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Golden Hit: Season 2 📀 R5: fountain's ‘early riser’ reviews (pg. 49) 💤 R6: 25/09!


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1 hour ago, fountain said:

 

 

 

 

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i’m more confident this morning actually

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On 9/23/2022 at 1:57 PM, JoeAg said:

submitted, and it’s total bs cause i wrote it in like 10 minutes lol

legit same! quickest song ive ever written

 

6uedjj.gif

 

 

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1 hour ago, Allday said:

legit same! quickest song ive ever written

 

6uedjj.gif

 

 

our joint serve queen

 

(also I love how you just have all of these allday gifs on hand and he looks cute in all of them ugh)

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26 minutes ago, JoeAg said:

our joint serve queen

 

(also I love how you just have all of these allday gifs on hand and he looks cute in all of them ugh)

hehe naw ty, yeah felt like it gives more personality in a post! he is always doing something kinda adorable so made them into cute gifs ezgif-4-a169aa5f34.gif

 

 

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Round 5: The Dreamscape Challenge, Part 1

 

@camfuckingrockwell - Paradise

I’m really glad that you have submitted again, welcome back! I think this song is a really nice interpretation of the challenge, and something probably very universally relatable for most people, we all have moments like this before sleep when we ponder and get lost in our thoughts, and I think your song described a moment like that well. I like the overall questioning lyrics to the song, a lot like sleep and dreams (and paradise itself) not much is known and it presents some nice thoughtful questions; obviously mainly is paradise real, and will I ever get to experience something like that? I like that you left the song open ended and able to be interpreted, it feels realistic and relatable that we don’t know ultimately what will happen to us and that is quite poignant in a way. However if I was to provide some constructive advice for this song, I think it could have used expanding a little more. I like what you have and think it’s a great starting point, but I think the ideas could be pushed a little farther; particularly the song could use a little more context/background to it, we understand that the narrator feels this way and we get to see it explored throughout the song, however we are never told why this person feels this was, there’s no reasoning for the emotion, and I think some background into that could have helped elevate the song and the story a little more. Ultimately though I think you did a good job, and like I said at the start I’m very glad you chose to submit again! I hope we get to see you again next round for the final challenge!

 

@Kylie Jenner - Ephemeral

I think you’ve done a good job of taking the criticism given in the past and applying it here. This writing is definitely elevated compared to some of your earlier songs, it’s a lot more vivid and stylistic, and I think it’s definitely a step up. I like your concept overall of somebody being obsessed with dreams, it’s quite an interesting one and not one that I particularly expected so I find it quite refreshing. The idea of somebody being so entranced by dreams that they begin to reject the real world and confuse the two is really interesting and I enjoyed how your song explored that. It’s almost mystic or whimsical in a way, and maybe this sense could’ve been highlighted or played with a bit more in the song. Overall though I think this is a definite improvement here, and personally probably my favourite song that you have submitted all season. Good job!

 

@hurricane326 - A Conversation With Nik

This is very conceptual and I’m not sure how it might work for everybody, but personally I really appreciated it. Despite being so conceptual, it’s also very personal, which makes for a very interesting piece overall. It’s quite the reading experience, and I think as you expected based on your posts, I don’t think we’ve seen any other submission like this really. It’s a very interesting take on the challenge, you’ve explained where your inspiration came from with the dream aspect however I don’t think that’s as fully clear in the song itself so if I had any constructive advice I would say that part could’ve been played up more, but it’s a very valid and unique take on the challenge. Interestingly it also would’ve been very fitting for last rounds challenge too since so much of the song was spoken, personally I liked this however I can’t say that everybody will be as open minded as I am since others usually expect more lyrical writing, but I enjoyed it. Overall it’s hard to put into words the effect of your song, it’s thoughtful and poignant but also dark and scary; my biggest praise though would be that it is incredibly unique and certainly showcases writing as a deep art form and not just as a thing for fun. It has a very clear message even if the story is partly ugly, and I’m impressed both at the willingness to write this and the willingness to share it. I think you’ve done a great job. 

 

@XO_Life - Dreamscape

This is a really nice interpretation of the challenge. Rather than literally being about dreams I appreciate that you took it in the direction instead that we need to try and better our world and to make it more like dreams where there are no worries, no pain and no hate. The song overall has a great message and I think you explored this well. I would say some of the specific lyrics could take another look at to make sure they are as well thought out as they could be (the lines rhyming news/Jews was a biT of a choice; it’s much too direct and on the nose, though I appreciate the sentiment). If I’m totally honest, I don’t think it’s as strong as your last entry; that one overall felt a little more poignant, but I think this song is still good itself but could maybe be pushed a little more in terms of the lyricism. This song seems to have more of a focus on being catchy and pop which I appreciate, but I think a song with a message like this might have come across easier if it were more in the vein of your last entry rather than as a pop song, perhaps, so that it could have been explored a little more freely. Overall though I think this is another good entry from you. 

 

@Hug - The You I Remember

This is an incredibly touching song, and the combination of both the story of you and your mother, and the dream that you had about her and how it made you remember her afterwards, is beautiful. It’s just really, really beautiful. You’ve written some very impressive and creative songs throughout this season, but there’s just always something special about the more personal songs. Of course not every entry can be like this, but the moments when we do get to read songs like this, they are greatly important and moving. This was simply stunning, and it’s my favourite song from you so far. Perfect job. Well done.

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Here’s my first few reviews so I don’t keep you waiting until I have them all completed! Will post the next 5 when I have them done too.

 :celestial3:

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Hi all, just wanted to give you a quick update from me personally since I know as a contestant I appreciated host/judge transparency!

 

If you've been keeping up with my incoherent and sparse ramblings, you might know I was out of the state this past week for work. Since returning, I haven't really had a spare moment to myself and regrettably have not had a chance to review your songs as of yet. While I still plan to, and will 100% be scoring your submissions for this round, I'm not certain if I will be posting reviews prior to results. I want to give your songs the amount of attention they deserve, so I will use my best judgement whether I post some R1-esque length reviews for your songs in the next 24 hours, or hold off until next week. I appreciate your understanding. Until then, look forward to your reviews from the other fantastic judges!

 

It's also fantastic to see an increase in submissions following the previous two rounds! Welcome @Element, I've added you into the OP as an official "hitmaker" for this season. Glad you were inspired by this challenge! I've also finally had a chance to update the Golden Links post with reviews and results from Round 4's Spoken Word challenge. 8th's R4 reviews and the R4 Hit Tokens will most likely be coming alongside their R5 counterparts, so keep an eye out for those!

 

Finally, we have something special planned for Season 2's finale... you didn't think we'd organise something basic, did you? As such, we might need a smidge extra prep time, so keep an eye out for the Round 6 finale challenge being posted tomorrow evening, Sep 25. This one should really mix things up!

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Got a little bit of a schedule update for everybody as we head towards the final!

 

Round 6, the final challenge, will be posted tomorrow (Sunday) and the results for Round 5 will be taking place the day after (Monday). Pretty much we are pushing each back by one day, just so that things aren’t in a rush for us as we come up on the final. The final challenge will have a longer submission period so you all have extra time to work on your final songs for Season 2! We’ll be giving you a week to work on these songs, so the deadline will be on October 2nd. We expect the actual finale to take place a few days later on October 6th, if there’s any changes or updates to this before then I’ll of course make a post to let everybody know!

 

We’ll be working on those Round 5 reviews now, and then it’s time for the final! Hope you’re looking forward to it. :chick2:

 

@hurricane326 @Hug @Legend E @worldwide angel @JoeAg @Achilles. @Euterpe @Augmented @Julia Fox @beatinglikeadrum @XO_Life @Remmy @Temporal @Gavin. @TruGemini @Kylie Jenner @Allday @Better Mistakes @Jack! @DatChickDoe @EpicSongFan @camfuckingrockwell @Element

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6 minutes ago, fountain said:

Got a little bit of a schedule update for everybody as we head towards the final!

 

Round 6, the final challenge, will be posted tomorrow (Sunday) and the results for Round 5 will be taking place the day after (Monday). Pretty much we are pushing each back by one day, just so that things aren’t in a rush for us as we come up on the final. The final challenge will have a longer submission period so you all have extra time to work on your final songs for Season 2! We’ll be giving you a week to work on these songs, so the deadline will be on October 2nd. We expect the actual finale to take place a few days later on October 6th, if there’s any changes or updates to this before then I’ll of course make a post to let everybody know!

 

We’ll be working on those Round 5 reviews now, and then it’s time for the final! Hope you’re looking forward to it. :chick2:

 

@hurricane326 @Hug @Legend E @worldwide angel @JoeAg @Achilles. @Euterpe @Augmented @Julia Fox @beatinglikeadrum @XO_Life @Remmy @Temporal @Gavin. @TruGemini @Kylie Jenner @Allday @Better Mistakes @Jack! @DatChickDoe @EpicSongFan @camfuckingrockwell @Element

We stan a flexible hosting schedule. Skinny reviews cancelled! Thique reviews outsold. :celestial4:
 

(Where were these Fall emojis two rounds ago during the Deciduous challenge…)

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Cool x cant wait for the final challenge and the review of my song called ‘blurry

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Blurry lyrics 

by the muse Julia Fox

 

Spoiler

clouds were falling from me 

pink and orange daydreams 

after lucid nights and humid feels 

clear crystal sky fantasy 

flying with the heavenly black birds

sleeping and waking with a created enemy 

 

control me with your fingers on my dry lips 

show me for once life is real 

and so it’s you and me

 

had blurry visions from a past that isn’t past yet 

you know that I can’t hide what I feel to show what I don’t 

watching through the static 

oceans of a nightmare

wake me up when all of this ends 

because I know it’s not real

And I had enough living in the fantasy 

I've built to live without you in it 

 

scary ghosts with a box full of keys 

they can open all of my obscure hidden fears 

made them the villains from this story

and so is me and so you are in perspective

ruining what could be days of glory

arrived running to say sorry 

 

paralyze me with your tiny brown eyes

show me for once love is real

and so it’s you and me

 

had blurry visions from a past that isn’t past yet 

you know that I can’t hide what I feel to show what I don’t 

watching through the static 

oceans of a nightmare

wake me up when this ends 

because I know it’s not real

And I had enough living in the fantasy 

I've built to live without you in it 

 

verbalizing for centuries 

a life that I won’t live

writing and rewriting

and failing at concluding

if I can’t change my mind 

how the **** could I change yours?

 

had blurry visions from a past that isn’t past yet 

you know that I can’t hide what I feel to show what I don’t 

watching through the static 

oceans of a nightmare

wake me up when this ends 

because I know it’s not real

And I had enough living in the fantasy 

I've built to live without you in it 

 

 

 

 

Edited by Julia Fox
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25 minutes ago, Aurora said:

We stan a flexible hosting schedule. Skinny reviews cancelled! Thique reviews outsold. :celestial4:
 

(Where were these Fall emojis two rounds ago during the Deciduous challenge…)

Right? :celestial3:and :fall: would’ve been so perfect 

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I mean, we know already who won.

 

Also are we doing Grammy awardsfor GH ?

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21 minutes ago, beatinglikeadrum said:

I mean, we know already who won.

Who? 

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27 minutes ago, hurricane326 said:

Who? 

Congratulations Element on automatically winning GH2 with just NIGHT VISIONS II: TETRIS HYPNOTIC scoring straight 100s :clap3:

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Just now, Hug said:

Congratulations Element on automatically winning GH2 with just NIGHT VISIONS II: TETRIS HYPNOTIC scoring straight 100s :clap3:

@Element Oh wow. :duca:

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46 minutes ago, Hug said:

Congratulations Element on automatically winning GH2 with just NIGHT VISIONS II: TETRIS HYPNOTIC scoring straight 100s :clap3:

:jonny:

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2 hours ago, beatinglikeadrum said:

Also are we doing Grammy awardsfor GH ?

Tbh we haven’t discussed that at all, at least yet. We didn’t for the first season, because we thought it might end up just being a repeat of the rankings throughout the season and would probably overlap with songs that earned Golden Hit Tokens already, but it’s possible we could do it. It’ll definitely be brought up and considered!

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ROUND 5 REVIEWS (round 4 will be incoming as well!)

 

 

 

 


Camfuckingrockwell - Paradise

 

“Life has been so cruel/trying to devour my pureness” I really like this line, and I think it helps strengthen the concept established in your initial verse, in how a lot of people interpret dreaming and sleep as being a moment where we can escape stress and our problems. That was a really interesting start to the song! I did find that there’s not much meat to the song as a whole however: Paradise here seems to be a metaphor for “a world not like the one I escape when I sleep”, but we don’t get specifics of what we’re running from or what this paradise would be like, other than the birds or rainbow, which are familiar symbols of peace. I think for the final round, you’d be able to craft something more compelling by setting the concept like you did in the first verse here, and then giving us either greater specifics or stronger images to describe the world the song is set in.

 

Kylie Jenner - Ephemeral

 

This was very well written! You were able to pull a lot of interesting images and compelling phrases out, so I applaud your crafting. Personally, I liked “does the candlelight flicker of your heartbeat lull you into heaven?” and the image of a glowing crown, so it was smart to put the latter into the chorus. I think a lot of people can identify with wanting to be asleep and in dreams rather than encountering harsh reality. I thought the outro was a nice, metaphorical take on awakening, and stating that waking up is like a nightmare starting is a familiar, but fun twist. All in all, the more I think about it, the more I find to like, here!

 

Hurricane326 - A Conversation with Nik

 

First off, I want to say that I’m very appreciative that you were comfortable to share this with us, and I’m very glad that whatever troubles you were going through in the past have been resolved and that you came out as a victor and a stronger person. This was really high concept, and I’m seeing how the ‘you’ in the song needs to talk about this with Nikolas in order to close this chapter and appreciate that they have improved and won’t go down his path. This is another ”the more I sit with it, the more I like it” song, with a caveat. I think narratively it’s very sound, but could’ve benefited a lot more from being about “you” than trying to insert semi-biographical details about Nik, such as speculation on the outcome of the trial. In fact, I think it actually could’ve worked without Nik’s dialogue at all! The piece does give me dramatic poetry/stage delivery rather than a song due to the exchanges, and some of the advice (Especially the agony portion), does feel surface. Really ambitious, but I think it could be reworked into something sharper.

 

XO_Life - Dreamscape

 

Okay it definitely gave Purposeful Pop Katy and Marina but that’s a huge risk as I personally find their songs in that vein are an extremely mixed bag filled with mostly negatives. And I do want to be honest and say I believe this song had bad luck as it kept pulling out the negative elements consistently. You got the upbeat, ultimately positive vibes of those songs and the structure down pat, but the same criticisms their songs got originally apply here: Vagueness, generic images, and heavy handedness are pervasive. I thought the second verse (And especially the news/Jews line) was probably the biggest example of this. The lyricism didn’t hit the mark for me this time, the message is positive, but the way it’s communicated is sort of clumsy/generic. It definitely works as a pop song, and you’ve shown through all the rounds that you can write a pop song, but for the finale, I think you can showcase a pop song that rises above anything that’s on Top 40 radio. I challenge you to ask “how can I say, ‘there’s no more hate/wars’, without saying ‘hate’ or ‘war’?”. It might help to come up with a story that has that message, and then tell it in song form, rather than trying to turn a slogan like “end poverty” into a full length Verse-Prechorus-Chorus song. I’m looking forward to what you do for round 6, thank you for your consistency so far!

 

Hug - The You I Remember

 

I thought this was really sweet! I liked the concept you mentioned of how dreams are even stronger than memories and you can end up just seeing someone as how they were in the past, rather than now. I think you picked a difficult and personal topic, but wrote the song in a sensitive way so that you could give a feeling of fondness rather than sadness, which is a hard balancing act, but I think you managed. It’s also a testament to your strengths in that I don’t think anyone will walk away from reading this feeling bummed, but rather will have a strong appreciation for what your mom was like at her best. Thanks for sharing!

 

TruGemini - Same Old Discussions

 

I think this may be my favorite song from you so far! I think your concept of this mirroring the nonlinear nature of dreams actually works, despite my apprehension after reading the additional info first. I get a very strong sense of vibe, and even what the song genre would be, just from reading the lyrics. Definitely one of the songs I was looking forward to rereading after my first look. My advice for your final song in the next challenge sort of ties in to your formatting choices: Rather than trying to imply the rhythm through using excess commas and punctuation, write the lyrics without them, and figure out specific phrases and intentional word choice that force the reader to read your lyrics exactly as you intend the melody/rhythm to go. That would give your songs an extra dimension, rather than messing with the formatting.

 

Allday - Night Terrors

 

I thought writing about night terrors was an interesting idea! My mom has them often and it’s always a real shock to hear her screaming randomly in the night, so I’m sorry that it seems you have them too! For the song, I think it shares a weakness a lot of your other entries have had in being too plain and just describing actions and scenes in literal ways. I get the feeling you wanted to describe a sense of terror, but everything’s so dryly stated, and as a result nothing sticks with me after reading. I appreciate your consistency in submitting each round, however! For the finale, I’d love to see you blow us away with a song that’s richer in metaphor, rather than being so grounded in literal speech.

 

Julia Fox - Blurry

 

So this song definitely has a very esoteric style, and I still have different parts that jump out to me on each subsequent reread. I think the atmosphere matches that of dreams, where a lot really are inscrutable, and aren’t meant to make perfect sense. “A past that isn’t past yet”, to me, implies the narrator understanding they’ll regret not letting a romantic interest know how they feel if they don’t act now? And by the end of the song, they’re tired of trying to formulate the perfect way to phrase this while protecting their feelings, and resolve to just come out with it. I liked that your song is open to interpretation on what story is being told, and that it made me think a bit to find a meaning.

 

Beatinglikeadrum - C13H16N2O2

 

“They joined the forces to create a hole /in this reality's dense metallic core” Definitely my favorite line in the song, I love how you expressed escapism and the themes of the song in a metaphorical way. Overall I like the central concept, and the clever choice and use of the title. The way you tried to mesh technology with the unknown in an artistic way for the opening verse was also a nice choice, one that carries on through the rest of the song. Overall, I enjoyed this piece, and I think you accomplished your goal of showing the science of dreams in a way that still lets dreams retain their mystical quality.

 

Augmented - The Fall

 

I thought this was really well structured, very tight in both its rhyme scheme and its meter. This helped a lot in making the grander presentation still have some sort of tether to remain grounded and approachable. I also like that you took the challenge in a slightly different direction, where a lot of people opted to highlight dreams as escapism for reality, you did the opposite in an exploration of nightmares. All in all, ths did a fine job of establishing a specific mood that maintains throughout the entire piece. I’m interested to see in the final round whether we get a refinement of this style or something completely different!

 

Legend E - Floating by (-¿zzz?-)

 

I actually kind of like the open ending that serves to loop the song back round to the beginning. It drives home your intention of showing the repeating cycle of exhaustion that the narrator’s insomnia causes. I also like how you touch on in the prechorus that the narrator’s room is a mess, it does a nice job of drawing a parallel between that and their mental state, and how mental complications begin affecting their physical situation. Nice job of establishing setting, and my personal highlight. The one weakness I’d draw attention to is that perhaps the song is on too tight of a cycle, where there’s not a major development or deviation along the path from the beginning of the night to the start of the next one. I think more of the social/mental implications that insomnia carries like is touched on in the outro would’ve given the piece a bit more texture.

 

Euterpe - Did you hear that?

 

Now while I haven’t heard of this specific phenomena, it does remind me of that mid-sleep experience where like you fall or are shot and suddenly jolt up, so I could kind of connect to it that way! Looking through that lens, I thought this was a super unique and interesting topic that I haven’t seen before. I love that you used short lines and shorter actions to give a sense of paranoia and urgency. The first and last stanzas make a nice contrast, setting up and winding down the song, respectively. This has a different feel to your other songs, and I’m appreciating the versatility. Overall, I thought this was very neat, and I enjoyed reading it! 

 

JoeAg - Felt You Watching Over Me

 

I quite liked the opening verses, they paint the scene of waking up from a bad dream really well. The hot sheets, sweat, the exact details of the dream slowly fading, etc. But overall, while trying to consider your additional info, I didn’t get a feel of this being about a nightmare, specifically? I was trying to interpret it, and between the titular line and the line about your future children, I was thinking this was about a grandmother looking over someone in a guardian angel sort of way? Though the last line of the song is the first truly aggressive one, and is the only one that makes me think that this ‘you’ the song is addressed to is more like a malevolent force. I’ve let it sit with me for a couple of days, but I still can’t quite decipher how the additional info and the song are to be reconciled. Still nicely written, but I haven’t quite cracked your style yet.

 

Element - NIGHT VISIONS II: TETRIS HYPNOTIC

 

Okay, so I’m very glad you decided to submit even for one round! Doubly glad because I really and honestly enjoyed this immensely. It’s completely unlike every other song I’ve read in Golden Hit so far, it’s creative, and best of all, it’s catchy. I was so excited to read this again after my initial first-reads, and it definitely held up. Great take on the challenge!

 

Worldwide angel - Twilight

 

I’ve got a tough decision to make on scoring because this was definitely your best submission so far. I thought this was an evolution and refinement of your Round 1 song Eternal. Both here and there, you did a great job of communicating a sense of wonder and exploration. Here, the word choice is just perfect, and you use enough words to paint the scene, but not so much that the piece feels heavy or bloated. The entire bridge is perfectly balanced in my opinion, and the central line “such a glorious and calm twilight” is the perfect button on each chorus. Really well done! Honestly, I wouldn’t have you change up anything, bring this, but even better for the finale!
 

 

Edited by 8thPrince
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Cautiously awaiting Jackson's reviews to see if this was indeed my flop era

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13 minutes ago, 8thPrince said:

how the ‘you’ in the song needs to talk about this with Nikolas in order to close this chapter

For reference, this is not true. I had the dream as a result of the chapter not being closed at all. I'm still afraid people will view me as a horrible person, and I have much much worse dreams than that one. 

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Thanks for the review and the tips, 8th! :heart: 

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