tournament ? DIAMOND HIT ? Farewell / Next Season Announcement pg.328 ?

[ughgabriel]

reviews are comiiiiiiiiing

[Aurora]

RT if you're more shook than a mountain undergoing an earthquake.

[Jackson]

are they? 

[Jackson]

Just now, Aurora said:

RT if you're more shook than a mountain undergoing an earthquake.

only a Mexican mountain 

[ughgabriel]

express that bean love!

[Tylerbv]

whew i forgot this was still a thing sincd i dropped out forever ago

 

grats whoever idk im too lazy to read

[Aurora]

Just now, Jackson said:

only a Mexican mountain 

RT if you're following the stars to the results.

[Jackson]

1 minute ago, Aurora said:

RT if you're following the stars to the results.

RT if you won't get my RT in the water 

[Aurora]

Just now, Jackson said:

RT if you won't get my RT in the water 

RT if you're going Diamond this season.

[ughgabriel]

RT if you like to RT

[Jackson]

1 minute ago, Aurora said:

RT if you're going Diamond this season.

RT if you're stardust trapped in an hourglass 

[Temporal]

LIVE footage of the winner's circle looking at the finalists of which one shall join them

 

 

[Aurora]

Just now, ughgabriel said:

RT if you like to RT

RT

[Aurora]

Just now, Temporal said:

LIVE footage of the winner's circle looking at the finalists of which one shall join them

 

 

Zayn stanning Katrina, oh wow oh wow

[fountain]

Reviews

 

http://london.doverstreetmarket.com/ionnalee/

 

Pears

 

@Jackson - Amnesia - My main critique with this song in the first place was the chorus, so I'm glad you chose to change that. I can definitely say that this feels more in place in this song. The last chorus was jarring but this fits much better. It's still not the strongest chorus ever written, but it's an improvement. As for the rest, I already really enjoyed it in the first place.

Stardust - I literally gasped out loud reading this cause I was so excited.

Blood in the Water - I thought it was kinda weird to end the season on this song.. not that it's bad, but I feel like it doesn't really say much whereas the other's final songs did.

 

 

@ughgabriel - Prologue / Epilogue - I thought this song was pretty strong in the first place - but with such an interesting concept, there is always room for improvement. And I certainly think you did this here. My main critique before was that it felt like one outweighed the other in importance. I think both are really equal now and both provide interesting perspective to a very compelling story. 

Saturn's Rings - A lullaby to your younger self - I literally wanna cry it's so beautiful and cute. I love it.

Agoraphobia - I love the way you executed this. It truly feels like a moment of coming full circle - but the song stands alone on it's own and isn't JUST a closer. 

 

@Aurora 

Mountain - It was a 10 before and it's still a 10. The way you describe everything is just so serene and really takes the reader on a journey. I feel so fully submersed in this. A sign of such a great song.

Stars to Freedom - I was shook to my core seeing this after you had played the inspiring video of her talking in dub. I love how you took that and wrote around it. Truly a concept!

Diamond - This is an amazing way to end your journey. I particularly like how you describe your growth. And were those throwbacks to your old entries (even before this season) I noticed in there? I live for a throwback. 

 

Hug

 

Aurora

 

Mountain

You did well at keeping the original feel of the song, and the retouching is noticed. I didn’t think this would’ve been a good choice for retouching originally, but after seeing your reasoning behind it, I can totally get why.

 

Stars to Freedom

Well, I have a few things to say. “I remember hearing midnight threats of an eternal rain”...what does this mean? I apologize if that’s explained in the video, but for the sake of the challenge, I would hope to be able to get it without context. “A gamble with our lives to prove our lives had validation” I get the idea behind it, but saying ‘lives’ twice, especially if you were to say “they”, or something along the lines, would’ve worked just as well, felt off to me.

 

So, with the couple things I figured I’d point out, I will go on to say the way you handled the challenge was one that made total sense. A story-driven song would benefit from the lack of repetition, since we wouldn’t need those details again, and you had a good source of inspiration to draw from. I think my favorite part was “As I resurrect the fear I felt that night we slipped away / I realise it cowers to the fear of those who stayed”, it was a powerful sentiment.

 

Diamond

The way you chose to the handle the final song was fine, but it seems like it’s predictable at this point? Don’t fix something that isn’t broken, I suppose. While I do get a lot of the metaphors and what they’re supposed to mean, I’m wondering about some of them. “A kaleidoscope of colour / Made from white refracted light” what does this mean, for instance? In the context of your run here as a contestant. I suppose it could just be imagery for the sake of it, which would be very meta for PH!

 

Jackson

 

Amnesia (formerly Bottle)

The biggest (only?) problem I had with Bottle was that the chorus felt...uneventful, and although the new chorus is better, it still feels lacking, and thus it felt like an unneeded change. Otherwise, it’s still a great entry with wig moments.

 

Stardust

Wow, stan for Birthright Ent.! Anyways, the fact that you didn’t outright shove the fact that “Kayn” was talking about a guy in the song was nice (the use of ‘handsome’ was enough, not too much). I see you want with the astral imagery here, as well. I feel pandered to, but whatever because I did enjoy this entry a lot. I don’t have any complaints, actually! Would hire.

 

Blood in the Water

Well, this song has Bottle/Amnesia tea, in that I genuinely enjoyed everything except the chorus. I thought the drowning motif was...not needed. I think you might’ve done it ironically, even, but I can’t tell. The final chorus was better, but it still lacked a punch that could be felt through the verses.

 

Ughgabriel

 

Prologue / Epilogue

So, the biggest problem with ‘Prologue / Epilogue’, for me, was that it just felt like two songs, rather than a song transitioning from one perspective to another. I still get that vibe, but not much you can do at this point! ‘Epilogue’ was stronger than ‘Prologue’, in my opinion, and ‘Epilogue’ could’ve stood on its own.

 

Saturn’s Rings

Well, imagery wise, it’s cute. But what do the “stones” represent? My first thought was asteroids or something, but in the context of a song, that sounds like a bad thing, yet you’re giving these stones to your younger self? The line “...So meteorites wouldn't land / In your frail atmosphere” is what drew me to this conclusion. I did also think the “meteorites” could be people, and the rings are basically the walls someone would put up so nobody could hurt them, but then the line about giving the stones doesn’t make such sense since I figured one stone = one person. To make a long story short, the metaphors confuse me.

 

Agoraphobia

Okay, this was a bit surprising to me. It seemed like we should’ve saw this awhile ago. It does make sense, from a thematic standpoint, to end your run in such a way, but I can’t help but feel things such as easy rhyme choices (you, by extension, rhymed ‘desire’ and ‘fire’, for instance) and (albeit fitting) an overdone theme really bring the entry down. You know, the whole “I’m trapped” “I’m screaming and nobody can hear me” etc. motif is too typical for this point in the game. It could’ve been worse, but it could’ve also been better.

 

 

Temp

 

UghGabriel

Overall, though you may have started out with a Perfect Illusion, you eventually showcased one of the biggest breakthroughs in PH history, stepping on Ceremonials’ front loaded throat. There was a point this season where I felt that you somewhat faded into the background (sometime after your 1 - 3 - 1 - 3 stint) but you did standout at points regardless. “Prolouge/Epilouge” is still one of the boldest Platinum Hit entries I think I’ve ever read; you took as much space as you needed to display your full writing prowess, and it really shows. While the retouch still wasn’t perfect, you had so many moments in that song alone that took my breath away. Relating to that and your other songs - perhaps most specifically “Saturn’s Rings” - I think you try to do too much with too little. The imagery and words that you use feel like they sometimes miss the mark, like they’re not totally in agreement with one another, and that’s where your songs start to show their flaws. For example, “gunfire/fire” and the third verse of the aforementioned “Rings” don’t feel as polished and thought out as they should be. Lining up imagery, emotion, and rhymes within sections of a song and the song overall is how you make a piece punch, but with your last two finale songs, I felt that your punches were missing because of those co-ordination issues. All said and done, you finally got to capitalize on the momentum that PH8 and your unfortunately short stint in PH9 gave you, and you remain a dark horse that everyone has to account for.

 

Aurora

Overall, I think your entries were at the caliber one would and should expect of a finalist. After two seasons on the panel and looking back at all the entries I’ve read from you and other contestants, I think that even though you tried to steer away from the “mainstream” writing style, you still ended up in the middle of it. The formula of your writing is very apparent here: a central metaphor tied together by relevant imagery at every twist and turn, using every line as a way to introduce a new image or word. That seems to be the epitome of both my writing style - which also came through in our indie collab “Pyramid” - but also in other contestants like Moonchild and Jackson. I don’t say this in a negative or positive way necessarily, just an observation. You’ve pressed me to wonder if it’s best to keep imagery in a song so locked and key like the imagery in “Mountain” or if you can bring in different imagery like sailing in “Diamond”, and for that, I’m hard pressed for an answer. I’m rambling but ANYWAYS, down to the actual critiquE, I think you do best when the metaphor is very close to the surface, where it’s a simple A to B leap in logic. There were a few sparse moments where I felt that the jump was from A to C, which exacerbated your iconic-ly outrageous vocabulary in a negative light. There was one striking moment of error with “Out of a lyrical paralyze” - where “paralyze” should be “paralysis” but you really forced in the word to fit a rhyme - but there was an incredible amount of polish with “Mountain for instance this go around.” Overall you should be proud of not just your accomplishments this season, but with the level of work you just submitted.

 

Jackson

Overall, you had very strong moments with these entries and through this season. You, as you won’t let us forget, served #consistency this season in a way that no other Platinum Hit contestant has thus far. Like Aurora, I think your formula has started to emerge to me in a less clear way, but your aesthetic - your images, how you conceptualize and even what words pique your interest - is hard to miss. Though you write with a fairly hefty amount of imagery, there’s always a tinge of emotional weight to your lyrics that tilts them away from being indistinguishable with other writers in this game. Both “Amnesia” and “Stardust” really exemplify this, the “silver moonlight,” the “headlights” and the 40 other astral references throughout this collection all paint a picture of someone who loves wilderness, romance and fun, which all checks out with the bitch person I’ve come to know you over the past two years. Your stumbles here mainly lie in “Blood in the Water” which didn’t have a sense of originality or depicted a person like I mentioned above. The flow, meter and pacing were all very professional, but there wasn’t any metaphorical or even emotional punch that was needed to make this not just standout in your discography, but in this game in general. It felt much more like a filler Platinum Hit track than something I would’ve come to expect from the finale. Regardless, “Amnesia” and “Stardust” were both top notch, and almost textbook examples of great PH entries.

 

Citrus

 

Aurora – Ah, my ambitious little encyclopedia. I’ve only seen a small glimpse of you, but I know my ACT will increase as a result of it. Like with all of your entries, your finale collection presents a strong grasp of mechanics and a wide array of vocabulary that sets your songs apart as almost Bjorkian. I loved Mountain as it originally was, but I understand why it was changed (though I think moving it into a linear structure makes it lose some of the mysticism it had). Also, did not know eagles lived in rainforests, but apparently they live on every continent but Antarctica. Huh. Stars to Freedom is a cute concept that I really appreciate (@Jackson who wouldn’t let me do a similarly political tune for our duet). It falters here and there with line length not correlating to smoothness, but it’s not overwhelming. Diamond is perhaps the most enigmatic of your songs that I’ve read, and this is what inspired me to compare you to Iceland’s resident banshee. It’s very wordy and not always in a flowing way, but it doesn’t hurt the song. It comes across as some really sick poetry put to music, which, in this case, I enjoy. Overall, you’ve delivered a set of songs that embodies what you’ve done here. I’m not sure that Stars to Freedom lives up to its inspiration/fits in as well (story songs not seeming to be a thing you’ve done a lot of), but I appreciate the branching out. Good luck!

 

 

 

Jackson – Hello, again, old friend. You and I went from feuding ******s to twice topping the charts with out story song duets. I don’t feel like feeding your ego so let’s get to it. Amnesia suffers from the same thing that Bottle did. It was never the structure or rhyming, more so that there’s a lack of feeling in the song. It comes across as very phoned in and fake-emotional, even though I know that’s not what you intended. This probably sounds like a Hug critique because I’m saying you’re technically fine without providing anything to improve on, but, ultimately, the song lacks a soul. That’s what I have trouble with. Unlike a Hug critique though, I’m still scoring you pretty well for hitting all the targets well. Luckily, Stardust is gorgeous. The imagery is well-done and the topic shallow enough to not come across as faux-deep (tho wtf @ the “you look better than your pictures”, love yourself). This is probably my favorite song I’ve seen of yours, not counting Vilomah and Lake Erie because I own the copyrights to those. Blood in the Water is surprisingly weak for you. The topic (a gay man divorcing his wife to pursue his true self/commit suicide?) is strong but it’s too vague and the chorus is clunky (usually your strong point). Not bad, just not at all up to par with what I’ve come to expect from you. In conclusion, it’s been great watching you from multiple sides of the table this season. I think your strong suit is being able to combine emotional punches with dazzling imagery, and you do that the best you ever have in Stardust. You falter in some other places, but hey, not all of my #StorytellerByCarrieUnderwood can rub off. Good luck!

 

 

 

Gabe – Hola, mi hija. I wish that I had been able to see some of your earlier work, because it seems like your time while I was a judge involved a sort of discovery arc of sorts for you. Nonetheless, you’ve been able to turn in some solid work. Prologue/Epilogue works SO much better now that you’ve added in details, and it’s really cute seeing the impact that the death has even years later. No major complaints. Saturn’s Rings, however, suffers from the same problem that Prologue/Epilogue used to – there’s not an easily accessible point of investment for a listener. Well written, though, so points for that. I’m intrigued by the concept that you chose to explore with your final song, being afraid of everything and trying desperately to overcome it. I prefer your pre-chorus to your chorus if I’m honest, because the recall feels rather forced. However, it’s not a huge detraction point. You’ve brought a different flavor to this competition as the only finalist to speak more than one language fluently, and it has definitely come across in your writing (in good ways, giving you different perspective). You’re consistently a lovely person and always took critiques and applied them to your songs, which really shows in your growth. Good luck!

[Temporal]

1 minute ago, keshaspearsxo said:

Aurora – Ah, my ambitious little encyclopedia. I’ve only seen a small glimpse of you, but I know my ACT will increase as a result of it.

I'm already screaming

[fountain]

2 minutes ago, Temporal said:

LIVE footage of the winner's circle looking at the finalists of which one shall join them

 

 

if this was the actual winner's circle shouldn't half of y'all be...like, dead?

[Temporal]

2 minutes ago, keshaspearsxo said:

if this was the actual winner's circle shouldn't half of y'all be...like, dead?

I mean half of the people in that pic have dead careers so

[Jackson]

mess I don't know what to think after those reviews! Still shook. Thanks judges though! 

[Temporal]

Also WOW at me inventing retrospective Platinum Hit finale songs, inventive king

[Citrus]

Who will take my seat

 

ive kept it warm

[Jackson]

the way I was mentioned in TWO of Aurora's reviews #impact 

[fountain]

 

  

The Final results! 

  

The results have been calculated.  The winner is decided.

  

After four months of competing we come now to this - Aurora, Jackson and Ughgabriel - you surpassed everybody else this season and now compete for the crown. Sadly only one person can win obviously - and I wish you all could - so nevertheless, if you do or do not win I hope you don't feel let down at all. You've all achieved amazing things this season and, in being the final three, you truly are all winners.

  

Best of luck everybody.

[Jackson]

Good luck @ughgabriel @Aurora  

[fountain]

 

  

The Final results! 

  

Placing 3rd in the retouch song...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jackson with Amnesia