Lucky#17 Posted May 23, 2017 Posted May 23, 2017 10 hours ago, Aurora said: 28. @Lucky#17 - Intimate This screams “song that would actually be catchy if it was recorded with a good melody and DJ Mustard beat”, which is exactly why it falls flat in this type of competition. Now I know you’re probably thinking “Why can’t I write a fun song? Does everything have to be so serious?” but that’s not the issue. It’s all in the authenticity. Name-dropping a bunch of brands like Grey Goose, Bacardi, Ray Bans… it’s too overdone. They’re your lyrics, but they’re not original ideas, it’s - whether it’s consciously or subconsciously - a recycled mish-mash of a bunch of other songs. The endless repetitions, “oohs” and “aahs” etc. aren’t adding anything to the lyrics of this song, which makes them unnecessary. I really hope you don’t think I’m being rude, I’m pretty sure you’ve competed in PH before and done quite well in the past, so I know you’re capable of more than this. You can write a fun, upbeat, even club song if you want (I stanned Hug’s entry this week, which was just that). I really want you to come through and show us what your writing style is next week, not what your imitation of a hit urban radio song is. I don't think you're being rude at all actually! - I appreciate the criticism, though of course I'd have a response. I didn't really think the song was an imitation of a hit Urban track. Back when I started in PH (a super-super long time ago) and even songwriting in general everything I was doing was more in the Pop/Dance-Pop lane, but over the years things have been slightly shifting to more Alt or Rhythmic kinds of songs. (though I can still write Pop too) I didn't really see the song as being inauthentic, but rather safe. I admit it's quite a safe entry; nothing special at all. I was at a bit of a block, so I thought that taking the safe route as opposed to trying to pull something more artsy and completing failing was probably the best option. Hopefully next round I can deliver though! - Thanks!
Jackson Posted May 23, 2017 Posted May 23, 2017 3 hours ago, 8thPrince said: I can't believe you paid money to change your name to Swish Swish The gag is I didn't pay a dime
ceremonials Posted May 23, 2017 Posted May 23, 2017 1 hour ago, Swish Swish said: The gag is I didn't pay a dime n did yours get reinstated when the new site came up mine did too I actually was never supposed to have it, I gifted it to someone and ATRL gave it to both of us, and then gave me it again when the new site came up Never used it, though, except when I changed my name from complexion to ceremonials. My buzz era
Jackson Posted May 23, 2017 Posted May 23, 2017 1 minute ago, ceremonials said: n did yours get reinstated when the new site came up mine did too I actually was never supposed to have it, I gifted it to someone and ATRL gave it to both of us, and then gave me it again when the new site came up Never used it, though, except when I changed my name from complexion to ceremonials. My buzz era Yeah, and my original one was gifted to me by Element so I never paid in the first place
Hug Posted May 23, 2017 Posted May 23, 2017 RatedG^2 gave me mine as a birthday present. I rarely see ha around anymore though
Temporal Posted May 23, 2017 Posted May 23, 2017 3 hours ago, Speezy said: Yas @ my improvement Agrih'd
Hug Posted May 23, 2017 Posted May 23, 2017 6 hours ago, Temporal said: 7. Hug - Drowned in Neon WHEW the SLAY artwork! AND it works with the song! My main issues were that you ended up having to repeat the same words multiple times, and that drained them of their luster. This would be a B O P. - “The smoke inside’s like summer rain” this confused me Yeah I can see the point here. Like I told Sam, I wanted to connect it with the first verse, but it didn't go off like I thought it would. It came off like I ran out of words, and again, won't deny it. I also told Gabe, but generally, clubs have a smokey atmosphere and it was a good feeling to them, so that's what it was supposed to represent, but I also know it might not be obvious to anyone that isn't me. Also, thank you. I think it would be a bop too!
ughgabriel Posted May 23, 2017 Posted May 23, 2017 3 hours ago, Hug said: Yeah I can see the point here. Like I told Sam, I wanted to connect it with the first verse, but it didn't go off like I thought it would. It came off like I ran out of words, and again, won't deny it. I also told Gabe, but generally, clubs have a smokey atmosphere and it was a good feeling to them, so that's what it was supposed to represent, but I also know it might not be obvious to anyone that isn't me. Also, thank you. I think it would be a bop too! Let's make another dark bop together
Hug Posted May 23, 2017 Posted May 23, 2017 K-pop is sending me somewhere lately. I can't. 3 Top 10 of the year-worthy songs just being thrown at me in one day.
Cupid Posted May 23, 2017 Posted May 23, 2017 I'm honestly just kinda shook right now, I was supposed to be at the arena in Manchester. I had friends in there who managed to get out. To think that could have been me, it was so close to being me. Not only that but I also had family on the bridge in London when that was attacked. You never think these things will happen close to home. I'm scared to even go back to the arena again.
Hug Posted May 23, 2017 Posted May 23, 2017 Just now, Cupid said: I'm honestly just kinda shook right now, I was supposed to be at the arena in Manchester. I had friends in there who managed to get out. To think that could have been me, it was so close to being me. Not only that but I also had family on the bridge in London when that was attacked. You never think these things will happen close to home. I'm scared to even go back to the arena again. For that arena particularly, I feel like they'll take security a lot more seriously. HOWEVER, I'm really glad that your friends were able to make it out of there. I'm also shocked because you never think of a pop concert as a place of high threat, and yet this happens. A devastating moment, truly.
Buyonce1814 Posted May 23, 2017 Posted May 23, 2017 I walk through the arena every day, especially the foyer where the explosion took place because it's a shortcut to my work. I can't stop welling up in tears. My sister in law text me saying she knew I wanted to go and almost bought me tickets for my birthday a couple weeks ago. I also bought some myself last minute and was going to go with a friend who had a spare one. He didn't end up going thankfully. I'm so shook because it's practically on my doorstep and too close to home. My mum scolded me today out of fear because I never take up the ride with my dad and go on public transport. Bless her.
Aurora Posted May 23, 2017 Posted May 23, 2017 23 minutes ago, Cupid said: I'm honestly just kinda shook right now, I was supposed to be at the arena in Manchester. I had friends in there who managed to get out. To think that could have been me, it was so close to being me. Not only that but I also had family on the bridge in London when that was attacked. You never think these things will happen close to home. I'm scared to even go back to the arena again. 12 minutes ago, Buyonce1814 said: I walk through the arena every day, especially the foyer where the explosion took place because it's a shortcut to my work. I can't stop welling up in tears. My sister in law text me saying she knew I wanted to go and almost bought me tickets for my birthday a couple weeks ago. I also bought some myself last minute and was going to go with a friend who had a spare one. He didn't end up going thankfully. I'm so shook because it's practically on my doorstep and too close to home. My mum scolded me today out of fear because I never take up the ride with my dad and go on public transport. Bless her. I honestly can't imagine what you and your entire city must be going through right now. Almost everyone would be affected in some way. Sending only the most positive of thoughts your way.
Nait Phoenix Posted May 23, 2017 Posted May 23, 2017 51 minutes ago, Hug said: K-pop is sending me somewhere lately. I can't. 3 Top 10 of the year-worthy songs just being thrown at me in one day. KimLip honestly saved K-Pop. I was beginning to feel like all K-Pop girls can release nowadays are cutesy bull…
Hug Posted May 23, 2017 Posted May 23, 2017 Just now, Nait Phoenix said: KimLip honestly saved K-Pop. I was beginning to feel like all K-Pop girls can release nowadays are cutesy bull… None of the songs I was talking about were hers, but I will be damned if the girl can't sing. I instantly fell in love with her voice. And her song is still spectacular as well! Also, drag the cutesy stuff, I HATE it.
8thPrince Posted May 23, 2017 Posted May 23, 2017 3 hours ago, Hug said: K-pop is sending me somewhere lately. I can't. 3 Top 10 of the year-worthy songs just being thrown at me in one day. Right I had like 4 or 5 new entries for my best of today/yesterday
fountain Posted May 23, 2017 Author Posted May 23, 2017 6 hours ago, Cupid said: I'm honestly just kinda shook right now, I was supposed to be at the arena in Manchester. I had friends in there who managed to get out. To think that could have been me, it was so close to being me. Not only that but I also had family on the bridge in London when that was attacked. You never think these things will happen close to home. I'm scared to even go back to the arena again. 6 hours ago, Buyonce1814 said: I walk through the arena every day, especially the foyer where the explosion took place because it's a shortcut to my work. I can't stop welling up in tears. My sister in law text me saying she knew I wanted to go and almost bought me tickets for my birthday a couple weeks ago. I also bought some myself last minute and was going to go with a friend who had a spare one. He didn't end up going thankfully. I'm so shook because it's practically on my doorstep and too close to home. My mum scolded me today out of fear because I never take up the ride with my dad and go on public transport. Bless her. Yeah this is why I didn't want to do results last night. Manchester is so close to me and it's so surreal. I was at the arena just in February seeing Green Day and it gives you a lot of thoughts like what if it had happened on that day / what if I had chose to go to this concert too, or somebody I know. It's shocking when things like this happen in general but when it's so close to home it just makes you sick. Can't stop thinking about all those poor people. Glad y'all are okay Going to have to go ahead with results tonight instead
highdefinition Posted May 23, 2017 Posted May 23, 2017 On 5/20/2017 at 1:42 PM, keshaspearsxo said: Are you still planning on submitting? sorry bb it was the weeknd, I'll still participate in the other challenges bc they're fun and inspiring
fountain Posted May 23, 2017 Author Posted May 23, 2017 Looking to do results in about 3 and a half hours ?
Speezy Posted May 23, 2017 Posted May 23, 2017 3 minutes ago, keshaspearsxo said: Looking to do results in about 3 and a half hours ? My uncles is expected to pass away that time is it possible to have like 2 hrs earlier
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