Overprotected Posted September 3, 2020 Posted September 3, 2020 7 minutes ago, Overprotected said: Um no Lanturn No, sentret!
ughgabriel Posted September 3, 2020 Author Posted September 3, 2020 4 minutes ago, Overprotected said: Um swalot eyes are closed and lips are split they call me swalot, swalot poison type, but not the type who spits you know i swallow, swa- lots
ughgabriel Posted September 3, 2020 Author Posted September 3, 2020 Hurricane326 - Mew luckystrike - Zweilous Astronomy - luvdisc minho - Klefki Ampersand13 - Suicune Dessy - Galarian Moltres Rence - Kecleon keshaspearsxo - Meloetta selena_lavigne - Venasaur OreGuy - Doduo Gastrodonatella - Eldegoss Overprotected - Sentret
smholiv Posted September 3, 2020 Posted September 3, 2020 i'm going to change mine for now because i got a new idea: Hurricane326 - Mew luckystrike - Zweilous Astronomy - luvdisc minho - Absol Ampersand13 - Suicune Dessy - Galarian Moltres Rence - Kecleon keshaspearsxo - Meloetta selena_lavigne - Venasaur OreGuy - Doduo Gastrodonatella - Eldegoss Overprotected - Sentret
fountain Posted September 3, 2020 Posted September 3, 2020 15 hours ago, ughgabriel said: In 3rd place we have this enigmatic contestant who we don't know at all but they seem to know us very well... He even wrote a song after our favorite letter Hide contents It's "D" by pseudo@Temporal REVEAL YOURSELF! ? 23 hours ago, Courtney Love said: @Temporal - D Hide contents The lyricism is just really brilliant throughout this whole song. I really liked that when you’re addressing the person/community, it feels like you’re constricted in what you can say, where as your verse and pre chorus are much more free-flowing with your thoughts which I think is brilliant song writing and really conveys the nervousness of the ‘us vs them/ difference’ message of the song. That’s what I pulled from this song, but I could totally be wrong. Either way, I really engaged with this piece. Overall, I really enjoyed the song and can’t wait for your next entry. On 9/2/2020 at 10:21 PM, Prisoner said: Temporal - "D" Hide contents I wish I could give you the review I want to but I'm having the worst headache and the reviews are delayed as is so I'll just give you a summarised version of my thoughts. I'm really sorry for this. The first stanza of verse one starts out with a really nice imagery. I immediately felt engaged. Then the greatness really starts with the next two stanzas. This part is so relatable and the words and phrases used are just great like 'crowd', 'discernment', 'fistful of dirt', I can't think of better words myself to describe the feeling presented here. The line 'As the sky and the ground neither want custody' almost made me tear up. The feeling of not being wanted by God nor man is really laid out here. The use of the word 'custody' also really added the emotional impact. It's like a child being rejected by her two parents and that line just really broke me. The pre chorus is also a really nice section itself. But the greatness really continues with the chorus. I love the sarcastic tone found here in some of the lines. I think that really shows the progress of the narration with how the styles change from stanza one to this chorus. The continued use of the dirt imagery here is also really nice. (This was the part where I realised that the D is about dirt. I thought you just chose a random word for your title nnn.) There's so many highlights here but the one which stood out to me the most was the final chorus. The way you build up this entry on and on and then to have that as the last punch? It was definitely worth it reading your entry. It's hard to make long entries work but when you have such a strong finish like you have here, it is almost always guaranteed to work. As for my criticisms, firstly I think the pre choruses could be a bit shorter. If we look at the first pre-chorus for instance, we have some lines that are just basically restatings of those of the first verse. It's not that they're bad lines themselves, but this could've been a chance to add something new and so keep the dynamic going. Besides that, I feel like verse two and pre-chorus two felt very underwhelming compared to the rest of the song. Again, these are not bad sections themselves, but for how great the first sections are and how long the song is, these sections feel like a chore to read through. Overall, I'm really impressed at your ability to come up with a very long entry while managing to keep it very engaging. Every section here is well thought out and the imagery used is one of the most effective of the round. On 9/2/2020 at 6:19 AM, Auburn said: Temporal - D I love how much this song made me think. Even after reading it thoroughly, I find it hard to confidently say what the secondary theme of the song is. I love that. This is quite lengthy, but even throughout all that, it is all really well written with minimal issues with meter and such. It does seem a bit thesaurus’d in some parts, but who doesn’t love a little Mariah moment dahhling! I’m impressed with this. On 8/31/2020 at 10:22 AM, ughgabriel said: @Temporal - D I find your title to be very intriguing. Now I feel like I’m craving something, I just can’t pinpoint what it is. You know, I’ve always thought that when someone takes the risk to write a lengthy song there’s room for a lot of standout moments, but also for a lot of flaws. And I have to say that you excelled with entry! I really loved the approach you took for this topic. The way you used this metaphor for the coming out experience was really outstanding. I believe that this process is really complex and you were able to give your song a lot of different layers to really showcase the peaks and the valleys of this experience. The freedom that comes from it; the feeling of being exposed; people turning their backs on you; denial; resignation; hopelessness; fullfilment. There’s a lot to dig in here. There is this really great choice that you made where your verses are more complex to portray the way some people still don’t understand how things are difficult for us in a social environment. As well as how these emotions are very complex as well and only people like us, who suffer from any form of segregation, could understand. And then you used a more simplistic vocabulary and word choices for your chorus because that section is aimed at another fellow member of the community. Which is the person who actually understands your point and all those things that you’re trying to express. It’s those little details that can elevate a song to great heights. Of course there is some gorgeous lyricism here and great choices such as the absence of gravity and the sleep paralysis. But what I’m trying to say is that there are a lot of talented writers here, so those intricate details you add to your song that give it more depth are what will make the difference. So I was very impressed with that. If I had to comment on something that I would’ve liked is maybe that I didn’t think the bridge was as strong as the rest of the song. It was not bad at all, but the constant repetition of “I love / I like” kind of kept losing impact with every time it was being repeated. I understood the message and though it was beautiful, but I thought the way it was delivered was kind of safe compared to the rest. Great entry! Welcome back! I meant to say thank you in a different way originally, but I can't now. So here's a more identifiable thanking for the reviews.
Hug Posted September 3, 2020 Posted September 3, 2020 Not that gabe caught it when I said it anyway, but I'm changing Zigzagoon to Sawsbuck! Hurricane326 - Mew luckystrike - Zweilous Astronomy - luvdisc minho - Absol Ampersand13 - Suicune Dessy - Galarian Moltres Rence - Kecleon keshaspearsxo - Meloetta selena_lavigne - Venasaur OreGuy - Doduo Gastrodonatella - Eldegoss Overprotected - Sentret Hug - Sawsbuck
Kelp Posted September 3, 2020 Posted September 3, 2020 Sorry for not signing up yet I just have no ideas
Lucky#17 Posted September 4, 2020 Posted September 4, 2020 Hurricane326 - Mew luckystrike - Zweilous Astronomy - luvdisc minho - Absol Ampersand13 - Suicune Dessy - Galarian Moltres Rence - Kecleon keshaspearsxo - Meloetta selena_lavigne - Venasaur OreGuy - Doduo Gastrodonatella - Eldegoss Overprotected - Sentret Hug - Sawsbuck Lucky#17 - Klinklang
ughgabriel Posted September 4, 2020 Author Posted September 4, 2020 1 hour ago, keshaspearsxo said: I meant to say thank you in a different way originally, but I can't now. So here's a more identifiable thanking for the reviews. What a comeback! Welcome back <3 You did great, can't wait to see what you're doing for this week's challenge
Hug Posted September 4, 2020 Posted September 4, 2020 from the album "Cinematic Parallels Between Dreams & Reality" Dreams | Reality Summer, Autumn, Winter, Spring | Rainbow of the Night ??? | ??? ??? | ??? ??? | ??? ??? | ??? ??? | ??? [tracklist and order subject to change, album cover coming soon tm]
Hug Posted September 4, 2020 Posted September 4, 2020 Oh and because I *did* say cinematic...we're getting movie posters too bitch!
Overprotected Posted September 4, 2020 Posted September 4, 2020 Everyone's budget let me leave my flop indie label
smholiv Posted September 4, 2020 Posted September 4, 2020 oop, we said movie posters? the 1st single coming ~
?????? Posted September 4, 2020 Posted September 4, 2020 Hurricane326 - Mew luckystrike - Zweilous Astronomy - luvdisc minho - Absol Ampersand13 - Suicune Dessy - Galarian Moltres Rence - Kecleon keshaspearsxo - Meloetta selena_lavigne - Venasaur OreGuy - Doduo Gastrodonatella - Eldegoss Overprotected - Sentret Hug - Sawsbuck Lucky#17 - Klinklang Julien - Arceus
Hug Posted September 4, 2020 Posted September 4, 2020 Oh and I sent btw. I love my song for this round and I'm really happy with how it turned out. I thought RotN was only okay but I'm so proud of this song.
TROPICUM Posted September 4, 2020 Posted September 4, 2020 Hurricane326 - Mew luckystrike - Zweilous Astronomy - luvdisc minho - Absol Ampersand13 - Suicune Dessy - Galarian Moltres Rence - Kecleon keshaspearsxo - Meloetta selena_lavigne - Venasaur OreGuy - Doduo Gastrodonatella - Eldegoss Overprotected - Sentret Hug - Sawsbuck Lucky#17 - Klinklang Julien - Arceus TROPICUM - Diancie
ceremonials Posted September 4, 2020 Posted September 4, 2020 I want to pick LEGEND porygon but i dont know if ill be able to make a song about him
fountain Posted September 4, 2020 Posted September 4, 2020 3 hours ago, ughgabriel said: What a comeback! Welcome back <3 You did great, can't wait to see what you're doing for this week's challenge Happy to be here!
ughgabriel Posted September 4, 2020 Author Posted September 4, 2020 1 hour ago, ceremonials said: I want to pick LEGEND porygon but i dont know if ill be able to make a song about him I mean, there’s a lot of routes you can take if you’re using a pokemon like porygon. I’d say go for it!
Hug Posted September 4, 2020 Posted September 4, 2020 1 hour ago, ceremonials said: I want to pick LEGEND porygon but i dont know if ill be able to make a song about him The story line about being blamed for something you didn't do while everyone hails the villain as the hero is RIGHT there
Auburn Posted September 4, 2020 Posted September 4, 2020 welcome back @keshaspearsxo --- I picked my Pokemon for this round even tho I'm not playing
ughgabriel Posted September 4, 2020 Author Posted September 4, 2020 42 minutes ago, Gastrodonatella said: i was really funny for this btw Wait, does that mean you’re not competing? ? or are you? ?
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