when writing a short song. I did enjoy the “sentence” line – if you wrote a song full of lines like that next week, I think you could be quite successful.

 

@TruGemini – Whisked Away
I liked your approach to the challenge. Giving your song double meaning provided a lot more intrigue, and forced me to read through the lyrics a few times. Your lyrical tone also matched the wistful instrumental perfectly. I think the first half of the song committed more fully to the fish theme, and the second half more to the human theme. I do think you struggled a bit with the rhyme scheme in a few places in the song. I loved the internal rhyming in the prechorus, but there were a few lines that seemed forced (“stride”/”eyes”, “decay” in the chorus). Otherwise, I did love the titular lines in the chorus, specifically “you gotta swim back to me, don’t let them whisk us away”. It felt folky and classic and flowed effortlessly. Had the rest of the song flowed like that, it would have been one of the strongest entries this week.

 

@Jack! – Teddy Bear
I’m not sure if this was intentional, but beyond the Frankenstein elements of the song, I felt like the character was building the perfect man out of a string of one-night stands. I think this theme was more effective than the more sinister, literal piecing together of a person’s body parts, although I appreciated the dark, homoerotic Build-A-Bear thing going on. Structurally, your song flowed really well and your rhymes were super catchy. My favorite part of the song was the chorus, which I felt had strong, descriptive imagery but was catchy enough to work as a hook. My only criticism would be that it wasn’t entirely clear whether you were going for a more human or more monster-ish theme. Overall, this was still one of the strongest entries this week and one that keeps me looking forward to what you’ll write in the coming weeks.

 

@Augmented – Night owl
I’d advise against sharing a negative perception of your own song – because for me your grievances didn’t wholly apply. My main criticism would be that the song felt a little unedited – small errors like “peaks” vs “piques” and “pears” vs “peers” might have been caught after a couple reads through. Otherwise, I actually really enjoyed this. I thought the story was fairly clear, and your song reminded me of TruGemini’s in that there were almost two storylines occurring at once – one literal and one metaphorical. I felt fully immersed in the calm, solitary night you depicted in your lyrics, and it felt like an effective backdrop against both the secretive lovers and night owls. I really loved the 4th verse, and I felt like that was where the story really took off. If there was one aspect of the story that was slightly confusing, it’s the shady figure in the car. Is this one of the lovers or a third character in the story? Still, I think you did a good job this week and I know you’ll only do better in the weeks to come.

 

@Gavin. – Stung
The musicality of these lyrics came across pretty clearly. I could see this being either a synthy dance-pop type song or something with a strong electric guitar lead. Because it read so much like a pop song, it’s hard not to compare it to something like a Britney Spears “Toxic” type song. I think this type of song has been done before fairly frequently, which isn’t necessarily a problem, but I’m not sure if you provided a fresh angle to the theme. Your final line felt a little forced when it could have been something more powerful. Still, there were some really nice lines here. I loved “The venom was hidden in something of beauty” and the internal rhyming of “Both primal, a feeling of survival”. 

 

@Legend E – Moving With The Speed of Light
I really like your chosen concept here – simple and straightforward, yet something I haven’t seen in a song before. The play on words with cheetah/cheater also added to the theme. Still, I think there were some lyrical inconsistencies here. At the beginning of the song, the character seems quite proud of their promiscuity (“a prizefighter but my body count is my reward”) yet near the end talks about cheating through pain, before reverting back to the perspective. In your description you hint at these possibly being two sides of the same hookup culture, but I think it could have been more effectively presented as a transition from one to the other, or as a duet with multiple perspectives. Instead, I think individual lines end up being a lot more effective than the song as a whole. I really enjoyed “I’ve always left before the confetti falls down” and “whatever frightens me will remain”. I think if you had stitched these lines together in a way that was clearer from a storytelling perspective, this could have been a near perfect entry.

 

@Achilles. – Hibernate
Before I even read the rest of your song, I need to say that “It must be open season on my happiness” is a 10/10 opening line – I instantly know what you’re writing about and I’m invested before even reaching the second line. This reads as one of the more musical and less poetic entries, and here I think it worked really well. I could see this as a country or folk song. In addition to the opening line, I loved “I’ll just sleep these blues away/it’s time to hibernate”. There was a wistful sense of defeat that felt tangible. While there’s no specific line I would critique, overall, I think you could have been more devoted to either the metaphoric angle or added some additional storytelling elements. For this song, the second probably would have been more effective. Adding personal details or descriptions would have deepened the lyrical emotion and made the song that much more impactful. I also have to note that “honey, I can’t bear to be so anxious” was witty and a great nod to the challenge. This was a super solid first entry!

 

@Euterpe – Small Beginnings
Why did a think olive ridley was like a cocktail or something? Glad I googled that one. I definitely got the Little Mermaid vibes here too – I could almost imagine a chorus of lil fishies coming out to harmonize on that post-chorus. What is it with all the turtle songs this round just being adorable? I appreciate that you took a more literal approach to this round, but it could have strengthened the song to add some deeper meaning beyond literally just talking about baby turtles crawling towards the ocean. Still, I think you personified the turtles quite well, and little details like “a crack in the shell, a broken curse” helped me imagine the setting of the song. “Turtles of my kind” was an interesting choice of words for a song, but it was so cute I didn’t mind at all. If nothing else, you should sell this to Disney – I’d love to see Halle Bailey singing this.

 

@Temporal – Halcyon’s Wings
I instinctively pulled out my thesaurus after seeing your name, and the title only reinforced that reflex. After reading the song, I was surprised to only see only high school level vocabulary rather than AP English, but the simpler language was much easier to draw emotion from, and, knowing you, every word was purposefully chosen – and I think you made the right choices here. There’s quite a few choices of one-liners to highlight, but I really loved “I’m a petrified passenger to my own life” and “Like the moon in the day ignoring the time”. I’m also a huge fan of questions in lyrics to draw introspection, and I think your delivery was effective. My one minor quip would be that your use of halcyon seemed relatively arbitrary. You could have injected additional meaning through referencing memories of an idyllic past in relation to the actual bird, or referenced seasons of happiness interspersed with stormy seas of depression. Regardless, this was a definitive highlight of the round for me, and proof that you’ve only gotten better with time. I think by reining in the contrived language you’ve made it a lot easier to connect with the lyrics, and it feels more purposeful when you do choose to include a more descriptive word.

 

@Remmy – The Zoo
The faces I made in the coffee shop while reading this – I don’t know if I can show my face here again. I know irreverent sex songs are kinda your thing, but most of these lines still felt original. I can probably say definitively that no one’s ever written the line “and the smell’s fishy too, like tuna mixed with glue” before. The first verse had me thinking you were going in a different direction, and following that immediately with “uncaged, rip my chastity belt off” was jarring in the best kind of way. There were a few lines that weren’t totally necessary (was “Oh wow, oh my, good God, good grief” just there to rhyme with “Barrier Reef”?), but those were fairly uncommon. I’d also highlight “***** pink, red meat, it takes some time to chew” as a highlight, as well as “I’m the freakiest beast in my genus”. There were probably 5 or 6 other highlights, but I don’t want to post your entire song here, so hopefully you post it in the thread for everyone else to enjoy. I don’t want to encourage you to do sex songs almost every week again, but this was excellent.

 

@JoeAg – Tyto Alba
I think the Thesaurus King torch has officially been passed on to you from Temporal. There’s definitely nothing wrong with using less common words in songs, and at times they can convey a sense of meaning that’s more precise than using a more general word. The downside is that they can make a song more academic and less emotive. I think that became the case here, where more conversational lines, such as “Oh, and part of me still craves your warmth” felt jarring in the same song as “Your simulacrum sparks into my mind at random”. Otherwise, this was a lovely entry, and probably one of my favorites I’ve read from you. The beginning of the song was incredibly strong and included one of my favorite couplets – “cascaded as we caressed, wings wrapped so sweetly/but it is time for you to fly, you need my warmth no longer”. Like Remmy, but also not at all like Remmy lyrically, there were too many standout lines here to quote. Your song felt poetic yet accessible, wordy yet simple, in a way that made the lyrics feel universal despite the specific owl references. You strung together series of one liners in a way that felt purposeful and created a larger story – something few other people mastered this round. I look forward to seeing where you go from here!

 

@XO_Life – Body Make-Up
“I shed skin not tears” – what a stellar line, a perfect way to start a chorus. Your lyrics felt catchy and poppy, yet still distinctive enough to work in a lyric writing competition. The verses were short, and while I think your first verse was effective, the second verse wasn’t as impactful. The clown and apple imagery felt unnecessary in the context of the song. Otherwise, I think you made the most of fairly short lyrics. This was extremely evident in the bridge, where, despite the repetition, you delivered one of the best lines of the song: “nowadays evidence is dependent on sympathy”. I read your description after reading through the lyrics once, and while they made the lyrics more impactful and shed additional light on the theme, I think the song still stood strongly on its own. Overall, I think this was a strong first entry, and had the second verse been tightened up a bit, would have been an absolute standout this round.

 

 

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Thanks @Jackson! I was a lot more purposeful with my imagery and word choice than in the past, I'm glad you picked up on that :heart:

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Thank you @Jackson, you can see English is not my first language lol and I appreciate your comments because I really felt that I was lacking some deep development on the lyrics when I was writing it but at the same time I really found the ambiguity the best option because otherwise it would have been a longer song with so many details and turns at the point of make the main idea of the song get lost with all the backgrounds

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Thank you both for the positive reviews, they’re more generous than I probably deserved for a first draft thrown together in a few hours after floundering for a week without inspiration. :laugh: 

 

Yeah, there is some subtle climate disaster messaging to the second verse, Aurora. I’m glad you both liked the “I can’t bear” bits, and thanks for highlighting the opening line, Jackson—it felt special as soon as I came up with it. 

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Thanks miss @Jackson!


Im glad you got the nightclub/deep bass/poppy vibes! I’ll have to work on being a bit more precise with what I’m trying to tell in a song cause it wasn’t about a toxic person in a way that they are bad for you, but a person who (knowingly or unknowingly) gave me the HIV lol. It’s been yearsssss so not upset or anything anymore but thought it was a nice way to start off the competition with a toxic animal reference that went a biT deeper 

 

That means a lot you liked those lines cause I wasn’t too sure but was running out of time so just sent it in :laugh:  So trust my gut I suppose and let the words flow

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I appreciate the feedback, Aurora and Jackson <3 Happy the language feeling Biblical was noticed, as that was generally what I was attempting 😌

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Will be posting the second challenge in the next few hours, and my remaining reviews will come late tonight. 
 

Results for round one will take place tomorrow, I’ll announce an exact time during the day once everything is finalised but I’d tentatively say it will probably be somewhere between or around 7-10PM eastern. 
:fan:

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