Into The Void Posted April 20, 2022 Posted April 20, 2022 9 hours ago, BGXKB said: Then you shouldn’t have a problem? well good
fais_2311 Posted April 20, 2022 Posted April 20, 2022 I guess not everyone can be femme and be confident and happy about it so they chose to project hates against the femmes. Awww get another hobby sweetie
duybeeGAshantiGA Posted April 20, 2022 Posted April 20, 2022 6 hours ago, Robyn. said: I think it all depends on where that user comes from too, or his cultural background. It's not right to shame someone for being fem especially if it's your partner because YOU chose him, but I can also understand why he'd feel "at risk" being out in public with someone that could potentially expose him as gay if he comes from a strict cultural background or a non gay-friendly place. If he behaves like that behind closed doors and not solely in public then it makes ZERO sense as to why they're together in the first place. This exactly. Thank you for understanding. I know I am still in the wrong but him sometimes acting too feminine makes me uncomfy when there are people around. like it's really awkward when he suddenly dances in a feme way in the gym ... We live in a not-so-developed country so people still discriminate against gays here..
John Slayne Posted April 20, 2022 Posted April 20, 2022 right? it's like hunny you have an account on ATRL, you're just as ghey as everyone else on here...
John Slayne Posted April 20, 2022 Posted April 20, 2022 3 hours ago, duybeeGAshantiGA said: This exactly. Thank you for understanding. I know I am still in the wrong but him sometimes acting too feminine makes me uncomfy when there are people around. like it's really awkward when he suddenly dances in a feme way in the gym ... We live in a not-so-developed country so people still discriminate against gays here.. I understand your concern, but that's your partner. If you are not willing to accept him the way he is and stand up for him/claim him as your partner proudly, then maybe you shouldn't be with him if you can't handle it. He deserves better.
duybeeGAshantiGA Posted April 20, 2022 Posted April 20, 2022 (edited) 5 hours ago, John Slayne said: I understand your concern, but that's your partner. If you are not willing to accept him the way he is and stand up for him/claim him as your partner proudly, then maybe you shouldn't be with him if you can't handle it. He deserves better. It's not always that easy. Life isnt always the way we want it. I mean, we cant just disregard something immediately when something doesn't work. Why not try to make it work first? I sometimes dont get this mentality: "shouldnt be with someone", "that person deserves better" when there is a struggle. I know we dont know how other people feel and their situation if we are not in their shoes. I am not trying to criticise or anything, just saying that there must be something about me that makes him stay. I am not perfect, but just because I feel uncomfy when he acts too girly/feminine in the public/ in the gym, and we should break up. I dont believe in that. There are much more than that in a relationship. Edited April 20, 2022 by duybeeGAshantiGA
John Slayne Posted April 21, 2022 Posted April 21, 2022 10 hours ago, duybeeGAshantiGA said: It's not always that easy. Life isnt always the way we want it. I mean, we cant just disregard something immediately when something doesn't work. Why not try to make it work first? I sometimes dont get this mentality: "shouldnt be with someone", "that person deserves better" when there is a struggle. I know we dont know how other people feel and their situation if we are not in their shoes. I am not trying to criticise or anything, just saying that there must be something about me that makes him stay. I am not perfect, but just because I feel uncomfy when he acts too girly/feminine in the public/ in the gym, and we should break up. I dont believe in that. There are much more than that in a relationship. But this isn't some petty argument you're having with your partner. You are not willing to accept your partner for who they are in front of others. Fix it or leave. I did not mean my comment as a personal attack and I know nobody's perfect, but this is a pretty big deal. I am sorry, but actually not sorry, but yes your partner does deserve to be with someone who won't try to change them, especially in front of other people. Just because your partner doesn't see this as a deal breaker does not mean it's ok. Also, this isn't a relationship struggle, this is your struggle with your internalised homophobia. Your partner shouldn't be used as tool for you to work through your issues. I know this all sounds very harsh but that's just how I feel. Policing your partner's behaviour in public is just incredibly patronising, humiliating, and wrong. And living in a homophobic country is not an excuse. I grew up in one too but I would never in my life dare to tell my friends/dates to adjust their behaviour in public.
BGXKB Posted April 21, 2022 Author Posted April 21, 2022 I will say this I have clearly shared a lot about myself on here and to have that used against me in the weirdest ways is deeply disturbing. Some of you must just desperately wish that I would go away.
Protocol Posted April 21, 2022 Posted April 21, 2022 On 4/19/2022 at 7:34 PM, Jotham said: This is one of the most frustrating parts of the gay community for me. I'll always see people, for instance on Grindr, say that they're masculine or that they're only into masculine guys, and then you look at their social media and they're stanning pop girls 24/7. The ones who ask you if you’re masculine are always kweens 100% of the time. Actual masculine gays don’t give a ****.
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