Glassmouth Posted June 4, 2017 Posted June 4, 2017 I hope Gabriel likes the song I did for ha label, it's one of the best thing I've written, it has SO much metaphors for something so simple as an explanation of ''what did you do today?'' could someone read it and give me some critiques?
Bandito Posted June 4, 2017 Posted June 4, 2017 16 hours ago, Aurora said: 22. @Lane Boy - The Ebb and Flow [Water] Like I already told you, you were my #1. You really nailed this challenge for me. You never wavered from the central metaphor and essentially every lyric came back to the water in some way, shape or form. On top of that, the actual lyrics showed your unique identity and personal voice as a songwriter. It had a good sense of growth and progression and was interesting from beginning to end. I’m almost wishing I hadn’t dropped your score back a little bit now, honestly, but what made me do it was that there were points where it felt more like a spoken word piece or a poem of sorts rather than a song. With a few alterations to the structure of the song, and the addition of a few more elements to make the song really tight and flow from verse to verse in a way that let you definitely know “OK, this is a chorus, we’re back to the chorus”, it could have been a 9+ entry. Suggestion(s): - Structure is one of the most important aspects of this competition I believe (because we can’t judge things like melody, unconventional rhythm, production etc. like an actual song would have) so try your hand at applying everything you’ve already proven you’re skilled at to a more traditional song base. You can always add, alter and divert from that as you go, but establishing a good base structure can really help. Hey, I really appreciate your review! Do you mind sharing what parts sounded more like a spoken word / poem? I want to work on not doing that so much.
Bandito Posted June 4, 2017 Posted June 4, 2017 21 minutes ago, Glassmouth said: I hope Gabriel likes the song I did for ha label, it's one of the best thing I've written, it has SO much metaphors for something so simple as an explanation of ''what did you do today?'' could someone read it and give me some critiques? I'm always here for critiques and stuff sis!
Glassmouth Posted June 4, 2017 Posted June 4, 2017 4 minutes ago, Lane Boy said: I'm always here for critiques and stuff sis! sent
ONIKACRAZY Posted June 4, 2017 Posted June 4, 2017 35 minutes ago, Glassmouth said: I hope Gabriel likes the song I did for ha label, it's one of the best thing I've written, it has SO much metaphors for something so simple as an explanation of ''what did you do today?'' could someone read it and give me some critiques? i'm here if you want me to!
Glassmouth Posted June 4, 2017 Posted June 4, 2017 11 minutes ago, ONIKACRAZY said: i'm here if you want me to! lemme send it to you, sis
Glassmouth Posted June 4, 2017 Posted June 4, 2017 (edited) ready to unleash my depressive psychodelic club BOP (my first ever upbeat jam) kii @ me not having anything for the first days until Saturday, a day before the two songs are really psychodelic and really weird and they are both about the power of love and drugs like the same thing Edited June 4, 2017 by Glassmouth
UFO Posted June 4, 2017 Posted June 4, 2017 Ok so I switched record labels I was trying so hard with Orbital records but it was just nawt working
beatinglikeadrum Posted June 4, 2017 Posted June 4, 2017 When we will get like points/reviews like I am not in huge rush. What I mean is if we get it this week or the next one bcuz I may be mentally unstable.
UFO Posted June 4, 2017 Posted June 4, 2017 My song is a lot more personal this week than the previous two rounds, I hope you guys like it!
SaintWest Posted June 4, 2017 Posted June 4, 2017 2 hours ago, UFO said: My song is a lot more personal this week than the previous two rounds, I hope you guys like it! I wanna read it sis.
beatinglikeadrum Posted June 4, 2017 Posted June 4, 2017 (edited) Oh. My Walking On Air x Bon Appetit x Emotions is there. Hoping I'll be Top 20 this week too. Edited June 4, 2017 by beatinglikeadrum
Cupid Posted June 4, 2017 Posted June 4, 2017 I haven't had time to write anything this weekend, and it's my birthday next week so I won't be around much then. Probably will have to drop out I guess. My poor top 5 streak.
FCKNAmbrosia Posted June 4, 2017 Posted June 4, 2017 I shouldn't have sent my song so early. I'm bored now
SaintWest Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 5 minutes ago, Lane Boy said: Anyone wanna critique my song before I turn it in?
Buyonce1814 Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 I've been so ill this week and I start a new job in 6 hours and I still haven't written anything concrete. Apologies in advanced.
SaintWest Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 64 minutes until the deadline. Just picked a concept. It's a train wreck. I'm asking @Gastrodonatella for help. EveryTHINg iS oK.
Bandito Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 48 minutes ago, SaintWest said: 64 minutes until the deadline. Just picked a concept. It's a train wreck. I'm asking @Gastrodonatella for help. EveryTHINg iS oK. If you want help, hit me up sis. I can give you some advice and stuff if you need.
Hug Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 I think my entry is fine for the label I chose, but it's definitely an entry that benefits from that fact. It wouldn't do as well any other challenge I don't think.
ceremonials Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 I might have to take a 0 this week ff this bipolar chart run also does n e one want to dub
ceremonials Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 8 minutes ago, Corsola said: I don't say this often but my wig kinda flew off at this couplet! This entry is called ''Tides'' and it's a sequel to my #2 smash Drip Drop so in drip drop I had a couplet in the bridge ''But will I sail that lonely ocean / Or will I drown in my emotions'' so in this entry I put in the bridge ''Then I know I will sail the tides / Instead of fearing that I'll drown inside'' When will Currents impact stop??????
ceremonials Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 Just now, Corsola said: You wish, your only impact is the title cause I couldn't think of anything better This lie. Currents invented water imagery, going on to inspires such smashes as Ocean Lips, Heartwater and Set Sail
ceremonials Posted June 5, 2017 Posted June 5, 2017 I have a really cute idea for a song but I don't think it would work for any of the labels and I'm too lazy to write it out rn I might submit tomorrow, but if not can I just take a 0! I ain't winning anyway with Pussypear her inevitable <1 score
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