ninasayers Posted August 16, 2023 Posted August 16, 2023 The users saying "maybe she doesn't like your art" as if that mattered... I feel like, if a friend doesn't seem to show any interest in you and what you do, they're most likely not an actual friend. It's difficult to lose contact with someone you've known your whole life but it seems like it's for the best in this case. 1
Rotunda Posted August 16, 2023 Posted August 16, 2023 2 hours ago, CottageHore said: [She] posted a bunch of wedding photos and tagged everyone except for me Somehow I glanced over this the first time reading. Chile, she hasn’t been a real friend to you in years and you’ve been searching for validation from a person that isn’t that subtle about not caring for or about you. Throw her and hillbilly hubby away.
Rotunda Posted August 16, 2023 Posted August 16, 2023 2 minutes ago, ninasayers said: The users saying "maybe she doesn't like your art" as if that mattered... I feel like, if a friend doesn't seem to show any interest in you and what you do, they're most likely not an actual friend. It's difficult to lose contact with someone you've known your whole life but it seems like it's for the best in this case. To be fair, there are contexts in which your friend posting about their hobbies or goings-ons on social media may cause you to disengage. I have friends who spent years studying for the LSAT/MCAT and made it their whole identities. I love them, but I had to mute them because it was 24/7 content about the tests.
worldwide angel Posted August 16, 2023 Posted August 16, 2023 i honestly think you need to cut her off, this seems more than just her not liking your art but i could be wrong. i would advise talkign to her about it, it will be difficult but it will allow you to move on for better or for worse. i really hope everything goes well 2
Artist Posted August 16, 2023 Posted August 16, 2023 37 minutes ago, Juanny said: It sounds like you already kind of know what to do and need assurance! Yes, your feelings are valid. Sounds like she’s only a negative presence in your life at this stage. You have given her plenty of your time, effort, and consideration while none was returned to you and you don’t need a friend like that. I always say long-term friends are just that: friends you’ve known a long time. You grow up so much from a stage like kindergarden, it can be hard to start to distance form someone you’ve known so long, and recognize when they’ve stopped being a friend, but you should let go when someone isn’t positively influencing your well being and needs anymore. Friends come and go into your life with a natural flow, so let it go that way and don’t force things to be as they aren’t. I agree with you 100%. You're really the only person on here who analyze a situation without bias. The only piece I would truly add is communication. Did you communicate? Sometimes people get used to friends playing a "role". It's not right but it's common - the average human is underappreciated and it's often because of lack of communication. We expect our supportive friends to be supportive even if we can't, we expect our cheery friend to be cheery and so we often end up on autopilot. If you communicated and you're not being supported, then as Juanny said - let it naturally fade away. You'll make room for more amazing friends.
CottageHore Posted August 16, 2023 Author Posted August 16, 2023 25 minutes ago, Rotunda said: To be fair, there are contexts in which your friend posting about their hobbies or goings-ons on social media may cause you to disengage. I have friends who spent years studying for the LSAT/MCAT and made it their whole identities. I love them, but I had to mute them because it was 24/7 content about the tests. Girl I posted about it twice it’s not like I’m getting online and spam posting daily about some test results I’m self-aware enough to know when I’m doing too much. The context you’re providing isn’t relevant here because it’s not what’s happening
Rotunda Posted August 16, 2023 Posted August 16, 2023 1 minute ago, CottageHore said: Girl I posted about it twice it’s not like I’m getting online and spam posting daily about some test results I’m self-aware enough to know when I’m doing too much. The context you’re providing isn’t relevant here because it’s not what’s happening I was making a general statement because you didn’t provide context. But if you’re upset your (very bad) friend didn’t respond to 2 posts about your art that within itself is a bit wild - which is why I assumed you posted more than that.
CottageHore Posted August 16, 2023 Author Posted August 16, 2023 2 minutes ago, Rotunda said: I was making a general statement because you didn’t provide context. But if you’re upset your (very bad) friend didn’t respond to 2 posts about your art that within itself is a bit wild - which is why I assumed you posted more than that. “Didn’t provide context”. I wrote 4 paragraphs, girl. Context was given, you simply jumped to conclusions and projected your own assumptions onto my situation Regardless, you raise viable points so thanks for contributing
Rotunda Posted August 16, 2023 Posted August 16, 2023 (edited) 14 minutes ago, CottageHore said: “Didn’t provide context”. I wrote 4 paragraphs, girl. Context was given, you simply jumped to conclusions and projected your own assumptions onto my situation Regardless, you raise viable points so thanks for contributing Am I speaking a different language? I said I was on your side and she was wrong. I’ve made 3 posts in your defense (primarily due to the wedding drama). Nowhere in your post did you outline how often you’ve been posting or how often she’s been ignoring your posts. All you said was that she ignored “every” post and definitely saw them. The context that you’ve only posted twice changes how much someone should be outraged by not getting a response. If my friend tried to confront me over not liking their last 2 Instagram posts I’d be like “girl what???”. Edited August 16, 2023 by Rotunda
Rotunda Posted August 16, 2023 Posted August 16, 2023 (edited) Also @CottageHore to make it very clear, I never implied or insinuated you were posting too much or spamming people with content. I told Ninasayers that in general, there are contexts in which people may not show support to someone through social media if they don’t like the content, even if they are friends. That’s all. I offered your 4 possible reasons why your pseudo-friend is ignoring you - because you didn’t give us enough information to make a definitive conclusion (specifically as it relates to the art, not the wedding drama). Two of those explanations were very sympathetic to you, including that she’s jealous of your art or envious that you’re pursuing art that you said she’s stopped pursuing. I did say it’s possible that she doesn’t like your social media presence or your art, but I never said you were posting too much so idk why I got hit with all this misplaced anger from you. Edited August 16, 2023 by Rotunda
AintNoOtherMe Posted August 16, 2023 Posted August 16, 2023 1 hour ago, CottageHore said: She doesn’t make art anymore and the art we make is not even in the same category. Not obsessed, just pondering and sharing which is what this forum is for. If you’re incapable of cultivating empathy, I’d prefer you don’t contribute your feedback, thx Empathy for what? That you don’t get enough likes on your Instagram art page? Get a grip! You obviously don’t know how to communicate your feelings and are emotionally immature. You should have talked to her about how you felt about that wedding thing. You decided to say nothing and still stayed friends and now you complain about her not liking your pics. Be honest and talk to her about your feelings or stay upset stalking her social media activity.
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