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Golden Hit: Season 2 📀 R5: Reviews posted, results 7 EST 💤 R6: Mix N Match (pg. 50)


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23 minutes ago, hurricane326 said:

I've read about these hellhounds
In fanciful post-Renaissance fears
But when I traveled to Anglia I found the shuck has a presence here
The countryfolk stay in at night out of caution for their fates
But I'm determined to see for myself the beast that awaits

Oh i like this! I can hear the melody in my head, with the second to last line going up the octave and then the last line returning to a low note


Maybe a billieish type of voice.

 

1 hour ago, fountain said:

This is cute, you could definitely turn this into something if you choose to return to it! 

Awe thank you! I'll keep it and maybe do something with it eventually.  I feel like I'm decent at writing some basic but cute choruses and then verses are where I struggle.  Have to take y'alls feedback to get better tho!

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  • fountain

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  • Hug

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  • Legend E

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  • Aurora

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Ew I just got attacked by a big spider. I’m not even usually scared of spiders but now it’s disappeared somewhere in my room because I didn’t have anything to get it with straight away, so who knows where it is. Unsettling :mazen: but I suppose this is very fitting for the Zoology challenge 

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Update I got the spider :heart: now I can review and prepare things for Round 2 in peace x

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16 hours ago, fountain said:

The songs of Round 1, Zoology:

 

Kylie Jenner - Eve

Julia Fox - Crying Birds

DatChickDoe - Bite

Hug - Lilith

worldwide angel - Eternal

Allday - Animal For You

Better Mistakes - Don't Leave My Life

hurricane326 - I Walk Alone

EpicSongFan - Sweet Escape

XO_Life - Body Make-Up

beatinglikeadrum - Cock-a-doodle-do

camfuckingrockwell - Bluebird

TruGemini - Whisked Away

Jack! - Teddy Bear

Augmented - Night owl

Gavin. - Stung

Legend E - Moving With The Speed of Light

Achilles. - Hibernate

Euterpe - Small Beginnings

Temporal - Halcyon's Wings

Remmy - THE ZOO

JoeAg - Tyto Alba

 

:heart:

 

Going to post my first 7 reviews in a little bit, this will be from Kylie Jenner to hurricane326 (since Allday’s doc is still private). The rest will be posted tomorrow :smiley:

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!!! excited

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Round 1: The Zoology Challenge

 

@Kylie Jenner - Eve

Congrats on being the first submission of season two!

Immediately, my initial thought when looking at your submission was that your concept was a really creative way of meeting the challenge of writing inspired by an animal, while incorporating biblical themes through  the story of Eve; this is very well thought out conceptually and a really strong start on that front. Lyrically I think your song is quite strong too, the song overall is very cohesive and puts its message and story across well, and there is no part that wavers or falls flat in that regard. I would say that when it comes to some specific lines though, I think the writing could’ve been pushed further. There are some instances throughout the song where the lyric itself can lack uniqueness a bit - general ideas such as dealing with the demons, loving the pain, it making you insane, these are pretty beaten to death in music and I think perhaps you could have pushed the creativity in these parts a little more so that lyrically the creativeness was as strong as the concept behind the song itself; ultimately some of these specific lines felt almost as if they were kind of like the first thing that came to your mind and you just went with it, and I think the easy rhymes that are in these parts of the songs also heightened the feeling. On the contrary, to praise a part that I thought was the strongest lyrically, I really enjoyed the bridge, specifically the two final lines of the song which I think were the most resonant. Ultimately I would say that in the future I would work more to make sure that each lyric in your song is unique as well as being purposeful to the overall song, and that will strengthen your writing as a whole to the same high that I think you have shown your concepts to be on first impression, and hopefully those concepts continue to be interesting like this one! Overall though for a first entry this is a very solid, good job.

 

@Julia Fox - Crying Birds

I think this song demonstrates what began at the end of season one, which is amazing growth in your writing, and it’s amazing to see this continue. I think that conceptually this is one of your most interesting songs to date, and probably the best executed in terms of matching the overall themes about questioning behind the song, with your writing, which is a great pairing here. What I like is that you’ve really painted this picture here and the song itself is very vivid, I too want to know what is going on with the birds and how they are, and it almost gave a dystopian novel type feeling to the song, that something sinister is brewing and the protagonist in the song can do nothing but be witness to it and notice these things and what is happening to the world. In terms of the challenge this is obviously a great success too since the birds are such an integral part of the story and the lyrics, the song truly takes inspiration from them so you’ve done a wonderful job tackling the challenge. Overall I found this to be a really intriguing and enjoyable entry, in general I do typically love questioning themes and writing that is open to interpretation, but I do truly think that you excelled in this style regardless and that this is one of the best songs I’ve seen from you; great job!

 

@DatChickDoe - Bite

I really enjoyed the overall vibe of this song, it gives me dark club feels, I can picture it as like a Tove Lo song or something like that, so it’s well written in the sense that I can really visualise this song and hear it too, to a degree. I also enjoyed the back and forth between the two people in the song, the predator and the prey if you will, and that at the end of the song the prey steps up to bite; this gives the song a great energy throughout it and means it never feels stagnant or lacking storywise. I will say, in terms of the challenge itself, I don’t think this is the best execution of it. While there are some animalistic phrases and behaviour within the song, there is only two specific mentions of animals, which is the widow in the bridge and the shark in the first verse, and I think the premise of the challenge was more so to write a song that encompasses a specific animal rather than animalistic behaviour in general; however I can’t fault you too much on this because it seems mostly to be more of a misunderstanding of the challenge rather than a lacking interpretation of it, I think. There are some lyrics that I found particularly strong, I really enjoyed the second verse (the Shakespeare part of the song) and the chorus as a whole is also very solid and has some very nice writing to it, these moments your word choice and writing really shined and I look forward to the future and seeing your develop this more and see what you can create, because I think you have it in you to peak right at the top with some more experience and work. Overall a good start to the season. 

 

@Hug - Lilith

Okay, so this is the second snake from the Garden of Eden song, but I still think it’s a really creative and interesting take on the challenge, so I’m not going to let that skew my impression of your song.

*insert me reading the song here*

Well, I have to say, I think this is genius. You’ve so excellently retold the biblical story in a interesting way here and from a fresh perspective, with which the song is filled to the brim with nuance and layers that I think is just, as I said, genius. Not only have you tackled the challenge and also brought in the story of Adam and Eve and the snake/Lilith in a really fresh and interesting way, but on top of all this you’ve also added in really powerful themes of what it means to be a women; themes which are still timely to this day, and when you contrast that literally to the story of humanity’s creation, it’s really impressive. Now, one could still attempt all of this but ultimately fail due to the writing not pulling this all off; but of course, that isn’t the case with you, your writing is as strong as ever and your lyrics remain tight and smooth throughout the song. I could certainly be forgetting specifics about season one, but I’m definitely inclined to agree with what you posted in the thread - this is probably the best song you’ve submitted in Golden Hit thus far. Seriously fantastic.

 

@worldwide angel - Eternal

Wow, reading this song was literally so refreshing and blissful, I was so happy and excited while reading it. Being able to achieve that with your writing is such an incredible sign of something special and with this being the first song I’ve ever read from you, I’m immediately really impressed and intrigued in what you could write in the future for the next challenges. Even though the song has a sombre ending, my impression of it is still beaming and so joyous because your writing itself to me completely embodied that feeling and has such an overall dreamlike, starry presence to it that even though it went there, it still feels beautiful, if that makes sense? The song itself conceptually too is such a unique idea - a turtle swimming in a waterfall - like who thinks of that? Your mind! This is an instance where I kind of struggle to know what to say because I enjoyed the experience of reading the song so much that it’s hard to not gush solely about that. But, do you mind if that’s what this review mostly consists of? Because that’s how I felt and the reaction I had reading your song. I loved it, and I cannot wait to see what you write next. 

 

@Better Mistakes - Don’t Leave My Life

So I read the description of your song first and I was wondering wtf I was about to get myself into, but actually it was a nice pleasant surprise to see how sweet the song actually was. There are some really lovely lyrics here and the overall sentiment of the song, and the theme of wondering about being abandoned or forgotten by somebody important to you, is really well put across. I feel though that the song is perhaps a little short, the two verses are only 4 lines each, the bridge is mostly repetition, and unfortunately this means that there is less area for your writing to be shown off; I think these sections could have used with being expanded, which could have given you more room to impress lyrically, and also more potential to develop the narrative and the story of the song further. I have to say, I don’t get any animal inspiration from this. Like, none at all. If you hadn’t have said that this was intended to be read from the perspective of a pet, then I absolutely never would have guessed that it was supposed to be. Still, even with that context, the song doesn’t resemble the focus of the challenge, in my opinion. That said, the challenge can be put aside and if we look at the song itself, I think this is a very sweet and sentimental song, and I believe it is one of the songs I have enjoyed reading from you the most; so in that regard this is a good job. 

 

@hurricane326 - I Walk Alone

I had never heard of the Jersey Devil before so took to googling it quickly, really interesting to hear about!

I’m glad that somebody chose to go down the route of a folklore creature for this challenge, and I think this concept was perfect for you and paired with your writing style magnificently. I love that you have taken the inspiration of a creature from folklore that is often feared, or used to scare, and instead portrayed the creature here in your song as sympathetic and deserving of empathy, it really shows your nuance both in your concepts and with your writing, since you absolutely pulled it off. The multiple uses of the key phrase ‘alone’ and the way that the idea of being alone was adapted throughout the song and took on different meanings was also marvellous, and made for a really great and fulfilling reading experience. As usual, your writing and the lyrics themselves are very strong throughout the entirety of the song, helping lift up and not only tell your story but also force the reader to visualise it in their mind, the sign of a great storyteller. Overall, I think you’ve done a fantastic and unique job here, another very impressive song from you!

 

EpicSongFan - Sweet Escape

The story that you told here and the animals that you chose to present it through worked really well in my opinion, I was intrigued to see how you would portray both animals as your inspiration in the song, and I think ultimately you succeeded in doing so and the choice to be inspired by both really paid off I think, because they directly play off each other back and forth in the song. For example, reading the first verse and pre chorus you get introduced to the wolves and the menacing vibe of the song, but then in the chorus this is broken up by the bird inspiration and imagery, and going from the one to the other really helped emphasise these feelings further I believe; which of course is something that continues through the song, going back to the menacing feeling in the second verse and pre chorus again, and then the freedom once more in the second chorus. To me it makes the chorus all the more euphoric, and I think i’d definitely say it’s my favourite part of the song - I specifically love the lines “I’ll seek freedom and the hope that it brings / I’ll soar freely across the sky with these wings” which is just really lovely. Overall I very much enjoyed your entry, I think this is a strong starting point to the season and I’m interested to see where you go next!

Side note: of course the cover art is a serve, as usual, too!

 

XO_Life - Body Make-Up

I like that you subverted the typical understanding of a snake and instead showed the protagonist of the song in more of an empathetic and victimised role, it’s very easy to go down the obvious route and depict your chosen animal as what they are typically interpreted as but I like that you put a more nuanced spin on the inspiration of a snake. I think choosing to be inspired by such a case for the story of the song was a bold choice, and works well here with the snake concept that you have paired it with, but in the future I would probably be more interested in hearing things that come from a more personal or down to Earth place, since such a notorious source of inspiration can be somewhat distracting. Overall an interesting first submission but I think you can go further in the future. 

 

Beatinglikeadrum - Cock-a-doodle-do

I don’t think you flopped as hard as you said you did. I actually quite enjoyed the first verse, and really was into the tongue in cheek, confident and humorous lyrics that you had there. I think it went a bit downhill from there, the chorus is pretty much filler, and the bridge (minus the Lana part, lol) and second verse don’t really hit like the first one did. But focusing on the positive aspect, I genuinely did enjoy that first verse, and this could just be a case of not connecting with the challenge, since I know you voiced struggling with it. You definitely showed some promise with that first verse though, so I look forward to seeing what you create in the future and hope that the next challenges are ones that you can enjoy more!

 

Camfuckingrockwell - Bluebird

What I think is put across in your song the best is it’s emotion and personal feeling, these are things that are highly relatable for most people and it’s evident when reading your song that it has this vulnerability and softness behind it, which is really brave to explore in writing, both personally, but moreso in sharing it with others, so I definitely commend you in this. I think the others have touched on this but one thing I would echo is that I do think the song could have been expanded on, while the emotion that you’ve included in the song is pretty deep, I know that there is still much deeper that it could have went, and further that the story could have gone. I really don’t mind the simplicity of your lyrics, I actually think it worked well in this instance and fits with what you were going for, but still the narrative of the song could have been explored more.

 

TruGemini - Whisked Away

The concept that you went for here, with the song purposefully being applicable to both a human situation and an animal one, is a really interesting and unique choice, and I think you pulled it off since reading it through in both contexts it works. In terms of your writing I think it is incredibly smooth and rhythmic as usual, which is somebody I always completely enjoy about your entries and know I can always count on when I see your name appear! I definitely see this song as a continuation of your growth from toward the end of the first season, focusing on emotional aspects in your song, while keeping the narrative interesting and engaging, and this is great to see. Overall I think this is a strong start to the season for you and shows a new, soft side to your writing, which leaves me wondering what we may see from you in the future.

 

Jack! - Teddy Bear

Honestly the idea of combining hook up culture, Frankenstein, and build-a-bear is pretty genius. I mean, I absolutely would never have thought to combine these elements into a song, or how they would work, but they do, and you pulled it off very well! It’s interesting because there are elements of the song which are quite sweet, but then also parts which feel somewhat sinister, and I guess just like the concept behind it, it creates this interesting amalgamation that was really intriguing to read, and certainly very creative. If I had any criticism, I would say that I think the concept and the narrative do the heavy lifting with the song, I don’t think the lyrics themselves specifically standout or are inspiring for the most part, since more than anything they just put across that narrative itself, but with a more conceptual song like this it can typically happen, so I don’t think it says anything about your capability. Overall this was a really creative first entry, which makes me very intrigued to see what you may go for in the future next!

 

Augmented - Night owl

Despite saying that you struggled with this challenge, I think you’ve written a genuinely lovely song here that you should be proud of. It’s definitely relatable for me on a personal level, being a night owl too, and I think you perfectly captured the essence of why people are night owls, and how freeing and relaxing it can be for us (many times I find that it can be questioned a lot why people would be night owls, and can be a really misunderstood thing; well, if they all got to read this song, I think they might begin to understand it more). You had me sold from the beginning, but what really kept me intrigued was how the narrative shifted towards the end of the song and a new story was introduced to it. I think it can be very difficult to pull something like this off, but you absolutely achieved it, because I didn’t feel a disconnect at all, or any whiplash when the change occurred. It was really beautiful, actually, how the song and the understanding of why this person is a night owl started as one thing, and by the end was something totally different with the new added layers in the latter part of the song. Your skill as a writer continues to be clear, even when you say you struggled with the round. Very well done.

 

Allday - Animal For You

There were a couple of other entries like this, but I think you may have misunderstood the challenge somewhat, since instead of writing a song about a specific animal you’ve written a song about animalistic nature in general, which isn’t really what the idea of the challenge was, but since this is only the first round this can be forgiven. The vibe I get from this song is kind of nostalgic in a weird way, that I can imagine it being a single in the early 2010’s for some label’s attempt at having their own Lady Gaga, and they attempt to launch a career with an edgy song like this; I don’t know if that’s what you were really going for, but I can kind of see it in that context, like I can imagine somebody like Porcelain Black or Natalia Kills singing this, or perhaps something from a slightly earlier time, like the MySpace era of music. Lyrically, I like that edge and darker tone that you’ve went for in this song, I don’t think it’s used in the most unique way here (feeling like being in a cage, craving somebody, are generally quite typical themes) so I think that this is something that you can work on in the future to make your songs stand out a bit more as unique, but in terms of the style of your writing I enjoy it in this song and it would be interesting to see where you can take it in the future and how much further you can push this dark vibe. Overall I think this is a good entry for the first round, but I am more interested in seeing something bigger and more distinctive from you in the future.

 

Gavin. - Stung

I think this song is very brave to have written, having experienced something quite similar I can say it definitely takes some guts to write about this and be open about what happened to you, even though the song is very metaphorical the story is there and I think you’ve done a really strong job of firstly meeting the requirements of the challenge, but secondly writing something really interesting where at first glance you might not notice how deep the song actually is. It’s nuanced, and I like that it’s done in this way because you could’ve tackled a topic like this in a very straightforward and simple way, which would have been fine, but your execution here and the concept that you have went for, paired with this story, makes for a very unique and in my opinion impressive entry. The whole thing works together very well in my opinion, there’s no weak part of the song and no specific part that stands out as the strongest either, it’s just very level and tells the story that it needs to, and I appreciate this. Overall I think this is a very strong entry for the first round, I’m impressed that you’ve already delivered such a personal song and really admire that you went for this, I think it definitely paid off and is one of the most memorable of the round for me.

 

Legend E - Moving With The Speed of Light

I think it’s clear looking at your explanation of the song, and the lyrics themselves, that a lot of thought went into this song and the concept behind it, and I definitely think it paid off. The cheetah metaphors used here to represent somebody who goes from hookup to hookup are brilliant, it’s a really great example of a metaphor that is clever but also works well in the realm of lyrics since you can relate this to a lot of other things like speed, and cheetah/cheating, which gives multiple layers and balance to your song. Lyrically I think the song is strong too, I have to specifically praise the line “I win every speed dating night” which I think is absolutely killer - it’s so layered with humour and self deprecation, but also meaning and depth to it, which I thought really was a stand out lyric not just in the song but the whole round for me. Overall I think this is a great entry, you’ve excelled at the challenge and written something that explores a really interesting theme with the right amount of depth to it, nice job.

 

Achilles. - Hibernate

Honestly I laughed at “Bears hibernate.”, indeed they do.

I think your song is pretty relatable, and you’ve explored the emotion here really well; sometimes there truly is nothing I could want more than to just disappear, to not exist for a while, and to relate this to hibernation and bears is a really strong move. Conceptually, this is a great one. Lyrically, I think you brought in a good mix here too. Something I want to point at first and talk about are the bear puns(? would they be called puns? idk) in both of the verses, using bear, barely, and burden, which I think is a really smart way of bringing in the animal itself through the pronunciation of “bear”, without actually ever having to refer to the animal itself anywhere in the song; there’s no way that this wasn’t intentional and I haven’t read any of your other reviews but I just have to point this out in case nobody else has because it was really good. I like the multiple layers throughout the song, while it’s heavy on the emotion and the central theme of wanting to run away, I like that you brought in other ideas in a very subtle way such as deforestation/wildfires, skinning of bears, and hunting; I suppose overall I would call this song very subtle in general, with some real well thought out depth to it when you look into it. Overall I think this is definitely a strong entry, you did a fantastic job with the challenge but also wrote a really emotionally resonant song on top of that, great job.

 

Euterpe - Small Beginnings 

Omg love the fact that covid restrictions meant more turtles survived hatching thanks to beaches not being populated… thanks humanity!

I think this is a really lovely, beautiful song about the delicacies of nature and the intricacy of life. Exploring the beginning stages of life, and the marvel of the world, through the eyes of a hatched turtle is just fantastic, it is both cute but also incredibly sentimental, and the song creates a really nice balance between being sweet but also having depth behind it which is great; it never steps too far into being childlike or Disneyfied, but always comes back to make you appreciate what is being said and the emotion behind it. Lyrically I think the song matches perfectly with the concept, everything that I have praised your concept for I can do the same for the lyrics, the two match succinctly and I think you’ve perfectly executed the vision of the song you were going for here. Overall a fantastic first entry!

 

Temporal - Halcyon’s Wings

Um not this revelation that Halcyon is also the name of a type of bird? Literally had no idea.

Really clever to go for a double entendre here with Halcyon both being the bird but also the state of peace, really nice concept and I think you executed it very well. It’s unique but also purposeful and full of meaning, and you tied the two together through the song perfectly too, in that the bird inspires this moment. We love a joyous song, and the chorus here is fantastic at embodying this emotion and really well written. I think this is a great exploration of that moment when the world suddenly comes to light again, and it’s really vivid and beautiful picturing it in association with the flight of a bird. Overall I think this is a strong entry, you mentioned it had been years since you last wrote a song but you definitely jumped right back into it successfully, great job!

 

Remmy - THE ZOO

When it comes to oneliners, or comedic writing in general, I think we are yet to see anybody else excel at it as you do. This is another great example of how funny yet still impressive your writing is in these types of songs, always making the reader question every other line “literally how did he think of this?”. We’ve talked before about how it can become overdone but in this case it is so fitting for the challenge and the references throughout the song are just so absurd and genius that I wouldn’t have wanted you to attempt anything else this round tbh! It’s quite the experience to read too, starting off as it does and then becoming “uncaged” and turning into the NSFW gem that you are known and loved for; I can’t help but wonder, was this first verse/intro an attempt originally at a more subdued song, or was it written intentionally as a red herring? Now, without further ado my standout, most ****** up lines: “Thick and wide, curved at an angle / it bent a little bit after getting strangled”, “I can tell the rabbits are jealous / and they wish their gooch could be this hairless”, “Life expectancy’s low, so my time is precious / Gotta make so many kids (so we’ll never be endangered)”, “The monkeys gave me a condom… banana flavoured”. As you can see, there are quite a few - this is a disgusting, fabulous mess. Great job.

 

JoeAg - Tyto Alba

This is incredibly beautiful and really poetic. The concept of depicting a lover as an owl, something wise and piercing and full of splendour, and portraying a break up with this person as them flying away, is really fantastic. What I love most in the song is your descriptions in your lyrics, they are truly wonderful. I think the general idea of someone or something flying away can be quite typical, but with your poetic language and set up you’ve created something that feels mature and full of depth. Specifically my favourite line has to be “Peace of mind is so far to reach, but you seemed to be a prodigy / you could take anyone and they would love you as you were”, which is just so poetic and stunning. Your song overall is very impressive, I loved seeing your writing throughout the first season and felt at times it might have been somewhat overlooked and deserved better, and I truly hope that it receives this, this season; and imagine it will, given how great this first entry is. 

 

 

Edited by fountain
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if you notice any typos, no you don't

 

also yes i guess i'm paula again :duck:

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not a spider :mazen: glad you got it <33

praying there's no babies or relatives around
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19 minutes ago, Remmy said:

not a spider :mazen: glad you got it <33

 

  Hide contents

praying there's no babies or relatives around

I was like what??? But then I realised spiders have babies and relatives themselves

 

Ngl, I was concerned that the spider I got was not the original one that disappeared, but let’s assume, for my sake, that it was the same sexy anthropod !

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19 minutes ago, fountain said:

I was like what??? But then I realised spiders have babies and relatives themselves

 

Ngl, I was concerned that the spider I got was not the original one that disappeared, but let’s assume, for my sake, that it was the same sexy anthropod !

:fan:

 

Period!!! :fan:

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omg acclaim 😭

1 hour ago, fountain said:

Not only have you tackled the challenge and also brought in the story of Adam and Eve and the snake/Lilith in a really fresh and interesting way, but on top of all this you’ve also added in really powerful themes of what it means to be a women; themes which are still timely to this day, and when you contrast that literally to the story of humanity’s creation, it’s really impressive

I'm particularly glad this was pointed this out because the biggest reason I wanted to write this was because of how Lilith is probably one the earliest and one of most relevant examples of a feminist, but she's painted to be this demon/villain which is really ****** up 😭 it just lent itself really well to ideas I already had about how women are viewed in Christianity. I am glad you see the vision <3

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4 hours ago, fountain said:

Ribbon-Reviews-S2-fountain.png

 

Round 1: The Zoology Challenge, Part 1

 

@Kylie Jenner - Eve

Congrats on being the first submission of season two!

Immediately, my initial thought when looking at your submission was that your concept was a really creative way of meeting the challenge of writing inspired by an animal, while incorporating biblical themes through  the story of Eve; this is very well thought out conceptually and a really strong start on that front. Lyrically I think your song is quite strong too, the song overall is very cohesive and puts its message and story across well, and there is no part that wavers or falls flat in that regard. I would say that when it comes to some specific lines though, I think the writing could’ve been pushed further. There are some instances throughout the song where the lyric itself can lack uniqueness a bit - general ideas such as dealing with the demons, loving the pain, it making you insane, these are pretty beaten to death in music and I think perhaps you could have pushed the creativity in these parts a little more so that lyrically the creativeness was as strong as the concept behind the song itself; ultimately some of these specific lines felt almost as if they were kind of like the first thing that came to your mind and you just went with it, and I think the easy rhymes that are in these parts of the songs also heightened the feeling. On the contrary, to praise a part that I thought was the strongest lyrically, I really enjoyed the bridge, specifically the two final lines of the song which I think were the most resonant. Ultimately I would say that in the future I would work more to make sure that each lyric in your song is unique as well as being purposeful to the overall song, and that will strengthen your writing as a whole to the same high that I think you have shown your concepts to be on first impression, and hopefully those concepts continue to be interesting like this one! Overall though for a first entry this is a very solid, good job.

 

@Julia Fox - Crying Birds

I think this song demonstrates what began at the end of season one, which is amazing growth in your writing, and it’s amazing to see this continue. I think that conceptually this is one of your most interesting songs to date, and probably the best executed in terms of matching the overall themes about questioning behind the song, with your writing, which is a great pairing here. What I like is that you’ve really painted this picture here and the song itself is very vivid, I too want to know what is going on with the birds and how they are, and it almost gave a dystopian novel type feeling to the song, that something sinister is brewing and the protagonist in the song can do nothing but be witness to it and notice these things and what is happening to the world. In terms of the challenge this is obviously a great success too since the birds are such an integral part of the story and the lyrics, the song truly takes inspiration from them so you’ve done a wonderful job tackling the challenge. Overall I found this to be a really intriguing and enjoyable entry, in general I do typically love questioning themes and writing that is open to interpretation, but I do truly think that you excelled in this style regardless and that this is one of the best songs I’ve seen from you; great job!

 

@DatChickDoe - Bite

I really enjoyed the overall vibe of this song, it gives me dark club feels, I can picture it as like a Tove Lo song or something like that, so it’s well written in the sense that I can really visualise this song and hear it too, to a degree. I also enjoyed the back and forth between the two people in the song, the predator and the prey if you will, and that at the end of the song the prey steps up to bite; this gives the song a great energy throughout it and means it never feels stagnant or lacking storywise. I will say, in terms of the challenge itself, I don’t think this is the best execution of it. While there are some animalistic phrases and behaviour within the song, there is only two specific mentions of animals, which is the widow in the bridge and the shark in the first verse, and I think the premise of the challenge was more so to write a song that encompasses a specific animal rather than animalistic behaviour in general; however I can’t fault you too much on this because it seems mostly to be more of a misunderstanding of the challenge rather than a lacking interpretation of it, I think. There are some lyrics that I found particularly strong, I really enjoyed the second verse (the Shakespeare part of the song) and the chorus as a whole is also very solid and has some very nice writing to it, these moments your word choice and writing really shined and I look forward to the future and seeing your develop this more and see what you can create, because I think you have it in you to peak right at the top with some more experience and work. Overall a good start to the season. 

 

@Hug - Lilith

Okay, so this is the second snake from the Garden of Eden song, but I still think it’s a really creative and interesting take on the challenge, so I’m not going to let that skew my impression of your song.

*insert me reading the song here*

Well, I have to say, I think this is genius. You’ve so excellently retold the biblical story in a interesting way here and from a fresh perspective, with which the song is filled to the brim with nuance and layers that I think is just, as I said, genius. Not only have you tackled the challenge and also brought in the story of Adam and Eve and the snake/Lilith in a really fresh and interesting way, but on top of all this you’ve also added in really powerful themes of what it means to be a women; themes which are still timely to this day, and when you contrast that literally to the story of humanity’s creation, it’s really impressive. Now, one could still attempt all of this but ultimately fail due to the writing not pulling this all off; but of course, that isn’t the case with you, your writing is as strong as ever and your lyrics remain tight and smooth throughout the song. I could certainly be forgetting specifics about season one, but I’m definitely inclined to agree with what you posted in the thread - this is probably the best song you’ve submitted in Golden Hit thus far. Seriously fantastic.

 

@worldwide angel - Eternal

Wow, reading this song was literally so refreshing and blissful, I was so happy and excited while reading it. Being able to achieve that with your writing is such an incredible sign of something special and with this being the first song I’ve ever read from you, I’m immediately really impressed and intrigued in what you could write in the future for the next challenges. Even though the song has a sombre ending, my impression of it is still beaming and so joyous because your writing itself to me completely embodied that feeling and has such an overall dreamlike, starry presence to it that even though it went there, it still feels beautiful, if that makes sense? The song itself conceptually too is such a unique idea - a turtle swimming in a waterfall - like who thinks of that? Your mind! This is an instance where I kind of struggle to know what to say because I enjoyed the experience of reading the song so much that it’s hard to not gush solely about that. But, do you mind if that’s what this review mostly consists of? Because that’s how I felt and the reaction I had reading your song. I loved it, and I cannot wait to see what you write next. 

 

@Better Mistakes - Don’t Leave My Life

So I read the description of your song first and I was wondering wtf I was about to get myself into, but actually it was a nice pleasant surprise to see how sweet the song actually was. There are some really lovely lyrics here and the overall sentiment of the song, and the theme of wondering about being abandoned or forgotten by somebody important to you, is really well put across. I feel though that the song is perhaps a little short, the two verses are only 4 lines each, the bridge is mostly repetition, and unfortunately this means that there is less area for your writing to be shown off; I think these sections could have used with being expanded, which could have given you more room to impress lyrically, and also more potential to develop the narrative and the story of the song further. I have to say, I don’t get any animal inspiration from this. Like, none at all. If you hadn’t have said that this was intended to be read from the perspective of a pet, then I absolutely never would have guessed that it was supposed to be. Still, even with that context, the song doesn’t resemble the focus of the challenge, in my opinion. That said, the challenge can be put aside and if we look at the song itself, I think this is a very sweet and sentimental song, and I believe it is one of the songs I have enjoyed reading from you the most; so in that regard this is a good job. 

 

@hurricane326 - I Walk Alone

I had never heard of the Jersey Devil before so took to googling it quickly, really interesting to hear about!

I’m glad that somebody chose to go down the route of a folklore creature for this challenge, and I think this concept was perfect for you and paired with your writing style magnificently. I love that you have taken the inspiration of a creature from folklore that is often feared, or used to scare, and instead portrayed the creature here in your song as sympathetic and deserving of empathy, it really shows your nuance both in your concepts and with your writing, since you absolutely pulled it off. The multiple uses of the key phrase ‘alone’ and the way that the idea of being alone was adapted throughout the song and took on different meanings was also marvellous, and made for a really great and fulfilling reading experience. As usual, your writing and the lyrics themselves are very strong throughout the entirety of the song, helping lift up and not only tell your story but also force the reader to visualise it in their mind, the sign of a great storyteller. Overall, I think you’ve done a fantastic and unique job here, another very impressive song from you!

Thank you so much for the feedback. I apologize for the misunderstanding. Definitely will keep working on the improvement of the quality of lyrics. 

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24 minutes ago, DatChickDoe said:

Thank you so much for the feedback. I apologize for the misunderstanding. Definitely will keep working on the improvement of the quality of lyrics. 

Your song still stands on its own despite the challenge and there was a lot to praise it for too; nothing to apologise for :heart:

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@Jack! your google doc is unable to be opened, you need to change the settings so that we are able to view it :bird:

 

same issue with yours still @Allday

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1 minute ago, Jack! said:

Oops, sorry that should be it sorted now! @fountain

Yep it’s fixed, thank you! 

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11 hours ago, fountain said:

Ew I just got attacked by a big spider. I’m not even usually scared of spiders but now it’s disappeared somewhere in my room because I didn’t have anything to get it with straight away, so who knows where it is. Unsettling :mazen: but I suppose this is very fitting for the Zoology challenge 

I squished a spider in my bathroom last night and it had like bright purple guts :biblio:. Literally nothing worse than spiders idk how @Aurora survives Australia

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11 minutes ago, Jackson said:

I squished a spider in my bathroom last night and it had like bright purple guts :biblio:. Literally nothing worse than spiders idk how @Aurora survives Australia

Google "giant huntsman spider nest" for some cuteness animal overload :)

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omg speaking of insects, i should have written a song about the ones i have to deal with quite daily! a song about silverfish yas! (actually it would've been fitting with the rest of the song since they're very fast svdfv;)

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39 minutes ago, Jackson said:

I squished a spider in my bathroom last night and it had like bright purple guts :biblio:. Literally nothing worse than spiders idk how @Aurora survives Australia

This one was very brown :heart: and looking at it you could see each individual hair on its legs :heart: love that

 

Personally though I find reptiles more atrocious than insects… like, snakes? Lizards and ****? Absolutely revolting. And frankly, amphibians can **** off too. 

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30 minutes ago, Legend E said:

omg speaking of insects, i should have written a song about the ones i have to deal with quite daily! a song about silverfish yas! (actually it would've been fitting with the rest of the song since they're very fast svdfv;)

Honestly silverfish would’ve been a serve :jonnycat:

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13 minutes ago, fountain said:

Honestly silverfish would’ve been a serve :jonnycat:

The Nick Cannons of insects wheww :jonnycat:

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Thank you for your critiques @fountain :heart: glad you liked my song 

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Ribbon-Reviews-S2-Aurora.png

 

Hey, Hitmakers! Thank you all for supporting and submitting for Round 1 of Golden Hit: Season 2! It was a pleasure reading all of your songs again. :heart2:

Due to time constraints on my end, my reviews for R1 are going to be on the shorter side. Fortunately, I should be able to delve in a little deeper for R2!

If there is anything in your review that you do not wish to have public (lyric excerpts, references to your material etc.) I will remove it upon request.

 

 

1. @Kylie Jenner - “Eve”
I enjoyed this a lot. Your animal of choice was clever, and complemented the well known tale of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden very naturally. The lyrics and images that referred to the snake, such as spitting words like venom, “cold blooded love”, and the latter part of the bridge were definitely highlights. Thank you for a strong start to Golden Hit: Season 2!

2. @Julia Fox - “Crying Birds”
This was a hauntingly beautiful sentiment. It’s very true that the common folk’s understanding of avian communication is rather rudimentary, and what we may interpret as happy, carefree singing could be something else entirely. I also interpreted this piece as sort of a pessimist’s worldview; everything has been so sad since that special someone left, that even happy birds are interpreted as a negative. Thought-provoking!

3. @DatChickDoe - “Bite”
I definitely wasn’t expecting this animal inspiration, but I’m pleasantly surprised. You could have gone down the water imagery angle, and while you did a little in the second verse, I like how you’ve committed to a dance club setting. The image of someone circling the dance floor like a shark circling its prey definitely worked! I’m glad you had fun, because I had fun reading it, and it was nice to see something like this from you this season.

4. @Hug - “Lilith”
I certainly didn’t anticipate many overlapping animals this round, let alone the specific snake from the garden of Eden. Curious! This was an interesting offering from you, and I enjoyed the risk of some of the more archaic syntax. It was a definitely stylistic choice that I believe aided this piece. We love an equality anthem, and as far as they go, this was definitely a strong one.

5. @worldwide angel - “Eternal”
Welcome to the tournament! This was a nice first offering from you, I didn’t pick up on your animal inspiration at first but upon a re-read, lyrics such as the first journey and “sturdy shield” made a lot more sense. You have a strong sense of rhythm and, I imagine, melody. Lyrically, I think there was definitely more room for opportunity to expand on some of those comparisons between daydreaming in the shower and a turtle in a waterfall, and creating some interesting, deep metaphors while retaining all of that lovely imagery. Well done!

6. @Allday - “Animal For You”
Thank you for unlocking your document! This was definitely an interesting read. Curious decision to opt for animal as a singular untamed, ravenous entity, but I think it works for this kind of song. Some of the more disturbing images such as those explored in the chorus were bold risks, although I’m not completely sure if they were to my taste. I did like the metaphorical comparison between woman and beast, and look forward to your next offering. Consider proofreading next time to avoid any little errors i.e. “shrap”.

7. @Better Mistakes - “Don't Leave My Life”
I didn’t pick up on the animal inspiration until I read your other information section, which in reality just means your song could be interpreted in a number of different ways. I think for this specific challenge, it would have been strengthened by a handful of lyrics that made it clear it was from a pet’s perspective amongst the more ambiguous and all-applicable lyricism. The bridge could have been that perfect “a-ha” moment where any misconceptions that the song is from the point of view of a person rather than an animal are cleared up.

8. @hurricane326 - “I Walk Alone”
This was fantastic! Being an uncultured Australian, I hadn’t actually heard of the Jersey Devil, so that was certainly an eye-opening read. After a quick education from the University of Wikipedia, I can say you’ve done a wonderful effort to integrate so many details into this piece, yet when reading it unaware of these details, it still translates as an epic, almost Nordic folk type song. Your unique style and poetic aptitude served you well here, and this was a strong debut for you this season.

9. @EpicSongFan - “Sweet Escape”
Birds and wolves are definitely solid choices for inspiration, especially in a contrasting manner such as this. The second verse is great, combining the nightclub setting with the animal inspiration in a wonderfully metaphorical manner. At times, I felt as if there were too many contrasting images or ideas that didn’t seem to fit these core themes (nightclub, birds/wolves) such as the crown of thorns, and seeking treasure. Honing in on your main ideas and making everything work together would have elevated this even more.

10. @XO_Life - “Body Make-Up”
I’d like to preface this review by saying I don’t know a lot about this situation, and don’t wish or intend to cause any offence. The connection to your animal inspiration was very, very loose, and that’s being generous. The “snake” in question is referring to the definition of a treacherous or deceitful person rather than the animal itself. That aside, this had an opportunity to be a statement piece, but I don’t think it packed enough of an emotional punch, for want of a better term. You definitely have potential and I look forward to your next song!


11. @beatinglikeadrum - “Cock-a-doodle-do”

Oh wow, trying to upstage Remmy’s iconic “Flowerbloom”, are we?! This was really something. I honestly really liked your verses, you integrated the bird references very well, and there were some genuinely funny lines. “You're acting like a peacock but you're lacking the feathers,” was great, and I legitimately screamed at, “I'll only think about you while reading a horoscope for the chinese zodiac signs.” I get the chorus, but I would have liked to see something more lyrically engaging, and I know you’re capable of that! The “Cola” reference tho, on point.

 

12. @camfuckingrockwell - “Bluebird”

This was a little on the shorter side. To me, this reads like a fantastic starting point for a song! You have two verses, a chorus, and maybe a bridge or outro section. Your animal of choice was a good fit for the style of song you have gone for. With some expansion and rearrangement, this definitely has potential.

 

13. @TruGemini - “Whisked Away”
I honestly don’t know if this is chaos or genius. Chaotic genius, perhaps? Writing a song that can be interpreted from the perspective of a humble fish or an arrested human was certainly not what I expected going into reading this entry, yet somehow you made it work. Part of me still thinks it’s a bit of a reach, but hey, it’s your art! Thank you for the creative concept.

14. @Jack! - “Teddy Bear”
Similarly to TruGemini’s review, I don’t know if this is chaos or genius? Objectively speaking this was quite a fun read, even if I didn’t really “click” what the song was about until maybe halfway through since I’m definitely not so inclined. I’m here to judge entries however, not people, and this was a well-constructed, well-written, and highly inventive song. The animal inspiration was loose, but I can see the trail of thought clearly. Nice work!

15. @Augmented - “Night owl”
Lack of inspiration, who? Or should I say hoot? :eli: I love owls! This was such a wonderfully constructed song from the way it seemed as if it was setting up to depict the owl and boy as unlikely friends/allies in the dead of night, to the revelation of the true meaning of the song. Being a night owl myself, as well as one who has snuck out after dark to experience similar rendezvous, I felt very connected to this piece. Just wonderful!

16. @Gavin. - “Stung”
Ooh, another rather unique choice of animal, albeit a clever one. Scorpions definitely lend themselves to lyrical interpretation, I think! The prechorus was really wonderful here. I’d have liked to see longer verses that expanded on the metaphor more, the bridge was a great balance of metaphor and true meaning. Overall I think this was a really solid approach to the challenge. A good debut!

17. @Legend E - “Moving With The Speed of Light”
I’m enjoying seeing all of these different animal inspirations and their clever lyrical interpretations. The cheetah/cheater angle was done well, reinforced by the fast life aspect also. While I can’t relate a lot to this piece, I consider it to be a well formulated and cleverly written work. The floor stained red by ignored feelings was a powerful image. An exciting start to this season for you!

18. @Achilles. - “Hibernate”
I knew you were worried about nothing! This was another strong offering from you. The usage of “bear” in the non-animal sense throughout the verses was clever, and didn’t feel thrown in haphazardly. The chorus was simple, sweet, and effective. We’ve all wanted that before. I’m not sure if you were making a political statement in the second verse, but it definitely could be interpreted as a reference to deforestation and global warming alike, which is fantastic. A stellar outing from you this season.

19. @Euterpe - “Small Beginnings”
This was very nice, perhaps almost too nice? Baby sea turtles have one of the most notoriously difficult journeys from sand to sea upon hatching, as even outlined in the video you linked. It almost feels remiss not to represent this? That said, this was a well-written piece from a more literal interpretation of the challenge and, for the lucky few who do make it, it is a nice ode to them.

20. @Temporal - “Halcyon’s Wings”
Welcome back to the fold! I haven’t had the pleasure of reading any of your material in a long while, and I have to say it has been worth the wait. Your inspiration was beautiful, and the selection of the Halcyon birds complemented the word’s adjective meaning in a clever manner. The uncaged bird imagery in the second verse was another great moment for these two intersecting concepts. The closing couplet in the chorus really was just lovely. Thank you for submitting!

21. @Remmy - “THE ZOO”

Oh wow, I definitely did not expect this angle from you!! /s In all seriousness, I think the break between seasons was kind to you, this was definitely your strongest sex bop since “Flowerbloom”. Like the aforementioned, it satisfied the challenge in an interesting way without compromising on quality, standout lyrics. Admittedly, not everything is sensational, but the Barrier Reef section sent me, and—I won’t lie—I ugly cry-laughed at, “Suckin' out my milk while I let out a moo”.

 

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22. @JoeAg - “Tyto Alba”

I really love owls. This was quite simply immaculate. Definitely my favourite song you’ve submitted for a Golden Hit tournament thus far, it resonated with me so intensely. It satisfied the challenge in a way that felt so effortless and natural and I almost got lost in the beauty and honesty of this song. I don’t really have much more to say other than thank you for writing this and sharing it with us.

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