discussion Uncomfortable being gay

[Whis]

So I was watching Unhhh on Youtube, and Trixie talked about how she used to be so uncomfortable with being gay that even when she would get a tiny bit of attention from another gay when she was younger she would RUN. Today, I'm experiencing the same.

 

I've been out of the closet since I was 15 to my friends. When I was 17 I came out to my family.

 

I'm 24 years old and only had intercourse twice in my life. I never dare to approach another gay, even when they show interest. When I go to a bar and another gay approaches me, I start panicking and run away or try to escape. This is seriously hindering me in my love and xxx life.

How do I get over this? I never talk about my genitals or sexual experiences with friends or family, probably because of this reason. I always panic when other gays in real life show interest, I don't know what to do. It's as if I go into fight or flight mode. 

I talk a lot about hot boys and other gay stuff with friends, but when my family questions me about things related to being gay I shut down.

 

I would love to have a relationship but whenever I'm dating and they show affection I start to 'mentally block' myself or avoid the other person. Its so frustrating because I want to change but don't know how.

Edited August 3 by Whis

[Bloodflowers.]

Go to theraphy

[tost1]

It takes time to fully accept yourself. You can try therapy, maybe talking someone non biased can help you to open up and get to the bottom of things

[suburbannature]

I hope this works out for you and I'm sure it will with therapy and the right social circle, but looking at your avi after reading that post took me tf out 

[getBusy]

Get professional help - I don't think this is the type of stuff you can do on your own, sis. 
 

Just know that a lot of people struggle with intimacy, feelings, etc regardless of their sexual orientation, so you're not alone. 

[ABeyBraith]

Stop running away and embrace it. Let yourself go, have fun and get some experience. It will get easier. 

[Dear Reader]

I'm very sorry you feel this way about yourself, but I think that might be something to do with your self confidence or even anxiety issues. As other users have recommended, you should seek help from someone or even therapy, if you can afford it. 

Having an outside look on our problems can help us understand them better. 

[alexrex]

Something is blocking you from doing it, and the only way to find it out is through therapy. 

 

Good thing that you are out to your family and friends. You could also try to talk to them about it if you feel comfortable. 

[Cain]

As others have said, therapy

 

But I would also suggest getting queer friends to talk about this stuff, you talk about "other gays" purely romantically, but having gay friends helps to talk about these issues openly with people who can help you

[Horizon Flame]

Well, I wouldn't discuss my genitals or sex life to family, lol, and it's really none of your friends' business either. Not wanting to discuss that isn't out of the ordinary, but maybe therapy would help you. There are gay therapists out there. At least you're aware that you're having issues. Some people go on forever denying it and then become depressed and bitter over it. You're young. Don't lose hope. 

Edited August 3 by Horizon Flame

[Princess Aurora]

Oh I'm so sorry. I was in a very similar situation to yours when I was 18. All you can do is learn how to accept yourself and as others said, therapy would be great for you to feel better with yourself.

[Whis]

I live in a very small town, barely any gays here to befriend 

[LittleStarmen]

Go to a bathhouse or fo a gang bang. loose all virginities at once you will see how you were freaking out about nothing