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PLATINUM HIT 11▴ congratulations aurora ♛


Jackson

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2 minutes ago, Corsola said:

You wish you were Violet

 

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I met her a month ago so I've taken in a lot of her energy

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Wow Londoners! I love London mainly because of Arsenal but I also love the architecture, the history, everything tbh.

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Just now, KatyCatPH said:

Wow Londoners! I love London mainly because of Arsenal but I also love the architecture, the history, everything tbh.

Where are you from sis?

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1 minute ago, mxtthewdelrey said:

Where are you from sis?

From the Philippines but just like Jackson I kinda have an obsession with everything UK. But it's mainly London, Arsenal and Aaron Ramsey. :fan:

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1 minute ago, KatyCatPH said:

From the Philippines but just like Jackson I kinda have an obsession with everything UK. But it's mainly London, Arsenal and Aaron Ramsey. :fan:

oh Arsenal have both Aaron and Jack in midfield :jonny:

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Just now, mxtthewdelrey said:

oh Arsenal have both Aaron and Jack in midfield :jonny:

Ikr? Then you have Giroud up front, then Bellerin at the back. What else can you ask for? :jonny:

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1 minute ago, KatyCatPH said:

Ikr? Then you have Giroud up front, then Bellerin at the back. What else can you ask for? :jonny:

:jonny::jonny::jonny: i need a moment

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The way I KNEW this was going to be the lowest-average score round all season. I also don't think it's because we all did worse.

 

...well maybe some of us, but I PEAKED this round.

 

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Just now, Gastrodonatella said:

oh wow we love a multi hyphenate MAN :eek: 

It sounds better than "failed singing career, mainly a model, but aspiring actor" I feel!

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3 minutes ago, mxtthewdelrey said:

sis I've had this avi for 18 months and you're only asking me this now?

Anyway, lemme introduce you to male model, actor, singer and all-around sweetheart Eyal Booker!

17126999_275086979599454_1863699224424611840_n.jpg

Here's his insta :eli:

https://www.instagram.com/eyalbooker/?hl=en

dear god i want to fill his chest line with my seed

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Reviews

 

Note: Why is everyone obsessed with the future this round?

 

Hug - Providence 

 

This is such a sweet song. There’s a genuine sense of comfort and companionship within the lyrics. I can feel the story of these two people falling in love come to life. Although there were a few (unimportant) clumsy word choices like myriad, it was tightly knit and did a good job at delivering something powerful within simplistic means. It feels very Fourth of July by Mariah Carey at times which I love. I love how the first verse felt very connected imagery wise, fireworks and lights. However the second verse started off more intimate, darkness, touch, bed, and then repeated the same ‘pre chorus’ as the first verse about lights and such. It could have been more effective if you rewrote it to reflect the intimacy what the second verse started, which was really good stuff. The chorus was so on point, a mixture of smartly chosen cliches with smooth pacing. Overall, this was a great song to start the batch with. 

 

Aurora - The Gift 

 

Tbh playboy was also the first thing that came to my mind @Hunter. This read more like a story that rhymes than lyrics but I’m fine with that, it’s another style of writing. It was very dense but it didn’t feel long the storytelling was on point. I love the little details like “colliding trucks with plastic dinosaurs” representing playing with toys as a child. The easy rhymes in the bridge were nice to read as you gave them really good context. You also developed the universe into a strong character. I wasn’t a fan of the last chorus, it was worded awkwardly but overall, this was a solid entry.

 

Gastrodonatella  - Buttercups 

 

Okay, wow took me a while to realize this was about a dead child. Anyway, while the story behind the lyrics was moving, the storytelling style really didn’t favor this song. It wasn’t as powerful as it could have been given the subject matter. The oak tree line did pull quite harshly at my heartstrings though. That’s what would have made this a stronger entry. However, it wasn’t bad, it just felt lacking. “The spring wouldn’t be beautiful / if winter never came.” Favorite lyric so far!

 

MattyTacos - Ending Scene 

 

I had a hard time reading this because the flow felt off, but you did a good job at telling a story. The chorus was the worst part of this song, not only because it didn’t read well at all but it was awkward and didn’t encapsulate the theme well enough to justify its appearance throughout the song without changing like most storytelling choruses often do. Overall, it didn’t capture my attention but it was an interesting tale and the titular phrase was nice.

 

Nonstop - Tsareena

 

I love little details peppered into lyrics like this, you did a good job at incorporating them while mining a flow that hardly wavered. It makes for a pleasurable read. Content wise, it was also strong and it felt personable despite some cliche moments in the pre chorus. The verses are so strong, with their strangely straightforwardness but it works so well. It’s an emotional entry and I appreciate that so much. I would just urger you to pay close attention to your tenses, but it’s no biggie.

 

Minho - Here Comes the Rain 

 

I love the flow of this song so much, it’s not just meter and rhyme scheme, but the syntax and overall wording of things. It felt progressive without sounding list like or jumpy from line to line, very natural. I love the concept of seeing your life  in the future but speaking about it in the present, it’s really interesting and you dd it so well. “Departures that never arrive,” is such a poignant lyric. It has a whimsical romance about it, good job.

 

Funnellegs - The Inevitable End

 

Everyone seems to love writing about the future when they are storytelling! Anyway, this entry felt a little bland. The entire pre chorus is a Roar-like cliche collection and offers nothing to tell a story. The chorus feels very blunt and doesn’t draw me in enough to care about where the story is going. I do love the line about calling the universe yours, a very well thought out line. There just needed to be more imagination put into this.

 

UFO - Nothing Ever Stays the Same 

 

Imagery wise, this felt really inconsistent. (Trees, space, gardens). However, it’s cool to see you talking about yourself in third person. You made it work and it flowed amazingly. The dialogue was incorporated smoothly and overall it led into the end pretty well. A solid entry. It kind of reminded me of Letters From Your Future except you’re talking to your younger self.

 

Nait Phoenix - Change 

 

This song is very vague and it feels very template like despite the structure. It doesn’t feel relatable despite the theme being such because it’s too general and elementary. I would have wanted a little more imagination put into this, the theme makes room for that. 

 

Ultraviolence - daylight

 

The first verse is flawless, why did the story have to change in the pre chorus? I was rooting for them.  :weeps: Anyway, this was a very endearing entry, smartly written without many mishaps, even the monitor flatlining line didn’t feel out of place. It was short and sweet, which I loved and you simply did a wonderful job.

 

SaintWest - Languages

 

I love the way you progress your story through ages and each stanza encapsulates each era perfectly and when you get to ages that are older than you, it flows seamlessly. This is one of the better entries I’ve read from you. And I love how it doesn’t have any repeating parts like a chorus, but it feels like a complete song. Again, wonderful job.

 

Pears - Glitch 

 

Very good flow, and while the language was very general at times, it didn’t take away from the rest of the song. I love the whole electronics metaphor with word choices like cords, wires glitches, and simulation really driving that home. I do think that taking the whole story concept and comparing it with the way we read books is a bit overdone, but the majority of this was good. The bridge was the strongest part for me and the chorus really captured my attention as well. 

 

KatyCatPH - Something Crazy

 

I’ll be honest, this feels very basic. Like it’s a random filler song on a random demo album for a random wannabe pop girl. It was very general and the language didn’t draw me in or convince me. There was nothing outright bad about this nor was there anything great.

 

Mxtthewdelrey - From Above 

 

This is such a cute entry with dark undertones, and it gives me like anime vibes I don’t know why. The chorus is very hopeful and endearing and I can relate. I love the “flash forward to” it’s serving Sailor Moon. It’s a fun song and I finally get your style, sorry for dragging it before. I took myself too seriously. This was a unique entry among the rest. The originality, flow, and creativity were there. Good job.

 

 

Don't forget to pick up a copy of Sugar Skulls on bandcamp, it sucks but it's for an important cause. Me.

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52 minutes ago, Moonchild said:

@Hug, Providence

Good: Your hook and your chorus are bops! The song is touching and definitely echoes the movie.

Bad: “our lips intertwine” Girl, no. “Pyrotechnic” eyes is a bit too clunky to work. Same with ending/beginning rhyme.

Favorite line: “I remember it all, remember it all
The love I’ll feel and how we’ll fall”

Whew I'm snatching that blazing high 6 from you I think!...at least, seeing as my negatives (nitpicks? I don't know) are generally light compared to the positives!

 

43 minutes ago, Temporal said:

1. Hug - Providence
This is the epitome of a PH song :laugh: I don’t mean that in any way, it’s just funny coming back to reading entries again after a while and this being a pretty solid reminder of what to expect. ANYWAYS while I initially thought the kissing/firework concept was going to be boring as hell, the way you played with the tenses was a *really* nice touch that completely elevated the song. It had twists and turns when it felt like it was going to be completely predictable. Well done!

This is my most typical song this season I promise. Caught me at a bad time :(

 

Also yes my unique twist! I definitely wouldn't have done a song like this without some gimmick :'(

 

Thank you both for reviews :heart2: 

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48 minutes ago, Moonchild said:

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@MattyTacos, Ending Scene

Good: I like the rock climbing references in the first verse.

Bad: When you ask questions in a song, you should typically answer them. Since we know that Louise Banks decides to have her child, she’s already come to peace with her daughter’s death on some level. It would’ve been more interesting to see you explore her thought process rather than repeating the ending scene question.

Favorite line: “I watch seasons bloom in your eyes”

Yeah, that's true but it's meant to take place while she's learning to accept the idea, hense the ending line of the chorus, especially in the last one "If I embrace what will happen/Will I get over the ending scene?" I guess I should've been more mindful about fleshing that aspect, thanks.

 

38 minutes ago, Temporal said:

TEMPORAL'S REVIEWS

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4. MattyTacos - Ending Scene
To be totally fair, I have not read the book in question but I have luckily seen Arrival so I *get* the generally jist, but I did not get what was happening here for the most part. So many connections between the imagery were totally lost in translation for me. The entire third verse for instance went completely over my head. It seemed like you also changed who the “you” was from the aliens to the daughter at least once and that was a really hard shift to grasp. I think you threw a whole lot at the song and unfortunately not enough of it stuck for me.

Bitch :fish2: everything I reference in the text is from the short story so it makes sense you couldn't follow along. As for the aliens thing - I didn't, the bridge was inspired by the goodbye Louise says to the aliens in the short story like "last gift exchange" or w/e but the perspective was changed. I only mentioned it in my bg info so the judges couldn't drag me for "not being close to the text" but I guess it backfired especially considering over half of the panel didn't read the short story. I should've been more mindful that the judges are laZEE and made it a bit more vague but o well what can you do. ALSO UM at you including MY MAN in your lil banner of trashy avis

 

demi-tweets05.jpg

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2 minutes ago, Temporal said:

dear god i want to fill his chest line with my seed

:jonny:

 

let me start begging polly for his number so that i can exchange it for a higher score off you this week

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7 minutes ago, mxtthewdelrey said:

sis I've had this avi for 18 months and you're only asking me this now?

Anyway, lemme introduce you to male model, actor, singer and all-around sweetheart Eyal Booker!

17126999_275086979599454_1863699224424611840_n.jpg

Here's his insta :eli:

https://www.instagram.com/eyalbooker/?hl=en

....

tenor.gif

 

I've had a thing for curly haired white boys ever since I saw The Way He Looks 

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1 minute ago, swiftie13 said:

Mxtthewdelrey - From Above 

 

This is such a cute entry with dark undertones, and it gives me like anime vibes I don’t know why. The chorus is very hopeful and endearing and I can relate. I love the “flash forward to” it’s serving Sailor Moon. It’s a fun song and I finally get your style, sorry for dragging it before. I took myself too seriously. This was a unique entry among the rest. The originality, flow, and creativity were there. Good job.

 

 

Don't forget to pick up a copy of Sugar Skulls on bandcamp, it sucks but it's for an important cause. Me.

ahhhh thank you so so so much! :heart2::heart2::heart2: reading this review made me sooooo happy, i'm very grateful!
 

and i listened to the whole of Sugar Skulls before, it's gorgeous :jonny:

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5 minutes ago, swiftie13 said:

Hug - Providence 

 

This is such a sweet song. There’s a genuine sense of comfort and companionship within the lyrics. I can feel the story of these two people falling in love come to life. Although there were a few (unimportant) clumsy word choices like myriad, it was tightly knit and did a good job at delivering something powerful within simplistic means. It feels very Fourth of July by Mariah Carey at times which I love. I love how the first verse felt very connected imagery wise, fireworks and lights. However the second verse started off more intimate, darkness, touch, bed, and then repeated the same ‘pre chorus’ as the first verse about lights and such. It could have been more effective if you rewrote it to reflect the intimacy what the second verse started, which was really good stuff. The chorus was so on point, a mixture of smartly chosen cliches with smooth pacing. Overall, this was a great song to start the batch with. 

Okay yes I will take myriad being clumsy but I stanned for pyrotechnic :weeps: I...suppose the pyrotechnic eyes thing worked better when I was actually talking about fireworks, I will also give you that!

 

Also, the short story has a huge emphasis on how time is experienced, and the main character can effectively see the future after learning an alien language. I think a lot of people were inspired by that, I know I was!

 

Thank you for your review Hor. :heart2: 

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1 minute ago, Temporal said:

MY SWIFT ASS WARNING :ahh: 

dont being me into your weird sex fantasies

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3 minutes ago, swiftie13 said:

Ultraviolence - daylight

 

The first verse is flawless, why did the story have to change in the pre chorus? I was rooting for them.  :weeps: Anyway, this was a very endearing entry, smartly written without many mishaps, even the monitor flatlining line didn’t feel out of place. It was short and sweet, which I loved and you simply did a wonderful job.

SHOOK but also

 

squinting-at-screen.jpg 

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1 minute ago, ultraviolence.xx said:

SHOOK but also

 

squinting-at-screen.jpg 

mess didn't notice it was so small, nn increased to 12 pt

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