tournament Golden Hit: Season 2 📀 Congratulations Hug! 🏆

[Hug]

>You climbed to Heaven in a Tower of Babel made of code

>You tripped on your arrogance, the fault is all your own

>Adorning a crown that was never yours to claim

>You’ve programmed a Hell that you can’t escape

 

[Remmy]

2 hours ago, Achilles. said:

Smash top 2 we love to see it for them  

2 hours ago, Legend E said:

REMMY CONGRATS

2 hours ago, fountain said:

congrats @Remmy !! #2 cause ur the ****!! ??

no for REAL!!!

 

22 hours ago, Jackson said:

OK so – this is spectacular. I’m going to get the things I didn’t like out of the way, because there weren’t many. “What started as a flame/Now’s a forest fire from a cigarette” doesn’t make sense, considering you say it started as a flame and now it started as a cigarette? Is the cigarette a reference to the sibling’s smoking problem or something? “Blood on the knife after I did the dishes” also seemed unnecessary, and the bridge could have probably ended before that line. Otherwise, whew, I’m a Remmy stan this round. I have a friend who’s going through this exact thing right now, so I can picture exactly how the character feels. I’m not sure if this is a personal song, but it FEELS personal, so regardless you’ve done a great job at creating a believable story. Little details like “Our Nintendo days” make the story seem real. The opening couplet was cutting and direct, and immersed me immediately in the storyline. Even your metaphors felt hard hitting. I especially loved “You jumped off the branch, went for the coast/Escaped the nest, way later than most”. In the second verse, “Maybe you could relate, just needed dead weight” was another highlight. The bridge was a beautiful example of poppy, lyrical songwriting that still felt poetic. The wordplay here reminded me a bit of country music. It’s also catchy enough that it could have worked as a chorus. The final couplet had a strong sense of resolve and defiance. In all, you had a strong storyline, effective metaphors, and beautiful personal details. This is definitely a round highlight for me.

Kiii the 2nd line you pointed out was a little filler, i'll admit  I suppose you're right about the first one  In my mind it's about two different fires, a natural flame that represents our brother-sister relationship & the forest fire is the chaos happening inside my head, while the cigarette is a combination of all the feelings that created it (being ignored, feeling like she doesn't share those same feelings, etc.) ... Oh thank you  The funny thing about this is that I always had a concept of making a similar song about one of my online-only friends & how she pays my ass dust lately, but I felt like having it be about my sister would fit better with "Family Tree" since she's an actual family member. There's definitely things that are real (playing tons of N64/Gamecube back in the day, her moving out solo at a typically later age) and things that aren't (she's single, there was no going away party/toast, we don't have inside jokes to laugh at nnn...) So it became a song with lyrics that are thrown at my sister but feelings that are directed to someone completely different.

 

4 hours ago, 8thPrince said:

“If you want nothing to do with me/Then I'm cutting down this family tree” Okay this was THEE one-liner of the round! The rest of the chorus was great too! You really showed your versatility here, between doing fun rap songs and a dramatic pop song. I liked the story you told here, it was simple but elegantly done, and you quickly established two distinct characters within the song’s runtime. I got a very clear picture of the song’s worldview. This was definitely the song I was most excited to come back and read this round, so kudos! Very happy you submitted for this round.

Yesss I love that line and knew it was the right final punch to end the chorus on  Love that  I don't even think about that type of stuff while writing but it's cool to have people be able to see that in the song. Thanks

 

 

 

also here's the song if anyone wants to read~

 

 

[verse 1]
A bond by blood, drained by love
'Cause you care less about me than a man you met 5 months ago
We saw each other every day, now I don't even know his name...
 
You jumped off the branch, went for the coast
Escaped the nest, way later than most
Didn't say a word when mom asked for a toast
Because I wasn't celebrating...
No, I wasn't celebrating your goodbye.

Through childhood and adolescence
You taught me several lessons, that stuck with me for life
Our Nintendo days were the best and,
No one understand when, we laugh at inside jokes
How do you not feel the same way?
How do you not feel the same way??

[chorus]
My head fills with regrets
Your face turns to a silhouette
And I can't find the light
What started as a flame
Now's a forest fire from a cigarette
And the water's all out of sight
(Call me up, call me up, call me up, won't you?
Call me up, call me up, call me up, won't you?)
If you want nothing to do with me
Then I'm cutting down this family tree

[verse 2]
And now with all these changes, my mind is rearrangin'
Everything we've been through
Did you ever say "yes" because I was lonely?
Maybe you could relate, just needed dead weight
Hanging off your shoulder, couldn't wait to get older
Did you ever say "yes" 'cause you felt bad for me?
 
I know we had some fights, no, we weren't perfect
But throwing me away, is it really worth it?
Some day the people in your corner might be gone
And you'll be the one wondering what went wrong

[chorus]
My head fills with regrets
Your face turns to a silhouette
And I can't find the light
What started as a flame
Now's a forest fire from a cigarette
And the water's all out of sight
(Call me up, call me up, call me up, won't you?
Call me up, call me up, call me up, won't you?)
If you want nothing to do with me
Then I'm cutting down this family tree

[bridge]
Why are you acting different?
What's the difference,
Between now and when we grew up?
Did I not grow up quick enough?

Why are you acting different?
What's the difference,
Between now and when we grew up?
Did I not grow up quick enough?
Quick enough for you??

What was I supposed to do?
6 years apart, different stages of existence
Now time's not our only form of distance
Blood on the knife after I did the dishes
Never wished for this..

[outro]
If you want nothing to do with me (nothing to do with me)...
So if you want nothing to do with me (nothing to do with me)...
If you want nothing to do with me...

Maybe it's time to plant my roots someplace else
And make a family tree for myself

 

[fountain]

45 minutes ago, hurricane326 said:

@fountain the submission form is broken

Oops, it wasn’t set to accept responses yet. It’s open now. 

[Galah]

Hurricane Ben™️ literally taking Golden Hit S2 by storm… I love this for us tbh.

[Galah]

Also if you have any special requests for a token symbol @hurricane326 I can try my best to honour it, otherwise I’ll just use a different hurricane I guess.  Or a live oak perhaps?

[fountain]

13 minutes ago, Aurora said:

Hurricane Ben™️ literally taking Golden Hit S2 by storm… I love this for us tbh.

What I will say for anybody who is invested in the averages and how the scoring works is that you truly never know what can happen… it sounds trite to say, but @Jackson ranked #1 for literally half of Season 1 yet was still matched by @8thPrince thanks to his impeccable consistency and perfect score of 10 in the final round. We also had a different expectation of what the outcome would’ve been vs what actually happened at the halfway point in Season 1 too, so there could still be surprises in store tbh! 
 

@hurricane326 is truly beyond impressive though. I’ll touch on this more with my late round 3 reviews, but I do really think you are a masterful songwriter. The fact that you’ve never had a song score below 8 in both seasons speaks for itself!

[Gavin.]

Ok writing without a melody in mind is proving very difficult 

[fountain]

32 minutes ago, Gavin. said:

Ok writing without a melody in mind is proving very difficult 

For your song overall or specifically the spoken section? If it’s specifically about the spoken parts, I wouldn’t think of them as being without a melody (especially if you find it easier to write melodically) because speech itself still has certain cadence and rhythm patterns to it, which you can view as an alternate form of melody in a way. I think it’s less strict compared to a beat by beat pop song melody for example, but similar properties are there. Reading this right now I’m imagining you are hearing the words as spoken, and the way that they are written brings forth a certain rhythm, right? You could think of that as melody if it helps, and find one that you’d like your spoken section to fit; I’d say the easiest place to start with that is deciding if you want the spoken word in question to be fast paced and impassioned, or slower and more somber, and then work from there if this makes sense. 

[Hug]

So it's a bit late (in the season) to be announcing the album direction but w/e, I introduce...

 

ALIGNMENT/SPLIT

 

Law: Desire for peace, order, and structure, even if attained through force.

[C:\DIGITAL-DYSTOPIA]

 

Neutral: On neither end of the extremes. Trying to find your own way.

Welcome to the Club

Checkmate

 

Chaos - Desire for power, freedom, and knowledge, with no regard to any who'd stand in your way.

Lilith

[Galah]

5 hours ago, fountain said:

What I will say for anybody who is invested in the averages and how the scoring works is that you truly never know what can happen… it sounds trite to say, but @Jackson ranked #1 for literally half of Season 1 yet was still matched by @8thPrince thanks to his impeccable consistency and perfect score of 10 in the final round. We also had a different expectation of what the outcome would’ve been vs what actually happened at the halfway point in Season 1 too, so there could still be surprises in store tbh! 
 

@hurricane326 is truly beyond impressive though. I’ll touch on this more with my late round 3 reviews, but I do really think you are a masterful songwriter. The fact that you’ve never had a song score below 8 in both seasons speaks for itself!

Very well said.  In the wise words of two very well-respected astrophysicists and deep-space astronomers:

 

 

 

 

26 minutes ago, Hug said:

So it's a bit late (in the season) to be announcing the album direction but w/e, I introduce...

 

ALIGNMENT/SPLIT

 

Law: Desire for peace, order, and structure, even if attained through force.

[C:\DIGITAL-DYSTOPIA]

 

Neutral: On neither end of the extremes. Trying to find your own way.

Welcome to the Club

Checkmate

 

Chaos - Desire for power, freedom, and knowledge, with no regard to any who'd stand in your way.

Lilith

OK serving concept visual EP.  Can't wait to read the other "Chaos" song tbh.

[fountain]

4 hours ago, Hug said:

So it's a bit late (in the season) to be announcing the album direction but w/e, I introduce...

 

ALIGNMENT/SPLIT

 

Law: Desire for peace, order, and structure, even if attained through force.

[C:\DIGITAL-DYSTOPIA]

 

Neutral: On neither end of the extremes. Trying to find your own way.

Welcome to the Club

Checkmate

 

Chaos - Desire for power, freedom, and knowledge, with no regard to any who'd stand in your way.

Lilith

We can trust you to always come with a theme

[Gavin.]

9 hours ago, fountain said:

For your song overall or specifically the spoken section? If it’s specifically about the spoken parts, I wouldn’t think of them as being without a melody (especially if you find it easier to write melodically) because speech itself still has certain cadence and rhythm patterns to it, which you can view as an alternate form of melody in a way. I think it’s less strict compared to a beat by beat pop song melody for example, but similar properties are there. Reading this right now I’m imagining you are hearing the words as spoken, and the way that they are written brings forth a certain rhythm, right? You could think of that as melody if it helps, and find one that you’d like your spoken section to fit; I’d say the easiest place to start with that is deciding if you want the spoken word in question to be fast paced and impassioned, or slower and more somber, and then work from there if this makes sense. 

Thank you so much for the advice! Now that you’ve made me think about it I guess a faster spoken word (but not rap fast) is something I’d go for. 
 

the less strict part is what I’m struggling with haha. I’m v basic in my songs and have a simple 6,7,6,7 (for the most part) syllable count for my verses. A good chance to get out of my comfort zone tho! 
 

 

[Gavin.]

Ok something is forming . Trying to go for longer more detailed verses and not make the spoken parts too obviously in tune with the singing parts. 
 

a Kesha type of song I’d say 

[beatinglikeadrum]

Ok..

I'm so used to giving... .gif

 

I planted that seed and I saw the harvest (literally)

 

Thank you so much.

 

[fountain]

6 minutes ago, beatinglikeadrum said:

Ok..

I'm so used to giving... .gif

 

I planted that seed and I saw the harvest (literally)

 

Thank you so much.

 

Spoiler alert for my future late reviews: very much deserved and happy for you! Would even have put you higher, personally. I gave you a score beginning with the number 1! 

[beatinglikeadrum]

47 minutes ago, fountain said:

Spoiler alert for my future late reviews: very much deserved and happy for you! Would even have put you higher, personally. I gave you a score beginning with the number 1! 

 

[Better Mistakes]

Why am i writing a song about ww1 poet, Wilfred Owen dying and his somewhat secret romantic relationship with Sigfried Sassoon??? Folklore/ evermore’s impact on me just lately is too much

 

 

CRUEL WORLD

Never fought with time 

Only those across borders

Never looked in your eyes 

On the field as a soldier 

Edited September 12, 2022 by Better Mistakes

[Galah]

While we anticipate @fountain's reviews for Round 3's Deciduous challenge, as well as the unveiling of the round's Hit Tokens, we interrupt your weekly writing schedule for some #shamelesspromo. My dear friend and signee, Audrey Onyx, whom you might remember from Round 2's BLɅϽKGO⅃D event, has officially launched the pre-order of her forthcoming debut solo studio album, Ophelia, coming October 7th, 2022! Check out the exciting press release below for all the details:

 

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

 

 

Ophelia is the forthcoming debut solo studio album by Australian-American singer, songwriter, rapper, and dancer Audrey Ophelia "Onyx" Nixon. Rising to fame in 2014 at the ripe age of 15 as part of the global pop phenomenon BLɅϽKGO⅃D, Onyx—now 23—is finally stepping out on her own in order to establish herself as a household name on her own terms. The talented 20-something has recently added "bedroom pop producer" to her already impressive résumé, landing a recording deal with independent record label Aurora Records, owned by Onyx's close friend and industry mentor, Australian singer, songwriter, rapper, and producer Aurora.

 

The new record is a departure from BLɅϽKGO⅃D's bombastic and edgy sound and style, instead focusing on a more minimalistic, authentic aesthetic and vibe. Onyx recently collaborated with rising songwriting tournament Golden Hit in order to enlist budding songwriters to help create Ophelia, with offerings from @Julia Fox and @beatinglikeadrum expected to appear on the set. The project's initial lead single, "lemon tree paradox", was slated for release on September 9th, however it was pushed back in favour of the Fox-penned "vintage", which debuted at #5 on the Platvia HitList. Promotional single "Running away from the sun" debuted at #11, while "paradox" is now expected to serve as the project's second single in the coming weeks.

 

In the cover artwork for the album, Onyx has retained her signature "half-black, half-gold" hair style and peach pink lips, while posing nude in a field of rhododendrons. Donning only a flower crown upon her head, she also holds a bouquet of peach pink roses. When asked about the cover photoshoot in an interview with ATRL News, Onyx claimed, "It was such a liberating experience, being at one with nature like that. So intimate, so personal... just like my record. I did actually get a thorn stuck in my cooch, which kind of hurt, but I believe everything happens for a reason, and assumed it was just nature's way of telling me that beauty is pain." When asked about the torn paper aesthetic, Onyx clarified, "It's representative of me not just turning the page in my life, but tearing out the old ones entirely."

 

Track listing for Ophelia
All tracks are written and produced by Audrey Ophelia Nixon and Aurora Renée Jaymesson, except where noted.

 

01. hym(e)n
02. lemon tree paradox
03. Bermuda love triangle
04. quadriplegic cokewhore
05. vintage
06. wet floor sign
07. colorblind synesthesiac
08. gypsy bítch
09. Theodore
10. carpet-bomb
11. rhododendrons
12. Running away from the sun

 

Notes

• Track 5 was written by Julia Fox.
• Track 12 was written by beatinglikeadrum.
 

Digital, CD, and vinyl editions of Audrey Onyx's forthcoming debut solo studio album Ophelia are now available to pre-order:

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

 

Aurora's note: I was hit with a flash of inspiration today and wanted to share this just for fun.  Should I actually write this album? I have several ideas for some of these titles already... let me know.

[Remmy]

 oh wow oh wow

yeah you should write the album, why not  make it your mission

[Legend E]

omg yes slay us aubrey o'day!

[Julia Fox]

Omg such an honor to have my song as the first single 

[fountain]

Julia and beatinglikeadrum booked and busy 

[Euterpe]

Oh wow, this is amazing. 

[Better Mistakes]

On 9/12/2022 at 9:21 PM, Better Mistakes said:

Why am i writing a song about ww1 poet, Wilfred Owen dying and his somewhat secret romantic relationship with Sigfried Sassoon??? Folklore/ evermore’s impact on me just lately is too much

 

 

CRUEL WORLD

Never fought with time 

Only those across borders

Never looked in your eyes 

On the field as a soldier 

Never fought with time 

Only those across borders

Never looked in your eyes 

On fields with others

 

(Pre Chorus)

All of the weeping crosses in blushing reds won’t retell what we knew

All of the weeping crosses won’t raise me from the ground 

[beatinglikeadrum]

Slaying the charts as a promo single.

 

Also my song being a closer of the album.