tournament Golden Hit: Season 1 📀 Congrats to 8thPrince and Jackson!! 🏆🏆

[Aurora]

1 hour ago, Remmy said:

You didn't lie! 

...although at the same time y'all went crazy for Flowerbloom and told me to keep it up soooo

 

"I’m very happy to hear that you’re going to try something personal for the final round… although now I’m starting to worry that this was sarcasm and we’re going to be made to read another of these"  I was not! Plus I have to continue my pattern  NSFW-SFW-NSFW-SFW-NSFW-SFW

For what it's worth, I think your submissions have been one of the most interesting aspects of this tournament for me as a judge, and I mean that in a good way. "Flowerbloom" was such a surprise, it was a risk done right, it was a sex bop with very clever lyricism, strong rhymes, and clicked so well with the elemental imagery aspect of that particular challenge. For me, the beauty of "Flowerbloom" wasn't necessarily the "shock factor" or the explicit language, but that it was still a well-written, technically sound submission that demonstrated great skill, technique, and inspiration—qualities which I feel your other sex bops have lacked. Where the first challenge elevated this style of writing, I don't feel the others did. If anything, I think there could have been some interesting results from the Studio Sessions and Queer Pride challenges, such as something in the vein of cupcakKe's bop "LGBT", with a more personal twist.

 

1 hour ago, Jackson said:

I felt that this was probably my most "emotional" song of the season, but perhaps that didn't come across. Basically my approach in writing this song was to tell the history of the Peshtigo fire in a way that would educate while emotionally engaging readers, which is why I chose to do it in first person and also why I only mentioned the other fire in the bridge (also I was already at 500+ words). I guess for my imagination's intended audience (an American that already knows about the Chicago Fire) they wouldn't need anything other than a passing mention, but I wasn't aware of how well-known either event was outside the US. I definitely appreciate hearing how the judges would have written my song but I stand by how I approached the challenge and hopefully this explains my thought process a bit

 

 

My song's about the Peshtigo Fire, which is the deadliest wildfire in human history, which happened on the same day as the much more famous Great Chicago Fire. I've never heard of either of those London fires though, so maybe fires are just generally a region-specific thing 

"Reykjavik" was your most emotional song.  Emotions can be positive too, you know! (I'm looking at all of y'all who submitted doom and gloom for the Historical challenge and not a single one of you wrote about a positive historical event ) I got a very strong emotional response from that song—that's not to say I didn't get one from your latest offering, but it wasn't as strong simply because it wasn't you and your experience. We know your songwriting ability and you don't need to adhere to any advice you're given, and if the song is exactly how you want it to be I don't think either fountain or I would suggest you write it any other way. Ultimately we're just here to share our thoughts and our initial responses to each submission and while they may not always align with your desired response, moments like these do show that our personal circumstances can absolutely impact our opinions of others' and even our own works, and that's okay.

[Remmy]

1 hour ago, Aurora said:

For what it's worth, I think your submissions have been one of the most interesting aspects of this tournament for me as a judge, and I mean that in a good way. "Flowerbloom" was such a surprise, it was a risk done right, it was a sex bop with very clever lyricism, strong rhymes, and clicked so well with the elemental imagery aspect of that particular challenge. For me, the beauty of "Flowerbloom" wasn't necessarily the "shock factor" or the explicit language, but that it was still a well-written, technically sound submission that demonstrated great skill, technique, and inspiration—qualities which I feel your other sex bops have lacked. Where the first challenge elevated this style of writing, I don't feel the others did. If anything, I think there could have been some interesting results from the Studio Sessions and Queer Pride challenges, such as something in the vein of cupcakKe's bop "LGBT", with a more personal twist.

Oh, so what you're saying is I suck & you want me to log off of ATRL and never return?

 

 

 

 

Just kidding  Yeah I feel you

[Jackson]

2 hours ago, hurricane326 said:

OMFG are you a disaster fanatic like me? I've LEGIT never met someone who knows about the Peshtigo Fire. Wisconsin got hit hard. 

 

Fun fact - there were also fires in Upper Michigan along the shores of Lake Huron the night of October 9

does that explain your username?  i knew a little about those other fires that occurred that day but writing the song allowed me to research a lot more and it’s really so intriguing. the midwest never has wildfires of that magnitude today and the fact they all happened in one day is

 

1 hour ago, Aurora said:

"Reykjavik" was your most emotional song.

Reykjavik is definitely an emotional song, but the emotions were slightly more muted there where this song had a variety of more intense emotions for me 

[Aurora]

Bike Lane compared to @Jackson's other songs:

 

 

[Jackson]

1 hour ago, Aurora said:

Ultimately we're just here to share our thoughts and our initial responses to each submission and while they may not always align with your desired response, moments like these do show that our personal circumstances can absolutely impact our opinions of others' and even our own works, and that's okay

also, obviously i have no problem with any of this. i likely wouldn’t have put my songs in first place any of the past three weeks either, and i’d have no problem if my song came last this week. it seems like a lot of players this week didn’t write exactly what the judges had anticipated, so maybe it would be cute to see the judges interpretations of their own challenges  ultimately i think it’s great that our perceptions of the challenges are all different and hopefully we see some new names on top this week 

[Jackson]

Just now, hurricane326 said:

I was born in Mobile, Alabama, and I have memories of Hurricane Katrina. When we moved to Syracuse, NY I started to get really into meteorology and natural/manmade disasters, mainly tropical cyclones.

 

You didn't answer my question though - are you a disaster fanatic 

 

Please say yes so I'm not alone

 

 

 

i’m a history fanatic overall, but disasters are definitely one of the more interesting sub-categories of history. i’ve never lived by the coast, though, so i’ve only experienced wildfires and earthquakes 

 

tbh i didn’t even think about it while writing this song (although maybe subconsciously?) but i experienced two wildfires when i lived in colorado and they were both pretty terrifying

[Hug]

Omg @fountainNGL I was going for the spider being "fate", spinning its web, with the web being "the weave" everyone is trapped in, and as a nod to the first line of the song. I...legit didn't even consider her armor looking spider-like, but thank you for adding depth to my admittedly shallow cover choice. Also glad to see an overall positive review! (and an appreciation for my mirror joke shshsh I had a now scrapped joke about nobody listening to anything I had to say and me effectively talking to myself, but I felt the mirror joke was similar and was more effectively executed.)

 

Oh, and fun fact: I beat the game I took inspiration from a few hours ago! What a great game. ????

 

 

[diamondsky]

7 hours ago, Aurora said:

17. @☆lex - “A Long Night In May”

Not you submitting this absolute showstopper of an entry at the last minute. I love how organically this title came to you, and it’s such a perfect fit. Technically the fourth verse doesn’t really fit the challenge, but it’s not actually an issue because the challenge criteria was already met with the first two verses and it serves as a great natural progression. I’m just going to be completely candid, your submissions have been such a rollercoaster for me throughout this tournament—you’ve consistently teetered between the top seven and bottom seven of my rankings each round, but this round you’re definitely going to be in the top. This is absolutely my favourite submission from you thus far. It’s a great fit for the challenge, it’s well-written, thought-provoking, displays excellent storytelling, and has a powerful message proclaimed respectfully. My only qualm would be—in order to remain consistent with Jackson and Prisoner’s reviews—utilising a first person approach to self-insert into a real tragedy may not have been the best option, but similarly to the others at least you handled it with tact.

Thank you omg  I feel the same way about my submissions as you do nnn they’ve been all over the place. 

 

5 hours ago, fountain said:

@☆lex - A Long Night in May

(Historical Challenge)

Oh wow, oh wow. I can’t believe you nearly didn’t submit this! What a powerful anti-authoritarian protest song, I think you’ve perfectly embraced the historical challenge by being inspired by two events that share a theme and link, and not only that but have brought it into the modern day and provided a really strong and moving commentary on how things, unfortunately, have not changed. It’s a very powerful statement piece, and I’m extremely impressed. You’ve had plenty of strong entries so far, but I have to say I think this is your best; this truly went further and was so full of depth and message, it was fantastic to read and see the argument and picture that you have painted here, bringing together 3 separate times but providing a touching look into how they reflect each other, even as far as all taking place in May, and demonstrate the importance of fighting for freedom and how those in power will go to extremes against this, was fantastic and incredibly compelling. Just a really, really wonderful job. You should absolutely be proud of this and I'm so glad that you finished it and submitted.

Thank you, wow  I’m glad you tagged me last minute that I could still submit

Edited June 19, 2022 by ☆lex

[Euterpe]

@fountain Thank you for the review! I knew it would be a risk to send a shorter song and that I could get a lot lower of a score, but I didn’t want to compromise my vision of the song reflecting the flight and the emotional response that might go with it. 

[RobDeWittBukater]

On 6/18/2022 at 8:49 AM, Aurora said:

 

 

6. @RobDeWittBukater - “Lovers in June”
The aesthetic of the cover art has captured my attention right away! As always though, I like to start with the lyrics first and foremost and then progress to the supporting elements. I really enjoyed this song, it felt like a fully-realised summer pop track with substance and gorgeous imagery. Its vibe reminded me a little bit of a song I wrote a while back titled “Celestial”. The instrumental you’ve chosen feels very fitting for this song, too. The music video treatment is next level, wow! (Although I do wonder why it says 2020 on the graphic. :eli:) As far as fitting the challenge criteria of lyrics inspired by some kind of visual medium, I’m honestly not sure if it nails the brief. It does feel like a very, very slight nod to the folktale you mentioned in the background, but even that in itself isn’t really what the challenge was asking for. That said, I did enjoy the song itself. “Sunny skies / In your eyes / They’re a glimpse of paradise” was a fun popalicious moment, and was a good submission overall.

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1. @hurricane326 - “Foothills”
Loving this title and cover artwork, very nice aesthetic (unlike the red text—that was just to highlight the parts meant to be edited, you could have changed it Back_to_Black.mp3). I loved The Hunger Games’ series so much, and co-wrote a song loosely inspired by events in the first film about a year ago! I think writing from Gale’s perspective is a refreshing take since the obvious angle would be Katniss’ or perhaps even Snow’s given the forthcoming new film. This really was a beautiful piece all around even without knowing the inspiration, the imagery of the pines and the birds and the cries for freedom were conveyed so well. The entire penultimate verse was honestly flawless and is easily my favourite piece of writing you’ve submitted in this tournament. Not you purchasing an instrumental for this, we- I would say that was unnecessary, but the instrumental you’ve curated for this honestly feels perfect too, and I enjoyed your proposed music video concept and felt it would make a fantastic visual for the song. I could honestly see this scoring a placement on the upcoming Hunger Games’ spinoff soundtrack. Lovely work.

2. @Hug - “Maid of Windemere”
We stan a self-written and self-produced masterpiece. I read the lyrics standalone first and I was already loving what I was seeing, but then you hit me with the music video, the effort. To cut straight to the point, this exceeded my expectations of what I was hoping for in this challenge honestly. It’s clear that so much effort and research has gone into this song, care into the actual lyrics, making your own instrumental and music video, and yet you were still one of the first to submit? (Technically first with hurricane’s usual resubs). I like how you integrated language and references from the actual game without it feeling shoehorned or out of place, it really fit the vibe of the song naturally. I love the whole “weaving the tapestry of fate” angle and changing one’s destiny. “This tragedy’s the only play I’ve ever known / Yet you exist outside of all that fate has sewn” was honestly killer. This is easily my favourite submission of yours in this tournament thus far… your “Drowned in Neon” repeak moment is imminent I fear.

3. @DatChickDoe - “Black Rain”
I think you’ve selected a strong source event that was perfect for this challenge, but this was surprisingly concise. When dealing with such difficult themes it’s important to display a sense of tact, as you did with your prior song “Days Spill On Like Blood”, which was in my top three. At times it didn’t feel like you’d given yourself enough time to really delve into this issue beyond referring to a selection of facts about the historical event in question. The second verse particularly reads more like a rhyming stat list rather than the emotive opportunity that it should have been. I’m also not entirely convinced by lyrics such as, “No one could have envisioned this,” or, “There was a price no one knew,” which almost deflects some of the blame or responsibility from those responsible, or reducing the event to a “dangerous game”. I’m sure your heart was in the right place, but I would have liked to see this song approached from a completely different angle that focused on the emotional response, and acknowledged the terrible nature of this tragedy in a more lyrically profound manner.

4. @Better Mistakes - “Watch The World Burn”
Straight to the point, the intro and outro served no purpose, delete it fat. The plot twist in the other information, I actually was trying to figure out the subject (“she”) of the song and was thinking, “Could it be Anne Frank?”, and then I thought the “she” was Mother Nature which I was also kind of down for, although I wasn't sure if the (ongoing) climate crisis was an apt fit for the challenge, so good to know my initial thoughts weren’t mistaken! Given the intended historic inspiration for the song, I do think it’s a little light on the specifics that made Nazi Germany during WWII such a historically significant event. I actually think conceptually you have something really fascinating with the angle of a German against their own country’s decisions, but it didn’t come through in the song’s lyrics as strongly as it perhaps could have. “Our tears don’t stop the sound / Of the innocent hurt,” was my favourite couplet in the song, and fits the vibe of your concept very well.

5. @Euterpe - “Seven Stripes”
I honestly wasn’t familiar with this particular historical event, but it’s definitely an appropriate fit for this challenge. Contrary to what my reviews throughout this season may suggest, I actually don’t mind shorter songs when it’s clear care and thought has been meticulously placed into each lyric and it still packs a punch—I do believe this is the case with your song. The reason for this song being so short was very meta, and honestly with the expanding chorus and such it honestly didn’t feel all that short anyway. The capitalisation of groupthink did throw me off a little initially, but that’s only a very minor thing. I liked the countdowns between sections, a nice touch that actually aided your song! I think the final line of the new chorus was probably a bit unnecessary and could have been handled with a little bit more grace, but it certainly did get the point across. This was a pretty unexpected submission from you and deviates from what I’d consider your unique style quite a bit, but I rather enjoyed it.

6. @RobDeWittBukater - “Lovers in June”
The aesthetic of the cover art has captured my attention right away! As always though, I like to start with the lyrics first and foremost and then progress to the supporting elements. I really enjoyed this song, it felt like a fully-realised summer pop track with substance and gorgeous imagery. Its vibe reminded me a little bit of a song I wrote a while back titled “Celestial”. The instrumental you’ve chosen feels very fitting for this song, too. The music video treatment is next level, wow! (Although I do wonder why it says 2020 on the graphic. :eli:) As far as fitting the challenge criteria of lyrics inspired by some kind of visual medium, I’m honestly not sure if it nails the brief. It does feel like a very, very slight nod to the folktale you mentioned in the background, but even that in itself isn’t really what the challenge was asking for. That said, I did enjoy the song itself. “Sunny skies / In your eyes / They’re a glimpse of paradise” was a fun popalicious moment, and was a good submission overall.

7. @Julia Fox - “27”
This was a pretty unique take on the challenge, and while I do agree that the tragic death of stars such as the likes of Amy Winehouse could be considered historic events, Element did stipulate that the event in question should be prior to 1990. Amy’s passing was in 2011. Lemme pretending this song was about the birth and life of Amy, though. “I never lived long enough to learn how to live,” was a genuinely powerful moment and possibly my favourite lyric of yours in this entire tournament thus far. I think you addressed various potential emotions of Amy’s final days well… the longing for a life pre-fame, the substance abuse to get through, being coerced by her management to go on etc. At times it feels like there was more focus put on the inclusion of these factoids than working them into thought-provoking or powerfully emotive lyrical moments (such as the one I highlighted earlier was), but overall I think this was handled fairly tactfully.

8. @EpicSongFan - “Frozen in Time”
Ooh, we have another short offering. I really enjoyed this piece. As I indicated in Euterpe’s review, shorter songs can be powerful when done right, and I think you have done just that with this one. I read your lyrics standalone before looking to your inspiration, and part of me wished there had been some kind of chorus or central refrain element to tie things together. After learning about the background of the song however and watching the excerpt you linked, I agreed it didn’t really need that. You captured the emotions quite well, even down to the cover artwork, which is as brilliant as ever. The first two verses are set up so well, and the lyric, “I can’t move on from this endless guilt / I’ve knocked down the house we’ve built,” was wonderful. It was simple but effective, and I can tell that care has been put into each of these lyrics. A stellar offering from you.

9. @Jackson - “You Almost Knew My Name”
Not being American I hadn’t heard of either of these fires, but the foreword did set a pretty upsetting scene that we have unfortunately seen repeated throughout history (where more catastrophic events in developing countries are overshadowed by more minor tragedies in first world ones, for instance). It’d be remiss not to acknowledge that after back-to-back-to-back challenge wins there’s an expectation of greatness from you, and I will say you’ve delivered something great again. It had the metre-perfect style exhibited in songs like “Reykjavik”, yet thematically it felt more akin to “Bike Lane” with its social commentary and realistically unfortunate resolution. Overall, I find this song definitely fits somewhere between these two. There was a lot to praise about this entry, but I would rather comment on the few aspects I found less than perfect. Approaching this subject from a first person perspective rather than third person was a particularly intriguing decision. While you handled it well, I feel some of the more upsetting themes of perishing children and family members would probably have been better represented from an outsider’s point of view. A few other choice nitpicks would be some lines deviating from the perfect metre or extended AAAA rhyme scheme (which was very impressive), and “shades of gray” obviously has other connotations. Overall, this is definitely my favourite of the historical submissions thus far and you’ve shone the spotlight on a long-overlooked tragedy in a respectable way.

10. @Achilles. - “Graveyard (Land of Opportunity)”
This felt like another deeply personal offering from you, and I feel like it ticked the boxes by subverting an idealistic American culture and embracing your own unique queer identity, experience, and culture. I do think it was an interesting choice coming directly after a round specifically focusing on that aspect and as a result it does feel a little same-y. This song thematically reminded me of one I wrote many moons ago titled “Guide the Way”, or more recently another titled “Confessions”, both touching on themes of small town life, isolation, and longing to leave (spoiler alert: I’m also still here!), so in many ways I can relate to this song a LOT. Song aside, if you are unhappy in your current situation, know you do have the power to change it if you want to. Sure, it may be cliché leaving a small town for the big city, but is subverting clichés really a fitting exchange for personal happiness? Back to your song, I think it was another decently solid offering from you and a nice first submission for the cultural appreciation challenge.

11. @Augmented - “Lost”

The Augmented glow up is well and truly here ladies and gentlemen! Not to dismiss your earlier submissions which were still strong, but these past two weeks have been wonderful for you (and us, for getting to read your submissions!) This feels like exactly what fountain would have been hoping to spawn from this challenge. It may not be the most technically perfectly written song at times, but conceptually and emotionally you hit this one out of the ballpark. I can somewhat tangentially relate to this, since a little known fact about me is that I’m actually half Scottish, yet unfortunately have very little connection to my Scottish heritage, have never been to Scotland, found it really hard to understand Scottish relatives growing up etc. and I feel very little connection to that side of me. Back to your song, I do feel you conveyed those ideas of personally feeling so detached from your culture, yet being judged as “too much” like that culture to be included in the one you actually identify with very well. This was another triumph for you.

 

12. @mxtthewdelrey - “No Train Out”

Okay I think it’s time to set you and Achilles. up on a date because y’all literally wrote the same song this week and it’d be so cute if Golden Hit could bring y’all together. Honestly, please read Achilles.’ review two paragraphs up, because I’d just be repeating myself, but pretty much everything applies here too. “Living in Wales but I’m the one wailing” was a cute unique moment. I look forward to seeing a refreshingly unique concept next week that I absolutely know you are capable of, however!
 

13. @Legend E - “Maria”

Not the Cultural Appreciation challenge turning into the Small Town Sorrow challenge, we- I honestly had no idea of your cultural background, so it was lovely to get to know you a little bit better through this challenge. I think this was a pretty interesting interpretation of the challenge, it began similarly to Achilles./mxtt’s entries yet expanded upon those feelings by showing both sides of longing to move out of the small town and also longing to move back in some ways, ultimately still struggling to find a place that you genuinely belong. I think that overarching theme of wanting to belong is what makes this particular song so special. Combine that with the distinct cultural references and the themes of loneliness and being torn between two worlds, and I fear you’re close to raising that “White Flag” again. This is definitely a stronger submission than what we’ve seen in recent rounds from you (although I don’t think your last offering was bad at all), and it was nice to see this more personal side of you, even if it wasn’t strictly speaking a song based on personal experiences.

 

14. @TruGemini - “Sweet Release”

Nawt the red text, I- see hurricane’s review! Also I know you had some trouble with the formatting which isn’t going to impact your score, but you really should have just written the lyrics in rather than redirecting to a separate document. Onto the lyrics, as usual your sense of rhyming is spectacular, I can see this fitting to your chosen instrumental perfectly. You’ve selected a pretty interesting source of inspiration I find, especially coming off the Queer Pride challenge just last round, but I realise that was intentional seeing as you missed that one. Honestly I have to give you mad props, I thought you were mildly insane for potentially taking on all three challenges in one song (although it definitely was possible), but the fact that you integrated the Queer Pride challenge into it also AND somehow made all four work is commendable. I like that you’ve even acknowledged the potentially controversial or uncomfortable message/implications of the song and that shows tremendous strength as a writer. I can see it being a controversial addition, but I personally love the staggered delivery in the choruses which juxtapose the longer line lengths in the verses. This is easily my favourite offering of yours thus far, and I think all of the effort that has gone into it has definitely paid off.
 

15. @Remmy - “Scary Movie”

Screaming at “A. Roarrah”, serving Red Rose Records’ A&R Alistair Theodore "A.T." Arelle. Let’s start off with the lyrics, as usual. Well. Where do I even begin? I had a feeling we were in for another sextacular bop given your pattern of sex-bop-political-bop, but I really wasn’t anticipating this. Respectfully, I think you channelled “Scary Movie” a bit too well, because this honestly reads like a parody compared to your other R-rated tracks I’m afraid. There was far more cringe and revolt here than there were witty setups and punchlines, and referencing a bunch of scary movie scenes and characters wasn’t always inventive enough to make for a good lyric (although “Vacation to the Mountains, ended with a Broke Back” did get a chuckle out of me). It wasn’t really a major part of the score—and you can call me a prude—but the “second music video” honestly was extremely off putting to me. I’m not exactly personally familiar with female anatomy, but I’m pretty sure it doesn’t work like that. The instrumental you have selected would be perfect for this kind of song though. Perhaps all of the additional elements this challenge called for overwhelmed you, but I believe spending more time on the bars themselves and less on the second ridiculously unnecessary music video treatment would have gone a long, long way.
 

16. @Prisoner - “The Wind Spirit”

This definitely took me back to your first entry for this tournament, “Wind Chimes”, in a very good way. It had the same feeling to it, despite it being an entirely different song. This was the second song submitted about this particular historic event, and while I don’t wish to directly compare them, it’s hard not to acknowledge this fact. I enjoyed that I had to read your song at least twice to fully appreciate it, which I imagine was an intentional creative decision given the subtlety of the song until its final verse. Similarly to Jackson’s song, taking a first person approach was definitely a risky and interesting decision, but I think it worked to your advantage in this song being the personification of an inanimate object, all the while highlighting the catastrophic nature of such an object’s creation. While I still consider “Wind Chimes” to be one of your best works, this is definitely trending in the right direction for me, and I thoroughly enjoyed this.
 

17. @☆lex - “A Long Night In May”

Not you submitting this absolute showstopper of an entry at the last minute. I love how organically this title came to you, and it’s such a perfect fit. Technically the fourth verse doesn’t really fit the challenge, but it’s not actually an issue because the challenge criteria was already met with the first two verses and it serves as a great natural progression. I’m just going to be completely candid, your submissions have been such a rollercoaster for me throughout this tournament—you’ve consistently teetered between the top seven and bottom seven of my rankings each round, but this round you’re definitely going to be in the top. This is absolutely my favourite submission from you thus far. It’s a great fit for the challenge, it’s well-written, thought-provoking, displays excellent storytelling, and has a powerful message proclaimed respectfully. My only qualm would be—in order to remain consistent with Jackson and Prisoner’s reviews—utilising a first person approach to self-insert into a real tragedy may not have been the best option, but similarly to the others at least you handled it with tact.

 

18. @8thPrince - “Cherry”

I was super excited when I saw your early eagerness to take on this challenge, seeing as you’ve submitted elaborate concepts, cover art, and instrumentals in the past, and you didn’t disappoint! I was even anticipating anime to be your media inspiration.  As always I read the lyrics standalone first, and I liked the song. Structurally I found the way it only had one verse a bit odd, but given the second prechorus is different from the first, it didn’t feel like much of an issue. That prechorus is phenomenal by the way, especially the couplet, “Even if this moment’s fleeting, it still existed and had meaning / Like the afterglow of fading fireworks.” I then looked to your source of inspiration to get a bit more of a background, and I can definitely say that this is a song that is improved with the knowledge of the source material. This isn’t necessarily a negative, but it did help some of the more specific references pop, so to speak. One thing I learned while researching your inspiration is that the protag “Cherry” communicates with haikus, and I think it would have been an insanely meta idea to incorporate the use of haikus (even just one) into the song, and that felt like a huge missed opportunity. I know you weren’t writing from the perspective of Cherry, and had you done so that would have probably been an angle you may have gravitated toward, but I still think that would have been a special moment. Of course I have to acknowledge your instrumental also, which is a bop and feels like a perfect accompaniment to this piece.

Tysm for your detailed review as always!!

 

I approached this challenge with a very broad definition of "visual media" in mind, I actually read the folktale as a book in school. But I can see how it might not fit the challenge to a T.

 

As for the 2020 dates on the mv graphic, there's actually a little backstory to that: I originally planned to participate with Paris in a "Create an era"-type forum game where you get to create a full-fledged era with promo, visuals etc. But I never wound up joining the game, so the mv concept just kind of ended up collecting dust on my hard drive... until now, that is! Thanks to your multimedia challenge, the mv concept finally gets to serve a purpose 

9 hours ago, fountain said:

 

Round 5: The Judge’s Choice Challenges

 

@RobDeWittBukater - Lovers in June

(Multimedia Challenge)

Happy to see you back this round!

Right off the bat I thought this was interesting because Paris Jackson, a folktale from the middle ages, and a kpop instrumental are not things I would ever have paired together. The thing that I think this demonstrates is your creativity, I mean I would never have thought of something like this, yet it works very well! Comparing this to your last entry we saw which was the Britney song, even though you haven’t submitted since then I would still say that this entry shows huge growth particularly in the creativity and uniqueness of it. Also, kinda shocked you didn’t use this challenge as an opportunity to write a song about Titanic! The descriptions you have provided both in the composition of the song and in its video idea are both really well thought out and creative; ultimately I found your take on this challenge impressive, well worked on and ultimately fun to read! Lyrically I think your song is really well written and if I had to sum it up in a word I guess I’d say sparkly, it’s just such a light and pretty song; and I’m pretty certain it’s a bop, too. Overall I think you’ve done a really great job with this challenge, and once again I’m happy to see you back! 

This review put a smile on my face, tysm for all the wonderful feedback  

 

You are right indeed, making a song based upon either the historical accounts or the James Cameron retelling of the Titanic disaster would have been very "me" and also very appropriate for either the historical challenge or the multimedia challenge, but @hurricane326 has already written the definitive Titanic-inspired song for this season (all the way back in round 1!). And I can't compete where I don't compare, so 

 

I hope I'll be able to make time to submit for this week's challenge too, my schedule is a little crazy but darn it, with enough discipline I might be able to do it. Fingers crossed 

[fountain]

6 hours ago, Hug said:

Omg @fountainNGL I was going for the spider being "fate", spinning its web, with the web being "the weave" everyone is trapped in, and as a nod to the first line of the song. I...legit didn't even consider her armor looking spider-like, but thank you for adding depth to my admittedly shallow cover choice. Also glad to see an overall positive review! (and an appreciation for my mirror joke shshsh I had a now scrapped joke about nobody listening to anything I had to say and me effectively talking to myself, but I felt the mirror joke was similar and was more effectively executed.)

 

Oh, and fun fact: I beat the game I took inspiration from a few hours ago! What a great game. ????

 

 

For the multimedia songs I read the actual lyrics last so that’s why I was wondering where the spider was coming in originally, then I clicked play on your video and it made sense (beyond of course the lyrics later too), also the fact that you didn’t even notice another link between them really shows how layered your inspiration was  definitely a great interpretation of the challenge 

[fountain]

6 hours ago, ☆lex said:

Thank you, wow  I’m glad you tagged me last minute that I could still submit

Absolutely  how much of what you submitted did you already have done originally? 

[fountain]

2 hours ago, Euterpe said:

@fountain Thank you for the review! I knew it would be a risk to send a shorter song and that I could get a lot lower of a score, but I didn’t want to compromise my vision of the song reflecting the flight and the emotional response that might go with it. 

I didn’t mind it for this song since it definitely fit with the concept and the historical interpretation, it was a poignant choice but in general I also like to encourage everybody to write as much as they can as it gives more opportunity to show off their writing, which is why I still commented on it  but it has no overall effect on my score for you this round!

[fountain]

1 hour ago, RobDeWittBukater said:

This review put a smile on my face, tysm for all the wonderful feedback  

 

You are right indeed, making a song based upon either the historical accounts or the James Cameron retelling of the Titanic disaster would have been very "me" and also very appropriate for either the historical challenge or the multimedia challenge, but @hurricane326 has already written the definitive Titanic-inspired song for this season (all the way back in round 1!). And I can't compete where I don't compare, so 

 

I hope I'll be able to make time to submit for this week's challenge too, my schedule is a little crazy but darn it, with enough discipline I might be able to do it. Fingers crossed 

Aw good! Your song was very fun 

 

I wouldn’t have minded reading another Titanic song if you had wanted to do that, although I wasn’t expecting or hoping for that from you either, I just brought it up because it was funny. Also, don’t put yourself down like that 

 

Hopefully you’ll be able to since it’s the last round  I want to see more of your writing! But also if you aren’t able to I understand, and anyway, there’s always next season?

 

 

[DatChickDoe]

Good luck everyone. It was fun while it lasted 

[fountain]

So results originally were planned for tonight as usual, but now it’s pending. I have to wait until Aurora is awake for the decision to be made, but once we know I’ll update and confirm when results will be. 

[Remmy]

1 hour ago, fountain said:

So results originally were planned for tonight as usual, but now it’s pending. I have to wait until Aurora is awake for the decision to be made, but once we know I’ll update and confirm when results will be. 

alrighty :-)

[TruGemini]

Thanks both @fountain and @Aurora for the positive reviews! 
 

As you both could tell, this was a very un-nerving entry for me because of its message but I'm glad that you both enjoyed it, gives me a bit of a push to go outside of my comfort zone more often with my writing.

[fountain]

1 hour ago, TruGemini said:

Thanks both @fountain and @Aurora for the positive reviews! 
 

As you both could tell, this was a very un-nerving entry for me because of its message but I'm glad that you both enjoyed it, gives me a bit of a push to go outside of my comfort zone more often with my writing.

It absolutely paid off! So glad you tried this and hope you a proud of it

[diamondsky]

8 hours ago, fountain said:

Absolutely  how much of what you submitted did you already have done originally? 

The concept, reading up on the background, the chorus and some lines. I didn’t put it all together until the last minute 

[fountain]

Hello all you sweet songwriters  we’ll be starting the results for Round 5: The Judge’s Choice Challenges at 6:30 EDT, which is an hour from this post!

 

Hope you can be there 

 

@Hug @DatChickDoe @Better Mistakes @Euterpe @hurricane326 @RobDeWittBukater @Julia Fox @EpicSongFan @Jackson @Achilles. @Augmented @mxtthewdelrey @Legend E @TruGemini @Remmy @Prisoner @8thPrince @☆lex

[Hug]

Omg I will be here!!

 

 

[Aurora]

Rumour has it that these results are particularly spicy!

[fountain]

6 minutes ago, Hug said:

Omg I will be here!!

 

 

 

[Euterpe]

Ready for the rankings. Gonna have to lay down after them I’m sure.