tournament Golden Hit: Season 2 📀 Congratulations Hug! 🏆

[JoeAg]

On 8/24/2022 at 6:28 PM, fountain said:

Ahh so glad you posted your music again, I love your voice  also just realised they are on Apple Music, I will definitely be streaming when the new EP drops!

 

Btw that video of you playing the cello(?), omg

thank you so much omg I didn't see this ? yeah that's my bass! I need to use it more in the songs i write lol historically i mostly just use it for classical music, but my song Legroom uses it prominently!

[JoeAg]

okay submitted! i didn't realize I was writing kind of a breakup song til I was 3/4 of the way done lol

[fountain]

55 minutes ago, JoeAg said:

thank you so much omg I didn't see this ? yeah that's my bass! I need to use it more in the songs i write lol historically i mostly just use it for classical music, but my song Legroom uses it prominently!

It’s so beautiful, I absolutely love it, you definitely should use it more

[fountain]

5 hours ago, camfuckingrockwell said:

1. Tell us a little about yourself (preferred name, pronouns, etc.)

My Name is Cameron but you can call me Cam for short, I recently turned 22, My pronouns are He/Him. Im a Virgo. I love listening to music!

 

2. What is your previous experience with songwriting?

I love writing. It’s been my passion since I was child, I didn’t start songwriting until I got to high-school around my junior year. I love storytelling.

 

3. Who are your favourite artists, songwriters, and/or both?

Some of my favorite songwriters are Alicia Keys, Mariah Carey, Björk, Avril Lavigne, Alanis Morrisette, Kacey Musgraves, Norah Jones, Lady Gaga, Beyoncé, Lana Del Rey, Joni Mitchell, Diane Warren,& Babyface.

4. What are your favourite lyrics, and the best written songs in your opinion?

Some of my favorite written songs.

When I Saw You — Mariah Carey

Stonemilker — Björk

Caged Bird — Alicia Keys

Blue — Joni Mitchell

Beautiful Stranger — Madonna

Always Remember Us This Way — Lady Gaga

My Love, Sweet Love — Patti Labelle

The Living Proof — Mary J. Blige

Naked — Avril Lavigne 

 

5. What are some of your main sources of creative inspiration?

I love to listen to music of some of the best lyricist in the industry.

6. Lastly, feel free to share some examples of your writing

Balladry/R&B-Soul elements.

Love that your taste seems to consist of multiple genres and styles

[Aurora]

Miss 503 has been in full force today.

 

Looking forward to reading all of your submissions! By now of course everyone will know that the deadline for Round 1 has elapsed, however if you're still finishing up an entry or would like to make any alterations, we'll accept those final submissions until the reviews start coming in.  Mine will most likely be posted at least 24 hours from now, either in one or two batches depending on if I have enough time to read all of your lovely works in one sitting.

 

Best of luck and let those creative muscles rest up in preparation for Round 2, coming on Saturday!

[fountain]

The songs of Round 1, Zoology:

 

Kylie Jenner - Eve

Julia Fox - Crying Birds

DatChickDoe - Bite

Hug - Lilith

worldwide angel - Eternal

Allday - Animal For You

Better Mistakes - Don't Leave My Life

hurricane326 - I Walk Alone

EpicSongFan - Sweet Escape

XO_Life - Body Make-Up

beatinglikeadrum - Cock-a-doodle-do

camfuckingrockwell - Bluebird

TruGemini - Whisked Away

Jack! - Teddy Bear

Augmented - Night owl

Gavin. - Stung

Legend E - Moving With The Speed of Light

Achilles. - Hibernate

Euterpe - Small Beginnings

Temporal - Halcyon's Wings

Remmy - THE ZOO

JoeAg - Tyto Alba

 

 

Edited August 26, 2022 by fountain

[Temporal]

Better late than never!

 

1. Tell us a little about yourself (preferred name, pronouns, etc.)

Hunter (He/Him), from Texas but live in New York. 

 

2. What is your previous experience with songwriting?

I did Platinum Hit 7, 8, and an all too brief stint in 11!

 

3. Who are your favourite artists, songwriters, and/or both?

Kacey Musgraves, Ellie Goulding, Carly Rae, Florence Welch, Sara Bareilles, Taylor Swift, St. Vincent, and Mariah all come to mind...  women!

 

4. What are your favourite lyrics, and the best written songs in your opinion?

Off the top of my head: Slow Burn by Kacey, Bright Lights and Cityscapes by Sara Bareilles, Blinding by Florence + the Machine, No Drug Like Me by Carly... so many more I'm forgetting

 

5. What are some of your main sources of creative inspiration?

Photography and visual art honestly, I'm notorious, for better or worse, for using a lot of imagery in my writing  Photoshop art is my main form of expression, until this week I hadn't written since early 2019 

 

6. Lastly, feel free to share some examples of your writing

No  

[fountain]

2 hours ago, Temporal said:

3. Who are your favourite artists, songwriters, and/or both?

Ellie Goulding

 

4 hours ago, fountain said:

Temporal - Halcyon's Wings

Nobody could ever have guessed 

[Hug]

6 hours ago, fountain said:

The songs of Round 1, Zoology:

 

Kylie Jenner - Eve

Hug - Lilith

Oh did we both hit the slay button. Wouldn't expect any less from Kylie

[Temporal]

2 hours ago, fountain said:

 

Nobody could ever have guessed 

Plagiarism is one of my favorite activities   

[fountain]

@Allday you need to change the settings of your Google doc, we aren't able to access it 

[XO_Life]

7 hours ago, fountain said:

The songs of Round 1, Zoology:

 

Kylie Jenner - Eve

Julia Fox - Crying Birds

DatChickDoe - Bite

Hug - Lilith

worldwide angel - Eternal

Allday - Animal For You

Better Mistakes - Don't Leave My Life

hurricane326 - I Walk Alone

EpicSongFan - Sweet Escape

XO_Life - i shed skin not tears

beatinglikeadrum - Cock-a-doodle-do

camfuckingrockwell - Bluebird

TruGemini - Whisked Away

Jack! - Teddy Bear

Augmented - Night owl

Gavin. - Stung

Legend E - Moving With The Speed of Light

Achilles. - Hibernate

Euterpe - Small Beginnings

Temporal - Halcyon's Wings

Remmy - THE ZOO

JoeAg - Tyto Alba

 

 

My song is called Body Make-Up. 

I changed it. :D 

 

[fountain]

5 minutes ago, XO_Life said:

My song is called Body Make-Up. 

I changed it. :D 

 

 My bad, let me edit it! 

[Gavin.]

Did anyone have any other ideas than what they submitted? Let’s share those!

 

i liked where I was going with this chorus but I didn’t try to write anything else 

 

Spoiler

I wish I could fly high

Like a starling in the sky

Spread my wings and say goodbye

To this world behind me

Where the sky is clear blue

And there’s nothing else to do

But (something hereeeee idk what)

That I’ve left behind me

Cute acoustic countrish track in my mind 

[fountain]

3 minutes ago, Gavin. said:

Did anyone have any other ideas than what they submitted? Let’s share those!

 

i liked where I was going with this chorus but I didn’t try to write anything else 

 

  Hide contents

I wish I could fly high

Like a starling in the sky

Spread my wings and say goodbye

To this world behind me

Where the sky is clear blue

And there’s nothing else to do

But (something hereeeee idk what)

That I’ve left behind me

Cute acoustic countrish track in my mind 

This is cute, you could definitely turn this into something if you choose to return to it! 

[fountain]

I’ll be starting my reviews shortly, should at least have the first chunk posted tonight.
 

Reminder that the second challenge is coming tomorrow, and Round 1’s results will be on Sunday 

[Hug]

I didn't really get past the concept phase for any other ideas I had, though I did have an idea to write something  based off the rat utopia project...another time perhaps 

[Gavin.]

23 minutes ago, hurricane326 said:

I've read about these hellhounds
In fanciful post-Renaissance fears
But when I traveled to Anglia I found the shuck has a presence here
The countryfolk stay in at night out of caution for their fates
But I'm determined to see for myself the beast that awaits

Oh i like this! I can hear the melody in my head, with the second to last line going up the octave and then the last line returning to a low note

Maybe a billieish type of voice.

 

1 hour ago, fountain said:

This is cute, you could definitely turn this into something if you choose to return to it! 

Awe thank you! I'll keep it and maybe do something with it eventually.  I feel like I'm decent at writing some basic but cute choruses and then verses are where I struggle.  Have to take y'alls feedback to get better tho!

[fountain]

Ew I just got attacked by a big spider. I’m not even usually scared of spiders but now it’s disappeared somewhere in my room because I didn’t have anything to get it with straight away, so who knows where it is. Unsettling  but I suppose this is very fitting for the Zoology challenge 

[fountain]

Update I got the spider  now I can review and prepare things for Round 2 in peace x

[fountain]

16 hours ago, fountain said:

The songs of Round 1, Zoology:

 

Kylie Jenner - Eve

Julia Fox - Crying Birds

DatChickDoe - Bite

Hug - Lilith

worldwide angel - Eternal

Allday - Animal For You

Better Mistakes - Don't Leave My Life

hurricane326 - I Walk Alone

EpicSongFan - Sweet Escape

XO_Life - Body Make-Up

beatinglikeadrum - Cock-a-doodle-do

camfuckingrockwell - Bluebird

TruGemini - Whisked Away

Jack! - Teddy Bear

Augmented - Night owl

Gavin. - Stung

Legend E - Moving With The Speed of Light

Achilles. - Hibernate

Euterpe - Small Beginnings

Temporal - Halcyon's Wings

Remmy - THE ZOO

JoeAg - Tyto Alba

 

 

Going to post my first 7 reviews in a little bit, this will be from Kylie Jenner to hurricane326 (since Allday’s doc is still private). The rest will be posted tomorrow 

[Hug]

!!! excited

[fountain]

 

Round 1: The Zoology Challenge

 

@Kylie Jenner - Eve

Congrats on being the first submission of season two!

Immediately, my initial thought when looking at your submission was that your concept was a really creative way of meeting the challenge of writing inspired by an animal, while incorporating biblical themes through  the story of Eve; this is very well thought out conceptually and a really strong start on that front. Lyrically I think your song is quite strong too, the song overall is very cohesive and puts its message and story across well, and there is no part that wavers or falls flat in that regard. I would say that when it comes to some specific lines though, I think the writing could’ve been pushed further. There are some instances throughout the song where the lyric itself can lack uniqueness a bit - general ideas such as dealing with the demons, loving the pain, it making you insane, these are pretty beaten to death in music and I think perhaps you could have pushed the creativity in these parts a little more so that lyrically the creativeness was as strong as the concept behind the song itself; ultimately some of these specific lines felt almost as if they were kind of like the first thing that came to your mind and you just went with it, and I think the easy rhymes that are in these parts of the songs also heightened the feeling. On the contrary, to praise a part that I thought was the strongest lyrically, I really enjoyed the bridge, specifically the two final lines of the song which I think were the most resonant. Ultimately I would say that in the future I would work more to make sure that each lyric in your song is unique as well as being purposeful to the overall song, and that will strengthen your writing as a whole to the same high that I think you have shown your concepts to be on first impression, and hopefully those concepts continue to be interesting like this one! Overall though for a first entry this is a very solid, good job.

 

@Julia Fox - Crying Birds

I think this song demonstrates what began at the end of season one, which is amazing growth in your writing, and it’s amazing to see this continue. I think that conceptually this is one of your most interesting songs to date, and probably the best executed in terms of matching the overall themes about questioning behind the song, with your writing, which is a great pairing here. What I like is that you’ve really painted this picture here and the song itself is very vivid, I too want to know what is going on with the birds and how they are, and it almost gave a dystopian novel type feeling to the song, that something sinister is brewing and the protagonist in the song can do nothing but be witness to it and notice these things and what is happening to the world. In terms of the challenge this is obviously a great success too since the birds are such an integral part of the story and the lyrics, the song truly takes inspiration from them so you’ve done a wonderful job tackling the challenge. Overall I found this to be a really intriguing and enjoyable entry, in general I do typically love questioning themes and writing that is open to interpretation, but I do truly think that you excelled in this style regardless and that this is one of the best songs I’ve seen from you; great job!

 

@DatChickDoe - Bite

I really enjoyed the overall vibe of this song, it gives me dark club feels, I can picture it as like a Tove Lo song or something like that, so it’s well written in the sense that I can really visualise this song and hear it too, to a degree. I also enjoyed the back and forth between the two people in the song, the predator and the prey if you will, and that at the end of the song the prey steps up to bite; this gives the song a great energy throughout it and means it never feels stagnant or lacking storywise. I will say, in terms of the challenge itself, I don’t think this is the best execution of it. While there are some animalistic phrases and behaviour within the song, there is only two specific mentions of animals, which is the widow in the bridge and the shark in the first verse, and I think the premise of the challenge was more so to write a song that encompasses a specific animal rather than animalistic behaviour in general; however I can’t fault you too much on this because it seems mostly to be more of a misunderstanding of the challenge rather than a lacking interpretation of it, I think. There are some lyrics that I found particularly strong, I really enjoyed the second verse (the Shakespeare part of the song) and the chorus as a whole is also very solid and has some very nice writing to it, these moments your word choice and writing really shined and I look forward to the future and seeing your develop this more and see what you can create, because I think you have it in you to peak right at the top with some more experience and work. Overall a good start to the season. 

 

@Hug - Lilith

Okay, so this is the second snake from the Garden of Eden song, but I still think it’s a really creative and interesting take on the challenge, so I’m not going to let that skew my impression of your song.

*insert me reading the song here*

Well, I have to say, I think this is genius. You’ve so excellently retold the biblical story in a interesting way here and from a fresh perspective, with which the song is filled to the brim with nuance and layers that I think is just, as I said, genius. Not only have you tackled the challenge and also brought in the story of Adam and Eve and the snake/Lilith in a really fresh and interesting way, but on top of all this you’ve also added in really powerful themes of what it means to be a women; themes which are still timely to this day, and when you contrast that literally to the story of humanity’s creation, it’s really impressive. Now, one could still attempt all of this but ultimately fail due to the writing not pulling this all off; but of course, that isn’t the case with you, your writing is as strong as ever and your lyrics remain tight and smooth throughout the song. I could certainly be forgetting specifics about season one, but I’m definitely inclined to agree with what you posted in the thread - this is probably the best song you’ve submitted in Golden Hit thus far. Seriously fantastic.

 

@worldwide angel - Eternal

Wow, reading this song was literally so refreshing and blissful, I was so happy and excited while reading it. Being able to achieve that with your writing is such an incredible sign of something special and with this being the first song I’ve ever read from you, I’m immediately really impressed and intrigued in what you could write in the future for the next challenges. Even though the song has a sombre ending, my impression of it is still beaming and so joyous because your writing itself to me completely embodied that feeling and has such an overall dreamlike, starry presence to it that even though it went there, it still feels beautiful, if that makes sense? The song itself conceptually too is such a unique idea - a turtle swimming in a waterfall - like who thinks of that? Your mind! This is an instance where I kind of struggle to know what to say because I enjoyed the experience of reading the song so much that it’s hard to not gush solely about that. But, do you mind if that’s what this review mostly consists of? Because that’s how I felt and the reaction I had reading your song. I loved it, and I cannot wait to see what you write next. 

 

@Better Mistakes - Don’t Leave My Life

So I read the description of your song first and I was wondering wtf I was about to get myself into, but actually it was a nice pleasant surprise to see how sweet the song actually was. There are some really lovely lyrics here and the overall sentiment of the song, and the theme of wondering about being abandoned or forgotten by somebody important to you, is really well put across. I feel though that the song is perhaps a little short, the two verses are only 4 lines each, the bridge is mostly repetition, and unfortunately this means that there is less area for your writing to be shown off; I think these sections could have used with being expanded, which could have given you more room to impress lyrically, and also more potential to develop the narrative and the story of the song further. I have to say, I don’t get any animal inspiration from this. Like, none at all. If you hadn’t have said that this was intended to be read from the perspective of a pet, then I absolutely never would have guessed that it was supposed to be. Still, even with that context, the song doesn’t resemble the focus of the challenge, in my opinion. That said, the challenge can be put aside and if we look at the song itself, I think this is a very sweet and sentimental song, and I believe it is one of the songs I have enjoyed reading from you the most; so in that regard this is a good job. 

 

@hurricane326 - I Walk Alone

I had never heard of the Jersey Devil before so took to googling it quickly, really interesting to hear about!

I’m glad that somebody chose to go down the route of a folklore creature for this challenge, and I think this concept was perfect for you and paired with your writing style magnificently. I love that you have taken the inspiration of a creature from folklore that is often feared, or used to scare, and instead portrayed the creature here in your song as sympathetic and deserving of empathy, it really shows your nuance both in your concepts and with your writing, since you absolutely pulled it off. The multiple uses of the key phrase ‘alone’ and the way that the idea of being alone was adapted throughout the song and took on different meanings was also marvellous, and made for a really great and fulfilling reading experience. As usual, your writing and the lyrics themselves are very strong throughout the entirety of the song, helping lift up and not only tell your story but also force the reader to visualise it in their mind, the sign of a great storyteller. Overall, I think you’ve done a fantastic and unique job here, another very impressive song from you!

 

EpicSongFan - Sweet Escape

The story that you told here and the animals that you chose to present it through worked really well in my opinion, I was intrigued to see how you would portray both animals as your inspiration in the song, and I think ultimately you succeeded in doing so and the choice to be inspired by both really paid off I think, because they directly play off each other back and forth in the song. For example, reading the first verse and pre chorus you get introduced to the wolves and the menacing vibe of the song, but then in the chorus this is broken up by the bird inspiration and imagery, and going from the one to the other really helped emphasise these feelings further I believe; which of course is something that continues through the song, going back to the menacing feeling in the second verse and pre chorus again, and then the freedom once more in the second chorus. To me it makes the chorus all the more euphoric, and I think i’d definitely say it’s my favourite part of the song - I specifically love the lines “I’ll seek freedom and the hope that it brings / I’ll soar freely across the sky with these wings” which is just really lovely. Overall I very much enjoyed your entry, I think this is a strong starting point to the season and I’m interested to see where you go next!

Side note: of course the cover art is a serve, as usual, too!

 

XO_Life - Body Make-Up

I like that you subverted the typical understanding of a snake and instead showed the protagonist of the song in more of an empathetic and victimised role, it’s very easy to go down the obvious route and depict your chosen animal as what they are typically interpreted as but I like that you put a more nuanced spin on the inspiration of a snake. I think choosing to be inspired by such a case for the story of the song was a bold choice, and works well here with the snake concept that you have paired it with, but in the future I would probably be more interested in hearing things that come from a more personal or down to Earth place, since such a notorious source of inspiration can be somewhat distracting. Overall an interesting first submission but I think you can go further in the future. 

 

Beatinglikeadrum - Cock-a-doodle-do

I don’t think you flopped as hard as you said you did. I actually quite enjoyed the first verse, and really was into the tongue in cheek, confident and humorous lyrics that you had there. I think it went a bit downhill from there, the chorus is pretty much filler, and the bridge (minus the Lana part, lol) and second verse don’t really hit like the first one did. But focusing on the positive aspect, I genuinely did enjoy that first verse, and this could just be a case of not connecting with the challenge, since I know you voiced struggling with it. You definitely showed some promise with that first verse though, so I look forward to seeing what you create in the future and hope that the next challenges are ones that you can enjoy more!

 

Camfuckingrockwell - Bluebird

What I think is put across in your song the best is it’s emotion and personal feeling, these are things that are highly relatable for most people and it’s evident when reading your song that it has this vulnerability and softness behind it, which is really brave to explore in writing, both personally, but moreso in sharing it with others, so I definitely commend you in this. I think the others have touched on this but one thing I would echo is that I do think the song could have been expanded on, while the emotion that you’ve included in the song is pretty deep, I know that there is still much deeper that it could have went, and further that the story could have gone. I really don’t mind the simplicity of your lyrics, I actually think it worked well in this instance and fits with what you were going for, but still the narrative of the song could have been explored more.

 

TruGemini - Whisked Away

The concept that you went for here, with the song purposefully being applicable to both a human situation and an animal one, is a really interesting and unique choice, and I think you pulled it off since reading it through in both contexts it works. In terms of your writing I think it is incredibly smooth and rhythmic as usual, which is somebody I always completely enjoy about your entries and know I can always count on when I see your name appear! I definitely see this song as a continuation of your growth from toward the end of the first season, focusing on emotional aspects in your song, while keeping the narrative interesting and engaging, and this is great to see. Overall I think this is a strong start to the season for you and shows a new, soft side to your writing, which leaves me wondering what we may see from you in the future.

 

Jack! - Teddy Bear

Honestly the idea of combining hook up culture, Frankenstein, and build-a-bear is pretty genius. I mean, I absolutely would never have thought to combine these elements into a song, or how they would work, but they do, and you pulled it off very well! It’s interesting because there are elements of the song which are quite sweet, but then also parts which feel somewhat sinister, and I guess just like the concept behind it, it creates this interesting amalgamation that was really intriguing to read, and certainly very creative. If I had any criticism, I would say that I think the concept and the narrative do the heavy lifting with the song, I don’t think the lyrics themselves specifically standout or are inspiring for the most part, since more than anything they just put across that narrative itself, but with a more conceptual song like this it can typically happen, so I don’t think it says anything about your capability. Overall this was a really creative first entry, which makes me very intrigued to see what you may go for in the future next!

 

Augmented - Night owl

Despite saying that you struggled with this challenge, I think you’ve written a genuinely lovely song here that you should be proud of. It’s definitely relatable for me on a personal level, being a night owl too, and I think you perfectly captured the essence of why people are night owls, and how freeing and relaxing it can be for us (many times I find that it can be questioned a lot why people would be night owls, and can be a really misunderstood thing; well, if they all got to read this song, I think they might begin to understand it more). You had me sold from the beginning, but what really kept me intrigued was how the narrative shifted towards the end of the song and a new story was introduced to it. I think it can be very difficult to pull something like this off, but you absolutely achieved it, because I didn’t feel a disconnect at all, or any whiplash when the change occurred. It was really beautiful, actually, how the song and the understanding of why this person is a night owl started as one thing, and by the end was something totally different with the new added layers in the latter part of the song. Your skill as a writer continues to be clear, even when you say you struggled with the round. Very well done.

 

Allday - Animal For You

There were a couple of other entries like this, but I think you may have misunderstood the challenge somewhat, since instead of writing a song about a specific animal you’ve written a song about animalistic nature in general, which isn’t really what the idea of the challenge was, but since this is only the first round this can be forgiven. The vibe I get from this song is kind of nostalgic in a weird way, that I can imagine it being a single in the early 2010’s for some label’s attempt at having their own Lady Gaga, and they attempt to launch a career with an edgy song like this; I don’t know if that’s what you were really going for, but I can kind of see it in that context, like I can imagine somebody like Porcelain Black or Natalia Kills singing this, or perhaps something from a slightly earlier time, like the MySpace era of music. Lyrically, I like that edge and darker tone that you’ve went for in this song, I don’t think it’s used in the most unique way here (feeling like being in a cage, craving somebody, are generally quite typical themes) so I think that this is something that you can work on in the future to make your songs stand out a bit more as unique, but in terms of the style of your writing I enjoy it in this song and it would be interesting to see where you can take it in the future and how much further you can push this dark vibe. Overall I think this is a good entry for the first round, but I am more interested in seeing something bigger and more distinctive from you in the future.

 

Gavin. - Stung

I think this song is very brave to have written, having experienced something quite similar I can say it definitely takes some guts to write about this and be open about what happened to you, even though the song is very metaphorical the story is there and I think you’ve done a really strong job of firstly meeting the requirements of the challenge, but secondly writing something really interesting where at first glance you might not notice how deep the song actually is. It’s nuanced, and I like that it’s done in this way because you could’ve tackled a topic like this in a very straightforward and simple way, which would have been fine, but your execution here and the concept that you have went for, paired with this story, makes for a very unique and in my opinion impressive entry. The whole thing works together very well in my opinion, there’s no weak part of the song and no specific part that stands out as the strongest either, it’s just very level and tells the story that it needs to, and I appreciate this. Overall I think this is a very strong entry for the first round, I’m impressed that you’ve already delivered such a personal song and really admire that you went for this, I think it definitely paid off and is one of the most memorable of the round for me.

 

Legend E - Moving With The Speed of Light

I think it’s clear looking at your explanation of the song, and the lyrics themselves, that a lot of thought went into this song and the concept behind it, and I definitely think it paid off. The cheetah metaphors used here to represent somebody who goes from hookup to hookup are brilliant, it’s a really great example of a metaphor that is clever but also works well in the realm of lyrics since you can relate this to a lot of other things like speed, and cheetah/cheating, which gives multiple layers and balance to your song. Lyrically I think the song is strong too, I have to specifically praise the line “I win every speed dating night” which I think is absolutely killer - it’s so layered with humour and self deprecation, but also meaning and depth to it, which I thought really was a stand out lyric not just in the song but the whole round for me. Overall I think this is a great entry, you’ve excelled at the challenge and written something that explores a really interesting theme with the right amount of depth to it, nice job.

 

Achilles. - Hibernate

Honestly I laughed at “Bears hibernate.”, indeed they do.

I think your song is pretty relatable, and you’ve explored the emotion here really well; sometimes there truly is nothing I could want more than to just disappear, to not exist for a while, and to relate this to hibernation and bears is a really strong move. Conceptually, this is a great one. Lyrically, I think you brought in a good mix here too. Something I want to point at first and talk about are the bear puns(? would they be called puns? idk) in both of the verses, using bear, barely, and burden, which I think is a really smart way of bringing in the animal itself through the pronunciation of “bear”, without actually ever having to refer to the animal itself anywhere in the song; there’s no way that this wasn’t intentional and I haven’t read any of your other reviews but I just have to point this out in case nobody else has because it was really good. I like the multiple layers throughout the song, while it’s heavy on the emotion and the central theme of wanting to run away, I like that you brought in other ideas in a very subtle way such as deforestation/wildfires, skinning of bears, and hunting; I suppose overall I would call this song very subtle in general, with some real well thought out depth to it when you look into it. Overall I think this is definitely a strong entry, you did a fantastic job with the challenge but also wrote a really emotionally resonant song on top of that, great job.

 

Euterpe - Small Beginnings 

Omg love the fact that covid restrictions meant more turtles survived hatching thanks to beaches not being populated… thanks humanity!

I think this is a really lovely, beautiful song about the delicacies of nature and the intricacy of life. Exploring the beginning stages of life, and the marvel of the world, through the eyes of a hatched turtle is just fantastic, it is both cute but also incredibly sentimental, and the song creates a really nice balance between being sweet but also having depth behind it which is great; it never steps too far into being childlike or Disneyfied, but always comes back to make you appreciate what is being said and the emotion behind it. Lyrically I think the song matches perfectly with the concept, everything that I have praised your concept for I can do the same for the lyrics, the two match succinctly and I think you’ve perfectly executed the vision of the song you were going for here. Overall a fantastic first entry!

 

Temporal - Halcyon’s Wings

Um not this revelation that Halcyon is also the name of a type of bird? Literally had no idea.

Really clever to go for a double entendre here with Halcyon both being the bird but also the state of peace, really nice concept and I think you executed it very well. It’s unique but also purposeful and full of meaning, and you tied the two together through the song perfectly too, in that the bird inspires this moment. We love a joyous song, and the chorus here is fantastic at embodying this emotion and really well written. I think this is a great exploration of that moment when the world suddenly comes to light again, and it’s really vivid and beautiful picturing it in association with the flight of a bird. Overall I think this is a strong entry, you mentioned it had been years since you last wrote a song but you definitely jumped right back into it successfully, great job!

 

Remmy - THE ZOO

When it comes to oneliners, or comedic writing in general, I think we are yet to see anybody else excel at it as you do. This is another great example of how funny yet still impressive your writing is in these types of songs, always making the reader question every other line “literally how did he think of this?”. We’ve talked before about how it can become overdone but in this case it is so fitting for the challenge and the references throughout the song are just so absurd and genius that I wouldn’t have wanted you to attempt anything else this round tbh! It’s quite the experience to read too, starting off as it does and then becoming “uncaged” and turning into the NSFW gem that you are known and loved for; I can’t help but wonder, was this first verse/intro an attempt originally at a more subdued song, or was it written intentionally as a red herring? Now, without further ado my standout, most ****** up lines: “Thick and wide, curved at an angle / it bent a little bit after getting strangled”, “I can tell the rabbits are jealous / and they wish their gooch could be this hairless”, “Life expectancy’s low, so my time is precious / Gotta make so many kids (so we’ll never be endangered)”, “The monkeys gave me a condom… banana flavoured”. As you can see, there are quite a few - this is a disgusting, fabulous mess. Great job.

 

JoeAg - Tyto Alba

This is incredibly beautiful and really poetic. The concept of depicting a lover as an owl, something wise and piercing and full of splendour, and portraying a break up with this person as them flying away, is really fantastic. What I love most in the song is your descriptions in your lyrics, they are truly wonderful. I think the general idea of someone or something flying away can be quite typical, but with your poetic language and set up you’ve created something that feels mature and full of depth. Specifically my favourite line has to be “Peace of mind is so far to reach, but you seemed to be a prodigy / you could take anyone and they would love you as you were”, which is just so poetic and stunning. Your song overall is very impressive, I loved seeing your writing throughout the first season and felt at times it might have been somewhat overlooked and deserved better, and I truly hope that it receives this, this season; and imagine it will, given how great this first entry is. 

 

 

Edited August 28, 2022 by fountain

[fountain]

if you notice any typos, no you don't

 

also yes i guess i'm paula again 

[Remmy]

not a spider  glad you got it <33

praying there's no babies or relatives around