discussion The Depression Lounge

[Jotham]

I really need a way out of my 9-5 job. I've only been here for three months and I already hate it. I was hoping things would get better but I feel like things are getting worse. But the pay is decent and I don't know what else to do so I feel trapped.

[Jotham]

How do people find the energy to go to work while they're depressed?

[Aethereal]

7 hours ago, Jotham said:

How do people find the energy to go to work while they're depressed?

If anything it helps me. But it kinda depends what type of depression you are having.

 

My depression is mostly caused by family problems and to a lesser extend loneliness. So working or college can distract you from depression and at least you can focus on bringing happy news by doing a good job in what you do.  

 

Does anyone here know if there is anything close to antidepressants WITHOUT doctor's prescription?

Edited February 1, 2023 by Aristotle

[Aethereal]

3 hours ago, Wizard said:

It may sound a bit pseudosciencey but I have read about some clinical trials for omega-3 supplementation (fish oil) as an anti-depressant that seem promising. Fish oil is like a wonder drug for cardiovascular health with no side effects and basically everyone should be taking it anyway, so you could look into that. Good luck 

It also may have the psychological aspect of thinking this will help like a magical bean.

 

The only reason I miss religion is because of this.

 

Are you sure doctors prescription is not  needed?

[Jotham]

15 hours ago, Aristotle said:

If anything it helps me. But it kinda depends what type of depression you are having.

 

My depression is mostly caused by family problems and to a lesser extend loneliness. So working or college can distract you from depression and at least you can focus on bringing happy news by doing a good job in what you do.  

Unfortunately, my situation is different because this job is the main reason for my depression and anxiety at the moment. I feel so overwhelmed with work and I dislike my supervisors. Some of my coworkers are nice though.

Edited February 1, 2023 by Jotham

[Ampersand13]

Just popping in to say that I hope everyone is hanging in there alright. I also just wanted to share some thoughts/experiences of my own in case anyone can benefit from them.

 

I've been diagnosed with quite a few disorders (general consensus that depression and anxiety are definitely present, though some psychiatrists have felt that I show tendencies that align with borderline and bi-polar). Throughout my mental health journey I've done CBT and DBT, transcranial magnetic stimulation, and have been on just around or over 20 medications (ranging from antidepressants, antipsychotics, mood stabilizers, and stimulants). So, if anyone has questions regarding any one thing in particular, I might be able to shed a little light!

 

What I will say is that, even though I experience depression, the medications that have helped me the most in terms of getting through depressive episodes are antipsychotics and mood stabilizers (the latter of which I only started in 2022). So, if you're feeling as though SSRIs or other a-typical antidepressants aren't working the way you'd like them to, ask your doctor about other options. Many of them have a beneficial impact on mood! I also cannot recommend CBT and DBT enough. Obviously every therapist has their own interpretations, so it's important that you feel comfortable working with them, but finding providers who specialize in either or both is a good sign in my opinion. Keep hanging in there everyone, always here to chat! 

[Jotham]

I finally went to therapy for the first time in two years today. There's still so much to unpack but it finally feels good to talk to a mental health professional again.

[SickLove]

What are the realistic chances of things improving for me within the next five years if they haven't improved at all within the last five years? Been doing some thinking on this and I'm feeling very bleak about my future

 

Also how is a  therapy session actually supposed to go? Because I am sick and tired of crying my heart out of all the painful things in my life only for the therapist to go all "damn that sounds bad :( have you tried thinking about it differently? " i don't want to spend that much money on therapy if all i get is a tremendously depressed rest-of-the-day since i got all worked up during a session and now i have nothing to do with all of my sadness. 

 

idk everything is just so exhausting

[youcallingmyname]

Im on so many meds CHILE

250mg sertraline

hydroxyzine up to 3-4x twice in morning and at night

contrave

 

im also approved for Wegovy

[youcallingmyname]

Are y’all taking melatonin or magnesium? I always take a calm at night along with my melatonin and hydroxyzine to combat my insomnia. 

[Sam96]

I’m so done with everything 

[Sam96]

I honestly wanna end my life

[Witchpop]

Was finally catching feelings for a guy I went on a couple dates with but it didn't work out, kind of a bullet dodged, but also was the first guy since my ex I was actually interested in so I'm in a weird mental space.

[AMIT]

On 2/5/2023 at 2:13 PM, SickLove said:

What are the realistic chances of things improving for me within the next five years if they haven't improved at all within the last five years? Been doing some thinking on this and I'm feeling very bleak about my future

 

Also how is a  therapy session actually supposed to go? Because I am sick and tired of crying my heart out of all the painful things in my life only for the therapist to go all "damn that sounds bad :( have you tried thinking about it differently? " i don't want to spend that much money on therapy if all i get is a tremendously depressed rest-of-the-day since i got all worked up during a session and now i have nothing to do with all of my sadness. 

 

idk everything is just so exhausting

Honestly I feel kinda done with therapy, for now at least. I just called things off with my last one I was seeing for pretty much the whole last year because she really wasn't helping me out. It got to a point where she clearly got frustrated by my lack of ''progress'' which I saw as her own inability to handle my case if anything. It was my first time trying CBT since I read it was generally beneficial for ADHD, but it was not a good experience at all. Feels like I just wasted money and time and that made me feel horrible and angry tbh.  

 

Now I am kinda on the fence about trying a new one cause it's so hard to find someone you actually connect with and that actually listens to you and wants to get to know how you function. I don't wanna waste anymore money (that I don't even have) and end up feeling worse than I did before I started it like. 

 

As for your first question... my advice would be to not get too hung up on the past like that. Think about what you can do right now to improve things for yourself. There's always gonna be some down times here and there and that's ok. I had some slips ups from time to time, but I just shrugged them off and didn't let that get into my head too much. In my case it's very easy to lose focus and so things can derail quickly (like they did for me last year nn), especially if you don't have a strong support system (which I didn't really have last year). I am still trying to pick everything up again and it's been rough... 

 

I know therapy is important, but like in your case if you don't feel like it's working it's not worth it to continue with the one you have right now, imo. 

Edited February 10, 2023 by AMIT
grammar

[youcallingmyname]

Is sex going to make me happy? I am trying to hookup as soon as possible but haven’t had any luck. Should I focus on something else or keep trying to get my nut. Is this bad to do while depressed? Also, I want so desperately to learn coding. I have to actually calm down and make a game plan. I have trouble concentrating though so this will be tough.

 

[DoubleRainbow!]

22 hours ago, youcallingmyname said:

Is sex going to make me happy? I am trying to hookup as soon as possible but haven’t had any luck. Should I focus on something else or keep trying to get my nut. Is this bad to do while depressed? Also, I want so desperately to learn coding. I have to actually calm down and make a game plan. I have trouble concentrating though so this will be tough.

 

From my experience, all the excitement around looking for someone to hook up with and the actual sexual act distract you tremendously from the pain and sadness but after it, it all comes back and even more emptiness but maybe it works for you.

Edited February 11, 2023 by DoubleRainbow!

[youcallingmyname]

1 hour ago, DoubleRainbow! said:

From my experience, all the excitement around looking for someone to hook up with and the actual sexual act distract you tremendously from the pain and sadness but after it, it all comes back and even more emptiness but maybe it works for you.

Well, let me just sit my ass down then. I wouldn’t be able to handle any worse feelings of loneliness and sadness. I really do need to see someone about this.

 

& I’ve been googling how I feel and now I think I have an avoidant personality disorder. 
 

 

 

 

 

[Likingstars]

Though I go over my ex already but today I saw my his profile on hinge, with one photo of him in his underwear flexing his abs and it ruined the whole day for me. I felt broken, unwanted and unloved. I went on Grindr try to hook up to numb the pain but no luck. Then I just watched some porn and took matter into my own hand and when I finally came, just collapsed and cried inconsolably. I hate him. I hate the winter so much. I don’t want to die but I wish to stop suffering like this. I am really tired and I feel like I am at my limit already.

[Joyride]

Hi guys! it's been quite a while since I last posted here.

 

there's been so many changes, ups and many downs, but these days (since the beggining of the year) I've been talking to this one who just couldn't be better. I feel like somehow he's everything I've been waiting for in a person, and he's managed to light up my mood in so many ways, whoever, I still haven't fully come out to him yet, even though he's gotten some hints of what's I'm currently going through.

 

talking to him kinda light ups my day and even though he's not currently in the country, he'll be back from his masters sometime in June and he's literally just put so many real smiles on my face even though we haven't met in person. I think I'm scared, as I've never really had "feelings" like these for anyone.

 

he'll be visiting me and I really want things to work. he's literally the sweetest person I've ever met and not only that, but has guided me in some ways I never thought anyone could.

 

I've also been off meds because I can't afford them, but even if I am off meds and living my cold reality with depression, I've been able to find a job for a few weeks, where all I've done is literally pay my therapy sessions, and my therapist has opened my eyes in so many ways I could not see at first. she's even recommended me to cut off people from my life who ultimately, were holding me back in so many aspect and has also started working on little steps that have somehow helped me get through this process, I feel like I finally found (two) people, the guy I'm talking to and my therapist, who have given me so much strenght these past couple of weeks. it's been beautiful to see it happen because it's been years since I've gotten a taste of happiness. I really do hope things keep going up for me and I find the peace that I've so desperately looking for. I'm not trying to base these feelings solely on the fact that I met this guy, but he's for sure made his way into my heart. it's a long life battle but it's been a while since I can say I've experienced small doses of happiness and even joy from having these people in my life.

 

hoping to find a job soon, so I can start the complementaty therapy with a psychiatrist who works along wth my therapist. I hope I can afford it and I hope it works out for me.

 

also: my friend gifted me tickets to see Christina Aguilera live and I literally passed out. she knows about what I'm going through and she's been kind enough to take me to two concerts with her. it's been absolutely crazy!

[grAntVRIL]

i wanna die  going through life alone is hard

[its_britney_bitch]

I've kinda given up on life the past few months and it really sucks. I've gained 30 pounds since July  From 140 to 170 pounds (last I checked), and it sucks because I was so close to feeling good about myself for once and I just let it all go. So I'm right back to where I was, I just figured **** it, everything else is so bad I might as well eat what I want. And... honestly everything IS still bad so I don't even have the motivation to change it no matter how disgusted I am at myself. Idk what to do  I just hate everything rn and don't really see anything to be positive about. The reason I even started losing weight was because I was just so anxious I couldn't eat, now I just kinda do what I need to so I don't have an anxiety spiral again... I know how to lose weight but I just don't have the willpower to do that to myself. And tbh the weight gain coincided with me quitting weed (it started making my anxiety worse) so I guess I just switched one vice for another.

 

I've always been introverted but I'm just withdrawing more and more from life and regressing back into old habits, I'm staying up all night, hardly going to uni, stopped going to the gym (and still pay for it every month ). Life really sucks and idk how to pull myself out of this again

[Jotham]

I gave my two weeks' notice at my job last week and it felt so liberating. I'm anxious about what I will do next but I knew that this choice was necessary because I was not happy at my job.

[monologueNacafe]

On 2/18/2023 at 3:56 AM, grAntVRIL said:

i wanna die  going through life alone is hard

 

[AMIT]

My psyquiatrist recently prescribed me the maximum dose of this antidepressant because he said I was very obviously depressed. 

 

I was taking it through the last 2 years already, but stopped these last few months. I didn't really feel that much better with them, but the side effects also weren't really bad, so we agreed to increase the dosage. 

 

My anxiety feels more in control right now, though the therapist I was seeing most of last year really did not help, if anything she made it worse. 

 

I feel so tired just thinking about trying to find another one, and if it doesn't click AGAIN I would have to keep trying. Plus I really cannot afford it between the meds (I am not even taking the ADHD meds right now because they are absurdly expensive) + therapy + psyquiatrist (though I see him only occasionally, but that's because of the cost so nn). 

[DoctorIce]

I had pretty heavy depression for several years until I had a psychedelic experience and it totally erased my depression in a matter of hours. It reset my entire perspective on life and made me feel 'reborn' or like I'd been given a second chance to be happy. Now I feel like I can't fathom being hopelessly depressed again because the memories and lessons of the experience are always with me.

 

I use the metaphor of a busted, slow and buggy computer. You reset to factory settings and it's as good as new. 

 

If you feel like therapy or anti-depressants haven't helped then I strongly advise that you do some of your own research into the benefits of psilocybe mushrooms. It's not a magic bullet and you still need to put in the work after to replace the negative patterns of thought and behaviour with healthy alternatives, but it literally changed my life and I feel obliged to spread the word. 

 

Disclaimer: I'm not suggesting flippantly taking psychedelics, I'm just recommending that you do your own research, read stories on Reddit, trip reports on YouTube etc and come to your own conclusions as to whether it's right for you. You should not consider this an option if you suffer from bipolar or schizophrenia.