discussion What do you think about the "High/Low Value Man/Woman" discourse?

[Europe]

A more and more common way of categorizing desireable and non-desireable romantic partners is to define them as high or low value. High value men /women usually possess traditionally desirable traits like height, wealth and high social status. However, some people note that viewing people as a  checklist is dehumanizing and this sort of thinking leads a lot of people to expect great partners while not having much to offer in return. The phenomenon is particularly popular with youtube relationship "experts", there are endless videos on the subject.

 

What is your opinion on categorizing people in this way?

Spoiler

Don't actually waste your time with the videos, just some examples.

 

 

[Jotham]

Super cringey

[PrettyHurts]

disgusting 

[Raphy23]

I never once thought like this. For me initially it’s “do I find them cute” and then if we get to know each other and we get along and our personalities mesh, then it turns into something more. I never once cared about their wealth. 

Edited October 5, 2023 by Raphy23

[EtherealCat]

its very concerning how popular all that incel stuff is getting

[dumbsparce]

This is not a thing. At all. Most people end up with partners that belong in the same range of socioeconomical status and attractiveness anyway without having to go through a checklist.

[Solaria]

Dangerous mentality which only further alienates people in our society. I hate that social media is perpetuating stuff like this.. 

[Terrielle]

Just another example of straight people complicating life

[Europe]

23 minutes ago, dumbsparce said:

This is not a thing. At all. Most people end up with partners that belong in the same range of socioeconomical status and attractiveness anyway without having to go through a checklist.

Well, it originally started on the "female dating strategy" subreddit where it taught women how to identify men who are willing to take care of them and then how to hook them into a relationship. So it does have a real life effect and with the idea becoming more and more widespread lately, it is going to have bigger impact in the coming years.

[rebeltwat]

Heterosexual dating dynamics is probably the most boring subject of all time

[Bussea]

straight people have the worst discourse ever. they haven’t had a serious discussion since Adam & Eve

 

 

 

[What_A_Mess]

Happens with gay guys too. Especially here in London 

[poki]

This is literally what Avril tried to warn us about when she released Sk8er Boi. 

 

Too bad that you couldn't see

see the man that boy could be

there is more than meets the eye

I see the soul that is inside

[bunnyeyes]

13 minutes ago, Cult Leader 𐕣𐕣 said:

straight people have the worst discourse ever. they haven’t had a serious discussion since Adam & Eve

 

 

 

The scream I let out 

[Domination]

Meh, nothing new. Just a fresh coat of paint on what straight people have been doing for centuries.

[Rotunda]

I think everyone has certain “boxes” we expect our partner to check, but viewing potential partners through a lens of what they can do for you instead of a lens of whether your lives are compatible is a recipe for a failed relationship in 2023. 
 

 

Edited October 5, 2023 by Rotunda

[Khal]

1 hour ago, rebeltwat said:

Heterosexual dating dynamics is probably the most boring subject of all time

Few things have made me feel better about being gay than reading hetero dating discourse tbh. Not that the gays don’t have their own issues, but christ

[Rotunda]

1 hour ago, dumbsparce said:

This is not a thing. At all. Most people end up with partners that belong in the same range of socioeconomical status and attractiveness anyway without having to go through a checklist.

Not gonna lie to you it’s actual a huge thing right now in certain circles. 

[TiaTamera]

It’s tired because it has men thinking that as long as he’s talk with money and women thinking that as long as she’s skinny and young, that they have the “pick of the litter” when it comes to partners and forget to cultivate a personality.

[jjmed59]

all this just to end up cheating regardless 

[dumbsparce]

3 hours ago, AbeHicks said:

Well, it originally started on the "female dating strategy" subreddit where it taught women how to identify men who are willing to take care of them and then how to hook them into a relationship. So it does have a real life effect and with the idea becoming more and more widespread lately, it is going to have bigger impact in the coming years.

I know this was a thing.. in the 60s or sth. It's incredibly sad that there are women in this day and age that look for a man who "can take care of them". Aside from a sugar daddy situation, this is such a misogynistic approach to relationships.

 

I'm wondering if it expands to real life conversations or if it's strictly an online discourse.

1 hour ago, Rotunda said:

Not gonna lie to you it’s actual a huge thing right now in certain circles. 

Edited October 6, 2023 by dumbsparce

[Rotunda]

37 minutes ago, dumbsparce said:

I'm wondering if it expands to real life conversations or if it's strictly an online discourse.

2 hours ago, Rotunda said:

One of my sister’s old roommates called into Kevin Samuels’ show for relationship advice. People are starting to make real life decisions based on these dating coaches.

 

Some of it is relatively harmless (like denying coffee/ice cream dates cause they’re “low effort”), and some of it is the reinforcement of a lot of toxic norms related to normalizing fatphobia, male infidelity, and a lot of other mess. 

[Mordecai]

Anyone who thinks like this is someone you wouldn't want to date anyway

[Aethereal]

One of the reasons I had to delete TikTok is this ****. 

[WokeEqualist]

all these accounts that post sh!te like that and have pfps of like greek statues are the epitome of cringe. especially since it's mostly Middle-American Christians and conservative fools interacting with content like that, the numbers some of those posts pull are kinda scary tho