duybeeGAshantiGA Posted April 20, 2022 Posted April 20, 2022 1 hour ago, L.B GAGA said: Thats heartbreaking and an abusive relationship I know thats wrong and Im trying to fix myself...
duybeeGAshantiGA Posted April 20, 2022 Posted April 20, 2022 1 hour ago, L.B GAGA said: Thats heartbreaking and an abusive relationship I know thats wrong and Im trying to fix myself...
BGXKB Posted April 20, 2022 Author Posted April 20, 2022 1 hour ago, KingJay said: You know what's crazy. I've actually been shamed by Fem guys for being too "ghetto/thug/gangster" wanna be. ONLY because I don't wear tight clothing. I've been turned down for being too masc & etc. It just goes to show you that no matter what position you're in, you're going to struggle some how. Because in my eyes, I feel like "Fem" guys have it easier than masc guys. I'm a bottom, and I'm always being told that I'm a waste of a gay because I should be a top. It's so annoying. & The amount of annoying bottoms that I come across that try to force me to be their top just because I'm more "masc/Straight" passing. It just makes me not even want to talk to any guys tbh. Literally where does this happen? Go on any gay dating app and tell me the ratio of the number of profiles that say “no fem” to “no masc”
duybeeGAshantiGA Posted April 20, 2022 Posted April 20, 2022 1 hour ago, L.B GAGA said: Thats heartbreaking and an abusive relationship I know thats wrong and Im trying to fix myself...
duybeeGAshantiGA Posted April 20, 2022 Posted April 20, 2022 1 hour ago, L.B GAGA said: Thats heartbreaking and an abusive relationship I know thats wrong and Im trying to fix myself...
duybeeGAshantiGA Posted April 20, 2022 Posted April 20, 2022 Can we delete posts? I hate ATRL's ****** server.
Mr. Blue_Shirt Posted April 20, 2022 Posted April 20, 2022 ATRL has bunch of gay incels so I'm not surprised the would do this
Mr. Blue_Shirt Posted April 20, 2022 Posted April 20, 2022 2 hours ago, duybeeGAshantiGA said: I from time to time lowkey humilate my bf because he is femme. Like whenever he acts "femme" I would say "now look at you, can you man-up a bit" or "can you stop acting too femme we are in public" .. something like that If you can talk openly about this, i wonder how bad it was behind close door
duybeeGAshantiGA Posted April 20, 2022 Posted April 20, 2022 20 minutes ago, Mr. Blue_Shirt said: If you can talk openly about this, i wonder how bad it was behind close door The only reason I can talk openly about it is not bcuz Im proud, but because I know it's wrong and I want to fully admit my fault and want to fix it.
Totami Legend Posted April 20, 2022 Posted April 20, 2022 This whole conversation about masc and femme guys is just embarrassing, gays are a mess and I’m Sick of them both
Mr. Blue_Shirt Posted April 20, 2022 Posted April 20, 2022 2 minutes ago, duybeeGAshantiGA said: The only reason I can talk openly about it is not bcuz Im proud, but because I know it's wrong and I want to fully admit my fault and want to fix it. I'm not saying you were proud of it. When you talked about how how sh*tty you were by making fun of your bf for being feminine and giving some examples, i wonder how bad the other insults towards bf were behind close door. That's all.
L.B GAGA Posted April 20, 2022 Posted April 20, 2022 (edited) 29 minutes ago, duybeeGAshantiGA said: The only reason I can talk openly about it is not bcuz Im proud, but because I know it's wrong and I want to fully admit my fault and want to fix it. Its good you are admitting fault. Fem gays are usually looked down upon and devalued. The same movement that fought for the fight against womens domestic violence and gender equality, fought such similar issues. Where women are abused, looked down upon and with the wrong man it gets worse. This gender issue is intersectional to the point it applies to trans women and gay fem men. For women society has made conventions and laws to fight the same, society frowns upon it but for trans women and fem men, no one cares as they are randomly attacked,killed and sadly you are perpetuating the same violence to the voiceless and innocent. Hope you begin valuing your man, for who he is. They say, the man by your side can either grow you or break you. Dont kill his self esteem and self value(economic and social ambitions fail due to fear) Edited April 20, 2022 by L.B GAGA
Hallad173 Posted April 20, 2022 Posted April 20, 2022 4 hours ago, Taylucifer said: the femme shaming is being done by the femme gays
L.B GAGA Posted April 20, 2022 Posted April 20, 2022 2 minutes ago, Hallad173 said: Thats a lie. You cant state that, when we can see even on instagram most masc circuit gays avoid fem men unless its to look all pride friendly and gay club night out with drag queens. There is internalized femphobia also.
Hallad173 Posted April 20, 2022 Posted April 20, 2022 2 minutes ago, L.B GAGA said: Thats a lie. You cant state that, when we can see even on instagram most masc circuit gays avoid fem men unless its to look all pride friendly and gay club night out with drag queens. There is internalized femphobia also. Not a lie in the slightest? I’ve seen in action SEVERAL times in different cities. If it’s not your experience that’s fine, I won’t argue about what you’ve seen but Masc and fem can and do intermingle where I live and I’m not a circuit Queen so I’ll just take your word for all that.
Robyn. Posted April 20, 2022 Posted April 20, 2022 1 hour ago, Mr. Blue_Shirt said: I'm not saying you were proud of it. When you talked about how how sh*tty you were by making fun of your bf for being feminine and giving some examples, i wonder how bad the other insults towards bf were behind close door. That's all. I think it all depends on where that user comes from too, or his cultural background. It's not right to shame someone for being fem especially if it's your partner because YOU chose him, but I can also understand why he'd feel "at risk" being out in public with someone that could potentially expose him as gay if he comes from a strict cultural background or a non gay-friendly place. If he behaves like that behind closed doors and not solely in public then it makes ZERO sense as to why they're together in the first place.
Mr. Blue_Shirt Posted April 20, 2022 Posted April 20, 2022 4 minutes ago, Robyn. said: I think it all depends on where that user comes from too, or his cultural background. It's not right to shame someone for being fem especially if it's your partner because YOU chose him, but I can also understand why he'd feel "at risk" being out in public with someone that could potentially expose him as gay if he comes from a strict cultural background or a non gay-friendly place. If he behaves like that behind closed doors and not solely in public then it makes ZERO sense as to why they're together in the first place. I experienced it myself when my ex always make fun of me everytime i did something "girly" in public place when were together. I live in Indonesia so i get that the pressure because i have that too but it still sh*tty feeling that affect my self confidence even If he did it in joking way But it's good that the user knows that he's the wrong and trying to be better
BGXKB Posted April 20, 2022 Author Posted April 20, 2022 To me it’s less even just homophobia and more femmephobia. Both gay men and lesbian women covet what they call masculinity in complex ways. Femininity is usually looked down upon in both groups. It’s less fitting traditional gender norms and more fitting a specific norm of masculinity.
Before Today Posted April 20, 2022 Posted April 20, 2022 7 hours ago, Orsay said: There's a lot of gays who work really hard to convince themselves and everyone around them that they're masculine. Which can be fueled by homophobic parents, society at large, pressure to attract a boyfriend etc so I wouldn't villainise them too much. But I think that, for *some* of these guys, it upsets them to see someone fearlessly being themselves cause they don't have that themselves A reasonable answer
BGXKB Posted April 20, 2022 Author Posted April 20, 2022 (edited) 5 hours ago, duybeeGAshantiGA said: Can we delete posts? I hate ATRL's ****** server. If you click the period ellipsis in the top right corner of your post you should see an option to “Hide” it. Edited April 20, 2022 by BGXKB
Vespertine Posted April 20, 2022 Posted April 20, 2022 9 hours ago, Insanity said: What if my true self is str8 acting ? What i mean is im not femme at all and its not on purpose thats just my identity Every time I’ve heard someone claim to be “str8 acting,” “jock,” etc. they end up being the biggest limp-wristed lisping gals! It’s almost cute how silly and delusional the whole thing is
Into The Void Posted April 20, 2022 Posted April 20, 2022 26 minutes ago, Vespertine said: Every time I’ve heard someone claim to be “str8 acting,” “jock,” etc. they end up being the biggest limp-wristed lisping gals! It’s almost cute how silly and delusional the whole thing is im really not limp wristed or lisp but ok what is wrong with being gay and masc maybe sometimes a little on the femme side
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