discussion The Depression Lounge

[Bencharmer]

On 7/31/2024 at 5:09 PM, JoeAg said:

yet when I see other people my age getting hundreds of likes on twitter and I'm only getting like 30 at most, I just sometimes get back to my insecure mindset. what is it about me? is it my long hair? is it my height? is it my body still? how hairy I am? I hate it here sometimes, I feel like everyone in this goddamn city is still hotter than me and I feel like I'll never look the way I want to look. I have beady ass eyes, a big nose, a huge forehead, and I'm short. I finally have a job which is super amazing but what really sucks is just how THIS^ and my music-related jealousy always seem to just come back at random. aijsdfnogadiohsfns it feels like all of my therapy progress has been for nothing sometimes!

Social media's game is insane and random. There are plenty of people who could be your neighbour, who post the most everyday like content and they that got a lot of attention. Beauty/talent/lifestyle isn't always working. There are many things that depends on

 

Enjoy your job 🥰 It's not likes that are going to pay your rent 🤗

[Bencharmer]

On 7/26/2024 at 2:02 AM, Dear Reader said:

I really am at one of the lowest points in my life and it seems like nobody understands me and I feel left out. I kind of hate my job, my friends are all in their own lives and I feel stuck. My boyfriend broke up with me in February, I went back to add him on instagram this week cause I was missing him bad and found out he's with someone else. I feel miserable, ugly and lonely. I'm sorry for this post and for the horrible writing, I really can't put into words how low I feel right now. I have no one to talk to and I don't have the motivation/strength to go and seek help/therapy. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with these feelings? I feel overwhelmed with sadness. 

1) Don't try to rationalise them. Let them express themselves.

 

2) Write them down, or record yourself expressing what you feel.

 

3) Take a moment to meditate on what you have RIGHT NOW. Realise that no matter what happens, you are still here.

 

4) Nothing lasts forever, including the pain you feel now 🤗 

 

5) Reconnect to/Practice something you like to do. 

 

6) Some events are part of a chapter of our lives. The story can't continue if you keep on re-reading the same chapter again and again 🙂

 

 

 

 

[JoeAg]

7 hours ago, Bencharmer said:

Social media's game is insane and random. There are plenty of people who could be your neighbour, who post the most everyday like content and they that got a lot of attention. Beauty/talent/lifestyle isn't always working. There are many things that depends on

 

Enjoy your job 🥰 It's not likes that are going to pay your rent 🤗

thank you  and you're 100% right

 

it's stressful sometimes because i've had so many insecurities all my life and being 27 i feel like i should've chilled out a bit by now 🫠 and in some ways i have but every so often there'll be something that sends me spiraling and it's almost ALWAYS having to do with music or my appearance lol

[Bencharmer]

11 hours ago, JoeAg said:

thank you  and you're 100% right

 

it's stressful sometimes because i've had so many insecurities all my life and being 27 i feel like i should've chilled out a bit by now 🫠 and in some ways i have but every so often there'll be something that sends me spiraling and it's almost ALWAYS having to do with music or my appearance lol

Sadly it takes many years and even a lifetime to some people to overcome insecurities. We aren't equal on that subject. 

 

One thing that is sure is human brain becomes addicted to catastrophing, creating fake scenario and making you feel ashamed for things that aren't meant to.

 

Beauty validation, popularity and attention seeking are three topics that are highly polluting the world now, mostly Gen X/Gen Z.

Edited August 2 by Bencharmer

[Dear Reader]

Yet another night where I'm crying myself to sleep because I'm feeling useless. 

My family is full of drama between themselves, I don't have the money to afford a rent or a house to leave. I feel zero motivation to even seek a house to live in. 

I miss my friends but can't even have the energy to tell them I need them. 

Work is going okay, but I don't feel motivated in it. 

My ex boyfriend, whom I still love, has moved on with his life while I'm here obsessing over him. 

 

I need to start realizing what positive things I have going on for me, because it has been very hard. I really just don't know what to do. I'm so helpless. 

 

Thank God for Billie Eilish, in these moments. 

 

 

Edited August 5 by Dear Reader

[YourFavoriteWeapon]

Things have been looking up for me a lot recently and I'm in the best place I've been in years, but my cat is getting really sick and I'm afraid I'll have to put her down soon. I don't want to depart from her. 

[monologueNacafe]

With both the state of the world and the state of my personal life being as seemingly hopeless as they are…I need off this hellscape of a planet. 

 

I feel like crap everyday and nothing these doctors are prescribing is helping.

 

[Breakdown]

Spoiler

i'm not sure if this year has been one of my worst years of my life but it has definitely been the the hardest one so far, so many challenges and i don't really manage to deal with them properly.

the only thing that got me through it was niall. he somewhat saved my life i guess. when i went to six of his shows in march it was the time of my life and i was almost like in a constant state of serotonin rush or something and made me just block out everything else.

so obviously i had to see him in august again for his upcoming shows and anticipating those has basically got me through this hell of a year. i don't even know where i'll be in 2 months. everything is so insecure/unstable in my life right now and i don't have much of a support system or rather there are some things i need to just manage on my own but i'm to weak or something.

however i booked somewhat of an extensive stay in ireland to make the most of this opportunity and while the first several days went great, the past few days my depression has kicked in yet again and i'm wasting the time when i had plans to visit several places which i now can't do anymore during this stay. i'm very sad i always stand in my own way.

tomorrow would be the only day left i can at least make my pilgrimage to mullingar but honestly it just makes me feel anxious right now and i'm very insecure. 

same for the concerts in 2 and 3 days. i'm crying

 

[monologueNacafe]

I have an appointment next week for an Esketamine treatment consultation...I don't have high hopes after TMS was a fail last year.

[Spicy Pisces]

Sometimes I miss my best friend from college, who left me after I came out. He still sends me a text on my birthday, I wonder why.

 

[Darkgalord]

Everything seems.... So pointless. 

Is it really all worth it?

And for what? 

 

[YourFavoriteWeapon]

I don't have my medication right now and feel like I'm Going through an 

episode 
 

 

[YourFavoriteWeapon]

My family member brain is bleeding and I think she might die she's almost 80 she's in the hospital but I can't sleep or function right now this is fr last tjingnI need to hear in middle of possible manic episode I can't stop crying is anyone awake 

[Strawberry Bubble]

i think i might have something serious, any tips for anxiety?

[YourFavoriteWeapon]

Please ai need a friend I'm freaking out and don't want her to die I don't want to Wake anyone up by calling them bc all my friends are in American timezones and  my parents are at the hospital I just don't know how to cope with the possibility of her dying without saying bye to her 

[YourFavoriteWeapon]

9 minutes ago, Strawberry Bubble said:

i think i might have something serious, any tips for anxiety?

You can message me 

[YourFavoriteWeapon]

I managed to calm down after finding some klonopin and am going to get some sleep. I hope for an improvement regarding my family member's condition tomorrow will keep you guys updated. I also apologize for the frantic manic posting dd, I just needed to calm down. I love you guys and hope the best for you all

 

[Joyride]

so anyways I was put back on lexapro and god damn the difference between generic and the actual brand is crazy. I had to "upgrade" as a recommendation from a new neurologist I'm seeing and it could be placebo or something but it really does work so much better... I'm a bit freaked out

[monologueNacafe]

I'm as hopeless as a penny with a hole in it

[KFC]

I need to get sober because the way alcohol drags my emotional state DOWN omg. I was so happy until I got drunk and just started feeling depressed for days

[monologueNacafe]

It doesn't end

[Alaska.]

Spoiler

I really need a fresh start in my life. I pretty much only have 1 remaining friend because I suck at keeping friendships, but it's hard to keep them when everyone already has their circle of friends. I didn't keep up with the middle school friends because I had body issues + I enjoyed being an introvert, so I didn't go out with them during Summer because I hated my body. Then high school was ass because my own classmates kinda sucked (thought it could have been one of my excuses to not fit in, but apparently everyone agreed that all of us just didn't connect); my senior year was actually nice because I had new classmates who were a lot friendlier, but only staying with them for a year wasn't really enough to create a strong bond.

 

I met some cool people at university and even had a somewhat group of friends, but after failing my second year for not being sure if that was my right degree, the group was fragmented and everyone went back to their older friends. Now after trying twice to stay at a job in a bigger city (an hour distance from my hometown) and failing because the first one didn't treat me like a person and the second one didn't have projects to allocate me after the internship was over, I am working at a boring IT Helpdesk job as a public servant, with pretty much everyone being a lot older than me.

 

My plan is to start studying Salesforce and get myself a job in that area next year, and hopefully convince my other friend to move out with me. I have discussed this already with him a few months (maybe a year or two?) ago and he seemed interested in the idea. I'm going out with him on Friday and I'm gonna ask him what he thinks. If he's not interested anymore it's gonna suck, but I really need to move out to the city I was working at my other previous jobs to find new people and living life again, instead of the stagnant mess I've been ever since COVID hit.

Sorry for the essay, but I just had to let it out

[monologueNacafe]

My job makes me want to kms 

[Elvenpath]

I'm here for anyone who feels like talking. I've been there and I know what it feels like.

[Tayman]

I'm just tired of myself, tired of everything.

I don't even know why I'm writing here, but I don't want to complain with my friends anymore, I feel like a pain in the a*s.