discussion The Depression Lounge

[Likingstars]

On 11/26/2022 at 8:07 AM, Allday said:

Okay everything i've been numb about has knocked me hard past 2 days!  even thinking bout the day i hung out with Allday isn't making me feel any better because I have people on the internet calling me a stalker and then one girl on twitter for some reason giving me a hard time too bc I tweeted allday for a follow so she faked be him and showed off her accounts with his follow to the point i deleted my twitter before he saw the tweet.

 

like I know those are not even serious issues but the fact i've been so strong, my bf broke up with me I was fine, my friend decided to ditch me outta the blue I was fine but everything I was being so strong for has hit me with a tone of bricks to the point I even tried to OD on my anti-depressants last night! 

 

I just don't have any friends to go to anymore, I have been on discord voice with people ALL day just so I don't do anything dumb! and I love them for keeping my mind busy, but eventually i'll have to get off voice and be back into my own thoughts :( 

 

 

Please go check with your doctor. It is very concerning that you tried to OD on your meds. Get some help and keep us updated. 

[tbhmatt]

I’m still feeling very sad and I’m really struggling to control my mood at the moment. I’ve had some intense mood swings today. One day I’m fine, the next I’m irritable and snapping and then I’m panicking and crying because I can’t control my mood. Everything’s sort of getting on top of me at the moment.

[Grumpy Cat]

My life is so ****** up i hope i dont wake up tomorrow

 

it's too complicated. finantial. health wise.

 

everything seems impossible.

 

i hope i dont wake up. the last box of sleeping pills and sedatives cuz if i ask for help- whos gonna believe me. no one.

[Grumpy Cat]

ps asking for help in the church is sooo useless

 

im like- im in pain and i need meds and the bills went up and my life is a mess and they told me- take jesus as your savior and repent for your sins.

 

da fak. how will that change the fact i'm ****** by all means this month and have no one to ask for help.

church is so useless and even makes you feel worse for simply existing

[Danger]

37 minutes ago, Grumpy Cat said:

My life is so ****** up i hope i dont wake up tomorrow

 

it's too complicated. finantial. health wise.

 

everything seems impossible.

 

i hope i dont wake up. the last box of sleeping pills and sedatives cuz if i ask for help- whos gonna believe me. no one.

I hope you wake up tomorrow. And the day after and the day after. 

[Danger]

I need therapy. I don’t know how to start though? Like it won’t go well if I have to pay out of pocket for it but damn I need a therapist. I’ve been having suicidal thoughts. I’m scared. I cry every day, multiple times a day.

[Jotham]

4 minutes ago, Danger said:

I need therapy. I don’t know how to start though? Like it won’t go well if I have to pay out of pocket for it but damn I need a therapist. I’ve been having suicidal thoughts. I’m scared. I cry every day, multiple times a day.

I suggest starting with Psychology Today's therapist search tool. It helps you find the therapists near you, what topics they work with, and how much their sessions are.

[Venice B]

december is usually the worst month of the year for me because i have my birthday, christmas & new years and it's usually a month full of happy occasions and everyone is happy and celebrating and stuff and i always get miserable because i don't get excited for any of this and everyone i know go out to celebrate and party and i sit there in my house doing nothing because i just can't get into it or feel happy for anything, if awful 

[TeemoR]

31 minutes ago, Danger said:

I need therapy. I don’t know how to start though? Like it won’t go well if I have to pay out of pocket for it but damn I need a therapist. I’ve been having suicidal thoughts. I’m scared. I cry every day, multiple times a day.

Do you have a health insurance? Do you live in the US? Maybe there are in-network therapists that you can see with a reasonable copay. I need to start therapy as well and have been wondering the same. 

[Danger]

28 minutes ago, Jotham said:

I suggest starting with Psychology Today's therapist search tool. It helps you find the therapists near you, what topics they work with, and how much their sessions are.

Thank you!! I am gonna check right now. 

24 minutes ago, Venice B said:

december is usually the worst month of the year for me because i have my birthday, christmas & new years and it's usually a month full of happy occasions and everyone is happy and celebrating and stuff and i always get miserable because i don't get excited for any of this and everyone i know go out to celebrate and party and i sit there in my house doing nothing because i just can't get into it or feel happy for anything, if awful 

Same here. Except my bday is in November, right always near Thanksgiving. Hoping things will get better hang in there.

Just now, TeemoR said:

Do you have a health insurance? Do you live in the US? Maybe there are in-network therapists that you can see with a reasonable copay. I need to start therapy as well and have been wondering the same. 

My health insurance is terrible! Yes I'm in the U.S. What about you? A user above kindly provided a link to a therapist search tool. I hope you find something!!

[TeemoR]

2 minutes ago, Danger said:

Thank you!! I am gonna check right now. 

Same here. Except my bday is in November, right always near Thanksgiving. Hoping things will get better hang in there.

My health insurance is terrible! Yes I'm in the U.S. What about you? A user above kindly provided a link to a therapist search tool. I hope you find something!!

I did check that link, yes I am in the US. I checked the first 10-15 results around my ZIP code and they are all freaking expensive...

[Danger]

21 minutes ago, TeemoR said:

I did check that link, yes I am in the US. I checked the first 10-15 results around my ZIP code and they are all freaking expensive...

Same and none take my insurance. I think I'm gonna have to settle for a social worker at my local hospital 

[KnightOfAllRealms]

Seeing my ex so successful and in a place where I want to be in ruined my happiness & health the past few days. I know I can never be as successful as him. What should I do? 

[JoeAg]

I technically have less than a week until i'm finished with undergrad, and i'm very proud of myself, but seasonal depression is still hitting super hard lately. i'm so sad because barely anyone has been streaming my song, which i'm super proud of and think actually sounds like a pop smash. it makes me feel like for some reason no one will ever take me seriously as a musician at all, even though i've devoted over 2 decades of existence to my music. lol that feels insane to say. but anyway. i like purposefully had a friend help me with production on this song because I knew it deserved to be a Pop Song rather than the classic Joe Indie Folk Pop Lo-Fi whatever i always do. but yeah. no matter how much i post it on my story on instagram, or tweet it, it just isn't sticking or... idk i feel like people like me for how i look but don't want to pay attention to me/my output beyond that. it's a weird feeling sometimes because i used to HATE my appearance, and i was so insecure. i'm less insecure now about my looks, and more insecure now about my musicianship. funny how life works out that way as an artist

 

i had a final session with a therapist last week, and fortunately i'm already paired with another one who i will have a consultation call with this week, but i hope he's as good as she was 

[MadonnasBoyfriend]

On 12/4/2022 at 11:32 PM, JoeAg said:

I technically have less than a week until i'm finished with undergrad, and i'm very proud of myself, but seasonal depression is still hitting super hard lately. i'm so sad because barely anyone has been streaming my song, which i'm super proud of and think actually sounds like a pop smash. it makes me feel like for some reason no one will ever take me seriously as a musician at all, even though i've devoted over 2 decades of existence to my music. lol that feels insane to say. but anyway. i like purposefully had a friend help me with production on this song because I knew it deserved to be a Pop Song rather than the classic Joe Indie Folk Pop Lo-Fi whatever i always do. but yeah. no matter how much i post it on my story on instagram, or tweet it, it just isn't sticking or... idk i feel like people like me for how i look but don't want to pay attention to me/my output beyond that. it's a weird feeling sometimes because i used to HATE my appearance, and i was so insecure. i'm less insecure now about my looks, and more insecure now about my musicianship. funny how life works out that way as an artist

 

i had a final session with a therapist last week, and fortunately i'm already paired with another one who i will have a consultation call with this week, but i hope he's as good as she was 

Where's the link sweetie ? 

[JoeAg]

1 hour ago, MadonnasBoyfriend said:

Where's the link sweetie ? 

aaaaaaaaaaa you’re the best 

 

it’s available on all streaming services, here’s the hyperlink…

https://ffm.to/perigee

[MadonnasBoyfriend]

12 minutes ago, JoeAg said:

aaaaaaaaaaa you’re the best 

 

it’s available on all streaming services, here’s the hyperlink…

https://ffm.to/perigee

Ok I'm into perigree. It reminds me of late Abba kinda like under attack a little mixed with lady gaga edge of glory with a tad 2 steps behind me by madonna

Edited December 8, 2022 by MadonnasBoyfriend

[JoeAg]

9 minutes ago, MadonnasBoyfriend said:

Ok I'm into perigree. It reminds me of late Abba kinda like under attack a little mixed with lady gaga edge of glory with a tad 2 steps behind me by madonna

ack thank you  those are huge compliments, I can kinda see the Under Attack comparison!!

[Likingstars]

My ex still views my Instagram story so i always try to share happy moments of my life to show him that move on and dont need him. But in reality i miss him so much. 2 days ago i dreamt about him and I woke up and couldnt stop crying.

 

Im currently on my vacation trip so it helps with my mood a bir but im going back tomorrow. I don’t want to go back to my home alone. It’s like going back to reality. I don’t want to deal with the cold and the darkness and everyday life. I still miss him so so much.

[Likingstars]

The holiday sucks. I stay alone at home with nowhere to go. I wish I could just sleep through the whole thing, but my depression med keeps me up throughout the day 

[Jotham]

Man, this rest of this month is going to be really stressful and I've been worrying about it so much. At least February looks like it will be chill and I might visit Los Angeles that month.

[tbhmatt]

I’ve just started anti depressants for the first time. Im not sure how I feel about it. Im

not convinced they’re right for me but I wanted to try it because i wasn’t getting any better. Has anyone had any experiences with anti depressants? Did they help at all? I know everyone is different but it would be nice to hear 

[Jotham]

On 1/14/2023 at 7:30 AM, tbhmatt said:

I’ve just started anti depressants for the first time. Im not sure how I feel about it. Im

not convinced they’re right for me but I wanted to try it because i wasn’t getting any better. Has anyone had any experiences with anti depressants? Did they help at all? I know everyone is different but it would be nice to hear 

I haven't done antidepressants myself because CBT works very well for me already. But I have friends who take antidepressants and they say that it helped them out a lot.

[tbhmatt]

1 hour ago, Jotham said:

I haven't done antidepressants myself because CBT works very well for me already. But I have friends who take antidepressants and they say that it helped them out a lot.

Thanks for taking the time to reply. I tried CBT about 10 years ago and it didn’t really work for me. I’ve been on anti depressants for 7 days now, it says they can take about 2 weeks before you start to feel the benefits. I feel less overwhelmed already but I still struggle with negative thoughts and feeling sad and lonely sometimes. Hopefully things will get easier now though!

[AMIT]

So I've been taking antidepressants for like a year and a half now but i'm pretty sure I'm still depressed.  I guess they also helped a bit with my anxiety, but still not that much either. 

 

Around this time last year I switched therapists because I read that CBT was generally regarded as more effective for my condition than the regular type (I have ADHD) and I've spent last year with this new one, but I'm afraid I'll have to switch again because she really did not help me much at all either. Idk I felt like she didn't really listen to me and wanted to push me into doing some tasks that I had a lot of trouble with (mainly profession-related such as organizing my linkedin, applying for jobs, making plans for the days, weeks, etc) and put into a box, one that I just don't fit in. All of those things trigger my anxiety. 

 

She kept giving me negative feedback which is in contender for my #1 most hated thing ever, while not taking what I was doing into account that much (I did most of what she asked, but it was at a veeeery slow pace). I think she failed in establishing a healthy relationship between us because of stuff like this. After a while I stopping doing the stuff she asked because I was pressed she wasn't listening to me (though I only realized this recently) and I'm not even sure of this myself actually. During one of our last sessions of last year I noticed her getting frustrated by this and borderline angry at me.  She kept saying I only want to do what I want, and adult life isn't like this, that I only did like 5% of what she asked, compared my sister's situation with mine (she moved away from our home last year and she's younger than me). It was a really rough one. 

 

Right now I feel even worse than I was before meeting her. I started smoking again, my self esteem is in the pits, I stopped exercising regularly, still don't have a proper job, my eating habits are worse and my sleep schedule is still ****** up. 

 

She sent me a message to schedule our first session of the year, but I'm pretty sure that I don't want to continue seeing her. I would rather say that to her in person, but she also increased the price and I really don't want to pay for it and I kinda don't know what to do now. 

 

Sorry for the wall of text, I needed to write this stuff down and thank you so much if you read it. Have a great day.