Dessy Posted October 2, 2023 Posted October 2, 2023 You're trying to make a friend out of him and he's not interested. Move on from him and focus on the work, or find something else.
perfect blue Posted October 2, 2023 Posted October 2, 2023 So basically you have no dignity and formed a deep personal attachment to a shitty/unprofessional coworker just because he was hot? Why are gay men so pig-brained? Stop obsessing over this douchebag or get another job. 1 2
Hot Volcano Posted October 9, 2023 Author Posted October 9, 2023 welp, I deserved all the dragging, especially after today. I couldn't handle the silent treatment anymore. We all went on a lunch together and he pretended I wasn't there. So later on I invited him for a coffee, he responded "tomorrow". So tomorrow I have to ask again What if he rejects me.......ugh I hate myself. But it was such a hard day to go through. I just wanna know WHAT IS THE REASON. Why has he completely written me off. I can't stand it. Part of me wants him to tell me something, the precise situation that annoyed him....just give me ANYTHING. I don't know how am I gonna fall asleep tonight, I'm such a mess
katara Posted October 9, 2023 Posted October 9, 2023 (edited) On 10/2/2023 at 8:18 PM, Archetype said: Never ever be friends outside of work with coworkers. Be friendly and professional, but there are limits that you can put in place to ensure this is mitigated or doesn't happen again. If this lead guy and one of his team members aren't going to do any work on this project, you need to tell your manager/whoever is above you that they aren't contributing and you need to provide receipts. Frame this as, "If they don't want to put in their share of work, or don't have the bandwidth to do so due to other priorities at work, then I will be glad to take this on myself, but want confirmation that they will be taken off the project and I will be the one driving it." Of course, that's only if you think you can handle the project by yourself, which it seems like you've been doing already. This is not good advice. I have made some great friends and have had my longest and most successful relationship with work colleagues. Work is where we spend the majority of our lifetime, might as well make it fun with good friends. A huge chunk of people make friends and partners through work. Obvi you need to filter out people you don't vibe with or who are toxic like you would do with your normal friend circle. Edited October 9, 2023 by katara
katara Posted October 9, 2023 Posted October 9, 2023 1 hour ago, Hot Volcano said: welp, I deserved all the dragging, especially after today. I couldn't handle the silent treatment anymore. We all went on a lunch together and he pretended I wasn't there. So later on I invited him for a coffee, he responded "tomorrow". So tomorrow I have to ask again What if he rejects me.......ugh I hate myself. But it was such a hard day to go through. I just wanna know WHAT IS THE REASON. Why has he completely written me off. I can't stand it. Part of me wants him to tell me something, the precise situation that annoyed him....just give me ANYTHING. I don't know how am I gonna fall asleep tonight, I'm such a mess He is doing it just because he can and it gives him power over you. The office is full of toxic narc people that get off from power play dynamics. If you really want to get him then start ignoring him altogether if it doesn't involve tasks and get on with your f**king life
Bears01 Posted October 9, 2023 Posted October 9, 2023 2 hours ago, Hot Volcano said: welp, I deserved all the dragging, especially after today. I couldn't handle the silent treatment anymore. We all went on a lunch together and he pretended I wasn't there. So later on I invited him for a coffee, he responded "tomorrow". So tomorrow I have to ask again What if he rejects me.......ugh I hate myself. But it was such a hard day to go through. I just wanna know WHAT IS THE REASON. Why has he completely written me off. I can't stand it. Part of me wants him to tell me something, the precise situation that annoyed him....just give me ANYTHING. I don't know how am I gonna fall asleep tonight, I'm such a mess NO person should have this much power over your day to day mood, especially somebody who you’re not even that personally close to. He does not want to be your friend, he does not want to sleep with you. Go to your job, make your $$ and leave it at that. Get friends outside of your job. Today. Since you’re from Eastern Europe (according to you) and if you just so happen to be that hot Romanian man who slid in my IG DMs and then has ignored me for a week, feel free to slide right back in to my DMs and I’ll be your friend, and help you get over your weird obsession
kataraqueen Posted October 9, 2023 Posted October 9, 2023 I'mma keep it real and I mean this in the least mean way possible: if I felt this energy from someone at the office I'd be avoiding them at all costs as well. I'm shocked no one has said this yet. Your original post is super weird to me but maybe I'm just lacking context... something that stands out is that you first call him bipolar (in a sense of invalidating his feelings / saying they're unpredictable). Then you say he's hot af? It's almost like you're negging him in your head. Has the thought of him noticing you have a crush on him and that turning him off from being friends with you crossed your mind? I literally don't even use the same elevator as this dude who once creepily messaged me on grindr (we live in the same building)
Archetype Posted October 10, 2023 Posted October 10, 2023 5 hours ago, katara said: Work is where we spend the majority of our lifetime I guess I don't relate to this but I see what you mean
Cheers Posted October 10, 2023 Posted October 10, 2023 It feels like you wouldn’t care if he wasn’t hot ngl ddddd Just do your work and get paid. If it becomes a toxic environment, start looking for a new job.
Hot Volcano Posted October 10, 2023 Author Posted October 10, 2023 10 hours ago, katara said: He is doing it just because he can and it gives him power over you. The office is full of toxic narc people that get off from power play dynamics. If you really want to get him then start ignoring him altogether if it doesn't involve tasks and get on with your f**king life 9 hours ago, Bears01 said: NO person should have this much power over your day to day mood, especially somebody who you’re not even that personally close to. He does not want to be your friend, he does not want to sleep with you. Go to your job, make your $$ and leave it at that. Get friends outside of your job. Today. Since you’re from Eastern Europe (according to you) and if you just so happen to be that hot Romanian man who slid in my IG DMs and then has ignored me for a week, feel free to slide right back in to my DMs and I’ll be your friend, and help you get over your weird obsession So in the end I asked him to go on a coffee, we went and everything was okay. I didnt bring up the elephant in the room and we talked stricly about bussiness. I feel kinda better and thats all that counts. So glad I didnt start any drama, bet he would've denied it anyway and I would've looked like a fool.
Bears01 Posted October 10, 2023 Posted October 10, 2023 11 hours ago, Hot Volcano said: So in the end I asked him to go on a coffee, we went and everything was okay. I didnt bring up the elephant in the room and we talked stricly about bussiness. I feel kinda better and thats all that counts. So glad I didnt start any drama, bet he would've denied it anyway and I would've looked like a fool. So….are you ****** or not?
Recommended Posts