fountain Posted May 22, 2017 Author Posted May 22, 2017 Thank you for my review @Aurora I feel like you misunderstood my artistical minimalism but ok
Aurora Posted May 22, 2017 Posted May 22, 2017 2 minutes ago, keshaspearsxo said: Thank you for my review @Aurora I feel like you misunderstood my artistical minimalism but ok Is it the font? EDIT: asdfghjkl; I just re-read this again and realised you were referencing the Bey Admired post from that season I didn't do, mess.
fountain Posted May 22, 2017 Author Posted May 22, 2017 Wait @Aurora do you wanna be in the title as Aurora or Sam?
Aurora Posted May 22, 2017 Posted May 22, 2017 Just now, Corsola said: @Aurora the real gag is that Gastrodonatella's cover WAS his source of inspiration That image already existed beforehand? How?
Aurora Posted May 22, 2017 Posted May 22, 2017 Just now, keshaspearsxo said: Wait @Aurora do you wanna be in the title as Aurora or Sam? Probably Aurora as some people might not know me as Sam but honestly either is fine, doesn't worry me.
fountain Posted May 22, 2017 Author Posted May 22, 2017 Just now, Aurora said: Probably Aurora as some people might not know me as Sam but honestly either is fine, doesn't worry me. I'll keep it as Aurora but maybe I'll do Sam when I wanna fit two in the title They will have to learn SamJJE101210etc
fountain Posted May 22, 2017 Author Posted May 22, 2017 2 minutes ago, Corsola said: He made it like a year ago and revived it for this entry Concerning
Aurora Posted May 22, 2017 Posted May 22, 2017 2 minutes ago, Corsola said: He made it like a year ago and revived it for this entry Oh, well... a perfect entry then! Just now, keshaspearsxo said: I'll keep it as Aurora but maybe I'll do Sam when I wanna fit two in the title They will have to learn SamJJE101210etc Let's leave that mess in 2006 where it belongs, thanks.
fountain Posted May 22, 2017 Author Posted May 22, 2017 @ughgabriel I agree with your review my meter was off and the way I tried to word my portrayal of anal prolapsing caused the emotion to get lost somewhere. I will work on this to improve my next entry
ughgabriel Posted May 22, 2017 Posted May 22, 2017 Just now, keshaspearsxo said: @ughgabriel I agree with your review my meter was off and the way I tried to word my portrayal of anal prolapsing caused the emotion to get lost somewhere. I will work on this to improve my next entry Well the lyrics were nice, the only thing that felt off was that the hole pic you used for inspiration, you could've shaved before taking the picture and then it would've been a great statement
Hug Posted May 22, 2017 Posted May 22, 2017 11 minutes ago, Aurora said: 7. @Hug - Drowned In Neon Ooh, an animated cover #edgy. It’s already very… you. Honestly, this was excellent. I never would have considered combining a club song and water imagery, and I’m kinda mind-blown right now, because it works so well. My only minor, and it is very minor, issue is the usage of neon and technicolor so much throughout the song. Literally drowned in neon! I feel like there are other synonyms you could have used, at least in the bridge, to show that diversity. Otherwise, great start to the season! Assuming you found this .gif on Google Images or something, you’ve definitely derived a great song from it. I kinda wanted to do that on purpose to link the bridge back to the first verse, BUT I do also know that it looks like I ran out of words, and I'm not going to deny that either. Also, my cover was...found after the song, but I knew I had to use that picture when I saw it. It captured what I wanted from my cover, which was just water and neon. It was harder than it seems to get a picture that had both. Thank you, by the way! I was worried my verses paled in comparison to the chorus, but it seems I was worrying myself for nothing.
fountain Posted May 22, 2017 Author Posted May 22, 2017 6 minutes ago, ughgabriel said: Well the lyrics were nice, the only thing that felt off was that the hole pic you used for inspiration, you could've shaved before taking the picture and then it would've been a great statement The hairy one is the single cover and the shaved one is the album cover. Represents the metamorphosis of my soul. Like a butterfly
Bandito Posted May 22, 2017 Posted May 22, 2017 16 minutes ago, Aurora said: 12. @Lane Boy - Breakthrough Once again, love this cover just from appearance. The text-lessness is perfect and it still captures that “breakthrough” vibe. This is what I would consider a perfect take on the challenge brief as far as the cover is concerned. Ooh, a storytelling song! I love this style and as of late they’ve rarely made their way into PH. “Safe and sound”? You’re not a Taylor fan by any chance, are you? The song is definitely well written. The subject matter is relatable. It’s ticking those boxes. I’m looking for something more unique, though. The “tennis shoes” line is a huge step in the right direction, because it’s clearly specific, it’s not something that just anyone could have written. I’d like to see more of that, because at times it did get a little too familiar. But this is still quite good! Wow, thanks a lot! I really appreciate that (I'm kinda shocked there was any positive critiques ). But yeah, I like some of Taylor's material, but Safe And Sound wasn't an inspiration for my song. I definitely appreciate the feedback though, my main concern with my writing (both in songwriting and my stories) is always trying to be descriptive and specific, so that's definitely something that I'm looking to improve on throughout the season!
Speezy Posted May 22, 2017 Posted May 22, 2017 Temporal used mega punch on Aurora. Attack failed Aurora used Night Slash on Temporal and Gabe. Super effective
fountain Posted May 22, 2017 Author Posted May 22, 2017 1 minute ago, Speezy said: Temporal used mega punch on Aurora. Attack failed Aurora used Night Slash on Temporal and Gabe. Super effective Pears used Explosion.
Temporal Posted May 22, 2017 Posted May 22, 2017 1 minute ago, Speezy said: Temporal used mega punch on Aurora. Attack failed Aurora used Night Slash on Temporal and Gabe. Super effective Wow at the panel being Ghost types
ONIKACRAZY Posted May 22, 2017 Posted May 22, 2017 38 minutes ago, Aurora said: 11. @ONIKACRAZY - Lovesick This single cover is actually pretty great and I can tell it’s going to do a good job of summarising the song. The song is a bop, which is nice, but every great bop still needs great lyrics. Things repeated in brackets and notations like *heavy breathing* might all sound good in your head, but first and foremost Platinum Hit is a lyric writing competition, and they’re essentially just empty space. The hook has good things about it, but the lyrics are not one. It’s catchy, it has a good flow, it’s tight etc. If you can apply these technical aspects which you’re clearly good at to a more unique concept with interesting lyrics rather than just “I feel so sick”, you’ll definitely be crafting better songs because of it. But you’ve definitely got good ideas as far as structural and technical methods to make a song catchy, it’s just knowing how to use them to also make the lyrics impactful and clever too. Noted! Didn't expect any positives at all if I'm being 100% honest
fountain Posted May 22, 2017 Author Posted May 22, 2017 Here is the church and here is the steeple We sure are cute for two ugly people
Pecinta Mariah Posted May 22, 2017 Posted May 22, 2017 (edited) Thanks @Aurora For your input and review. My song is short and simple. We need to read/sing it carefully and softly with v slow tempo. Edited May 22, 2017 by Pecinta Mariah
Nait Phoenix Posted May 22, 2017 Posted May 22, 2017 @Aurora Thank you for the critique. It shows that I'm nowhere near where I used to be. I've lost my initial touch, but I hope that I can find it soon. Especially considering this is my livelihood, I need to not be a hack anymore. I need to not be the everyman that everyone here believes I am. I need to be the raven my song talks about, so I will definitely get stronger in this competition. Thank you so much, again!
ceremonials Posted May 22, 2017 Posted May 22, 2017 2 hours ago, Temporal said: Wow at the panel being Ghost types Besides the host. Psychic types always win
fountain Posted May 22, 2017 Author Posted May 22, 2017 38 minutes ago, ceremonials said: Besides the host. Psychic types always win This is true
RihsusChrist(ATG) Posted May 22, 2017 Posted May 22, 2017 5 hours ago, Hug said: I kinda wanted to do that on purpose to link the bridge back to the first verse, BUT I do also know that it looks like I ran out of words, and I'm not going to deny that either. Also, my cover was...found after the song, but I knew I had to use that picture when I saw it. It captured what I wanted from my cover, which was just water and neon. It was harder than it seems to get a picture that had both. Thank you, by the way! I was worried my verses paled in comparison to the chorus, but it seems I was worrying myself for nothing.
Hug Posted May 22, 2017 Posted May 22, 2017 Just now, RihsusChrist(ATG) said: It's great that you found a gif for the judges to use for your song when they read it, but I'm not a judge this season -- no need to share it with me!
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