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Is anyone here depressed / suicidal?


cyclone

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Title, i am wondering if there is anyone in this predicament, I feel like life can get hard at times.

Edited by cyclone
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i'm not suicidal however i've been losing motivation to get tasks done more and more often. i just don't see the value of being productive anymore as everything in the world seems to be falling apart. im losing sight of my career goals and no longer have the desire to prove myself or impress anyone or be "successful", i just want to be happy.

Edited by PrettyHurts
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3 minutes ago, cyclone said:

Title, i am wondering if there is anyone in this predicament, I feel like life can get hard at times.

Yes. 
 

 

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Depressed? Yes.

Suicidal? Not when death is my biggest fear.

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3 minutes ago, PrettyHurts said:

i'm not suicidal however i've been losing motivation to get tasks done more and more often. i just don't see the value of being productive anymore as everything in the world seems to be falling apart. im losing sight of my career goals and no longer have the desire to prove myself or impress anyone or be "successful", i just want to be happy.

This is just facts i feel this hard. I'm still in school, my little tasks and job feel pointless and i'm pretty unhappy even though im not doing that bad on paper. Idk

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7 minutes ago, PrettyHurts said:

i'm not suicidal however i've been losing motivation to get tasks done more and more often. i just don't see the value of being productive anymore as everything in the world seems to be falling apart. im losing sight of my career goals and no longer have the desire to prove myself or impress anyone or be "successful", i just want to be happy.

me exactly

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Most days I’m depressed. Some days im suicidal. My hope for a better tomorrow keeps me going :michael:

 

if you’d like to know more or commiserate, my DMs are open 

 

:heart:

Edited by PMKARDASHIAN
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I'm bipolar so I definitely have really bad days. This year has kinda been my worst in a long time though.

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Yes, very much so :hug: you're not alone at all and my dms are always open

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Hope this Marianne Williamson video helps

 

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no but I'm kinda doing nothing atm and I feel like I should be more productive and it's starting to weigh on me a bit:skull:

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Depressed yeah. It takes me forever to do anything even leave the house why I went to go meet yungblud to help me out of that rut.  I've been feeling so down and it was hard to even eat or play games. Only thing keeping me sane were discord friends.

 

However things did change this week when my bf (who I thought was slipping away) came back around and invited me to qld. So that kinda cheered me up a little.  But dunno how long since my emotion/bpd takes over.

 

 

With suicidal thoughts takes over with obessesion. So instead of thinking about ending it all I just think but if I died I wouldn't be able to listen to my fave and watch him grow. It's why I look upto allday & stoff so much because they have got me out of that mind set and it helped. I dont care if people call me creepy for it.  Like find something you love and love it hard. It can save your life.  So haven't had suicidal thoughts in some time now.

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Spoiler

I have BPD, so yea. I lost my abusive dad to a fatal accident one year (and got satisfaction out of it, which felt so wrong in itself) and then my little brother to suicide in response to abuse and trauma the next year (which completely sent me spiraling). I was already depressed and neglected for most of my life, but my little brother offing himself really was the final blow that set me so far back. All I was ever told was to “be strong for him” and forced myself to start working again because I had no other choice. For a while it felt like I was stuck on pause and the rest of the world was passing by. The whole corporate world became so fake to me. I already knew it was, but it just became even more pointless after I entertained the idea that my little brother was onto something by leaving this world. Like we all got paid to virtually do nothing of importance and stress out every day over the possibility of losing such a pathetic role in society because the some passive aggressive phrase the boss used or whatever stupid **** people were on. The pay was good but I literally wanted to throw myself out of the 23 story window most days. Long story short, I quit that **** and ended up living in a motel for a month in a new city to give myself a new challenge and change of scenery, and then quarantine happened and I was finally able to tap into my many talents again. For any normal person, quarantine was depressing, but I thrived. I gained popularity on TikTok with millions of likes through my acting abilities and started doing stand up shows here and there. Things started to look up and I started managing restaurant and bars (which still sucks, but at least I have more fun and get to be myself around my employees)… anyways, TL;DR. I know about depression and suicide all too well, but it’s a part of life. Life IS suffering, but you have to find the beauty in it somehow, someway, no matter how long it takes. It typically becomes more tolerable the more you age. 

 

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The only thing that keeps me away from suicide is the thought of all the trouble I’ve been through having been for nothing 

Edited by HeWolf
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7 hours ago, PrettyHurts said:

i'm not suicidal however i've been losing motivation to get tasks done more and more often. i just don't see the value of being productive anymore as everything in the world seems to be falling apart. im losing sight of my career goals and no longer have the desire to prove myself or impress anyone or be "successful", i just want to be happy.

same

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Yes I was suicidal back in Feb. Severe depression and complex PTSD

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I've lived with moderate to severe depression since childhood and attempted suicide once during my teen years. I haven't tried since then, (and never will again knock wood) but as an adult I have endured very dark periods during which I compulsively fantasized about my own violent death.

 

 

Edited by Pop Life
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i've been depressed but it's been a while ever since i felt suicidal back in March when i tried to hurt myself really badly. I hate the fact that I don't know if I have PTSD or not, like, can i be diagnosed already?

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21 hours ago, PrettyHurts said:

i'm not suicidal however i've been losing motivation to get tasks done more and more often. i just don't see the value of being productive anymore as everything in the world seems to be falling apart. im losing sight of my career goals and no longer have the desire to prove myself or impress anyone or be "successful", i just want to be happy.

This is basically how I'm feeling. It's annoying because I'll be doing so good for a while, but then I eventually fall back into my old self destructive habits and I'm back at square one. Like for the past three months I've been showing up at my job five days a week, working my ass off, getting my money and leaving, but this week I called off three days in a row. I was also originally supposed to start school this January, but I was able to push my start date to the fall semester... but now I'm thinking of pushing my start date to January of next year. I'm my own worst enemy :sadviolin:

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 i've been depressed since the end of July. Sometimes it feels very painful, I'm going through a lot in my life and i feel so alone.

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15 hours ago, Winged said:

Yes I was suicidal back in Feb. Severe depression and complex PTSD

Not February for me but same, boo. The stress of returning to school is wreaking havoc.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Yes & sometimes. 

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