ughgabriel Posted March 1, 2017 Posted March 1, 2017 2 minutes ago, swiftie13 said: all the recordings were got were legit BOPS, oh my god Stan for Enemy and Predator I don't know if anyone else submitted a recording
Galah Posted March 1, 2017 Posted March 1, 2017 18 minutes ago, swiftie13 said: all the recordings were got were legit BOPS, oh my god 15 minutes ago, ughgabriel said: Stan for Enemy and Predator I don't know if anyone else submitted a recording I'd also like to know, did anyone else submit a recording? Gabe's was definitely a slay.
Temporal Posted March 1, 2017 Posted March 1, 2017 Again, I would download a more polished version of Predator, that served bop.
Temporal Posted March 1, 2017 Posted March 1, 2017 11 minutes ago, Aurora said: u looking at ur 1.2 from me this week
swiftie13 Posted March 1, 2017 Posted March 1, 2017 2 minutes ago, Temporal said: u looking at ur 1.2 from me this week omg he scored that high from you?
ceremonials Posted March 1, 2017 Posted March 1, 2017 Predator's melodies had me SHOOK i had ideas for melodies for mine but idk how to record or mix or anything
Galah Posted March 1, 2017 Posted March 1, 2017 8 minutes ago, Temporal said: u looking at ur 1.2 from me this week 5 minutes ago, swiftie13 said: omg he scored that high from you? y'all giving me a 1.2 score booster wow so kind thank u so much
Hug Posted March 1, 2017 Posted March 1, 2017 I wouldn't worry about anything I said earlier because I was cranky and feeling bitchy. I didn't even have scores at the time and like I said, nothing was final. I'm going to take more time to make sure I'm happy with my scores and rankings. Consider this backtracking if you want, because high-key it is because I felt bad.
ceremonials Posted March 1, 2017 Posted March 1, 2017 14 minutes ago, Hug said: I wouldn't worry about anything I said earlier because I was cranky and feeling bitchy. I didn't even have scores at the time and like I said, nothing was final. I'm going to take more time to make sure I'm happy with my scores and rankings. Consider this backtracking if you want, because high-key it is because I felt bad. put me above jackson x
ceremonials Posted March 1, 2017 Posted March 1, 2017 Psychic types always win http://play.pokemonshowdown.com/battle-gen7ou-540673537
swiftie13 Posted March 1, 2017 Posted March 1, 2017 (edited) @funnellegs @Aurora @Jackson @Corsola @ughgabriel @ceremonials @8thPrince Round 9 Reviews Funnellegs First of all, the recording is a bop! You definitely stuck to the challenge of writing to an instrumental and that was instrumental this week, hehe. However, lyrically this would not have been able to stand out on its own had it been any other week. There are a couple of brilliant moments, such as “I wanna find more than your ghost tonight,” and “Is this the cost of life’s labour of love.” Yet most of this entry is peppered with hackneyed, elementary concepts and delivery. Besides the easy rhymes, there are phrases such as “ride or die,” that rarely find a comfortable home in well written pieces. This entry felt like a placeholder for the melody (that did indeed work) but the lyrics need plenty of revision. Aurora Amazing performance! This legitimately feels like a real song both melodically and lyrically. Sometimes your stylistic and diction choices come off as clunky and sometimes even contrived but this felt so effortless. I would not call it dumbing down because smart language is not elevating an entry if it doesn’t belong, this is being more concise with your thoughts while still having flare. Ostensibly, this has awkward meter problems, but as you have shown, that doesn’t matter if you have a great melody (which is why I rarely nitpick on meter and such). Thanks for showing the other picky judges! The idea of sleeping with the enemy is an overdone one but you brought a Sam-ish quality to it that it doesn’t feel as cliche as it could have. There are terrific lines all over such as “Ego buried in the dirt,” “Another medal you adore,” and the RAP It was so perfect (and the PACE!!!). That part was so poetic but in a way that conveys song not AP English Comp. There were a couple, but very minimal, lyrical duds but nothing worth me complaining over. I was so impressed! Jackson The instrumental you chose was perfect for this song. It conveyed a sense of nostalgia and had a city-centric sound with worldly backdrops. Your song felt unique all throughout the piece. You included a lot of specific details such as street names and anecdotes but without losing any lyricism. That is beautiful songwriting. Songs about cities are either powerful or cheesy and you made a relatable, and touching entry about a place I have never been to (although my mom did live in Chicago after coming from Mexico. She didn’t have such a lovely recollection of it). Your rhymes seemed to roll off the tongue and every decision felt natural and precise. The outro was a wonderful conclusion that keeps the story going within you. For three weeks in a row, you have delivered a better entry than the week before. Keep up the good work! Corsola First of all, wonderful choice. I’ve played that game and its soundtrack is one of the best things about it. This feels like a folksy lullaby which the instrumental called for. It was short however, and your song feels longer than a minute and some seconds. ANYWAY. It’s very different from your usual entries but that’s good. It shows not only diversity but capability of branching out, a good quality in a songwriter. Every line in verse one kept building on the last and it was beautiful to read. It was poetic and gorgeous but also meaningful. There were some moments where I was in awe of certain linguistic antics such as, “frozen in a world of flames.” Clever juxtaposition! The rhyme scheme did feel a little off at times, so be more careful with that because while it doesn’t always disrupt a piece, it did here a couple of times. The refrain felt weaker than the verse but it has a repeatable quality about it which is important within the structure. The opening couplet of the second verse is easily your best lyrical moment to date. “Where my eyes are the only river,” the way that line just connects to the first and completes the punch. Woo. That’s imaginative and creative and beautiful! Keep doing that and less of whatever you did last week! The bridge could have been stronger. I liked the idea of the sandcastle but you didn’t explore further into it although this song BEGGED for it. You went back to being wordy but with less grace. This could have been condensed as you were being redundant for a couple of lines at a time. Overall, this was a huge improvement. ughgabriel CATEGORY 5 BOP ALERT! The lyrics formed a perfect marriage with Hug’s flawless instrumental! I love that you nailed the mood and stayed consistent throughout the piece. Although it wasn’t as lyrically impressive as your past entries, there’s a certain respect I have for writing a great melody to track, and that was part of the challenge this week, to convince us that the song was indeed written to track. I love the word play in the second verse, how it starts with pray but it could also mean prey! Slay the English language. This was sparse and laconic, different from your usual stuff but it works for the most part. There were, however, moments where the dark theme felt a little parody-like such as “for an entity whose soul’s impure,” although the meaning behind the line made sense, the actual line was awkwardly phrased and could be toned down a bit because it doesn’t sound natural. Nonetheless, another great effort! Ceremonials Hm, I recognize this artist (@jackson). Well I can see the similarities in their production style despite it being two different tracks. Anyway. You definitely took a different direction. It highlights the fantastical quality of the instrumental you used which is great. This feels like classic ceremonials talking about space and all and in a more seasoned and matured fashion. It read kind of like a homecoming after having read a couple of different entries from you. I love how short and sweet the lines were and none of them felt like they didn’t belong. You made each of them count. You stayed consistent to the celestial theme you have mastered as of this week. The bridge reminded me of Stangeness and Charm but with less charm. Ha. It was a step down from the overall quality and I could have done without it. It felt almost like too blunt for the rest of the song. “But it’s not quite as powerful,” is not lyrical at all. I will say, the concept is a little more simplistic than most others this week and it doesn’t stick out (as a concept) but as a piece, it’s a beautiful read. We don’t always need original or creative concepts if we know how to write. And well, you do. 8thPrince Apparently you are not tired of me just stanning your entries every week because that is about to happen again. First of all, the instrumental you chose was so different from everyone else’s and that was evident in your lyrics. They just fit so well within the composition. The attention to details you display is astonishing, it really elevates your writing. I love how certain things that I would never think of including in songs such as “air conditioner” just WORK within the context of your pieces, not only this week but every week. That is a sign of a writer who has found himself and has matured. Let me just say that “I jump each time I hear somebody mentioning your name / A child scared by branches tapping on the windowpane,” is my favorite PH lyric of all time. I get goosebumps every time I read it again. It’s such a powerful image that conveys the exact feeling that I’m very familiar with so PERFECTLY and I’ve never been so touched by a couplet like this one. You are well aware of the power of metaphors and you use them so well. I’m just in awe, week after week! Edited March 1, 2017 by swiftie13
swiftie13 Posted March 1, 2017 Posted March 1, 2017 All of you delivered this week and I'm not kidding. The best round I've ever judged.
Hug Posted March 1, 2017 Posted March 1, 2017 4 minutes ago, swiftie13 said: All of you delivered this week and I'm not kidding. The best round I've ever judged. The way I was underwhelmed. At least that wasn't all of us.
swiftie13 Posted March 1, 2017 Posted March 1, 2017 2 minutes ago, Hug said: The way I was underwhelmed. At least that wasn't all of us. some of us are human with human feelings that can relate to the beautiful lyrics to this week
Hug Posted March 1, 2017 Posted March 1, 2017 When I said I was disappointed then gave 5 9+ scores. Sent my scores.
swiftie13 Posted March 1, 2017 Posted March 1, 2017 Currently browsing: swiftie13 and 3 guests (4 total).
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