Jynx672 Posted July 2, 2022 Share Posted July 2, 2022 Do you have any ghosting experiences and how did you cope with it? A few weeks ago, I hit up this hot 43-year-old guy (so 16 years older than me) on PlanetRomeo, had a nice chat back and forth and then decided to meet up at his place. We had a great conversation over a drink and we then spent some time together in the bedroom. He knew just what I liked and even called me sensual (which no one had ever called me before). We continued talking on Whatsapp the next two weeks and as he kept sending me really sweet messages, I kinda became infatuated with him (butterflies in my stomach, etc.) which I had not really experienced before in that way. But after he agreed to meet up with me a second time, he just completely ghosted me, both on the day I wanted to meet and afterwards. I let it sit for a few days and then just decided to send him a goodbye message and removed his phone number and convos. Although it stings being ghosted by someone I thought I really connected with, I took it as a learning experience in that I should resist becoming infatuated with someone too quickly and take things much more slowly. It's been getting harder for me to separate sex from feelings as of late so I should probably just make my intentions clear before meeting up with guys who aren't looking for anything serious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alldeezy Posted July 2, 2022 Share Posted July 2, 2022 I'm ghosted every week by my boyfriend. For a girl with BPD i hate it but i'm so used to it now. why I legit just log into discord and pop on voice to get a respond from him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bleuwaffle Posted July 2, 2022 Share Posted July 2, 2022 3 minutes ago, Allday said: I'm ghosted every week by my boyfriend. For a girl with BPD i hate it but i'm so used to it now. why I legit just log into discord and pop on voice to get a respond from him. break up with him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alldeezy Posted July 2, 2022 Share Posted July 2, 2022 1 minute ago, bleuwaffle said: break up with him it's really hard when I have so much love for him! and being 30 and never breaking up with someone is making me delaying it so much! but if I don't see him by August I may have too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bleuwaffle Posted July 2, 2022 Share Posted July 2, 2022 Just now, Allday said: it's really hard when I have so much love for him! and being 30 and never breaking up with someone is making me delaying it so much! but if I don't see him by August I may have too by august? are y'all long distance? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
West Coast Posted July 2, 2022 Share Posted July 2, 2022 it happens a lot from the gays in my city some people don't know how to communicate (I'm one of them) so just don't take it personally/seriously Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jynx672 Posted July 2, 2022 Author Share Posted July 2, 2022 17 minutes ago, West Coast said: it happens a lot from the gays in my city some people don't know how to communicate (I'm one of them) so just don't take it personally/seriously So much for being gays being in touch with their feminine side Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alldeezy Posted July 2, 2022 Share Posted July 2, 2022 34 minutes ago, bleuwaffle said: by august? are y'all long distance? by like 2 half hours . fuel prices that gone up! we used to see each other 1 week per month normally till that happened. plus his suppose to be having birthday do by then. he got sick, then i did, now i think his got covid! so more delay on top of more delay Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janet Posted July 2, 2022 Share Posted July 2, 2022 1 hour ago, Allday said: why I legit just log into discord and pop on voice to get a respond from him. Pls Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheShowoff Posted July 2, 2022 Share Posted July 2, 2022 1 hour ago, Jynx672 said: Do you have any ghosting experiences and how did you cope with it? A few weeks ago, I hit up this hot 43-year-old guy (so 16 years older than me) on PlanetRomeo, had a nice chat back and forth and then decided to meet up at his place. We had a great conversation over a drink and we then spent some time together in the bedroom. He knew just what I liked and even called me sensual (which no one had ever called me before). We continued talking on Whatsapp the next two weeks and as he kept sending me really sweet messages, I kinda became infatuated with him (butterflies in my stomach, etc.) which I had not really experienced before in that way. But after he agreed to meet up with me a second time, he just completely ghosted me, both on the day I wanted to meet and afterwards. I let it sit for a few days and then just decided to send him a goodbye message and removed his phone number and convos. Although it stings being ghosted by someone I thought I really connected with, I took it as a learning experience in that I should resist becoming infatuated with someone too quickly and take things much more slowly. It's been getting harder for me to separate sex from feelings as of late so I should probably just make my intentions clear before meeting up with guys who aren't looking for anything serious. Dont do that anymore. Its very cringe. Hell I just go on about my way. More fish in the sea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TROPICUM Posted July 2, 2022 Share Posted July 2, 2022 Us as gay people never truly got to experience a normal teenage romance were our romantic communication developed. That’s why we are so used to quick things. Let it go sis, learn how to properly communicate your emotions to someone, mature in the romance department and the right one will come! Lots of minorities in the sea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nano Posted July 2, 2022 Share Posted July 2, 2022 Yes. I just go out and get drunk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AbeHicks Posted July 2, 2022 Share Posted July 2, 2022 Ghosting is just part of the game, just like being stood up. It's something that happes and will continue to happen. Just get used to it and don't make a big deal about it when it happens. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev8 Posted July 2, 2022 Share Posted July 2, 2022 I remember one time for sure we went out and he was pretty rich, but I criticized him for having Xtina and Janet's worst albums as his favs and when we said bye, he didn't respond anymore funnily enough, he chatted me up several months later didn't respond back, but it was fun Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virtuesque Posted July 2, 2022 Share Posted July 2, 2022 Just as I convinced myself that he's my boyfriend (i.e., imagined), I can convince myself that he's trash and move on. Remind myself that I'm a beautiful soul; that sky daddy or Satan would give anything for it; and, no one would pay a penny for theirs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peroxide Posted July 2, 2022 Share Posted July 2, 2022 Yes. I’ve experienced both sides… I hurt after the first 2 or 3 times but after that I just became numb to it Its what you get for being a serial dater. Try not to take it personally… people are fickle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Slayne Posted July 2, 2022 Share Posted July 2, 2022 (edited) You have to accept that most people are terrible at being honest, dealing with their feelings, and communication. When you put yourself out there to date, there's always a risk that you will be stood up, rejected, ghosted, etc. It's a part of the game. It hurts, but there are healthy ways of dealing with it. If you two really had a connection but he ghosted out of nowhere then that's a reflection of who he is and how he perceived/valued your 'relationship'. Edit: If dating gets too intense for you maybe take a break once in a while and just focus on yourself. Find a hobby, spend some time with friends, go on a holiday. Men are really not worth you getting all sad over them. Edited July 2, 2022 by John Slayne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Topaz Posted July 2, 2022 Share Posted July 2, 2022 4 hours ago, TheShowoff said: Dont do that anymore. Its very cringe. Hell I just go on about my way. More fish in the sea. same never send a goodbye message to someone who aint putting the same effort into you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G.U.Y. Gaga Posted July 2, 2022 Share Posted July 2, 2022 Ghosting is just how it works now. Just have to get used to it if you look crazy lol trust me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katara Posted July 2, 2022 Share Posted July 2, 2022 Yes many gheys will ghost or ignore after you hit it up. It's just the anxiety and all trauma that have made many gheys incapable of deeper bonding and communication. They are terrified of love coz all their lives they have only known hatred and rejection from society so they project that back to other gheys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katara Posted July 2, 2022 Share Posted July 2, 2022 2 hours ago, Rev8 said: I remember one time for sure we went out and he was pretty rich, but I criticized him for having Xtina and Janet's worst albums as his favs and when we said bye, he didn't respond anymore funnily enough, he chatted me up several months later didn't respond back, but it was fun Yeah I experienced this too. Many guys who ghost initially will initiate contact after some months or years but by that point I am beyond moved on so it's my turn to ghost them back Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jynx672 Posted July 2, 2022 Author Share Posted July 2, 2022 3 hours ago, Topaz said: same never send a goodbye message to someone who aint putting the same effort into you Yeah you're right, but I didn't know how else to get closure. It's the first time I genuinely felt ghosted (I don't have much dating experience) so I had to get it off my chest. Next time I'll be able to spot it sooner at least so I can move on quicker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zasderfght Posted July 2, 2022 Share Posted July 2, 2022 10 hours ago, Jynx672 said: Do you have any ghosting experiences and how did you cope with it? A few weeks ago, I hit up this hot 43-year-old guy (so 16 years older than me) on PlanetRomeo, had a nice chat back and forth and then decided to meet up at his place. We had a great conversation over a drink and we then spent some time together in the bedroom. He knew just what I liked and even called me sensual (which no one had ever called me before). We continued talking on Whatsapp the next two weeks and as he kept sending me really sweet messages, I kinda became infatuated with him (butterflies in my stomach, etc.) which I had not really experienced before in that way. But after he agreed to meet up with me a second time, he just completely ghosted me, both on the day I wanted to meet and afterwards. I let it sit for a few days and then just decided to send him a goodbye message and removed his phone number and convos. Although it stings being ghosted by someone I thought I really connected with, I took it as a learning experience in that I should resist becoming infatuated with someone too quickly and take things much more slowly. It's been getting harder for me to separate sex from feelings as of late so I should probably just make my intentions clear before meeting up with guys who aren't looking for anything serious. Okay, so you're just two years older than me. Yeah, if a guy wants to have sex on the first date (or pretty early on), I'm not automatically saying that's a red flag, but it's not a green flag, either. Some useful tips as someone who has experienced ghosting and unfulfilling dates for quite some time: 1. Take your time with dating. Realize the guy you're dating now is probably not going to be your boyfriend/husband. This is why I don't compromise on these factors if I'm not serious with someone: -Keeping my dating apps. Unless we're mutually exclusive and in a relationship, you can jump ship any time. Am I not allowed to do the same? The apps will stay. And whoever I'm dating is none of your business, unless, like I said, we're mutually exclusive and in a relationship. I won't lie about seeing other people, but I sure as hell won't communicate that openly. -Not having sex/not meeting at his apartment early on. The minute a guy wants to take things to the apartment/bedroom, that's basically code for sex. I am not getting tested for STIs for a person that most likely isn't worthy of that doctor visit. Nope. -Over-sharing. I still am not the best at this, but even if you're feeling that butterfly-stomach-feeling from crushing, don't give whoever you're dating that benefit of the doubt. They could be talking to other men/dating other men. I know this might sound almost cynical and cold, but this is just the harsh reality of dating. Dating can certainly be fun! Meeting new people almost usually is, unless you were super unlucky and matched with an absolute creep, but that's really all it is... meeting new people. And we are still very young. I can probably count on one hand everyone I know from high school/college that is actually engaged and/or married. And those people who married young? Almost all of them are now divorced and with kids. Not shaming people's outcomes, but I just want to let you know even someone you think is your life partner might not even last. What's important to remember is you are the only constant in your life. But that's not such a bad thing! For future dates, you decide to steer the ship Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zasderfght Posted July 2, 2022 Share Posted July 2, 2022 (edited) 8 hours ago, AbeHicks said: Ghosting is just part of the game, just like being stood up. It's something that happes and will continue to happen. Just get used to it and don't make a big deal about it when it happens. This 100%. I will also not lie and pretend like I'm perfect. I've ghosted myself, and I have also stood someone up. I did apologize, though-- I truly mixed up the dates! And the guy was surprisingly understanding. But yeah, ghosting is not something to take personal. It has everything to do with the person. At least I can speak from my experience from ghosting people. I don't think anyone was truly unbearable-- we just weren't compatible. Edited July 2, 2022 by zasderfght Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miracle Posted July 3, 2022 Share Posted July 3, 2022 On 7/2/2022 at 9:02 AM, Allday said: I'm ghosted every week by my boyfriend. For a girl with BPD i hate it but i'm so used to it now. why I legit just log into discord and pop on voice to get a respond from him. Come on BPD fam! I hate it, I absolutely hate it. People who ghost are cowards, I'd rather have an ugly truth than silence, it's really cruel and frustrating Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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