discussion Hard hitting truths gay men aren't ready to hear?

[State of Grace.]

- You cannot make a straight man **** you / fall in love with you. Most of the time the "flirting" is just them being respectful and nice but we're used to straight men being beholden to toxic masculinity. If they show interest then they're not straight.

 

- Bisexual men are valid and they're not lying to themselves.

 

- Being a sassy, catty, mean gay is not a personality trait and it stopped being funny a decade ago. Your trauma and mental struggles don't justify it either so it's not really a "defense or coping mechanism". You will never be Regina George.

 

- Let's stop treating sexual preferences/positions in bed as a personality too

 

- Throwing a huge part of the community who fought for the rights you have today under the bus is nasty and it won't make queerphobic people like you. You're just a pick me and a disgrace to the community.

 

- The world does not revolve around you (mostly @ western white gays). Stop jumping on queer POC's struggles and making it about yourself. 

 

We could camp in this thread forever. Yes I'm a bitter *****.  

[uusagii]

Most of us are suffering from substance abuse/addiction and it needs to be talked about more

[XO_Life]

There is an increased chance you will end up alone and become one of those old gays on Apps like grindr you are now laughing at.

[Kern]

Trying to be more masculine than you really are is cringe worthy and never works

[Selegend]

there's a huge difference between being a 'saint' and making ur whole personality about sex. being on the middle it's not a problem, it's actually most likely the solution. 

 

 

 

[uusagii]

2 minutes ago, Solaris said:

You are part of a vulnerable minority which means it is very important that you get your life together and achieve financial stability. 

This. I'm out to my family but the older I get, the more I'm starting to realize their love is conditional, and that my sexuality is the deal breaker

I can't count on them for **** anymore

[Selegend]

stop snorting c0k& like it's nothing. i do see way more gays than straight guys doing dr#gs and that has been worrying me on my night out weekends.  

[DeepEnd]

Ur going to hell. 

[nostalgic]

PrEP isn't an excuse to engage in risky sex practices, other STDs still exist  

[JoeAg]

your biphobia and transphobia sets us back to dark ages. don't be f*cking regressive. we're at our strongest when we are unashamedly progressive. love each other for god's sake. you spreading hate to members of our community makes you no better than the straight people who discriminate against us. just because you don't "understand it" or something like that doesn't mean you can't keep that horsesh*t to yourself and spread respect and love  and yes, this is a gay man thing I see everywhere

[Ryan]

A lot of gay men need to examine why they have such nastiness towards women. The way some gays refer to and talk about women is absolutely disgusting and misogynistic. Which is ironic considering how many emulate them. 

[Peroxide]

4 minutes ago, DeepEnd said:

Ur going to hell. 

Hell isn’t real babe 

[Great808]

To the gays that are in it for a monogamous relationship because definitely not all of y’all are it’s more than likely (not impossible but more than likely) you won’t find nor even have “the one” for you that will retain commitment forever. 

[crymelanie]

toxic masculinity exists in community too and we don't need to prove it with a stank attitude on dating apps

[Headlock]

17 minutes ago, Speaker Phone said:

That our biggest bullies are often not straight men, but other gay men.

Nah, I call bullshit on this one. Interpersonal problems in the queer community are true and valid, but active prejudice and discrimination from straight male society will always be the larger threat to our mental and physical wellbeing.

Edited July 31, 2023 by Headlock

[ontherocks]

Enjoy life. Don't read the comments in here too much. And sex is great with whoever you want and how often you want 

[Jotham]

Terms like "twink" and "bear" are inherently problematic and reinforce body standards and division in the community.

[Solaris]

8 minutes ago, JoeAg said:

your biphobia and transphobia sets us back to dark ages. don't be f*cking regressive. we're at our strongest when we are unashamedly progressive. love each other for god's sake. you spreading hate to members of our community makes you no better than the straight people who discriminate against us. just because you don't "understand it" or something like that doesn't mean you can't keep that horsesh*t to yourself and spread respect and love  and yes, this is a gay man thing I see everywhere

… Biphobia?

[Solaris]

Just now, Jotham said:

Terms like "twink" and "bear" are inherently problematic and reinforce body standards and division in the community.

These phrases are an easy and useful shorthand to describe our sexual preferences.

[EnigmaticAndroid]

Parroting contrarian right wing talking points doesn't make you smarter, more enlightened, or give what you say any more credibility. You're just supporting the people who'd rather you be dead. 

[AMIT]

just because you are gay doesn't mean that you are immune to right wing/reactionary propaganda (and reproducing them yourself) 

[Solaris]

Some of you really missed the point of this thread

[Headlock]

Just now, Speaker Phone said:

Sorry, I said "bullying" not systemic oppression. You're right that that comes dominantly from straight society.

I mean, define “bullying,” cause any kind of negative interactions within the queer community are magnified when interacting outside of it.

[Digitalism]

34 minutes ago, LCTV said:

People can hate you for your personality and not be homophobic.

Ouch

Part of getting older is realizing that some of what you thought was homofobia when you're young was actually you being a mess sometimes  

Edited July 31, 2023 by Digitalism

[Headlock]

8 minutes ago, Solaris said:

… Biphobia?

Yes? Aka not believing bisexuality is valid or real, that bi men are really gay men who haven’t come out fully yet, that being in a relationship with a man when you are bisexual does not negate the validity of your sexuality and ongoing attraction to women (and vice versa for bi women), etc.