tournament ? PLATINUM HIT 10.5 ? Farewell pg.220 / Grammys pg.221 ?

[fountain]

7 minutes ago, Corsola said:

Wow these gabe reviews serving long and helpful!

The opposite of monemine

[beatinglikeadrum]

Will we get another reviews today ?

[fountain]

Maybe @Temporal @Aurora

 

I I have a stressful day tomorrow and I'm not staying up all night doing them so mine will be tomorrow!

[Hug]

2 hours ago, ughgabriel said:

Hug - Drowned in Neon

As I was going through the titles I was so excited to read this one because I just love neon/glow in the dark imagery.

And YAS! This is really well done! This a really dark bop but it's so well written, ugh. Your meter was impeccable, but I bet you already know that!

I will say it was a little confusing the comparison to summer rain on the 3rd line. But aside from that everything was really great.

I really liked how you alternate on the chorus the "I'll try to hide/find your hand prints" because it makes so much sense that when you're drunk/partying you either forget about your problems or your mind maximizes them.

A really great start for you.

If you want feedback on specific parts/lines you can always ask!

The summer rain line, although admittedly was primarily there for imagery and meter's sake, was supposed to be like, this person's covered in the smokey atmosphere of the club, but they enjoy it. It's refreshing to them.

 

And thank you, by the way! I did try really hard to make sure everything on the technical side was great, because I didn't think I was getting much of an emotional pull from this song, but I didn't really want to. The concept of this song changed mid-writing, actually.  It wasn't this dark. It was supposed to be a feel-good track all around.

 

Oh, and I guess I'll ask about the chorus - was it immediately apparent that my chorus rhymes were basically AAAA?

[Galah]

1 hour ago, keshaspearsxo said:

Maybe @Temporal @Aurora

 

I I have a stressful day tomorrow and I'm not staying up all night doing them so mine will be tomorrow!

I'm doing mine right now. Are there two batches?

[Temporal]

1 hour ago, keshaspearsxo said:

Maybe @Temporal @Aurora

 

I I have a stressful day tomorrow and I'm not staying up all night doing them so mine will be tomorrow!

I'm doing mine now

[Speezy]

6 minutes ago, Temporal said:

I'm doing mine now

Temporal bout to deliver a 1-2 mega punch to the rest of the Judges 

[Hug]

11 minutes ago, Aurora said:

I'm doing mine right now. Are there two batches?

 

10 minutes ago, Temporal said:

I'm doing mine now

Shaken isn't a good enough word to describe what I am right now. I am seizing.

[Temporal]

10 minutes ago, Speezy said:

Temporal bout to deliver a 1-2 mega punch to the rest of the Judges 

A Hitmonchan tea

[ceremonials]

Gabe serving professor 

[ughgabriel]

38 minutes ago, Hug said:

The summer rain line, although admittedly was primarily there for imagery and meter's sake, was supposed to be like, this person's covered in the smokey atmosphere of the club, but they enjoy it. It's refreshing to them.

 

And thank you, by the way! I did try really hard to make sure everything on the technical side was great, because I didn't think I was getting much of an emotional pull from this song, but I didn't really want to. The concept of this song changed mid-writing, actually.  It wasn't this dark. It was supposed to be a feel-good track all around.

 

Oh, and I guess I'll ask about the chorus - was it immediately apparent that my chorus rhymes were basically AAAA?

Yeah, it makes sense at first I thought it was going to be a feel good song, but then the chorus hit and gave the song a new tone.

 

What? I thought your chorus rhymes were ABAB  

[Nait Phoenix]

Thank you so much for the feedback! I was worried my lyrics would be too much "in my head". I'm always looking for ways to improve on connecting with my audience, so I'll take to heart what you said, Gabe!

[ceremonials]

3 minutes ago, Gastrodonatella said:

@ughgabriel ok first of all, this song WASNT over the top..? anyway the fact that u gave me a serious review made me scream, a true judge for the people  btw how'd you enjoy my cover art  

Is anyone going to tell her?

[ceremonials]

Okay. EVERYTHING you do is over the top

 

[ughgabriel]

4 minutes ago, Gastrodonatella said:

@ughgabriel ok first of all, this song WASNT over the top..? anyway the fact that u gave me a serious review made me scream, a true judge for the people  btw how'd you enjoy my cover art  

Was I not supposed to?

[ceremonials]

I wish I would've done an actual song ugh 

 

let me write a song for this round now even though it won't matter at all

 

[ceremonials]

Just now, ughgabriel said:

Was I not supposed to?

Most ppl would just post like a reaction gif or smthing. King of being nice

[ceremonials]

1 minute ago, Gastrodonatella said:

i wanted 4 zeroes you're a dreamcrusher  

THE GAG IS I'm gonna be lower than you this week

 

[ughgabriel]

Just now, ceremonials said:

Most ppl would just post like a reaction gif or smthing. King of being nice

Wait till I post your review  

[Hug]

4 minutes ago, ughgabriel said:

Yeah, it makes sense at first I thought it was going to be a feel good song, but then the chorus hit and gave the song a new tone.

 

What? I thought your chorus rhymes were ABAB  

The first/third lines use the second to last syllable for the rhyme.

 

"The crowd is drowned in ne-on

I'm floating out at sea"

 

I knew an AAAA rhyme scheme would get boring fast, so I disguised it a bit. ddd seems it worked!

[ceremonials]

Just now, ughgabriel said:

Wait till I post your review  

Rude border hopping bitch

 

Just now, Gastrodonatella said:

why are you making no sense today sis

N stop it was autocorrect

[ughgabriel]

Just now, Hug said:

The first/third lines use the second to last syllable for the rhyme.

 

"The crowd is drowned in ne-on

I'm floating out at sea"

 

I knew an AAAA rhyme scheme would get boring fast, so I disguised it a bit. ddd seems it worked!

Oh that's clever! So no, it wasn't really obvious and it worked very well  

[ceremonials]

Just now, Corsola said:

I believe it!

And you'll be lower than both of us!

[Hug]

3 minutes ago, Gastrodonatella said:

why are you making no sense today sis

Empowering legend

[ughgabriel]

Just now, Corsola said:

At least I managed to write an actual song even though it was beyond rushed and through writer's block  

Stop fighting  
You both got zeros from me xo