MALAMENTE Posted May 9, 2022 Share Posted May 9, 2022 (edited) With it I mean having all the experiences that those years bring you: going out with friends, falling in love, experimenting in regards of love and sexuality… I do think it takes a toll on mental health later on in life. Edited May 9, 2022 by MALAMENTE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Next Day Posted May 9, 2022 Share Posted May 9, 2022 I think the expectations that you have to experience certain things by a certain age cause a lot of harm as well. What's important is that you're able to do what you want to do, not just what society expects people at your age usually do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Slayne Posted May 9, 2022 Share Posted May 9, 2022 no. i am a late bloomer (and from a small town) so it took me a while to experience certain things associated with 'teenage years'... which is fine, everyone moves through life at their own pace. i don't feel like i 'missed out' on anything i guess some things bothered me a little at the time but everything happens the way it is supposed to, i don't dwell on the past that much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RainDreamer Posted May 9, 2022 Share Posted May 9, 2022 I'm living proof of that, my high-school experience was so ****, sometimes I wish I'd dated girls in high school to fit in, at least I would've had a somewhat normal experience Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EtherealCat Posted May 9, 2022 Share Posted May 9, 2022 yes socialising is hugely important to our development Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ariananext Posted May 9, 2022 Share Posted May 9, 2022 1 hour ago, The Next Day said: I think the expectations that you have to experience certain things by a certain age cause a lot of harm as well. What's important is that you're able to do what you want to do, not just what society expects people at your age usually do. I agree but at the same time you do feel late when you're older and have no experience. Your teenage experiences teach you a lot about what you want to do later in your life, how to deal with relationships, friendships and in general things you're supposed to know as an adult. I have a 31 years old cousin who has no friends (they all got married), she has never dated anybody because she has a lot of trauma due to her abusive father, she's constantly sad and depressed because she's shy, naive and has done nothing in life compared to her peers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shelter Posted May 9, 2022 Share Posted May 9, 2022 Yes, yes it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subzero Posted May 9, 2022 Share Posted May 9, 2022 In some ways definitely, which is why most gays don't experience a lot of these things until our 20s and 30s, if at all, but at the same I think it's okay if we experience some of these things later in life, it doesn't have to be the same for everyone. Plus, it's best just to be thankful we get to experience these things at all, some people never get to unfortunately. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOOMBAYAH Posted May 9, 2022 Share Posted May 9, 2022 Yes, and you see it the most in gay young men who have been closeted most of their lives + young women who have strict parents. That said, I do think it only takes a few years of being free and having those experiences to heal, I think it's only super dangerous if you're like 27 and still living a repressed life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pxxxtrick Posted May 9, 2022 Share Posted May 9, 2022 100% yes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bad Decisions Posted May 9, 2022 Share Posted May 9, 2022 Honestly, yeah. I didn't have a great experience as a teenager. I didn't go on dates. I barely had friends. I basically had zero life experiences from that time for me to learn and grow from that I feel like it stunted me mentally as an adult. Part of it is my fault because I was so insecure and didn't put myself out there enough but also it was just a different time back then that I couldn't REALLY be myself to begin with. It is what it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beautiful player Posted May 9, 2022 Share Posted May 9, 2022 No... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoveInStereo Posted May 9, 2022 Share Posted May 9, 2022 "Proper" means different things to different people. The majority of people I know that have struggled with substance abuse drank as teens. I know people who have literally never drank and while they feel a little socially displaced, it's not as bad as having jaundice from alcoholism ******* with your liver & kidneys at 20 (a former friend of mine) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Next Day Posted May 9, 2022 Share Posted May 9, 2022 3 hours ago, ariananext said: I agree but at the same time you do feel late when you're older and have no experience. Your teenage experiences teach you a lot about what you want to do later in your life, how to deal with relationships, friendships and in general things you're supposed to know as an adult. I have a 31 years old cousin who has no friends (they all got married), she has never dated anybody because she has a lot of trauma due to her abusive father, she's constantly sad and depressed because she's shy, naive and has done nothing in life compared to her peers. First paragraph I agree to a certain extent. You'll only know who you are when you get to know other people. But at the same I've known too many people who are "enjoying life to the fullest" (you know, the usual live, love, laugh stuff) but are totally lost in life as well. Experience is important, but it's more about the quality and if you actually want to grow from it. That beats quantity and just doing whatever because other people are doing it. Having trauma has nothing to do with this tho. I'm not referring to people who have that or any other illness like extreme anxiety. Their objective should be getting healthy first and foremost and not comparing themselves to other healthy people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirrtydiana Posted May 9, 2022 Share Posted May 9, 2022 Do we really need to ask? Look at all the celebrities we stan on this forum who didn’t have child/teenhoods Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karron0624 Posted May 9, 2022 Share Posted May 9, 2022 It doesnt. I was 15 in college, had first relationship at 19, had sex for the first time at 24, and now getting married at 28. The reason why is: 1. While I’m sex positive, I was never one of those people who had to “**** everyone and go through a hoe phase.” I got someone open minded who was willing to try things and experiment with me, and he ends up being the person im going to marry. 2. I look forward. Yeah i could be upset i was not sneaking into clubs, having fake ids, etc. with friends, or whatever. But why is something that could have happened 10-14 years important at this point. Im old enough to legally go in a club, buy any alcohol i want, and i have money. Plus im confident and will go dance on the dance floor by myself, and not feel subconscious about anything. Its why whenever yall make comments about “over 25,” it more seem like a waste to go out partying, buying fakes, and sneaking around when you’re broke. It seams we glorify and condemn the wrong things. All that to say is, dont make yourself peak in highschool, low 20s. You should constantly be peaking and repeaking throughout life. If you’re too busy looking back, you aren’t repeaking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cOe Posted May 9, 2022 Share Posted May 9, 2022 I'm just having all these experiences most people had in their teens in my mid 20s so yeah kind of. I used to feel they're never going to happen for a long time and it was painfu Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ariananext Posted May 9, 2022 Share Posted May 9, 2022 5 hours ago, The Next Day said: First paragraph I agree to a certain extent. You'll only know who you are when you get to know other people. But at the same I've known too many people who are "enjoying life to the fullest" (you know, the usual live, love, laugh stuff) but are totally lost in life as well. Experience is important, but it's more about the quality and if you actually want to grow from it. That beats quantity and just doing whatever because other people are doing it. Having trauma has nothing to do with this tho. I'm not referring to people who have that or any other illness like extreme anxiety. Their objective should be getting healthy first and foremost and not comparing themselves to other healthy people. Oh of course, I agree about everything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AbeHicks Posted May 9, 2022 Share Posted May 9, 2022 2 hours ago, karron0624 said: It doesnt. I was 15 in college, had first relationship at 19, had sex for the first time at 24, and now getting married at 28. The reason why is: 1. While I’m sex positive, I was never one of those people who had to “**** everyone and go through a hoe phase.” I got someone open minded who was willing to try things and experiment with me, and he ends up being the person im going to marry. 2. I look forward. Yeah i could be upset i was not sneaking into clubs, having fake ids, etc. with friends, or whatever. But why is something that could have happened 10-14 years important at this point. Im old enough to legally go in a club, buy any alcohol i want, and i have money. Plus im confident and will go dance on the dance floor by myself, and not feel subconscious about anything. Its why whenever yall make comments about “over 25,” it more seem like a waste to go out partying, buying fakes, and sneaking around when you’re broke. It seams we glorify and condemn the wrong things. All that to say is, dont make yourself peak in highschool, low 20s. You should constantly be peaking and repeaking throughout life. If you’re too busy looking back, you aren’t repeaking. Sis, you will have a mid-life crisis in your early 40's because you didn't do those things when you were supposed to... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karron0624 Posted May 9, 2022 Share Posted May 9, 2022 1 hour ago, AbeHicks said: Sis, you will have a mid-life crisis in your early 40's because you didn't do those things when you were supposed to... Nah ill be fine. Ill have a midlife crisis about paying for my kids to go to college though if it isnt free by then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RunUpDoneUp Posted May 10, 2022 Share Posted May 10, 2022 YES. The lgbt+ community is largely filled with damaged people living out their teenage longings and immature hennies acting fractions of their age. We don't have much interest from sociologists to map it sufficiently but god, there's so much more to name and treat in our group. For some, our tastes, dating habits and characters are directly tied to having and or not having the ability to be teens at all. The trans gurlies are even more screwed there, they get denied it wholesale usually. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alldeezy Posted May 12, 2022 Share Posted May 12, 2022 mostly childhood... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Jacobs Posted May 12, 2022 Share Posted May 12, 2022 most def.. having best friends/going to house parties/having romances/heartbreaks def shapes you imo.. i had the most amazing highschool experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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