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help make my album pt 2


ICEY
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inspired by my hit thread 'help me make my album' your opinions are the only ones i trust for pop music, help me choose the best demos to bring to my co-writers/producer and help me make them listenable :flower:

 

 

demos for EP2 here:

p.s

i know i cant sing and use too much autotune (u do not want to hear the dry vocals) beware some of these are tragic its just for fun!

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Afterparty is your single. There are some lines that need to be rewritten, but the vibes and top line melodies are great, very poppier Cub Sport.

 

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AfterParty & Karma are lowkey bops.

 

Karma's kinda reminds me of the Yubin's "Perfume"  :katie2:

 

 

A lot of your music is like unpolished (no shade, they're literal demos) Owl City "Fireflies" vibes. I mean that in a good way, I love that song!

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Broken-hearted is an absolute not, abort it.

 

Come Around has a sync problem, voice comes in one beat too early. Some lines (dear in the beginning of the first verse) rhyme weird - I would rewrite some, but nice midtempo.

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Cry is ok, there is something about the lose control part that doesn’t sit right in my ear. Would need more time listening to it.


 

Follow Me is filler. The Taylor Swift fast spoken/faux rapped pre-chorus doesn’t blend right with the verse.

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I hate songs like Hold On. So juvenile, sorry.

 

IWU has a lyrics issue, you talk about “thinking they are more than friends” in the pre chorus and “making love” in the chorus like :rip:  Also seems like you say “6 ON the morning” instead of IN when it starts. But it is kinda nice.

 

 

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Karma absolutely doesn’t fit with any of the previous songs. It is too campy.

 

Loving this tbh, will listen to the rest in my afternoon run.

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My very subjective opinion excluding the already mentioned vocals:

 

- Afterparty: I like the production and melodies, needs new lyrics tho

- Come Around: really cool actually 

- Cry: Again, nice melodies with a cool beat. I kinda like the lyrics as well. The short instrumental bridge is kinda awkward tho.

- Karma: Love the catchy chorus, cool instrumental, verses and bridge are horrible (sorry)

- Reputation: really like the lyrics, melodies are still a bit awkward, especially the chorus starts strong but ends kinda flat.

- Tears: Definetly my favourite. Chorus is amazing, love it! It has that 80s vibe that's popular right now and I can't get enough of it.

- The Sex Was...: The fact that this sounds like a Taylor Swift reject is kinda making me like this. Imagine if it went viral with that title and the Taylor association...

- What I Like: Again with the verses, they seem weak compared to the chorus.

 

Those are the ones I believe I would go back to when they're revised and polished. I would totally listen to Tears with a better vocal in its current state tho, that's a BOP!

Edited by The Next Day
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Afterparty:

Mix:

  • Bass sound working really well
  • Kick is a little thin, could use some more low/low mids
  • Vocal performance could be stronger, but might be useable with better processing:
    • Sounding a little thin, could use a little bump around 150-300 hz. Also some harsh high frequencies could use a little taming. Throw on Soothe if you have, if not, look for some harsh frequencies with an EQ and cut a few spots like 1-3dB with a narrow Q.
    • Reverb is very bright and harsh, I would low pass around 8k-10k, and maybe also high pass around 1k.
    • What version of autotune are using and what are your settings? I think you could get a better sound out of your tuning
    • Sounding a little too cold and harsh, try warming it up with some analog modeled saturation. You could also get some warmth out of your compression depending on what you're using.
  • Harmonies are kinda serving Brooklyn Nights

Songwriting:

  • Lyrics are a little clunky. Keep in mind that, while the meaning of lyrics is important and integral to many songs, the meaning doesn't really matter if they don't sound good and feel musical. Think of sounding good as a prerequisite to being meaningful. Deep, clunky, poetic, awkward lyrics = flop. Vapid, slick sounding, meaningless, vibey lyrics = potential hit. Deep, slick sounding, poetic, vibey lyrics = ideal.
  • There are some lulls in the melody where the energy drags a little bit. Your melodies are good but there isn't really anything particularly attention grabbing about them, take the melodies you have and play around with them, see if you can make a version of them that is a little more unique or captivating.

Feel free to DM me with any question! 

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Hold On's melody and production is veryyyyy catchy:clap3:

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After party is cool. Keep following your dreams and never give up. :hug:

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Miss You was the highlight and is written well tbh 
 

Come Around and What I Like were the only other ones that I can get thru without skipping. They’re decent. 

 

 

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18 hours ago, wehavetostan said:

I like AFTERPARTY

 

17 hours ago, Blue. said:

Afterparty is your single. There are some lines that need to be rewritten, but the vibes and top line melodies are great, very poppier Cub Sport.

 

 

7 hours ago, Sam96 said:

After party is cool. Keep following your dreams and never give up. :hug:

wait i love that ty for listening! :hug:

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17 hours ago, Blue. said:

Broken-hearted is an absolute not, abort it.

 

Come Around has a sync problem, voice comes in one beat too early. Some lines (dear in the beginning of the first verse) rhyme weird - I would rewrite some, but nice midtempo.

 

17 hours ago, Blue. said:

Cry is ok, there is something about the lose control part that doesn’t sit right in my ear. Would need more time listening to it.

 

Follow Me is filler. The Taylor Swift fast spoken/faux rapped pre-chorus doesn’t blend right with the verse.

 

17 hours ago, Blue. said:

I hate songs like Hold On. So juvenile, sorry.

 

IWU has a lyrics issue, you talk about “thinking they are more than friends” in the pre chorus and “making love” in the chorus like :rip:  Also seems like you say “6 ON the morning” instead of IN when it starts. But it is kinda nice.

 

17 hours ago, Blue. said:

Karma absolutely doesn’t fit with any of the previous songs. It is too campy.

 

Loving this tbh, will listen to the rest in my afternoon run.

 

omg thank you for listening and for the feedback! brokenhearted is a mess I HATE IT my friend/producer likes it so this validates me, LOL yup i do not know how to stay on time either :gaycat1:

a lot of the demos like MISS U and IWU were kinda written like 

 

not that im saying im talented like charli at all but i low key have 0 attention span for my own songs so i sorta topline and lyric it super quick add a few presets and EQ and call it a day and sort of just follow the vibes so theyre def unpolished 

 

thank u again so much for the candid feedback

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18 hours ago, Subzero said:

AfterParty & Karma are lowkey bops.

 

Karma's kinda reminds me of the Yubin's "Perfume"  :katie2:

 

 

A lot of your music is like unpolished (no shade, they're literal demos) Owl City "Fireflies" vibes. I mean that in a good way, I love that song!

 

15 hours ago, pavi said:

Hold On's melody and production is veryyyyy catchy:clap3:

 

6 hours ago, CristianGarcia said:

Miss You was the highlight and is written well tbh 
 

Come Around and What I Like were the only other ones that I can get thru without skipping. They’re decent. 

 

 

 

thank u so much!

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17 hours ago, The Next Day said:

My very subjective opinion excluding the already mentioned vocals:

 

- Afterparty: I like the production and melodies, needs new lyrics tho

- Come Around: really cool actually 

- Cry: Again, nice melodies with a cool beat. I kinda like the lyrics as well. The short instrumental bridge is kinda awkward tho.

- Karma: Love the catchy chorus, cool instrumental, verses and bridge are horrible (sorry)

- Reputation: really like the lyrics, melodies are still a bit awkward, especially the chorus starts strong but ends kinda flat.

- Tears: Definetly my favourite. Chorus is amazing, love it! It has that 80s vibe that's popular right now and I can't get enough of it.

- The Sex Was...: The fact that this sounds like a Taylor Swift reject is kinda making me like this. Imagine if it went viral with that title and the Taylor association...

- What I Like: Again with the verses, they seem weak compared to the chorus.

 

Those are the ones I believe I would go back to when they're revised and polished. I would totally listen to Tears with a better vocal in its current state tho, that's a BOP!

 

omg thank you for such a detailed response. comparing 'the sex was'to a TS song im honoured i think that song is so funny LOL, tears is a personal fav ty so much :hug:

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15 hours ago, WildOne said:

Afterparty:

Mix:

  • Bass sound working really well
  • Kick is a little thin, could use some more low/low mids
  • Vocal performance could be stronger, but might be useable with better processing:
    • Sounding a little thin, could use a little bump around 150-300 hz. Also some harsh high frequencies could use a little taming. Throw on Soothe if you have, if not, look for some harsh frequencies with an EQ and cut a few spots like 1-3dB with a narrow Q.
    • Reverb is very bright and harsh, I would low pass around 8k-10k, and maybe also high pass around 1k.
    • What version of autotune are using and what are your settings? I think you could get a better sound out of your tuning
    • Sounding a little too cold and harsh, try warming it up with some analog modeled saturation. You could also get some warmth out of your compression depending on what you're using.
  • Harmonies are kinda serving Brooklyn Nights

Songwriting:

  • Lyrics are a little clunky. Keep in mind that, while the meaning of lyrics is important and integral to many songs, the meaning doesn't really matter if they don't sound good and feel musical. Think of sounding good as a prerequisite to being meaningful. Deep, clunky, poetic, awkward lyrics = flop. Vapid, slick sounding, meaningless, vibey lyrics = potential hit. Deep, slick sounding, poetic, vibey lyrics = ideal.
  • There are some lulls in the melody where the energy drags a little bit. Your melodies are good but there isn't really anything particularly attention grabbing about them, take the melodies you have and play around with them, see if you can make a version of them that is a little more unique or captivating.

Feel free to DM me with any question! 

omfg thank you for the technical response i low key do not know what any of this means i dont rlly have any technical skills at all but ill def pass this along to my friend, yeah AP is from 2018 and listining to it now the lyrics are kinda stupid/pretentious so im gonna dumb them down a bit and youre right about everything (i think i was in my witness era) thank u again very much appreciated! i will for sure DM you w any questions :hug:

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On 1/15/2022 at 6:58 AM, ICEY said:

omfg thank you for the technical response i low key do not know what any of this means i dont rlly have any technical skills at all but ill def pass this along to my friend, yeah AP is from 2018 and listining to it now the lyrics are kinda stupid/pretentious so im gonna dumb them down a bit and youre right about everything (i think i was in my witness era) thank u again very much appreciated! i will for sure DM you w any questions :hug:

Yeah feel free to DM with any questions ! Hope that helped :angel:

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