Hug Posted October 20, 2020 Posted October 20, 2020 I had a dream that I came third and sa comeback contestant won the round. That would be quite the narrative! ?
ATRL Moderator Ampersand13 Posted October 21, 2020 ATRL Moderator Posted October 21, 2020 This is giving me anxiety lol
Hug Posted October 21, 2020 Posted October 21, 2020 Just now, Ampersand13 said: This is giving me anxiety lol Me every round
ATRL Moderator Ampersand13 Posted October 21, 2020 ATRL Moderator Posted October 21, 2020 1 minute ago, Hug said: Me every round we got this!
Hug Posted October 21, 2020 Posted October 21, 2020 1 minute ago, Ampersand13 said: we got this! I sure hope we got this considering all the drop outs every round ?love that we weren't scared of this challenge though
fountain Posted October 21, 2020 Posted October 21, 2020 @ughgabriel you forgot to put Courtney Love’s round 2 reviews in the OP. They’re here, I only realised because I’m going back and reading all of mine again
TROPICUM Posted October 21, 2020 Posted October 21, 2020 so sorry I couldn’t submit last week, i was flooding with homework and exams. please let me know when i can do a comeback round!
Courtney Love Posted October 21, 2020 Posted October 21, 2020 @Hug - The Score Spoiler “Especially if you're Courtney </3” lmaooo. I actually really enjoyed reading your description and seeing where your thought process came from. It was really well laid out (also me being a Virgo helped keep my interest a little more lol). “The Score” making sense for both realms of music and sport. But also having that other interconnecting meaning! This is wonderfully crafted. I loved the openings of each person’s verse being opposite of each other, like an ending and beginning with the one welcoming the birds back, while the other waves them goodbye. I also really liked how it didn’t come across as forced either. Percy would be more open to listening to songs the birds were singing, where as Virgil is highlighting his worry like the birds when they leave. My favourite section was Percy’s, just on personal preference and how strong the imagery was. I did have a little nitpicking critique about how in Virgil’s prechorus. I think the animal similes and metaphors should’ve ended at ‘I’ll protect you like a lion’. Going on to use ‘deer’ and ‘wolves with hungry eyes’, just comes across as too much in such a small number of lines. It just took me out of the song at that point. But this is just me nitpicking and I think it’s better to give some kind of critiques than just to say how brilliant the rest of the song is! @Ampersand13 - Mr. Aquarius Spoiler I had to research a little about what Aquarius traits are/ what the age of Aquarius means so I could get a little more context of the song. However, I’m still stumped on some of the ideas in the song and how it relates to this phenomenon. Verse 1 personifies the age of Aquarius as a predator predating ‘reason and rhyme’ which is a really fascinating idea I think. ‘Washing in the holiest of lights’, is a great analogy for the stars, that are also super important for the rest of the song. The chorus was full of impactful imagery, with the stars being used as a means to show how everything came to be. I liked that idea of how forceful it was too, considering Mr. Aquarius is meant to be this predator. Verse 2 changes my idea of the song a bit. It’s not just a song about an animalistic predator, but also one involving intimacy, which makes sense with Age of Aquarius. I’m kinda of a bit luke-warm to this song at the moment. I probably need to read it a few more times to truly ‘get it’ I think. But I think as the second verse comes in although to the bridge and you start mentioning the metamorphosis, I start to get the idea, and like it a lot more. I wish I just had a grounding for this song. @funnellegs - "something like kintsugi" Spoiler I hadn’t heard of kintsugi before so I was really happy to learn about it and your explanation really drew me in to your song because it’s an excellent concept for the type of song you wrote. When I googled kintsugi, there was a picture of pottery with a kinda golden residue filling in the cracks and I thought that imagery really went with the lines: “now I don’t bleed but the cuts run deep”. That whole verse really was a great set up for the idea of this song. Something new is here, after surviving. ‘But it was time that pulled my hand along’ is such an excellent line. My heart actually started to break when I read this line the first time, alongside the verse it’s associated with (I was also listening to some piano music in the background so it probably added to it lmao). I really loved how so honest this song came across. When you wrote ‘life is calling out for me now/ but I’m not ready just yet’, I really connected with this. I think what’s fascinating about this song is how the chorus changes it’s meaning (or possible the tone of it?) each time it reappears. It just gets more heartbreaking after each repeat. But then we reach the appearance and there’s this glint of hope, that you did so well. Such a brilliant song. @Astronomy - NOTHING! (is ever as it seems) !! / LUCID DREAMING Spoiler The first verse really set up this idea that something is not right here combined with a little bit of paranoia towards, really well. There’s also this hint of chaos with the line ‘motions with no ounce of formality’ – Great foresight for what happens in the outro when we see that this dream has descended into a nightmare. Continuing this mental anguish of what is real and what is not throughout which is great. Reading LUCID DREAMING as a continuation of this chaos and darkness is seamless. The imagery is really impactful. I was hanging onto every word rooting for the girl to get away. Then we reach the end and the lines ‘Am I lucid dreaming, or is this more real than I know?’ starts to sound really eery. I think there are many similarities of this song to certain events that have happened and that’s the take home I got from it, particularly with some of the descriptions of the things chasing her and the environment surrounding her. Then the song becomes super hearbreaking. Which I think you set up really well. Really excellent job on this. @Dessy - The Edge of Time Spoiler The first and second verse give me an idea that there is not much time left and something is going to happen soon, so there’s of pressure and resistance. However, the people don’t seem to realise, or their actions don’t seem to imply they know what’s happening. When they have the ability to improve their circumstances, they’re not. I think you presented this idea really well, and the understanding that this song is about the theory of special relativity of time moving/ feeling differently really adds to this section I felt, giving it many layers. I liked that the chorus gave some understanding to why the people would act like nothing is happening/going to happen, and I think it’s done really well, I was kinda just hoping for a little more I think. It’s kinda bare to me in this section, compared to how full the verses feel. Verse 3 brings in another concept, that the people are too busy focusing on other things to really seek out acceptance/ hope for changing the path from destruction. Again, this idea is written really well. ‘From the year of hell spring the new ways’. Really great closure. @firecrotch - lying girl Spoiler I think this is a really powerful song that you wrote. I liked the use of the immaculate conception and the religious themes used in it. It’s a really upsetting concept when people choose religion as a barrier to comforting people who have experienced trauma. I think this is definitely your strongest entry. I liked the flashforward to being 22 and still carrying around this trauma, not only of the sexual assault but also how the town shunned her. Really sad. However, there are some issues I felt: As much as I tried, it’s hard to really connect with the song because it’s too black and white. What makes connection is showing the nuance, showing the grey areas. And I don’t mean in that the sexual assault being a grey issue (because it’s clearly not), but more so the mother being so cold. I think the best way to do show the grey and the nuance, is context. We need to know why the mother may have reacted the way she did, to a point where she scorns her daughter after disclosing that she was raped. Because otherwise it comes across as just not really being believable. A way to this is, show how the mother said the words or how the daughter reacted, give some type of emotion to the lines. It really would’ve given some depth and nuance to the girl as well as the mother that would’ve helped me connect to this song more. But overall, I think this is the best song you've written, which I feel like I say every single time you submit a song so that's great! @Rence - name Spoiler I’m not sure how I feel about this song. I think it meets the criteria enough tho so that’s not the issue. It’s a very beautiful reflection piece I think. This person lived a very hard life from a very early age and it shows in that the end they have to ask the doctor to document who they were in their final days. The verses also highlight this reflection on life well I think. Although I wish there was a bit more description. And I think that’s my big issue with this song, it’s not grounded in examples enough. scars still burn from the pain of the past I’ll turn to ashes until the moment lasts when time passes it will forget I exist and one day I’ll only be dust in the wind Is a very beautiful verse. But it doesn’t have much impact because there’s no previous grounding in reality i.e. experiences and examples. The experience given is vague (of having to leave due to a fight I’m assuming?). You’re usually great at balancing this, but I’m not too sure about this song, for me. I don’t think it needs a huge overhaul, but just some concrete examples of how this person was in life – without being too vague. The chorus really encapsulates the worry of being forgotten, as well balancing the worry of actually dying. Which is great because it’s one of the first instances in the song of recognising that death is a real, physical thing that happens. Overall, I still really liked this song. Even with these critiques, the song is still written so well, as per usual. @keshaspearsxo - T A Spoiler I’m a little confused as to why you gave two different dates for your birthday lmao. My favourite song was T A so I’m only going to be judging that (however i did like both songs). I Really enjoyed reading this. I think it’s one of your best. The meter was so tight as well. I liked how it represented the concept of emerging from destruction. Really great idea. @Aurora - Ripple Spoiler I think this is really well written and the theory is definitely a huge part of this song. I guess it’s just a little too short for me. While I’m not a huge fan of huge existential questioning in song, because I think it’s been done to death, I do want to say that it your take on it is wonderfully crafted and it must’ve taken time to lay it out the way you did with such precision and clear meter still throughout. ‘I know our universe remains expanding yet still I feel this lack of understanding does all that’s in a lifetime truly matter if life is all surrounded by dark matter’ I really loved these lines, I think they’re brilliant and I really connected to it. Overall, I did like it. I liked it so much I wish there was more! @8thPrince - Stained Glass Spoiler Just from the intro, I knew I was going to fall in love with this song. ‘I’m a pane of stained glass, assembled to view Just a window to look at, not one to look through’ This is really, really brilliant. Such a great way to convey that ‘role model example’ someone is meant to be. The chorus really capsulates the issues this person is going through and stress they’re under that they feel they need to make up lies ‘Overcome with the thought to take my baseball bat, Shatter a car window, and never look back I don’t know why in the world That idea sprung to mind But God knows that’d be the first time I had control in my life’ This is a really great line too and adds even more depth to this song I felt. Trying to find control, instead of having the influence of other people forcing you to be perfect was really explored so well in this song. Overall, this was a really powerful piece that I feel like a lot of us can relate to. Great job.
Courtney Love Posted October 21, 2020 Posted October 21, 2020 I'm finding it so cool that everyone left has such different approaches to song writing, from literary and high concept to straightforward story-telling.
ughgabriel Posted October 21, 2020 Author Posted October 21, 2020 I'm finding it so cool that every judge left has such different approaches to critiquing, from objective and fair reviews to biased messes.
fountain Posted October 21, 2020 Posted October 21, 2020 9 minutes ago, Courtney Love said: I’m a little confused as to why you gave two different dates for your birthday lmao. 13 minutes ago, Courtney Love said: My favourite song was T A so I’m only going to be judging that (however i did like both songs). I Really enjoyed reading this. I think it’s one of your best. The meter was so tight as well. I liked how it represented the concept of emerging from destruction. Really great idea. Thanks very much!
Courtney Love Posted October 21, 2020 Posted October 21, 2020 1 minute ago, ughgabriel said: I'm finding it so cool that every judge left has such different approaches to critiquing, from objective and fair reviews to biased messes. There is a reason why i don't read your rihviews anymore (and @Prisoner's). After seeing your rankings last week? Either some of the contestants are on a payroll or you've you had a top 3 in mind before you started this game
8thPrince Posted October 21, 2020 Posted October 21, 2020 12 minutes ago, ughgabriel said: I'm finding it so cool that every judge left has such different approaches to critiquing, from objective and fair reviews to biased messes. 2 minutes ago, Courtney Love said: There is a reason why i don't read your rihviews anymore (and @Prisoner's). After seeing your rankings last week? Either some of the contestants are on a payroll or you've you had a top 3 in mind before you started this game drama ---- time to read! (omg only 10 entries)
ughgabriel Posted October 21, 2020 Author Posted October 21, 2020 15 hours ago, keshaspearsxo said: @ughgabriel you forgot to put Courtney Love’s round 2 reviews in the OP. They’re here, I only realised because I’m going back and reading all of mine again But did I really forget about it? ?
ughgabriel Posted October 21, 2020 Author Posted October 21, 2020 7 minutes ago, Courtney Love said: There is a reason why i don't read your rihviews anymore (and @Prisoner's). After seeing your rankings last week? Either some of the contestants are on a payroll or you've you had a top 3 in mind before you started this game I was going to drag but you did make some points about Prisoner sabotaging this certain contestant
firecrotch Posted October 21, 2020 Posted October 21, 2020 sorry its not letting me tag ppl rn, @ courtney love: thank you so much for your review! I'm glad you like it and the message I was going for was understood. you are a brilliant critic. i'm really shook at how much this whole contest has helped me but really, your words could not be more helpful. thank you thank you thank you
Courtney Love Posted October 21, 2020 Posted October 21, 2020 Just now, firecrotch said: sorry its not letting me tag ppl rn, @ courtney love: thank you so much for your review! I'm glad you like it and the message I was going for was understood. you are a brilliant critic. i'm really shook at how much this whole contest has helped me but really, your words could not be more helpful. thank you thank you thank you Thank you so much, let me just tag @ughgabriel and @Prisoner so maybe they'll learn what a real critique is
Courtney Love Posted October 21, 2020 Posted October 21, 2020 @firecrotch but I'm glad you can see where I'm coming from and it's of some benefit to you. Your songs have gotten so much better from your first one. It's great to see!!
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