SaintWest Posted January 30, 2017 Posted January 30, 2017 I was expecting another meh review, but at least the overall consensus is I'm improving.
SaintWest Posted January 30, 2017 Posted January 30, 2017 8 hours ago, keshaspearsxo said: @SaintWest For the most part I thought this was ok. The numbers gimmick was rather childlike. The meter was quite good and catchy, this was by far your best entry in those terms. The lyrics were a bit lacking in depth. And certainly not everything has to be deep, but, this is more of a The Greatest than a Breathe Me. So if you're going for that, you succeeded with that! I'll take ok. I was trying to find a middle ground on this one. Your last review of my song was basically that it was trying to be too metaphorical, and I cluttered it up with a lot of unnecessary imagery that made the story all over the place and confusing. You also had a problem in earlier rounds with my lack of originality. With Numbers Boy, I was trying to find a unique, but simple concept that wasn't overly metaphorical and one theme I could stick with throughout to focus my writing. The numbers bit was definitely a gimmick, but I wasn't intending for it to be chidlike. I was worried about trying to do too much or really reach for a theme because I think that's what kills me every round. I definitely wasn't going for something super deep like Breathe Me, but I was hoping for a little more of a punch than The Greatest. Nonetheless, thanks.
Jackson Posted January 30, 2017 Posted January 30, 2017 Quote Obviously this theme is very relevant right now and the connection to Berlin was very tastefully and nicely crafted. It's nice to see a song be politically charged without being in your face or overt. Quote Drag Donald Trump. No, but I think you handled the political commentary very well. It was subtle. Quote You kinda did that with the final chorus. I was kind of worried about the practicality of this song, but then you pulled through in the 11th hour to make it work. Wig. Quote I told you to step up your concepts and you totally did here, thanks! Kind of a titanic tea. this is much more impressive from you. ~edited~ comments to make it look like only good things were said about my song
SaintWest Posted January 30, 2017 Posted January 30, 2017 7 minutes ago, Jackson said: ~edited~ comments to make it look like only good things were said about my song Quote You kinda did that with the final chorus. I was kind of worried about the practicality of this song, but then you pulled through in the 11th hour to make it work. Wig. Yeah.
Denim Posted January 30, 2017 Posted January 30, 2017 3 hours ago, keshaspearsxo said: I don't think you have any idea do you I'm so confused
Jackson Posted January 30, 2017 Posted January 30, 2017 6 minutes ago, SaintWest said: Yeah. Girl we both know I'm gonna chart higher than you
SaintWest Posted January 30, 2017 Posted January 30, 2017 3 minutes ago, Jackson said: Girl we both know I'm gonna chart higher than you At least my song was more relatable than your anti-Trump, discriminatory propaganda.
SaintWest Posted January 30, 2017 Posted January 30, 2017 9 minutes ago, Corsola said: I agree It was an odd idea that was also executed VERY poorly but it made me take a step back and reflect so if down to earth entries is what you want from me then I think you'll get them Cor's comeback era is upon us.
ATRL Moderator khalyan Posted January 30, 2017 ATRL Moderator Posted January 30, 2017 37 minutes ago, SaintWest said: At least my song was more relatable than your anti-Trump, discriminatory propaganda. um
Jackson Posted January 30, 2017 Posted January 30, 2017 why did change to a pic of two cats in jpow's post
ATRL Moderator khalyan Posted January 30, 2017 ATRL Moderator Posted January 30, 2017 5 minutes ago, Jackson said: why did change to a pic of two cats in jpow's post I have an extension on Chrome that changes pictures of Trump to pictures of cats. Since Saint was talking about Trump, I'm sure the extension thought it was a picture of Trump and went ahead and changed it.
Cupid Posted January 30, 2017 Posted January 30, 2017 2 hours ago, SaintWest said: I was expecting another meh review, but at least the overall consensus is I'm improving. Did you read mine.
Jackson Posted January 30, 2017 Posted January 30, 2017 I don't usually like to get personal on here, but I just had a touching moment and wanted to share
SaintWest Posted January 30, 2017 Posted January 30, 2017 40 minutes ago, Cupid said: Did you read mine. Wait, I thought I had but I didn't. Thanks so much, sis. I'm glad you liked it.
swiftie13 Posted January 30, 2017 Posted January 30, 2017 I need a raise. Currently have 666 out of 687.5 dollars a month needed to survive in Philly. Snake her impact
ATRL Moderator khalyan Posted January 30, 2017 ATRL Moderator Posted January 30, 2017 43 minutes ago, Cupid said: Did you read mine. Will I get a real review from you?
Cupid Posted January 30, 2017 Posted January 30, 2017 Just now, jpow said: Will I get a real review from you? Yeah I was gonna write one after I figured out if you were still playing. I gave you a real score though. I'll try and do it tonight.
Jackson Posted January 30, 2017 Posted January 30, 2017 1 minute ago, swiftie13 said: I need a raise. Currently have 666 out of 687.5 dollars a month needed to survive in Philly. Snake her impact get that tax return filed henny
ATRL Moderator khalyan Posted January 30, 2017 ATRL Moderator Posted January 30, 2017 Just now, Cupid said: Yeah I was gonna write one after I figured out if you were still playing. I gave you a real score though. I'll try and do it tonight.
swiftie13 Posted January 30, 2017 Posted January 30, 2017 @Jackson my boss made a sign that says mind your own buiscuits and life will be grave and directly credited Kacey. Impact
swiftie13 Posted January 30, 2017 Posted January 30, 2017 Just now, swiftie13 said: @Jackson my boss made a sign that says mind your own buiscuits and life will be gravy and directly credited Kacey. Impact
Jackson Posted January 30, 2017 Posted January 30, 2017 5 minutes ago, swiftie13 said: @Jackson my boss made a sign that says mind your own buiscuits and life will be grave and directly credited Kacey. Impact Life will be grave? :( She probably read my sig
Jackson Posted January 30, 2017 Posted January 30, 2017 Pears hasn't been online for like 6 hours but he said afternoon in the US
Temporal Posted January 30, 2017 Posted January 30, 2017 13 minutes ago, Corsola said: Well he always says results will be at night for the US then doesn't actually post them until like 5am EST Lash ha
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