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Why do guys switch up so quick?


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Posted
56 minutes ago, arceus said:

The illusion of choice tbh. People think they have infinite number of choices just because Grindr exists. 

Oop! This is very well put in very few words and sums it up. 

Posted
3 hours ago, John Slayne said:

some of them like to give you the hot and cold experience like katy perry

 

i hate it, and it's one of the reasons why i've been feeling exhausted by dating lately. wasting my youth away to men who aren't worth it :'(

 

we need to stay strong sis, the right man will show himself eventually!

I wasted more than my youth with these types of men and still single 

 

It actually doesn't even get easier when u age

Posted
1 hour ago, Protocol said:

You are probably going out with guys who are a bit hotter than you and this is why it keeps happening. The fundmanetal problem is an attempt to maximize the hotness of the guy you're ******* or dating that most gays engage in. On gay apps, most people are aiming for the hottest guy they think they can get. So 7s try to get 8s and 9s, and might ghost or put on hold a 6 or 7. The 8s and 9s usually only want each other, or get very specific about what they want. 5s try to aim for 6s and 7s, while putting their fellow 5s on hold, and so on. Top/Bottom also changes the dynamic. Usually the hotness requirement is higher for the bottom. Not uncommon to see 6/7 tops hooking up with 8 bottoms, but rare the other way around. I would love to see data analysis from gay dating apps. I bet you could categorize people into a 1-10 scale based on how often they get messaged by people who also get messaged a lot, and it would probably match up very closely with large numbers of gays ranking them from 1-10 based on hotness (notice I say hotness, not looks, since face, body, *****, ass, etc., even profession sometimes like being a cop or military can all contribute).

 

But here's the trick: if you aim for someone slightly lower on the traditional hotness scale than yourself, it's much more likely to be a normal nice responsive situation rather than ghosting and being vague and unresponsive and not knowing if he will see you again. But you've got to make sure you're geniunely into them as well otherwise you will be unsatisfied.

Thats a good analysis but i would say bottoms are just less picky cause they look for a dick more than anything (when hooking up) A top with a small dick is very offputting for most bottoms no matter how hot the guy is 

 

Im talking about gay apps of course if you want one of those idyllic monogamous straight-like relationships that you see in movies and you are a gay man... You are doomed. We men are not programmed for that...

Posted

men just love to ghost for whatever reason

Posted
2 hours ago, Insanity said:

I wasted more than my youth with these types of men and still single 

 

It actually doesn't even get easier when u age


 

There’s honestly no way to win

 

i always decide I’m going to close myself off and not talk to any guys and then I foolishly believe someone is genuinely into me or that it’ll be different :clown:  and then leave me wondering what I did wrong when I’m literally just replying to what they’re saying and following their lead (because I’m too scared from past experiences to be “too much”)

Posted
8 hours ago, thatsmydemi said:

From my experience, they do this either when they've met someone they consider hotter OR when things seem to be going too serious for them to handle 

:cm:  Basically this. And neither of these things have anything to do with you. It’s all on them. Keep your head up.

Posted

It’s a goal that’s been achieved, so you’re not a goal to reach anymore.

 

What I understood about relationships or men to worship me, I play push and pull game, where I’m all over them then not, also loving yourself to the point it irks them helps.

 

People only care for people who care about themselves. 

Posted
3 hours ago, Oxy said:

It’s a goal that’s been achieved, so you’re not a goal to reach anymore.

 

What I understood about relationships or men to worship me, I play push and pull game, where I’m all over them then not, also loving yourself to the point it irks them helps.

 

People only care for people who care about themselves. 

You sound super toxic and this is a horrible way to treat people tbh!

Posted (edited)

People do this when they realise that they don't really have much in common with you and/or due to lack of compatibility. When you find yourself making more effort than the other, it's time to reevaluate your relationship with that person. 

 

With the right person, the rapport is much more natural and you're likely to find yourself being v much equally into each other. Little to no effort when it comes to holding a convo, hanging out, etc.

Edited by Kiel D-01
Posted
18 hours ago, Ampersand13 said:

Men, and of course I’m generalizing here, straight and queer have been conditioned in a lot of ways to reject emotional vulnerability and authenticity. They may reach a threshold that feels comfortable and the second that gets reciprocated by a partner it can cause discomfort and anxiety. So, instead of dealing with those emotions and communicating they flee. Again, this isn’t true of all men or all cases of hot and cold like attention, but I’ve definitely had several experiences like this and have been the perpetrator on more than one occasion. 

Tea

Posted
6 hours ago, Protocol said:

You sound super toxic and this is a horrible way to treat people tbh!

I’m not toxic my dear snowflake, I’m just playing the game that their doing. 
 

*** boys are the majority so I’m protecting my heart and my mental health from them.

 

Tell me how is your relationship record? 

Posted
4 hours ago, Oxy said:

I’m not toxic my dear snowflake, I’m just playing the game that their doing. 
 

*** boys are the majority so I’m protecting my heart and my mental health from them.

 

Tell me how is your relationship record? 

Been with my husband for 9 years

Posted
6 hours ago, Protocol said:

Been with my husband for 9 years

Get her

Posted

Don't chase, don't beg, do you and the law of attraction will pull to you whatever it is your desires, at the right time of course.

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