tournament ? DIAMOND HIT ? Farewell / Next Season Announcement pg.328 ?

[ughgabriel]

@Temporal I understand your critique and you're telling me what I did wrong but could you give me some advice to achieve those things that my songs lack  

[Aurora]

Kayn – “Katrina” (feat. Lucky the MC)

Spoiler

 

verse one – Kayn

I don’t look for love in bathroom lines, no

but I mighta done a couple bathroom lines, though

always sayin’ I can’t stop it just like Miley

tried to send me off to rehab just like Amy, oh

 

30 days, now I’m cleaner than your church shoes

that’s a reference; you don’t get it, I don’t **** with you

and now they tryna say I got a drinking issue

sure I do, I’m empty, someone pour another two?

 

refrain – Kayn

storm is coming

feel a storm is coming

keep on coming

drinks they keep on coming

 

verse two – Kayn

‘nother private party I’m attending solo

all the girls be dancing on me, gettin’ so low

grinding with a bitch who say she single

think I ****ed her boyfriend ‘bout a week ago

 

then another honey stole my full attention

that Versace, those Peruvian extensions

grab her waist and whisper, “Let’s skip all the tension,

what’s your name, I think that you forgot to mention?”

 

chorus – Kayn

it’s Katrina, Katrina

everybody’s seen her

making her way over

but nobody can impede her

focussed on her target

ain’t no chance of a reprieve, uh

swept into her stories

but you know you can’t believe her

or leave her

 

refrain – Kayn

storm is coming

feel a storm is coming

keep on coming

drinks they keep on coming

 

verse three – Kayn

paparazzi always creepin’ for that photo

but Katrina always workin’ on that faux pose

you won’t ever catch Katrina make a faux pas

‘cause at playing Hollywood, she’s a natural (disaster)

 

spending all my racks, this girl be costly

all the damage that she’s causing almost shocks me

even down Louisiana, Mississippi

she be killing it like, “Damn, who Kayn’s new main piece?”

 

chorus – Kayn

it’s Katrina, Katrina

everybody’s seen her

making her way over

but nobody can impede her

focussed on her target

ain’t no chance of a reprieve, uh

swept into her stories

but you know you can’t believe her

or leave her

 

verse four – Lucky the MC

you in the storm’s eye, paralysed,

drunk out your mind, or just blind?

it’s clear to see you gotta tell that bitch bye

filthy fame leech, keeps on sucking you dry

I don’t care if she’s good at sucking you dry

there’s a million other girls giving head right

but for now you really gotta get your head right

time to cut that bitch off, like a parasite

she a gold digger, hard hitter

don’t give a, long as her star’s gettin’ bigger

great figure, eight figures

spent at once, figure it’s time you pulled the trigger

I’m acquainted with these tragic situations

bad habits lead to rabid altercations

if we could rewrite that; alter actions

discover better ways to get our satisfactions

like trading bars for bars, speed for cars

hits for hit beats, features and feats

need some new heroine, not the kind from the streets

‘cause the current one you’re hittin’ isn’t hittin’ the brief

‘fore your reputation’s stolen by a glamorous thief

time to put it six feet under, no one’s laying a wreath

sayin’ time will heal all wounds, you ****in’ know what I say?

time is money, pay that bitch and make the pain go away

 

bridge – Kayn

there’s no escaping her

warning signs I ignore

think she’s done this before

there’s no replacing her

conquered all in her path

but it still ain’t enough

 

chorus – Kayn

it’s Katrina, Katrina

everybody’s seen her

making her way over

but nobody can impede her

focussed on her target

ain’t no chance of a reprieve, uh

swept into her stories

but you know you can’t believe her

or leave her

 

refrain – Kayn

storm is coming

feel a storm is coming

keep on coming

drinks they keep on coming

 

genre – alternative r&b • trap • hip hop

[Hug]

I should get to the second half, huh? I will do that now.

[khalyan]

I'm on a dark theme I can't read black font anymore :( 

[Hug]

One of y'all need to delete yourselves.

[Aurora]

39 minutes ago, jpow said:

I'm on a dark theme I can't read black font anymore :( 

A mess, a kii, a cackle. I didn't even realise it copied the black colour, of course. Fixed it fat.

 

Also, this Blackout theme is kinda slaying! Lemme keep it for a while.

[fountain]

I am gonna try to do results tomorrow BUT I'm going to see Green Day so I'll be gone all day and dead afterwards so it depends how I feel. But I definitely intend to so long as I have all the scores 

[SaintWest]

2 hours ago, Hug said:

Basically, you're someone nobody thought was a threat, but you're gonna come out of nowhere and stomp on the girls late game.

thank you sis.

[Hug]

 (This is all of them. Sorry if you already saw your song, but due to how the doc pears made was formatted, I couldn't be asked to erase the ones I did before.)

 

Fat Rat Records:

 

@funnellegs - Tiny Hands/Dear Sister

Well, you said it was pretty self-explanatory, but I am actually confused as to what you were going for here. I thought, at first, this was about a baby sister that died before she could even grow up, but then the way you worded the chorus made me think of something different. Specifically, “you’ll always be her first born, her baby boy.” made me think “wait, is this person trans?” I’m just really lost as to what the theme is. I also couldn’t help but feel some words could be omitted with no consequence, in the chorus particularly. “Tiny hands don’t you let go of me / There’s so much more left for you to see”, where you keep the bolded words. It would help the song not feel as if it runs on.

 

@Corsola - Stained Glass

Okay, let’s just get some things out of the way first. “But when the darkness attacks I shatter

/ Turning me into just a disaster” this line made me mad because you had a great idea and executed it poorly. Here, I will even rewrite it for you. “But when the darkness rises, I shatter / From a work of art to a disaster”. I also don’t like your place/disgrade word choice. Yellows/exposed is the biggest reach for a rhyme I think I’ve seen all season. Now, with that out of the way, I love the idea of stained glass being like two different parts of you, and for the most part, it works well. I particularly love your first verse. That, to me, was the best example of your idea working. I want to give a special mention to the extended chorus, and the lines “...Why I want to hear people say they love my shades / Yet I'll never be able to tell myself the same”, and these two lines alone tell me that there’s more that we need to see from you as a writer, and it makes me look forward to seeing what you do in the future.

 

@jpow - Paranoia

This is sufficient...for a round 3 entry. It feels too bland at this point, though, and we’ve seen you do better. I won’t sit here and tell you that it’s bad; it’s not...it’s just very tried and seen before, and it’s disappointing.

 

@8thPrince - Erased

Deceased. This was such a bittersweet way of telling a story, and you captured the essence of loss so perfectly. The simple details that others would consider minor, irrelevant even, were all so important in making this work, and that’s what I love so much about this. I don’t have enough nice things to say about this entry, just brilliant all around.

 

@ceremonials - Relic

This was imagery-laden. I don’t know what these images mean, however, so they’re effectively pretty words. I mean, I’ll take it since I love pretty images, but I still think knowing what it is they’re connecting to, giving them a purpose, is important. You are free to tell me what these images are supposed to represent, though, I haven’t finalized scores yet!

 

Birthright Ent.:

 

@Kunst - Lately

Once again, you’ve really intrigued me with your entry because it’s so polarizing to me. On one hand, you have things that, had I not been a judge, would’ve told you to fix before submitting; very easy changes, mind you, that would’ve really taken this higher. For instance, you didn’t need to describe the veins as “busy”; it didn’t add anything to the statement. For the “a hundred faces in the mirror, none of them is mine”, are mine would be proper grammar. I specifically chose your first verse to pick at because even with my critiques about it, I really can not help but love it. The demons swimming in your veins line was a great way to describe being under the influence of drugs, and even though the colors line half seemed like they were there for imagery, I could see the point behind it and I thought it was the perfect way to end that verse. It’s these things that tell me that you do know what you’re doing, but you just need a bit more time for the small changes that make the entry all the better. Something else I want to touch of is your chorus. The “daydream” / ”bloodstream” rhyme felt forced to me, and a bit unneeded. The ending of the chorus was great, though, and I think it was an eloquent way to basically say you’re addicted.

 

So, typically the label heads would say whether or not they would hire the people who wrote for their label or not, but this time, pear decided against it. At any rate, I still think contestants would want to know, hypothetically, if they would be hired. For you, I would say: Yes, but we’d need to get our camp to fix the song a bit before releasing the final version.

 

@Aurora - Katrina

You know, despite my label write up making it sound all serious, I DID want people to have fun with my label, and it really looks like you did. You had a lot of clever word play here, and you explored some of the issues I highlighted specifically, like his drug addiction and his bisexuality, and all in a way that I thought was very fun (and edgy! Which I loved about it, by the way.) This really makes me sad that we aren’t choosing who we are hiring for bonus points, because I think this will be very polarizing as an entry, but personally, I would hire you instantly!

 

@ughgabriel - The Neon Demon

What is it with people using weird adjectives to describe their veins for Kayn’s songs? This is my only complaint for you, though, because wig. Once again, you have a wonderful sense of meter that I can easily pick up a rhythm to, and you paint a vibrant image with your word choice, all while keeping it within what I wanted from my label. If we were actually hiring people, you’d be hired for sure.

 

@TheCheetahwings - Drown You Out

I was really surprised to see you went with my label, but I figured “Hey, he must be wanting to expand his horizons and ditch the relationship songs”, but this really just felt like another one of those. It took me reading it a couple times, but I think I understand your song now...it’s about him leaving a girl for a guy? It’s an interesting take on my label, but not so interesting coming from you where you’ve dealt with relationships all season. I think this was a wasted opportunity from you, and if we were hiring people in this challenge, I don’t think I’d hire you.

 

@UFO - Blanket

I thought this was...sufficient. It’s not remarkable or anything, but there’s not much wrong here, either.  I liked the first two lines of your first verse, and typically, I wouldn’t even bother pointing it out, but I’m doing so because you said choices twice. Typically, that’s something I would drag, but I think it worked here. As silly as it sounds, that’s probably my favorite part of the song. Really random, I know. Anyway, if I were to hire people...I’m not entirely sure on this one. It seems like it’s bordering on edgy, but not quite there, and if his label REALLY wanted that one song to send to radios for promotion, I suppose this could be it.

 

Wake With The Moon Records:

 

@Jackson - Lilac Fields

This was really poetic. I mean that both positively and negatively. As usual, you have a way with words I cannot help but admire, yet this felt oddly wordy and lengthy for what would be considered a song. This was most evident, to me, in the prechorus. “Political belligerence turned havens into hell” for instance, is quite a mouthful to try and picture sung. I also thought all of two lines you had for the bridge were good, but it seemed like you only put it there because you really liked those lines and didn’t want to throw them away. The bridge could’ve either been omitted or expanded upon, but as it stands, it just serves pointless. I suppose your chorus is nice as far as making it be more musical, but this entry felt like one way or the other with you, either great lyrically, or fitting as a song. I never felt both at once.

 

@Achilles. - Eyes Shut

Well, once again you sent something I could legitimately see being a song. I enjoyed that about the entry. I do want to say the bridge bordered on cheesy, but other than that, it was great.

 

@SaintWest - Till

Quotes that rhyme are still messy to me, BUT I do like how you handled this subject. I think it was really bold of you, and I can appreciate that. Also, besides for the quotes, I thought everything was done well, and even then, “He’s just guilty of his race” was a WIG moment. So, well done on handling a serious subject and not have it be either offensive or corny.

[Aurora]

Just now, SaintWest said:

thank you sis.

Lies! I been knew you were a threat #woke

[Hug]

idk if me editing in the @ s even heped

[Jackson]

Wow this is my Jopanned era 

[Achilles.]

Katrina is insane.  

 

 

I've definitely seen that bathroom line before somewhere, though.

[Hug]

Oh, since you're here, I'm really sorry I said basically nothing to you, Achilles. I just couldn't think of the words. A Jackson syndrome.

[Achilles.]

6 minutes ago, Hug said:

Oh, since you're here, I'm really sorry I said basically nothing to you, Achilles. I just couldn't think of the words. A Jackson syndrome.

 

It's all right.  

[SaintWest]

11 minutes ago, Hug said:

Oh, since you're here, I'm really sorry I said basically nothing to you, Achilles. I just couldn't think of the words. A Jackson syndrome.

Since you're here, is there anything else you'd say about my entry? Maybe I'm reading your review wrong, but I feel like you liked it, and it's still an improvement, but there's just still something missing that would push it to the next level as some of the other entries. You don't have to respond with a long winded response, I'm just curious.

[Aurora]

13 minutes ago, Achilles. said:

Katrina is insane.  

 

 

I've definitely seen that bathroom line before somewhere, though.

It was a sample from another song in a previous season.  It reminded me of a lyric in We Can't Stop so that's why I followed it up with the Miley reference too.

 

And thank you.  

[Hug]

5 minutes ago, SaintWest said:

Since you're here, is there anything else you'd say about my entry? Maybe I'm reading your review wrong, but I feel like you liked it, and it's still an improvement, but there's just still something missing that would push it to the next level as some of the other entries. You don't have to respond with a long winded response, I'm just curious.

Well, I already said it in your review, but I thought the quotes rhyming brought the entry down a bit. Other than that, it was a really strong entry. If it appeared differently, then I suppose I didn't choose my words well enough.

[ughgabriel]

8th is coming for that #1  

[khalyan]

Mess at Temporal saying it was my best song this season, and Hug saying he's disappointed because he's seen better  

[Temporal]

49 minutes ago, Jackson said:

Wow this is my Jopanned era 

 

[Aurora]

31 minutes ago, ughgabriel said:

8th is coming for that #1  

I only saw half of his song but I was slain, I wanna see the full.

[Hug]

Just now, Aurora said:

I only saw half of his song but I was slain, I wanna see the full.

Leak it 8th

[Aurora]

2 minutes ago, Hug said:

Leak it 8th

the bit about the portrait and furniture left my scalp as bare as the room he was describing  

[Jackson]

He posted his song last night