Ghosted after a great time together. Has anyone experienced this?

[ICLDXU4HS]

Literally dozens of times, which is why I've become sorta cynical and haven't been truly invested in dating in years. 

[ugo]

Ummm just ignore and move on

 

 

[xokuba]

Is he a gemini? Would explain a lot...

[Shinning]

Welcome to being gay. You can have the time of your life together but suddenly they'll remind themselves they can find someone cuter, fitter, taller, richer, etc. than you and ghost you completely.

[Hurem]

2 hours ago, HeWon'tGo said:

But well, it was a hookup after all. I shouldn't have felt attached. It is my fault.

It is not your fault, sis. It’s completely normal to expect a response from another human being.

 

I’m so tired of gays trying to normalize the hookup culture that ultimately treats everyone as objects and not humans with feelings. 

[OnlyManInTheWorld]

Yes it happened to me several times.

[alp]

lol story of my life

[Cain]

I’ve had fun dates but no intention to meet up again  that happens

[Carla Rosón]

I've yet to hear of any gay who hasn't had this experience.

[fauxtography]

Yeah it’s been half a decade since I was on the dating scene but I never understood why men ghost. Like, I guess after one date it’s whatever, just weak and disrespectful, but my first BF ghosted me after dating for 6 months.

 

then when I ran into him years later he was like “no hard feelings? I just decided I really needed to explore being single.” 
 

electric chair, still hate him 

[Cain]

5 minutes ago, fauxtography said:

Yeah it’s been half a decade since I was on the dating scene but I never understood why men ghost. Like, I guess after one date it’s whatever, just weak and disrespectful, but my first BF ghosted me after dating for 6 months.

 

then when I ran into him years later he was like “no hard feelings? I just decided I really needed to explore being single.” 
 

electric chair, still hate him 

That’s… really weird wtf

Tbh I ghost people after 1 date but who tf would ghost their partner/longterm dater  that’s mental

[Kylie Jenner]

As someone who ghosted and probably gave off a similar impression that the person in question did, it’s nothing deep. The person was far too clingy and attached to me for a hookup so maybe they felt the same way. 

[Just a Gay on ATRL]

Yeah this has happened to me several times.  Used to affect me more in my early-mid 20s, but now I have a refusal to hook up on the first date policy so I really make the person prove themselves before giving it up. A lot of gay men lie about their intentions and only want sex but will be vague about it to string you along.

 

I have a pretty tough approach on dating in my late 20s - as soon as I notice a guy getting hard to reach out to or superrr slow to reply back, I don’t beg for his attention or get angry. I just move on and say good riddance. They’re not worth it and they’re doing you a favor. Let them get their next piece of meat because that’s all they’re looking for.

 

 

[katara]

5 hours ago, Cain said:

That’s… really weird wtf

Tbh I ghost people after 1 date but who tf would ghost their partner/longterm dater  that’s mental

I had 2 seperate instances where I dated guys for about 2-3 months only for them to ghost me out of the blue.

 

Most guys are PIGS and have the attention span of 3 months at most. 

[katara]

6 hours ago, Shinning said:

Welcome to being gay. You can have the time of your life together but suddenly they'll remind themselves they can find someone cuter, fitter, taller, richer, etc. than you and ghost you completely.

Yes exactly. Gays are a walking parody of the paradox of choice 

[katara]

1 hour ago, Jaded. said:

Yeah this has happened to me several times.  Used to affect me more in my early-mid 20s, but now I have a refusal to hook up on the first date policy so I really make the person prove themselves before giving it up. A lot of gay men lie about their intentions and only want sex but will be vague about it to string you along.

 

I have a pretty tough approach on dating in my late 20s - as soon as I notice a guy getting hard to reach out to or superrr slow to reply back, I don’t beg for his attention or get angry. I just move on and say good riddance. They’re not worth it and they’re doing you a favor. Let them get their next piece of meat because that’s all they’re looking for.

 

 

Yeah same. When I wanna date someone I make sure that the first 1 or 2 dates are somewhere public where no sex can happen. That usually weeds out the ones who are only after sex.

 

Also just like you I have gotten better at seeing the signs of disintesest. Like if the guy takes one or 2 days to reply then he just isn't into you. If you really are into someone you think about them often and try to contact them any time you can so those "been busy" lines just don't cut it. 

[Shinning]

12 minutes ago, katara said:

Yes exactly. Gays are a walking parody of the paradox of choice 

Because they don’t actually want a relationship. They tell themselves they do and always complain about how hard gay dating is and how no one wants them but in reality they love the thrill of hooking up and flirting and the feelings that come with that. And they lose interest after hooking up a few times because that thrill is gone and they can’t commit.

[Just a Gay on ATRL]

11 minutes ago, katara said:

Yeah same. When I wanna date someone I make sure that the first 1 or 2 dates are somewhere public where no sex can happen. That usually weeds out the ones who are only after sex.

 

Also just like you I have gotten better at seeing the signs of disintesest. Like if the guy takes one or 2 days to reply then he just isn't into you. If you really are into someone you think about them often and try to contact them any time you can so those "been busy" lines just don't cut it. 

With both friends & potential lovers, if they take 1-2 days a time to reply to you, I hate to break it to everyone but they’re not interested in you as a person like that lol. You said it perfectly, if someone wants to talk to you and be good friends/dating you, replying should be relatively effortless. If replying is that slow, the indirect message is that it’s burdensome. 
 

I’ve taken a step back from people when I start to notice that they do this. Or if I always reach out first. F that. 
 

Admittedly SOMETIMES friends are preoccupied and distracted but if it becomes a pattern, they’re telling you something without telling you something.

[katara]

5 minutes ago, Jaded. said:

With both friends & potential lovers, if they take 1-2 days a time to reply to you, I hate to break it to everyone but they’re not interested in you as a person lol. 
 

Admittedly SOMETIMES friends are preoccupied and distracted but if it becomes a pattern, they’re telling you something without telling you something.

Oh I don't agree here tbh. The dynamics are way too different. I feel like with new friends and new potential partners this is the case where one should communicate in a timely manner.

 

But in the case of friendships that are like years and decades long there can be cases where you forget to text for like a week sometimes and still the friendship doesn't suffer at all. It's weird but it's like that. 

[katara]

13 minutes ago, Shinning said:

Because they don’t actually want a relationship. They tell themselves they do and always complain about how hard gay dating is and how no one wants them but in reality they love the thrill of hooking up and flirting and the feelings that come with that. And they lose interest after hooking up a few times because that thrill is gone and they can’t commit.

Oh damn this hits hard. I am not gonna lie I caught myself experiencing the same pretty often. Like I think I should want a relationship but I don't actually.

[Just a Gay on ATRL]

7 minutes ago, katara said:

Oh I don't agree here tbh. The dynamics are way too different. I feel like with new friends and new potential partners this is the case where one should communicate in a timely manner.

 

But in the case of friendships that are like years and decades long there can be cases where you forget to text for like a week sometimes and still the friendship doesn't suffer at all. It's weird but it's like that. 

This is true there’s an important distinction between new and old friends. There are certain friends you just have an understanding you can not talk for months but when you reconnect it’s the same.

 

I’m a little jaded (hence the username lol) at the friend topic rn because I am having some friend annoyances  

[ImsoLOUD]

2 hours ago, Jaded. said:

Yeah this has happened to me several times.  Used to affect me more in my early-mid 20s, but now I have a refusal to hook up on the first date policy so I really make the person prove themselves before giving it up. A lot of gay men lie about their intentions and only want sex but will be vague about it to string you along.

 

I have a pretty tough approach on dating in my late 20s - as soon as I notice a guy getting hard to reach out to or superrr slow to reply back, I don’t beg for his attention or get angry. I just move on and say good riddance. They’re not worth it and they’re doing you a favor. Let them get their next piece of meat because that’s all they’re looking for.

 

 

Liiiiiiiiiiiterally same

[fauxtography]

8 hours ago, Cain said:

That’s… really weird wtf

Tbh I ghost people after 1 date but who tf would ghost their partner/longterm dater  that’s mental

Girl it messed me up for years

[DamianSolo]

For me, what's disappointing about it is that they turned out to be someone stupid enough to play such childish games—not being ghosted in and of itself. Because, at that point, by all means, go far away and leave me alone. I hate having my time wasted, though, and that's what makes me feel some type of way about it.

 

I know my worth as a person. I won't be everyone's cup of tea, obviously, but sometimes people just simply have poor taste.

[fountain]

He’s a rat, simple as that. Don’t worry about it sweetie, you deserve better than somebody like that anyway.