Gorjesspazze9 Posted November 16, 2023 Posted November 16, 2023 (edited) I usually over work myself to avoid my depression. But my boss cut some of my hours this past week and I’ve been at home severely depressed. Realizing how pathetic and lonely my life actually is. Social media makes it worse, cuz you see how many people manage to hve a social life. I just go to work and go home to sleep everyday. I find no pleasure in life and have t been happy since I was a teenager. On my off days i rarely go outside my house, and binge watch tv shows I grew up on. All my old friends feel like thousands of miles away. And I just watch thier stories but never engage because I assume they don’t even remember me. Same with family. The days feel like they pass by so fast and I accomplish nothing. Sometimes I go days without talking to anyone. Apart from my job. I haven’t talked to my best friends face to face since 2017. Last year I tried changing jobs and finding hobbies but I’m a failure at everything I do. I’m starting to think this is how life will always be. Edited November 16, 2023 by Gorjesspazze9
poki Posted November 16, 2023 Posted November 16, 2023 7 minutes ago, TicketOneWay said: I'm glad I found this thread I miss the sun, the weather here is going to turn me into a shut in I love summer so much. Sometimes I joke to myself that Halloween-Thanksgiving-Christmas-New Year's Eve are so close to one another in order to make the gloomy days a little more bearable. 1
KFC Posted November 16, 2023 Posted November 16, 2023 5 hours ago, Gorjesspazze9 said: I usually over work myself to avoid my depression. But my boss cut some of my hours this past week and I’ve been at home severely depressed. Realizing how pathetic and lonely my life actually is. Social media makes it worse, cuz you see how many people manage to hve a social life. I just go to work and go home to sleep everyday. I find no pleasure in life and have t been happy since I was a teenager. On my off days i rarely go outside my house, and binge watch tv shows I grew up on. All my old friends feel like thousands of miles away. And I just watch thier stories but never engage because I assume they don’t even remember me. Same with family. The days feel like they pass by so fast and I accomplish nothing. Sometimes I go days without talking to anyone. Apart from my job. I haven’t talked to my best friends face to face since 2017. Last year I tried changing jobs and finding hobbies but I’m a failure at everything I do. I’m starting to think this is how life will always be. Does the job that you do make you happy, do you enjoy it? I ask because personally I don't feel like overworking yourself in an attempt to avoid your issues is healthy. Just look at how you feel this week because you're not able to work as much as you usually do. I would suggest if your workplace is simply a place to go to run away from depression that you look into ways to make your time there more enjoyable. I also think you should try reaching out to your friends, what makes you think they won't remember you? I'm sure they'd love to catch up with you. Obviously I don't know your specific situation but I find that when we feel like people have negative feelings towards us we blow it way out of proportion. I feel like if you were to reach out to them you'd find the reception way more positive then you had imagined. If that doesn't work then maybe try meeting new people. You don't have to get along with them well enough to consider them 'friends' but having even one extra conversation a week will surely help you to feel less isolated. Look for events or meetups happening in your city, or maybe try going to a concert for a random artist Also, very random but I really enjoy your Marvel updates, I love how much of a fan you are so you're not a failure at everything! that's at least one thing you're good at. I realise you didn't ask for any advice and I hope I'm not overstepping by suggesting these things, but as I started typing I realised a lot of what you said relates to me as well, so writing this was like free therapy. Stay strong and remember that happiness is a journey, not a destination 1
Aethereal Posted November 16, 2023 Posted November 16, 2023 I am thinking about getting back to antidepressants but I am hesitant about the side effects.
Gorjesspazze9 Posted November 16, 2023 Posted November 16, 2023 7 hours ago, HotFriedChicken said: Does the job that you do make you happy, do you enjoy it? I ask because personally I don't feel like overworking yourself in an attempt to avoid your issues is healthy. Just look at how you feel this week because you're not able to work as much as you usually do. I would suggest if your workplace is simply a place to go to run away from depression that you look into ways to make your time there more enjoyable. I also think you should try reaching out to your friends, what makes you think they won't remember you? I'm sure they'd love to catch up with you. Obviously I don't know your specific situation but I find that when we feel like people have negative feelings towards us we blow it way out of proportion. I feel like if you were to reach out to them you'd find the reception way more positive then you had imagined. If that doesn't work then maybe try meeting new people. You don't have to get along with them well enough to consider them 'friends' but having even one extra conversation a week will surely help you to feel less isolated. Look for events or meetups happening in your city, or maybe try going to a concert for a random artist Also, very random but I really enjoy your Marvel updates, I love how much of a fan you are so you're not a failure at everything! that's at least one thing you're good at. I realise you didn't ask for any advice and I hope I'm not overstepping by suggesting these things, but as I started typing I realised a lot of what you said relates to me as well, so writing this was like free therapy. Stay strong and remember that happiness is a journey, not a destination Thanks most of my friends I made in college and we just moved away due to our careers. I only chat with them online, but I’m not really a talkative person in social settings. So whenever it’s the holidays and they return home I just never ask to hangout with them cuz a part of me feels like they moved on with thier lives.
poki Posted November 20, 2023 Posted November 20, 2023 My first panic attack in 2 years is here. I am strong enough to keep it on a leash but since September I'm definitely seeing more and more cracks in me. I don't understand why.
Jormungand Posted November 20, 2023 Posted November 20, 2023 November is the worst month of the year for me and it leads into my birth month December which can be a hit or miss. I always get really bad news around this time and I've been struggling to get myself together these past few months because I've been having really bad anxiety and I'm just mentally exhausted.
Alldeezy Posted November 21, 2023 Posted November 21, 2023 Any other atrlers suffer bpd. I've got my own coping to it to the point guys are starting to attack and bully me for it. All he can say is idk what bpd is so I dont care.
poki Posted November 21, 2023 Posted November 21, 2023 (edited) 18 hours ago, Hey Dude said: My first panic attack in 2 years is here. I am strong enough to keep it on a leash but since September I'm definitely seeing more and more cracks in me. I don't understand why. Crisis averted. Back in 2020 it would have taken me several weeks to get over an intrusive thought. Now I did this in about 10 hours. Edited November 21, 2023 by Hey Dude
Uncatena Posted November 22, 2023 Posted November 22, 2023 On 11/20/2023 at 11:57 AM, CBC said: How do you go about finding a therapist? if you are comfortable talking to your primary physician or doctor about mental health, he can refer you, depending on where you live. otherwise its a simple as doing research, maybe ask people if they can recommend someone and meeting therapists and getting on waitlists. depending on where you live and what type of insurance you have, it can take a very long time though so its smart to start sooner than later. 1
monologueNacafe Posted November 24, 2023 Posted November 24, 2023 Finished all 36 treatments for TMS on Wednesday. No improvement! Also, can that Nicki fan be banned for being delusional?
poki Posted November 24, 2023 Posted November 24, 2023 Survived Thanksgiving. Couldn't fall asleep afterwards at all. It went really smooth but I've just been thinking a lot about life. Quote On 9/18/2023 at 4:35 PM, Hey Dude said: I used to zone out when I had to ride trains. One time I fell asleep on the train and ended up 3 states away from home. Actually contemplated to myself, "do I go back home or start a new life here" Maybe I should have done that when I had the chance.
KFC Posted December 3, 2023 Posted December 3, 2023 Just one thing after another coming round to punch me out. Why did I need money issues on top of everything else I'm dealing with
suburbannature Posted December 3, 2023 Posted December 3, 2023 2 minutes ago, HotFriedChicken said: Just one thing after another coming round to punch me out. Why did I need money issues on top of everything else I'm dealing with I don't know what else you've been dealing with, but I'm sorry to hear about that compounding it. 1
KFC Posted December 3, 2023 Posted December 3, 2023 3 minutes ago, suburbannature said: I don't know what else you've been dealing with, but I'm sorry to hear about that compounding it. Just the usual, existential crisis, seasonal depression etc
Aethereal Posted December 3, 2023 Posted December 3, 2023 13 minutes ago, HotFriedChicken said: Just one thing after another coming round to punch me out. Why did I need money issues on top of everything else I'm dealing with F*** capitalism. 1
suburbannature Posted December 3, 2023 Posted December 3, 2023 Just now, HotFriedChicken said: Just the usual, existential crisis, seasonal depression etc I'm there with you. I deleted my thread because I felt stupid complaining about what will eventually be a positive change in my life and a temporary financial crisis when I'm been very blessed in that department, but the difficulties with family constantly weigh me down. It's always been and on and off thing like that with my dad (almost causing me to lose 20k dollars and feeling justified in doing so) - we will be good for years and then he'll have this impulsive shift to being borderline evangelical. It happened once when I was in middle school as well. He donated a truly massive amount of money to a church on a whim and made us all start attending daily, early-morning mass (when my brother and I were already going twice per week because of Catholic school and regular Sunday mass). It reminds me of people who struggle with binge drinking. I haven't wanted to talk about my mom's health because it almost feels like I'm exploiting it or cheapening when I speak about it. I know that's a cognitive distortion and I should practice what I preach as someone in the psychological field, but end up suppressing everything so I can maintain a public veneer of being contained, successful, whatever...but especially as the peace-keeper in my family. Family is the genesis of a vast majority of my stress - I haven't drunk alcohol since I was a teenager, I maintain physical health, I've been managing my anxiety for years, but these situational family moments can bring everything crashing down so quickly.
KFC Posted December 3, 2023 Posted December 3, 2023 24 minutes ago, suburbannature said: I'm there with you. I deleted my thread because I felt stupid complaining about what will eventually be a positive change in my life and a temporary financial crisis when I'm been very blessed in that department, but the difficulties with family constantly weigh me down. It's always been and on and off thing like that with my dad (almost causing me to lose 20k dollars and feeling justified in doing so) - we will be good for years and then he'll have this impulsive shift to being borderline evangelical. It happened once when I was in middle school as well. He donated a truly massive amount of money to a church on a whim and made us all start attending daily, early-morning mass (when my brother and I were already going twice per week because of Catholic school and regular Sunday mass). It reminds me of people who struggle with binge drinking. I haven't wanted to talk about my mom's health because it almost feels like I'm exploiting it or cheapening when I speak about it. I know that's a cognitive distortion and I should practice what I preach as someone in the psychological field, but end up suppressing everything so I can maintain a public veneer of being contained, successful, whatever...but especially as the peace-keeper in my family. Family is the genesis of a vast majority of my stress - I haven't drunk alcohol since I was a teenager, I maintain physical health, I've been managing my anxiety for years, but these situational family moments can bring everything crashing down so quickly. That sounds very scary, I don't know your situation but have you tried going 0 contact with your father?
Devin Posted December 3, 2023 Posted December 3, 2023 work been keeping me busy but i still hit those moments of seasonal depression. i needa good winter hobby any suggestions? 1
suburbannature Posted December 3, 2023 Posted December 3, 2023 5 hours ago, HotFriedChicken said: That sounds very scary, I don't know your situation but have you tried going 0 contact with your father? It’s complicated. I still love him very much and enjoy the extended good periods we have. He’s also still married to my mom who I’m extremely close with.
Joyride Posted December 6, 2023 Posted December 6, 2023 this is getting worse plus I'm experiencing very high levels of anxiety to the point I keep having body twitches
s-60staliniec Posted December 9, 2023 Posted December 9, 2023 On 4/13/2022 at 5:24 AM, Unknown User said: A thread for depressed users to share stories and tips to overcome their depression. -- Tips to help with Depression: 1. Reveal hidden contents - don't compare yourself to anybody else - don't be too hard on yourself, the same for everyone around you (we have all our stories, don't be too judgemental) - accept your weakness, this is who you are... And be aware of your strengths!!! - don't be rushed, take your time - don't rely too much on meds, it's the worst thing in life and they don't heal deeply... The biggest cure will be provide by yourself - relax, meditate, walk through the nature, use essential oils... And give a try to self-hypnosis, there's many videos on youtube, they can help Start drinking yerba. it sounds stupid and I dont want to promote alternative medicine but this Is a life changer it will help you with your mood you will start doing stuff because the cafinne and 3other stimulants it gives you so much energy you will have to do something ot wont give you anxiety contrary its very calming for me personaly it Just stoped my depresion like instantly try it Fr it śpi ds stupid but it did more for me then 6therapist and 1.5years on meds
monologueNacafe Posted December 10, 2023 Posted December 10, 2023 I feel like I’m existing somewhere between life and death. 1
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