discussion Does Anyone Feel Like They Wasted Their Teen Years?

[Orsay]

Yep and add most of my 20s to the list 

[Redstreak]

I came out at 14 in Alabama so basically spent all of high school out which made me not have to worry about hiding myself. I think that really helped my confidence to grow even though college was really rough after (thanks depression!) overall though I didn’t party or anything in high school, too focused on AP classes in band. There’s nothing saying you can’t do all of that in your 20’s though

Edited October 7, 2023 by Redstreak

[G.U.Y_Del_Rey]

I was like you but I don't regret it, I was happy like that, I hate that society has conditioned us to think that true happiness is partying and drinking and dating like crazies. 

[Bacardo Royale]

Yeah same story as you but I made up for it in my 20s

[Ratviolo]

The only thing I feel like I truly missed from my teen years is dating and living as my true self - and obviously that’s because I came to terms with my sexuality sooo late. However, I’m in such a good place all around now that I definitely made up for what I missed back then

[Alldeezy]

Nope I wasted my 20s though 

 

At least in my teens I was a virgin with no boy troubles and 2 loving parents. At school to socialise, sure I was mentally unstable but I've been like that my entire life but I enjoyed my teens like parties etc.

 

It went to **** once I turned 20. No friends, never worked, just wasted my life on unsuccessful relationships. It's gone now and I can never go back and redo it.

[DamianSolo]

I definitely did, being as insecure and "shy" as I was then. And I didn't necessarily have a support system around me because I had moved to a new city and region upon becoming a teen, and I just didn't click with the people here due to a massive cultural difference. I didn't fit in and it showed. People, even still, ask me where I'm from.

[State of Grace.]

Ehhh sorta kinda. The feeling of wasting my 20s so far is worse though, especially since the pandemic took like 2 of them away.  That is a much bigger grievance.

 

But I noticed that's a really common feeling among queer people so my 30s will be my 20s I guess! /copium

[Bencharmer]

I feel like it's a normal feeling.... Even through your life.

 

When you have experience and the luxury of reflexion, you always get the "ohhh if i had known that....."

 

But that's the point, the experience bring us wisdom. 

[Darius]

I was way too focused on the future in my teens/early 20s. I graduated college a year early (skipped the ceremony, even. lol) to get a head start in the job market, got the exact career I wanted, moved to my dream city, etc. So while 99.9% of what I planned has come true, that hyper-focus means that I missed out on a lot of formative experiences. Things like going out, dating, experimenting sexually, etc. 

 

If I could do it again, I'd prioritize just HAVING FUN. I do try now, but ioknowman it's different at that stage of life. Cause in your teens/20s, you have a lot less responsibility and everyone around you is on more or less on the same wavelength/trajectory 

Edited October 11, 2023 by Darius

[Homebrand]

No not at all

 

Majority of your meaningful friendships will be made in your 20s (at least for me anyway) 

 

I still speak to a handful of people from highschool in my late 20s but we're not super close anyway, so most those memories from those years are kinda obsolete to me 

[katara]

That's the gay experience so don't beat yourself up for it 

[#1Pokpaker]

I'm turning 21 next month and I feel like I burnt myself out partying, going out, and doing everything at once in my teen years (joining orgs, doing pageants, working 3 jobs). I didn't feel like I wasted it but I'd have changed a few things like coming out earlier, not saying yes to everything, and maybe learning to enjoy my own company but now, i'm able to do/have already done all of those things and it's been amazing.

[John Slayne]

teen years are overrated and unnecessarily romanticised. almost every teenager hates themselves and don't know who they are. people say it's the best time of their life because of nostalgia, not because it is actually all that. i also didn't date in high school and tbh it was for the best. things happen in my life in their own time, i would never ever want to be back in high school. 

 

no offence but it sounds like you're only saying this because you're unhappy now. you need to find a way to be confident qnd content with your life as it is now. your happiness is not in the past, it's in the future. ruminating on what high school could've been won't help you with anything.

[zasderfght]

On 10/7/2023 at 2:01 PM, GraceRandolph said:

I’m sick of distractions. All I want is a tangible fix. 

I am not merely suggesting "distracting" yourself from your depression is the answer, but depression, sometimes, can be caused from being too isolated and insulated. If you're not moving your body, getting sunlight/sun exposure, making sure your bloodwork looks consistently good, that's where, in my opinion, I would start. 

 

The basic self-care stuff-- making sure you eat a balanced diet, you get your 8 hours of sleep, you shower regularly, stay hydrated, etc. is extremely, extremely important in keeping you balanced, energetic, and "happy," so to speak. If you're honestly and sincerely doing all of this, I would next consider some sort of talk therapy. Perhaps you grew up or surrounded yourself with people that have a lot of negative self-talk-- you could picked up this habit without realizing it. With certain therapies (CBT therapy, especially), you can retrain your brain how to un-learn toxic thought patterns and improve your thought patterns. Doing basic self-care and engaging in therapy that challenges you to retrain your brain are not distractions-- with enough practice, this will become part of your regimen. 

 

If this still isn't enough, this is where we introduce medication(s). With some of these (antidepressant medications come to mind), you have to give them 4-12 weeks to work, unfortunately. If you're prescribed amphetamines (like Adderall) or benzos (like Xanax), those will typically work right-away or same-day. If you're anti-medication, understandable (you are a vegan, and most, if not all, pharmaceuticals contain lactose), but you do have options. St. John's Wort has antidepressant effects, as well as 5-HTP. Ask your doctor about these, as these supplements can interact with MANY different foods/supplements/medications. 

 

If you are treatment-resistant to depression, you could try IV ketamine infusions for depression, if your state has a legal, medically-supervised option. Or, you can have ketamine troches delivered to your doorstep a la Joyous (or some other brand). I don't really recommend ketamine troches, as the infusions have more research on them, but I get that not everyone has access to ket-infusions. 

 

Medical marijuana, if your state legalized it, could be an option, however, marijuana can be addictive or habit-forming, so, be careful. 

 

I know this is the response you were not looking to get, and you might still be in a depressive episode, but at least you know a stranger on here cares for your wellbeing, and I have battled depression myself, so, I'd like to think I know at least somewhat what you're going through. 

Edited October 11, 2023 by zasderfght

[BILLIONAIRE✘BOY]

n o

[Theshigo Washidu]

Yes

[harwee]

Um it depends , i have selective memory, lets just say that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited October 11, 2023 by harwee

[zasderfght]

23 hours ago, John Slayne said:

teen years are overrated and unnecessarily romanticised. almost every teenager hates themselves and don't know who they are. people say it's the best time of their life because of nostalgia, not because it is actually all that. i also didn't date in high school and tbh it was for the best. things happen in my life in their own time, i would never ever want to be back in high school. 

 

no offence but it sounds like you're only saying this because you're unhappy now. you need to find a way to be confident qnd content with your life as it is now. your happiness is not in the past, it's in the future. ruminating on what high school could've been won't help you with anything.

As always, great post! 

[Funnyfatty]

23 hours ago, John Slayne said:

teen years are overrated and unnecessarily romanticised. almost every teenager hates themselves and don't know who they are. people say it's the best time of their life because of nostalgia, not because it is actually all that. i also didn't date in high school and tbh it was for the best. things happen in my life in their own time, i would never ever want to be back in high school. 

 

no offence but it sounds like you're only saying this because you're unhappy now. you need to find a way to be confident qnd content with your life as it is now. your happiness is not in the past, it's in the future. ruminating on what high school could've been won't help you with anything.

Exactly. I mean it had its thing but i’m kind of more excited for my 30s where i’m more MAN and more comfortable.

 

—————
 

I’m 29 now and in my healing era ❤️‍🩹 i left my everything 2 months ago. I didn’t waste my teenage years BUT i was close to wasting it. Thankfully i’m now out of it. Today i have no family but i feel so good now that i can CREATE my own family. And with a man too

[brenda-walsh]

i mean, as someone in my 20s now i dont really care for how my teen years went. there were ups and downs but i was a kid and there's so much more to life as an adult

[Take Me Apart]

I was and still am severely depressed so whatever

[popmusicisdead]

i've wasted my teen years, my 20s and i'm currently wasting my 30s 

[KKW]

There’s no set way to live your life at any period. This feeling is usually brought on by comparison to others in your age bracket. Figure out what makes you happy/content in life and don’t focus so much on what other people are experiencing/have experienced. It’s cliche but comparison really is the thief of all joy.