Beyonnaise Posted July 5, 2022 Share Posted July 5, 2022 (edited) This seems like a purely online phenomenon. I genuinely never see this as a problem when I’m at a party. If anything it’s a girl throwing her arms over me and going out of her way to talk to me while her boyfriend uncomfortably stands beside her not saying anything. Most of my friends are women and very rarely will I hear something condescending toward gays from one – whenever I have I call that sh*t out and they immediately apologize. One of my friends did say recently that she doesn’t really understand non-binary people or why Sam Smith “feels like” they are in between male and female, and I told her that it’s important to just listen to them and respect their pronouns/experience and she agreed. These types of conversations are much easier in person and outside of the battlefields of social media, generally. Edited July 5, 2022 by Beyonnaise Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aethereal Posted July 5, 2022 Share Posted July 5, 2022 6 minutes ago, MotoPapi said: I think most straight women have issues with trans women mostly because of the generation that was raised by tumblr/twitter do too much online but are ok with regular gay men and lesbians. In academic polls when asking "Is a trans woman a woman?" Straight women's answer results seem to be evenly, yes and no. Paraphs even the absolute majority of straight women under the age of 35 will answer yes. Do you think polls are really representative but I honestly cannot tell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoveInStereo Posted July 5, 2022 Share Posted July 5, 2022 We haven’t only alienated allies, lots of lesbians have felt ostracized for years due to the popular online rhetoric that claims one is a TERF if they don’t want to be with a woman with a *****. The way people within & outside of our community try to brush this phenomenon under the rug & demonize anybody who acknowledges it is so sick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mxoonlight Posted July 5, 2022 Share Posted July 5, 2022 Trans and genderqueer people are constantly belittled regardless of if the cis person is straight or not Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Communion Posted July 5, 2022 Share Posted July 5, 2022 No, TERFs just want you to think so. In both the UK and US, a majority cis women identify as pro-trans and supporting the right to identify as the gender one wishes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robert Posted July 5, 2022 Share Posted July 5, 2022 (edited) Straight women who just wanted a gay man as an accessory were never our allies.That being said there’s plenty of amazing straight women supporting the LGBTQ and always have done. Edited July 5, 2022 by Robert Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vertigo Stick Posted July 5, 2022 Share Posted July 5, 2022 Genuine allies? No. Fakes and frauds? The allyship was always performative Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cain Posted July 5, 2022 Share Posted July 5, 2022 49 minutes ago, Beyonnaise said: This seems like a purely online phenomenon. I genuinely never see this as a problem when I’m at a party. If anything it’s a girl throwing her arms over me and going out of her way to talk to me while her boyfriend uncomfortably stands beside her not saying anything. Most of my friends are women and very rarely will I hear something condescending toward gays from one – whenever I have I call that sh*t out and they immediately apologize. One of my friends did say recently that she doesn’t really understand non-binary people or why Sam Smith “feels like” they are in between male and female, and I told her that it’s important to just listen to them and respect their pronouns/experience and she agreed. These types of conversations are much easier in person and outside of the battlefields of social media, generally. Yes, as much as the internet has done for queer spaces and queer communication, it's also damaged everyone a lot The internet is not designed for genuine understanding or coming together and our fights will never be truly fought on it, we need to do that **** in the real world Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elusive Chanteuse Posted July 5, 2022 Share Posted July 5, 2022 1 hour ago, Cloudy said: cis females were and will NEVER be allies This is embarrassing. Yes and I've encountered more gay republicans out and about than I have anything in the past. I'm not sure what's happening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tropez Posted July 5, 2022 Share Posted July 5, 2022 1 hour ago, Aristotle said: Gay men or at least feminine gay men have it 10x worse than straight white women. As for gay's misogyny, many of the straight ally women fetishy gay men as feminine clowns and bad mouth bisexual man as disgusting and not manly enough for them. That needs to be said. And aside from abortion both sexes have their own advantages and disadvantages. This is whataboutism. On top of that, you want to have some sort of oppression Olympics. You are ignoring the fact that gay men are men, and because of this they do often uphold patriarchal standards. Even amongst themselves, with bottom shaming as that's seen as the woman's role. Didn't Saucy Santana make a ignorant bold remark that was misogynist and he is a fem gay man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harwee Posted July 5, 2022 Share Posted July 5, 2022 (edited) You can say the same about straight men. A lot of them are allies, sure women more than men, but when push comes to shove they will bite if rights are violated. I don't think gays should insert themselves on everything tbh, learn how to step back, because there's plenty out there who just want to stir shit and take your energy from picking the right battles. Edited July 5, 2022 by harwee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keter Posted July 5, 2022 Share Posted July 5, 2022 2 hours ago, Patient Zero said: This, and non-binary. My cis female bff’s can be very transphobic. Just because folk don’t understand trans and non-binary people (yet), doesn’t mean they’re all of a sudden going to hate gays. I don’t see the correlation between gays and trans to be honest. Yeah I don’t see it either. Gender identity and sexuality are related, but they’re not the same. And pre-op trans women claiming that lesbians need to accept “the feminine *****” is VERY distressing for lesbian cis women. It’s not all trans women saying that, but there’s plenty. I think that’s a big source of consternation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Headlock Posted July 5, 2022 Share Posted July 5, 2022 2 hours ago, Pleighboy said: Yes due to trans rights coming hard and fast. Ciswomen are starting to feel like the focus on transwomen is yet another way for men to get attention and is the inevitable erasure of biological women. Don’t shoot me, I’m just a messenger. I am in female dominated spaces a lot and hear what they say. I am sure I am not the only one who felt like this year’s pride was far less celebrated and acknowledged compared to others. And I think it was by design. You are in *TERF dominated spaces, sis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slap Posted July 5, 2022 Share Posted July 5, 2022 This is what we get for banning them from having their tragic Hen’s nights at the gay clubs like it’s a zoo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sugar-Rush Posted July 5, 2022 Share Posted July 5, 2022 Yes, mostly because of SJWs who continually try to overlook and/or silence the struggles of cis women. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RunUpDoneUp Posted July 5, 2022 Share Posted July 5, 2022 (edited) What? No, quite the opposite, conservative women were never allies in the first place and conservative women are the same ones making a fuss about trans women as they did about drag queens, as they did about gender non-conforming and the like. Anything lgbt was always a problem as they believe ciswomen own femininity in the first place. Transphobic women were never allies, they, just like transphobic gay men are the crabs in the barrel whose goal is to be king in the stall. Small minded, mediocre people that seek to hurt others in order to feel some semblance of strength. I've met more ciswomen rallying for trans issues than I did when gay marriage was in contention tbh. The ciswomen were the ones at the trans performances, giving tips and spinning the block when I last attended an lgbt bar. It's often liberal ciswomen raising objections to boxing in women in my experience. Transphobic women are the pickmes of modern feminism and they are to be maligned and clowned like we did with homophobic women during gay marriage contention. Edited July 5, 2022 by RunUpDoneUp Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meangreen11 Posted July 5, 2022 Share Posted July 5, 2022 It’s not surprising. People have only just recently really come around enough to feel neutral towards gay marriage. Regardless of how accepted it was in Blue areas, it took a bit of time for that to trickle in to traditionally Red areas. Here’s where it gets touchy… a lot of people just aren’t ready for the concept of rethinking/redefining what they have known as man and woman their entire life until this point. It’s much more at the core of their perceived reality. That’s not meant to invalidate anyone or say they shouldn’t be visible, but you have to understand that from the perspective of someone who has minimal involvement with the LGBT community, but is otherwise fine with them doing their own thing because they understand it doesn’t affect them, they are now being actively forced to rethink everything - including their use of pronouns - or they risk being torn apart and called TERFs when they probably don’t even know that that means. It’s forcing the majority to modify their language so it doesn’t upset the (vast) minority and that is a very radical and swift change that has only been pushed the past couple years. It turns people off a bit. (Look at the arguments within the Latin American community because they don’t approve of the term Latinx. It’s a dramatic shift to their established language and is being met with a lot of pushback.) Now women are expected to, very rapidly, get used to a new definition of “woman.” I won’t pretend to have a solution, but from what I know of my conservative friend’s family’s stances, this is how they see it. They are relatively cool with me being gay, but the only language modification they had to make there was accepting I had a boyfriend and not a girlfriend. Modifying someone’s language is a much bigger ask than just accepting that a group exists. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buddy Posted July 6, 2022 Share Posted July 6, 2022 Millennial female "allies" will always support their "gay boys," but I think they're a bit lost with the whole switched focus on non-binary. Gen Z female "allies" seem to be more open minded when it comes to that. Surprisingly, the women we are losing the fastest is lesbians, who more and more seem to be adopting a TERF mentality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SmittenCake Posted July 6, 2022 Share Posted July 6, 2022 6 hours ago, Patient Zero said: And let’s not act as if transphobia and non-binary hate isn’t rampant within the gay community as well… It’s not just the straights putting them down. lies Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ATRL Moderator madonnas Posted July 6, 2022 ATRL Moderator Share Posted July 6, 2022 I mean we seem to be entering an era where homophobia is more socially accepted. So… in ways yes, however I don’t think anybody who really fucked with the gays is part of that. Enoguh people trying to blame everything on trans people though the reason for this is an aggressive campaign against trans people, which then allowed people to wedge the door even further open with more hate. Stop blaming everything on SJWs and trans people I like I’m begging you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nano Posted July 6, 2022 Share Posted July 6, 2022 The LGB community: no. The rest of the alphabet: probably. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Blue_Shirt Posted July 6, 2022 Share Posted July 6, 2022 8 hours ago, MotoPapi said: I think most straight women have issues with trans women mostly because of the generation that was raised by tumblr/twitter do too much online but are ok with regular gay men and lesbians. Oh wow I didn't know social media invented trans women Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bacardo Royale Posted July 6, 2022 Share Posted July 6, 2022 14 hours ago, Kimi said: yall love straight women a bit too much most of them don't **** with us at all tea Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cloudy Posted July 6, 2022 Share Posted July 6, 2022 (edited) 15 hours ago, Elusive Chanteuse said: This is embarrassing. Yes and I've encountered more gay republicans out and about than I have anything in the past. I'm not sure what's happening. What's embarrassing? Most hetero cis females love the idea of having the "gay friend", but will never support them in time of need, mock them behind their backs and I asure you 99% will dump or discard you as soon as you stand for yourself and don't allow the treatment most of them tend to give you. They are all fake and will make anything in their power to let you know that in their group they are the ones who run things and establish THEIR rules and that you better not get out of line or else...After all the homosexual is the one in minority and they won't hesitate in using the same power heterosexual males have because they know they are in a more advantageous position within their group. They are no different than male heterosexual males, don't let that facade they put on fool you. Edited July 6, 2022 by Cloudy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frenchyisback Posted July 6, 2022 Share Posted July 6, 2022 (edited) 19 hours ago, Pleighboy said: Yes due to trans rights coming hard and fast. Ciswomen are starting to feel like the focus on transwomen is yet another way for men to get attention and is the inevitable erasure of biological women. Don’t shoot me, I’m just a messenger. I am in female dominated spaces a lot and hear what they say. I am sure I am not the only one who felt like this year’s pride was far less celebrated and acknowledged compared to others. And I think it was by design. It is so hard to talk about such a sensitive subject... Many feel like LGBTQIA+ started the hostilities against women once they got comfortable with the idea that they had won the culture war & started attacking cis-women who objected to their womanhood being considered the same as a t-woman. The battle for reproductive rights is a reminder for some cis women of the difference between the 2. Woke twitter personally attacking & canceling cis-women who disagree with them is not gonna win hearts and minds. T woman and Cis women needs to acknowledge and respect their differences & their respective challenges. It's what makes each special. Edited July 6, 2022 by frenchyisback Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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