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PLATINUM HIT 11▴ congratulations aurora ♛

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@ultraviolence.xx – i smell fire

OK I kinda stan your voice? Can you sing too? As for the song itself, there were a couple times when this felt a little too “trying to be hood” (ie you is history). I was also DYING for you to rhyme why boy with white boy. The Quavo parts were also kinda unnecessary. There were a lot of good disses in here, though, and I hate Ed and Sam too so that helped! “You had humble beginnings with a face that was wrecked” was a kii!

 

 

@Tsareena – Asparagus Water

Internal rhyme in line one- you’re catching on! Rhyming a word with itself though (line 3, 6&7), a huge no no! Your forced rhymes didn’t seem quite as forced here, because it seems to be a major part of hip hop to utilize as many rhymes as possible. Dan Reynolds preached about this fake Instagram culture last night at the concert I was at, so great timing there. I have no idea what asparagus water is referring to… not sure if it’s a reference I just don’t get or if you’re being extra extra today. The second verse kinda stepped the game up. That’s what really spoke to me and what seemed to have your passion behind it. I think overall this challenge was kinda made for you, as it gave you the opportunity to be weird and unconventional, and allowed you to step outside typical writing boundaries while it’s often felt as though you were being suffocated by them in other rounds.

 

 

@SaintWest – I Kneel

That black/blue/red would have been cool if you could have fit white somewhere in it. WIG at the last two lines, I absolutely love “they say they’re colorblind, but only fear the darker shades”. That’s so powerful. You took this challenge exactly where I wanted to see it go. I could hear this being an actual rap song, and it’s honestly better than most (although it does feel pretty song-y. I wouldn’t explicitly know this was a rap if it wasn’t submitted for this challenge apart from subject matter and line length). But otherwise, really good job. I want to like tattoo half of these lyrics on my face.

 

 

@MattyTacos – Private Sanctuary

OK Hor and Adam and I’s impact with that title. F just reading that description of that song made this whole thing so PH. This didn’t particularly feel like a rap in any place, but I guess it works. I like this song and your last one better than most things you’ve submitted post S6, and you should probably stick to this style overall. The end of the first verse didn’t quite hit the mark, but it was still cool. The second half of the second verse was beautiful, but it was so poetic in a melodic way it kind of took away from the overall feel of the song. I would have appreciated a bridge as well to perhaps provide another view to the story, showing regrets or justifications or something to give it another dimension.

 

 

@keshaspearsxo – Billboards

Stop ghosting me then, pears. SMH. I thought this challenge would be interesting for you, considering rap is so far from your typical style. I did get a lot of hip hop elements from this, but a lot of it was still very poetic and song-like in a sung way, which I can’t really blame you for. I liked the whole premise of the chorus, but the flow of it should have been tighter to give the song a bigger punch overall. This song did feel quite personal, too, which is a definite plus, and it may be the longest song I’ve ever read from you, a kii.

 

 

@Aurora – Counterfeit

Is unrated necessarily a bad thing? Doesn’t that just mean it’s really inappropriate? That line was just an example of a few that didn’t quite hit the mark, like “got more flows than you’ve got faces”. Still, for every forced metaphor there were a couple pretty clever ones. I loved the Van Gogh and the reiterated money lines. This was probably the most rap rap out of all of them, and that can only be appreciated. All my issues are only on a line by line basis: the “404” line could have worked just with a “not found” which would have accentuated the flow of that line. The bars/prisoner thing could have been expanded upon a bit more. The Taylor diss was definitely appreciated. The Wiz thing was such a Nicki thing to do, I kiid there. Overall, this would have been a bit more powerful if I knew more of the backstory, or if it was explained in the song, but I wouldn’t say that’s typical of a rap song so I can’t take off points for it. This has been a song I’ve been wanting you to write since Season 6 when I tried to force you to write a diss track about me, so slay!

 

 

@mxtthewdelrey – Mouth Where My Money Is

Wow, the Jackson shoutout in “I won the game, now I’m running it”! The chorus was a pretty effective rap chorus, if uneventful. The Halsey references made me SCREAM, you went in on her. This was so British and so gay overall, the level of personality you put into it was admirable, even if the final product was (rightfully) messy. The messier lines came mostly near the end, with “I’m not that pretty but compared to you I’m Kate Moss” and the One Dance reference.

 

 

@Hug – Hug’s Manifesto

A mess, I knew you and Aurora would be the ones that went all out on this challenge, and I’m dying at the fact that you both made genius annotations for your songs. I’m confused as to what the “H-O” is for apart from referencing yourself as a hoe? Am I supposed to pronounce the word hashtag? I liked the first and last stanzas of the first verse, but the two in between were maybe a BIT too messy. I love how gay and sassy some of these raps have been, and your chorus is no exception. I kii’d at “water imagery”. I was kinda wanting an Ocean Lips diss there tbh. Overall, messy but in a mostly good way.

 

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1 minute ago, Jackson said:

As for the song itself, there were a couple times when this felt a little too “trying to be hood” (ie you is history). I was also DYING for you to rhyme why boy with white boy. The Quavo parts were also kinda unnecessary. There were a lot of good disses in here, though, and I hate Ed and Sam too so that helped! “You had humble beginnings with a face that was wrecked” was a kii!

yeah the hood thing is totally true lmao but it sounded better than “you are history” (and since the round itself is just begging for appropriation I figured I might as well go all in). quavo was only included for recording purposes (none of those parts were there in the original lyrics and I meant to take them out in the doc but I guess I forgot. it was just meant to be a kii cuz he’s been on every song recorded since 2015). I didn’t even think of white boy :deadbanana3: but that woulda been a kii and a half. thanks for your comments :heart2: 

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18 minutes ago, Jackson said:

 

@SaintWest – I Kneel

That black/blue/red would have been cool if you could have fit white somewhere in it. WIG at the last two lines, I absolutely love “they say they’re colorblind, but only fear the darker shades”. That’s so powerful. You took this challenge exactly where I wanted to see it go. I could hear this being an actual rap song, and it’s honestly better than most (although it does feel pretty song-y. I wouldn’t explicitly know this was a rap if it wasn’t submitted for this challenge apart from subject matter and line length). But otherwise, really good job. I want to like tattoo half of these lyrics on my face.

@Gastrodonatella

 

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1 hour ago, Jackson said:

@Hug – Hug’s Manifesto

A mess, I knew you and Aurora would be the ones that went all out on this challenge, and I’m dying at the fact that you both made genius annotations for your songs. I’m confused as to what the “H-O” is for apart from referencing yourself as a hoe? Am I supposed to pronounce the word hashtag? I liked the first and last stanzas of the first verse, but the two in between were maybe a BIT too messy. I love how gay and sassy some of these raps have been, and your chorus is no exception. I kii’d at “water imagery”. I was kinda wanting an Ocean Lips diss there tbh. Overall, messy but in a mostly good way.

I stole the Genius idea from him bc it was handy to be able to explain myself, though I see you didn't click it. :cupid: Which is fine I didn't even think anyone would. For the "H-O" thing...yes, I was calling myself a ho! I was feeling CupcakKe-y this week. The hashtag is...up for debate. :eli: I personally wouldn't pronounce it, and it's just an aesthetic kii like the Skype emoji. I also...didn't think to mention Ocean Lips (because Oceans Away outsold, firstly) but I did mention @Corsola's legendary song Drip Drop! #Impactful songs ONLY!

 

Thank you for your review ♥

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@ultraviolence.xx, "I Smell Fire"

 

"I Smell Fire"

 

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Bitch me to tf.

 

the outro/part after the sung interlude felt kinda pointless but the rest is perfect

 

"I see you macking on that 13 Reasons Why boy / Listen to your album? Give me 13 reasons why, boy."

 

@Tsareena, "Asparagus Water"

 

I'm not sure what asparagus water is tbh. But asparagus is ****ing disgusting so I can imagine. I think this was a good balance of what I expected this round to be - comedic novelty songs/diss tracks or actual rap songs with maybe some political aspects to them. This fell somewhere in the middle, and I think it's a comfortable area. The song doesn't take itself too seriously, but at the same time it's not all comedic relief, there's real questions being asked here. There were parts that were maybe a little too blunt for their own good, like the "lap band" line. I feel like the point was to be blunt, but sometimes it was a bit overboard. Other than that, I think this style suited you, at least structurally, because Verse Two for example contains some of your cleanest writing so far. On an unrelated note, I think it's cute how you are still sticking to your food theme, I love it. Though maybe Asparagus Water wasn't the best metaphor (or maybe it was like i said idek what it is), I really like the idea it represents, and the rest of the song does more than enough to complement it. 

 

"Oh but you know we're all woke now too / No racism on your timeline while you, ignore real calamity"

 

@SaintWest, "I Kneel"

 

No shade but in any other round I probably would've given this a 10. :gaycat3: It was meaningful, well written, and compelling. The three main things I look for in a song, tbh. The titular phrase/chorus was a brilliant double meaning. It was one of the few serious songs from this round, and it was handled very delicately. And as always, it's well written, as all your songs are when you actually try. They sometimes blend together for me, but this one sticks out. It punched from start to finish. Unfortunately, it didn't really feel like a rap song. There were some differences in style from the verses/chorus but that's pretty standard even for regular songs. The flow is still impeccable though so...I can't really fault you for this. It was still great, but maybe could've been a bit more committed stylistically. (PS was the last line a reference to #2 smash Till? wig if so)  Welcome back, bitch. Keep it up x

 

"Will you break the cycle, or pretend that you don't see / 'Til I'm just another reason for a man to take the knee"

 

@MattyTacos, "Private Sanctuary"

 

Now bitch, you know damn well this could've fit into any round. The rap elements were very, very loose and to even call it an R&B song seems like a reach. That said, conceptually it was very interesting. I see you're going all out with your concepts lately, and it definitely worked better for me this time, despite not really fitting the challenge either. I don't know if I could see this as a rap song conceptually even if there were stylistic and structural differences to it. The imagery was pretty nice and consistent throughout, but it seemed like you threw in some bigger words just for the sake of imagery and the end result just sounds kind of awkward. I also think this is kind of choppy, and not in a good way like some rap is. Overall, this was one of your better songs - and that's just it. It's a song, and not much of a rap, and that's where it falls the most short. In another round this probably would've done a lot better, but for what it is, it's really very interesting.

 

"You only found pride singing declarations in blood / I'll be independent for the both of us"

 

@keshaspearsxo, "Billboards"

 

Okay, that chorus was extremely basic, I was not feeling it. On the second read through it's a little better, but it's still kinda...just there. I don't know, choruses usually seem like a strong point for you, at least in the past few rounds, particularly "Glitch", so maybe this was just a let down in comparison. The verses however felt surprisingly very "rap" to me, and I think they were a lot more insightful and creative than the chorus. It's not a typical concept for a rap song maybe, but in terms of PH entries it wasn't exactly groundbreaking conceptually. Still, it had the signature pear style of writing that I love, a style gives even the most tired of concepts some kind of existential flare. Overall, I think this was maybe a step down from the past two weeks, probably cause you're not used to this style, but you still stuck to the challenge and executed it decently, and the verses give a unique perspective that kind of makes up for what the song lacks conceptually.

 

"And then you leave, I watch you go, take your steps down the stairs / You've only been there once but I still see you there"

 

@Aurora, "Counterfeit"

 

Okay, so you definitely blew the other girls out of the water in terms of flows and punchlines, and that's kinda the most important elements of rap. Most of them were sick, but a few of them I was just like, nah. Some of them made me go "Oh wow...OH WOW" and others made me laugh. It's like this song was unsure of whether or not it wanted to be a full on diss track or just some light hearted freestyle, and the grey area it ends up in is a little awkward. Still, it was very enjoyable either way, even if the tone was completely consistent throughout. The punchlines are still punching, and there's a lot of them, believe me. Your flow was also a little irregular at times, but since you're one of the few who really demonstrated that they knew what flow was (in terms of rap), I'll give it a pass. Overall, this was great, though maybe suffered a little from trying to do tooo much at once.

 

"But let's take it back to when we first met, back when I didn't wanna put you in a hearse yet / Before I drew blood, you were new blood, you working hard for that first check"

 

 

@mxtthewdelrey, "Mouth Where My Money Is"

 

This felt, a little vulgar for the sake of being vulgar. I know that seems like an accurate representation of rap, but there's a lot more to it than that. Other than the tone, this didn't feel much like a rap song at all, but moreso just a novelty song.If there was any round to do it, it was probably this one I guess! The hook though was pretty great. It was really catchy and felt like it would fit in a  rap song, even if the rest of the song didn't really feel like a rap song, it still felt like it fit in nicely either way. This obviously wan't groundbreaking conceptually either, but that clearly wasn't what you were going for. In terms of technical issues, the return of your forced rhymes is definitely back in full swing, but I almost like it in this song. It adds to the comedy of it, almost. Maybe you weren't intending for it to be funny but I'm sure you weren't taking this one all to seriously, and it's fun in that sense. That said some lines were a little too...dark for this kind of song. Like the "hotline" one in the first verse. Overall, this was all over the place, and kind of regression to the old you, which ultimately ended up as both a good and bad thing.  


"I put my mouth where my money is / I won the game, now I'm running it"

 

@Hug, "Speezy is Dead, Nait Phoenix is Dead, funnellegs is Dead, but I'm Alive - Hug's Manifesto"

 

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"But back to Thug, 'cause it's Hug and I got the T / These bitches clones, they all rushing to copy me"

 

 

 

 

 

 

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@ceremonials thanks qween. Honestly though, I know the song structure doesn't go AWF like a traditional rap song, but I always played the song in my head as more of a chill, laid back, 80's/90's rap by like TLC as opposed to a Bodak Yellow. :zzz: I think it allows the lyrics to shine through and punch more as opposed to something more up-tempo in which case I felt each line would just get lost.

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3 minutes ago, SaintWest said:

@ceremonials thanks qween. Honestly though, I know the song structure doesn't go AWF like a traditional rap song, but I always played the song in my head as more of a chill, laid back, 80's/90's rap by like TLC as opposed to a Bodak Yellow. :zzz: I think it allows the lyrics to shine through and punch more as opposed to something more up-tempo in which case I felt each line would just get lost.

It read a little more like R&B to me structurally, but content wise it was rap 100% so idk it kinda evens out for me. With rap I think it's really hard to tell unless you can phsyically hear it, tbh. I'm not going to be judging people too hard for "not feeling like rap", as well.

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Thanks @Jackson and @ceremonials for the reviews~ :heart2:

 

Jackson – read the Genius, hoe! No but seriously, I knew a huge potential problem would be getting the personal details to translate because while the first part of the song is largely generalised and open-ended, the second half is definitely more specific to him with disses that pack way more of a punch having that background knowledge. I had to do it like that, for myself, to be authentic, otherwise I wouldn't have bothered writing it for PH as it [the "Counterfeit" concept] was always going to be about him and our situation. So I really just used this challenge as an excuse to finally write the song since I'm lazy af outside of PH seasons. :laugh: But it seems like you liked it enough so I'm more than happy with that. I was preparing for the worst tbh. Thanks!

 

Austin – read the Genius, hoe! [2] RE: "unsure of [what it wanted to be]" girl it was like the first thing I wrote in the description, “Counterfeit” was written as a part-comedy, part-genuinely-trying-to-be-ruthless diss track, lmao no but I get you and was a little worried how the hybrid would work; on one hand it could've either come across as a complete joke entry, or on the other it could've seemed like a really ****ty attempt at being a badass when I really just look stupid and lame. But I feel like I avoided both of those extremities... I think? Basically I did want that balance, I felt the humorous elements (like the obviously gay, ATRL'd references i.e. "c'mon hunty", "dead in a ditch", "found your weave?" etc.) brought personality and made the disses hit harder than they potentially could have been if it was all serious/negative/lethal. But again, like Jackson (and fefe) while there was plenty to pick apart it seemed like it wasn't a complete failure, so thanks for the nice words on the parts you liked. :duca:

 

also I have a free day tomorrow :gaycat2: who knows what I'll get up to. hide your eardrums, hide your weaves

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5 hours ago, ceremonials said:

 Welcome back, bitch. Keep it up x

 

On 8/16/2017 at 9:58 PM, SaintWest said:

3. saintwest

 

im back swish swish bish

 

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7 hours ago, Hug said:

I stole the Genius idea from him bc it was handy to be able to explain myself, though I see you didn't click it. :cupid: Which is fine I didn't even think anyone would. For the "H-O" thing...yes, I was calling myself a ho! I was feeling CupcakKe-y this week. The hashtag is...up for debate. :eli: I personally wouldn't pronounce it, and it's just an aesthetic kii like the Skype emoji. I also...didn't think to mention Ocean Lips (because Oceans Away outsold, firstly) but I did mention @Corsola's legendary song Drip Drop! #Impactful songs ONLY!

 

Thank you for your review ♥

Wow I won

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4 hours ago, Aurora said:

Jackson – read the Genius, hoe! No but seriously, I knew a huge potential problem would be getting the personal details to translate because while the first part of the song is largely generalised and open-ended, the second half is definitely more specific to him with disses that pack way more of a punch having that background knowledge. I had to do it like that, for myself, to be authentic, otherwise I wouldn't have bothered writing it for PH as it [the "Counterfeit" concept] was always going to be about him and our situation. So I really just used this challenge as an excuse to finally write the song since I'm lazy af outside of PH seasons. :laugh: But it seems like you liked it enough so I'm more than happy with that. I was preparing for the worst tbh. Thanks!

 

I actually did read your genius! But not until after reviewing the song

 

8 hours ago, Hug said:

I stole the Genius idea from him bc it was handy to be able to explain myself, though I see you didn't click it. :cupid: Which is fine I didn't even think anyone would. For the "H-O" thing...yes, I was calling myself a ho! I was feeling CupcakKe-y this week. The hashtag is...up for debate. :eli: I personally wouldn't pronounce it, and it's just an aesthetic kii like the Skype emoji. I also...didn't think to mention Ocean Lips (because Oceans Away outsold, firstly) but I did mention @Corsola's legendary song Drip Drop! #Impactful songs ONLY!

 

N I was planning on reading your genius, but it was the very last song in the google doc and I was tired, so I will today

 

also true, Oceans Away did outsell!

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10 hours ago, Jackson said:

very poetic

I'm more of a Logic than a Lil Wayne 

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9 hours ago, ceremonials said:

tenor.gif

 

Bitch me to tf.

 

the outro/part after the sung interlude felt kinda pointless but the rest is perfect

w h e w  :smitten:  thanks cere!  

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34 minutes ago, ultraviolence.xx said:

where is the lemon-lime queen

i've heard if you stand in front of a mirror in the dark and say satan's name three time, citrus appears

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Judging by your reviews @SaintWest, your song seems to be very serious and about racism. I just wanted to say that I think it's very inspiring that you can take such serious issues and turn them into some of the biggest hit song classics, so slay. Till remains a #1 in my heart and I Kneel would've had a 10 on any other round! 

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:cupid:

 

 

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 You’re allowed to live in silence 

While we’re out here facing violence

 

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